If you’re doing this devotional, then most likely you have lost a loved one. May you know the comfort and hope of God as he provides for you in grief.
Tyndale House Publishers
Day 1
Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
The End Is a Beginning
Hope?! How could Paul, the writer of this letter, possibly use the words death and hope in the same sentence? After losing a loved one, life feels like the opposite of hope: sadness, confusion, despair. It seems as though all we can see ahead is darkness. However, since our citizenship is in heaven, we do not operate as the world does, and that includes the way that we grieve.
In this passage, Paul gives us a clue about death that can give us hope and set us apart from the way that others grieve. Paul reminds us in verse 14 of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Notice that he doesn’t say Jesus’ life and death. Instead, he notes his death first and then reminds us of his victory over it. The bad precedes the good.
The Bible is full of God working this way, starting his work in a manner that often feels to us like an ending. In creation, the days are marked by the morning rising out of darkness. In the Old Testament, God brings his people Israel out of slavery and into their own land. And now, Paul uses Jesus’ story to tell us that this is just the way God works when we face the deaths of those we love.
God doesn’t end the day with darkness, he doesn’t leave his people in slavery, and he doesn’t let death have the last word. Instead, Paul reminds us that our pain, suffering, and even death itself are really a beginning. We do not have a God who is powerless in the face of darkness, but who sees it as a canvas on which to write his redemption story. One day, God will also raise us in his glorious resurrection over death. Even as you grieve, he’s starting that resurrection work right now.
Because of this, it makes sense that Paul would talk about death and hope as if they go together. They do! As Christians, death does not leave us empty and despairing, rather it points us forward to the resurrection of our bodies and of those we love, and to spending all of eternity with God. Darkness is only where your God begins.
Day 2
Scriptures: 1 Kings 19:4-5, 1 Kings 19:1-9
Taking Care of You
Grief brings a flood of emotions that can wear us down emotionally. It is easy to ignore the physical toll that these emotions have on us, but eventually, we can’t deny our exhaustion anymore. In 1 Kings 19 the prophet Elijah had the same problem.
Overwhelmed with stress and desperation and running from his enemies has completely exhausted him. (Read 1 Kings 19:1-9 to get the whole picture.) When we meet Elijah here, he is asking God to take his life because he cannot go on any longer. God lovingly responds by sending an angel, not to talk him out of his feelings or give him an inspiring message, but to give him bread and water and to tell him to take a nap. Carbs. God sent an angel to give his prophet carbs. Instead of giving him protein or sugar to power him ahead, God knew that what Elijah needed was comfort food and some sleep.
God knows that it is hard to focus on his truth when we neglect what our body needs. When the emotional toll of grief is too much for you to bear, God encourages you through the prophet Elijah— make sure that you have some good food and rest. If your sadness is causing sleepless nights and a loss of appetite, find ways to love your body.
If God had just stopped here, then this would be the perfect excuse to wallow in bed eating ice cream. Isn’t that taking care of your body? But God had bigger plans in store for Elijah. After giving him space to recharge, God sent Elijah on his way, fully renewed. God didn’t give up on him and say, “You’re not strong enough. I’ll leave you to sit around and eat.” No! Every Bible story is about God working his great plan through people who are not strong enough. He did it for Elijah; he’ll do it for you too!
If you are feeling weak and worn thin by emotions, take God’s advice and get some rest. Take care of your body because it is the vehicle through which you live out God’s plan for you.
Day 3
Scripture: Psalms 37:23-24
Get It Together
Have you lost track of time since your person died? Have you forgotten where you put your phone or if you ate breakfast? Are you having trouble remembering assignments at school or work? If so, you’re not alone. After your person dies, your brain can get kind of foggy! It’s doing a lot of processing to understand the permanence of your loss and the implications of it for your life. When your brain is working overtime, it makes sense that some of the basic tasks of life start to fall through the cracks.
While it can be tough to navigate life when you’re feeling fatigued or forgetful, Scripture reminds us that we don’t need to work through our day planners on our own. Our steps are ordered by God; God knows your calendar even better than you do because he designed it himself! He knows where you’ve been and where you’re going. He knows the requirements of this day, and he’ll help you make it through them as best you can.
