I Still Love the Church

Scriptures: John 16:16-33, Matthew 16:24-26, Luke 4:18, Mark 2:17, Luke 23:26

THE PAIN TENSION & THE TRUTH HOPE

John 16:16-33 is loaded with painful tensions and truth-fulled hope. I chose this text intentionally to capture the space my heart seeks to speak into. Jesus said in verse 33, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart because I have overcome the world.” I felt compelled to write this plan in the wake of another great church leader stepping down in light of abuse. I intend not to name any leader or church but to help people process this space in a life-giving way because I still love the church and believe it is the world’s hope. 

By no means do I seek to diminish in any way the pain, hurt or betrayal many have gone through from those in the church, leadership or others. I, in the 34 years of being a Christ follower and over 30 years of being a volunteer, staff member and counsellor called to serve the local church, have had to navigate disappointment, abuse, unmet expectations and false judgments. I know very well that I am imperfect; I have caused hurt, not met expectations, had bad days and failed. This is not my heart, but my fallen, fickle, fragile fallibleness. 

In John 16:20, Jesus declared that the disciples would weep and mourn over what would happen to him while the world rejoiced. This must have been an incredibly painful tension to have gone through, but as Jesus declared, their grief would turn into a wonderful joy. Jesus later said that no one could rob them of that joy. 

Jesus is very aware that there will be pain, hurt, betrayal, grief and every other trouble that one could go through in this world. He never promised that life as a Christ follower would be pain-free; in fact, he instructs us to pick up our cross and follow him. At the same time, Jesus came to bind the broken-hearted and set those in captivity to resentment and bitterness-free. Jesus came to this world for the sick, not the healthy, and we are all sick. 

So, how do we journey from hurt to healing, from oppressed to overjoyed, from pain to purpose? How do we trust that God will provide people like Simon, who carried the cross for Jesus when he struggled to walk the most painful journey of his life? Will we allow them to walk that journey with us? Will we commit to seeking Godly wisdom amidst worldly pain so that we do not become bitter but live better? 

Reflective Questions: 

• What struggles do you face when loving the local church where imperfect individuals populate? 
• What or who is keeping you stuck from loving the local church? 
• What vows have you made because of hurt, betrayal or abuse? 
• Who do you know that may be hurting because of church hurt that you can pray for and reach out to to be a safe space for them to process 

Pray:

Jesus, I choose to authentically bring my whole self before you today as I seek your face and wisdom for this healing journey. Thank you that you came to bind up the broken-hearted. I pray for a revelation of your love for me and all those hurt by someone in a local church. I pray for your church that unity will prevail and restoration comes. Amen. 

Scriptures: Romans 3:23-24, Psalms 51:5, Genesis 8:21, Romans 5:12, Philippians 2:6, Genesis 3:5, John 2:24-25, Matthew 28:18-20

PEOPLE ARE NOT PERFECT

As a mom of two boys, I clearly remember looking into the innocence of their newborn eyes, unable to imagine them as anything but perfect. Genesis 8:21 tells us that human nature is bent towards evil from childhood; this rings true as I watched my boys discover their voice, autonomy, and strong will that often seeks to defy authority. The tension lies in the space between loving them with every cell of our bodies and, at the same time, feeling heartbroken over their behaviour. If you are a parent, you may nod in silent understanding while quietly praying for guidance for the path ahead. 

Scripture is clear: no one is perfect; we ALL fall short of God’s glorious standard. So, what does that mean about men and women in church leadership roles? Can we expect perfection? No. Should we insist on high accountability? Yes. 

It is equally dangerous to place someone in leadership without accountability as it is to give that one person in leadership all power over your worth and value. To reject God because of man is as foolish as to trust man as if they are god. 

Equality with God is not something anyone should grasp after. We must confront this reality, particularly because we have inherited the knowledge of good and evil, leading us to adopt a misguided belief of seeing ourselves as godlike. This is a dangerous place for those in leadership to not slip into, hence why accountability is crucial. 

So, what did Jesus do with the fickleness of human beings? 

John 2:24-25 “But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew all about people. No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart.” Jesus was not surprised by human nature, nor did he unquestioningly trust it. Yet he commissions the mission of the church to human beings Matthew 28:18-20.NOTE: He never commissioned the mission of the church to ONE person. 

The church is called the “body of Christ”, which has many different parts. In the same way that my body has many parts, individual parts alone can fail. My big toe was not designed to carry the weight of my entire body, nor should individuals. My big toe can also break, but this does not mean I cast it aside or personalize it, failing me. 

So, how do we process this tension with wisdom? God has given us every kingdom tool needed for healing: 

• Revelation fosters brutal honesty as things are made known. 
• Repentance that requires turning away from sin. 
• Restoration requires a commitment to the healing journey. 
• Reconciliation stands against disunity as one seeks to end estrangement. 
• Redemption is a gift given through the price Jesus paid on the cross. 
• Regeneration is the process of being made new. 

The truth is that God knows we need these tools because, without them, we are lost. However, we can invite Jesus into the pain, which He often turns into purpose, or we can make pain and unforgiveness our dwelling place. We have a choice to get better or stay bitter. We have a choice of life versus death. 

Having said all this, the journey for those on the receiving end of hurt is not an overnight journey; I encourage you to find safe spaces to process your pain with wisdom to find freedom and restoration for your body, soul and spirit. Remember, you are not alone; Jesus understands betrayal better than anyone. 

Reflective Questions: 

• What beliefs or vows am I holding to that are keeping me stuck? 
• In what way are those beliefs or vows robbing me of walking in freedom? 
• Have I in any way placed a human being on the same platform as God? 
• How has this robbed my relationship with God? 

Pray:

Jesus, I invite you to share my pain and despair today. I pray for your wisdom and guidance as I journey with you to freedom. I pray for wisdom to discern the difference between forgiveness and establishing healthy boundaries. Thank you that I don’t have to walk this journey alone, for you are with me. Amen. 

Scriptures: Matthew 28:18-20, 1 Corinthians 12:18, John 3:16, Romans 8:28, Ephesians 1:3-6, 1 Peter 1:18-20, 2 Timothy 1:9

THE CHURCH IS GOD’S PLAN

“The local church is the hope of the world.” I believe in this statement with every cell in my body. 

Yet many local church leaders have caused more hurt than hope in individuals’ lives. At the same time, many more have found renewed hope because of many in the body of Christ. The church is God’s plan. 

Let us first take a look at God. One thing that we know for sure is that He is not surprised, panicked or passive about anything. God is active, prepared and strategic. Before the earth’s foundation was even formed, he had a plan. God’s got this. He is in control. Focusing on the hurt right before us is too easy to lose perspective. It is important to sometimes take a step back and remember that God is sovereign; he is the beginning and the end. He works all things back into good. God can bring purpose out of pain when we allow him in. Partnership with Jesus is crucial to the plan, as we cannot do anything in our strength. 

Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 4:16 declares that He makes the whole body fit perfectly and that each part has its special work. When that happens, it helps other parts grow. This is the body of Christ working holistically, not individually. This is God’s plan for the church. The plan was never meant to be about one part above another. The plan is that when people see the body of Christ working, they see Jesus. Placing a person above The Church is like placing my eye above my entire body. However, the slightest piece of dust in my eye can render it dysfunctional. 

God has a plan—this is clear. However, we have been given free will, which often results in individuals going rogue and detouring from the plan. Once again, the truth and tension stand side by side. People fail; the church hasn’t. The church’s mission was placed in the hands of fallen, fickle humans over decades, and it still prevails. 

May you never allow the broken tension of individual humans to become your truth, but always use the truth of Jesus to process the tensions of this broken world. WHY – because in this lies the hope for the world. Modelling a better way – John 13:35: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” 

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

• Do you believe that God has a purpose and plan for your life within the great plan for the church? 
• What lies or vows have you been believing that has held you back from stepping into your purpose and plan? 

PRAY: 

Jesus, I thank you that you have a plan and purpose for my life despite my fallenness. Thank you for using wounded healers to activate your plan for the world. Thank you for calling me to be your ambassador; I pray that you are a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path every step of the way. Amen. 

Scriptures: James 3:8-9, Romans 7:15-17, Hebrews 10:14

THE “AND” DILEMMA

It was F. Scott Fitzgerald who famously wrote: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless yet be determined to make them otherwise.”

Psychology calls this “Cognitive Dissonance,” the discomfort one feels when behaviour does not align with values. It’s the ability to hold contradictory beliefs at the same time. I still love the church, AND there are people in the church who have caused great hurt and harm. (It is interesting to note that a toddler’s brain is too underdeveloped to understand that a parent can love them unconditionally and be disappointed in them simultaneously. This is often why a child can panic when in trouble, as they believe their parent has stopped loving them. This is why teaching your child through reassurance of your love is crucial whilst simultaneously dealing with their behaviour.) 

We live in a world filled with cognitive dissonance, tensions that one must learn to manage. In Romans 7:15-17, Paul speaks about the tension of sin versus Spirit. The things he wants to do, he doesn’t do, and the things he doesn’t want to do, he does. The tension lies in the space between one’s heart and our fallen nature that is still becoming (maturing) like Christ. I am a child of God (position) AND becoming more like Christ (progression.) I am justified because of Jesus AND in the process of being sanctified through the work of the Holy Spirit. Hebrews 10:14

James 3:8-9 is another great example of cognitive dissonance, “But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, AND sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.” 

The key is processing the tension of these two spaces while still seeking God’s wisdom for redemption. This is the AND space. I love the church, AND I am processing the hurt of a leader. I love God, AND I am imperfect and often fail. I desire to be the best mom I can AND often fail miserably. Freedom is found when we don’t allow our wretchedness to define us. Our wretched fallenness is not an identity but a need for a Savior. Healing is found when we hold this space with integrity and vulnerability and invite Jesus in to do what He can do. 

My prayer for everyone wrestling in the valley of hurt caused by a local church or a person in that church, leader or otherwise, is to keep wrestling with Jesus at the centre of everything you do. Wrestling is intimate, and when you do it with wisdom, it will produce a wealth of healing as you walk through to the other side of the journey. 

I still love the church despite its being filled with fallen, fickle, fallible, fragile people. I love it because of that fact. This is the gospel’s good news message. I pray that more and more church leaders will shift to higher levels of accountability and transparency while stepping off the platforms they have elevated themselves onto. I pray for every congregant who has elevated their pastor onto a platform of perfection in their mind to undo this dangerous mindset. I encourage anyone in the valley of pain to find safe spaces to work through their emotions in a healthy, life-giving way. Remember, rejecting God based on the actions of a man is as unwise as viewing man as if they are God. 

PRAY

Jesus, thank you for loving us all so much that you came to give your life for everyone of us so that all could find life and live life to the full. I pray for your resurrection power to lift my hurt out of the valley of pain into a place of new life and purpose. Amen.