Knowing that God has a big plan in store can offer comfort, but what about the everyday nitty-gritty? Where is God in that? Thankfully, God’s got that covered too. The psalmist reminds us that not only does God know the pathway you’ll walk, he’s placing your foot each step of the way. You don’t need to look a week or a month in advance right now. By God’s grace, he’ll give you the wisdom and discernment for your next step; every single footfall you make will be directed by him.
As you’re muddling through the confusion and fog of grief, take this truth to heart. You can move as slowly as you need. You can cancel or reschedule plans to allow for a gentler life. You can take this life with grief one step at a time. As you do this, invite God into each of the small tasks that will make up your day. Ask him to help you remember where you put your keys (and thank him when you find them!). Pray before you respond to an invitation from a friend. In every basic task of life, God is present and guiding you.
Day 4
Scriptures: Psalms 88:9, Psalms 142:1-3
Keep Talking
After the death of a loved one, it’s normal to have spiritual questions. Whether or not you’ve followed Jesus before, loss makes us wonder lots of things about God—what he’s really like, if he’s really listening, whether he really loves us. When life is hard we can feel like God has abandoned us and doubt his actual power over our circumstances. If your anger, sadness, or any other emotion clouds your vision and makes God feel far away, the psalmist writes prayers (conversations with God) that can help.
What do these kinds of conversations look like when God feels far away? First, the psalmist models offering all of his feelings fully to God. He does not push them down or pretend like they are not a big deal. There are whole psalms about anger and about despair, psalms that question God’s presence and doubt him! All of this is okay.
Second, he keeps the conversation going; the psalmist doesn’t only talk to friends about his pain. He talks to God, even in the midst of his big emotions. “I beg for yourhelp,” he writes. “I cry out to the Lord.” Though he is troubled and his eyes are blinded by tears, he continues to bring his feelings to God. Even when God feels distant or even absent, the psalmist won’t give up the conversation!
There is nothing that God would rather you keep to yourself. There is nothing that is off limits to talk about with him. Present all your grief, your numbness, your despair, your anger to the God who is just waiting for you to let him carry them. There is no burden that we are better at carrying than God, so why not offer all of them to him?
Day 5
Scriptures: John 12:24, Philippians 1:6
Handmade, Heavenmade
Did you know that a small seed holds within it everything it needs to start a new plant? Every seed includes the “food” that will energize its initial growth into a sprout. It includes a little bit of moisture that will nourish it as the sun warms the soil. Every seed that is planted is a miniature universe of life just waiting to start.
By now, you can probably see the comparison. Like a seed, you’ve been buried in the soil of sorrow. It’s dark and cold, and it’s hard to see how anything could grow from this mixture of rocks of sadness and compost of old dreams and soil of dusty hopes and plans. Grief feels like falling to the ground and dying. From where life has planted you, you might think that your life will only ever be this—a single seed of that vibrant kernel of wheat life that used to be.
However, if you’ve spent any time around a garden, you know there’s more than meets the eye here. Burial is precisely what seeds need to grow. Darkness incubates them. Soil doesn’t smother, it cradles them. Where it might seem that death reigns, life is actually beginning to sprout. The same is true for you as you rebuild your life after loss. Regardless of how loss has reshaped your life, your life’s seed has been planted, and it’s time to grow.
There’s a lot of work before you as you learn to live with loss. We’ve talked about some of that work this week—the self-care, the emotional and spiritual honesty, the practical plans, and work that lies before you. But lest you think that this work will always be a drudgery or harvest only minimal results, hear the words of Jesus to you. “If [a single seed] dies, it produces many seeds.”
Growth after loss isn’t just a possibility. If you seek it out, it’s a probability. God asks you to step forward in trust and do the work that he has put before you. As you put your hand to the plow, as you cultivate the soil of your life, you’ll discover that your work isn’t only made by you. This handmade crafting of your life is also heavenmade. Paul describes it like this to the church at Philippi: “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6, NIV).
The death of your person is not the death of you. God has so much life ahead for you. I can’t wait to see you grow!