Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love Is a Choice 

“Who is that?” 

Those were the first words I uttered when I saw a picture of my wife. Her smile captivated me—and it still does to this day. At that point in life, the sting of divorce was still fresh, and the idea of opening up to someone new was scary. I found myself at a point of decision: take the risk of experiencing further pain by putting myself out there, or stay in the safety of isolation where at least I felt in control. 

That initial choice to take a risk led to God revealing what He truly had in mind when He created the covenant of marriage. Our journey has had its share of peaks and valleys, yet the commitment to choose each other daily has never wavered. Every day God blesses us with is another opportunity to honor the vow we made—not just to each other, but to Him. 

When I think about our relationship today compared to when we were dating, so much has changed. (Besides my pants being a little tighter these days…) We’ve both grown in our thoughts, beliefs, and experiences. I’ve had the privilege of walking with her through different seasons and trials—each one shaping us in unique and lasting ways. 

From changes in careers, to moving, to having babies—and even walking through the heartbreaking loss of a child—nothing could have prepared me for the adventure that began after saying “I do.” Maybe that’s why 1 Corinthians 13 hits so hard. It gives us a glimpse into what love looks like in action—but those words are just that: words, unless we live them out. 

And that’s where the challenge lies. The application. Knowing what love is, is one thing. Choosing to live it out, especially when it’s hard, inconvenient, or costly—that’s where the refining happens. 

Love, to me, could be described as the aligned action of developing a meaningful family life. I find my wife beautiful in many activities but no less beautiful, and sometimes more, when she is working on the farm and helping our family grow in meaningful aspects. Those behaviors are where we continue to be renewed and aligned. 

Hollywood and social media have distorted so much of what God intended for love and marriage that we can often find ourselves comparing our journey to a standard that’s false. Maybe this reframe will help you, too: The filtered version of love is transactional and short-term. 

But choosing your spouse daily—flaws, mess, beauty, and all that is long-term and that is an avenue for personal and relationship growth. It works best when we keep Jesus at the center. 

Because love isn’t a feeling—it’s a choice. 

And when we choose to love the way Christ modeled it, day in and day out, we build something stronger than any emotion could sustain. 

Questions to Consider: 

1. Where are you choosing comfort over commitment in your marriage? 
2. What distracts you from pursuing your spouse daily?

Scripture: Ephesians 5:25

Selflessness in Marriage 

“You complete me.” 

If you’re a movie buff, you’ll recognize that famous line from the 90s classic Jerry Maguire. While it makes for a powerful moment on screen, I’ve found it couldn’t be further from the truth. 

As much as I love my wife, she doesn’t complete me. And thankfully, I don’t complete her either. 

Because that kind of thinking puts an unfair burden on your spouse—one that no human can carry. Completion only comes from Christ. And what marriage really needs isn’t completion—it’s selflessness. 

I think back to when my wife and I were just getting to know each other. That season led me to one of the greatest personal sacrifices of my life: buying opera tickets. 

For a guy who grew up in the South, the closest I had come to the opera was Bugs Bunny in a Viking helmet. Still a classic—but not quite the same. 

I felt like a bull in a china shop and asked more questions than she expected. (Side note: apparently yelling “Play Freebird!” is frowned upon in that setting…who knew?) 

But at that moment, I wasn’t trying to impress her. I was trying to get to know her. That night wasn’t about me—it was about learning what she loved, what moved her, and what mattered to her. 

That was selflessness in action. 

And since then, she’s done the same for me—asking about motorcycles, showing up to races, and pretending to be as interested in horsepower as I am. 

What we’ve discovered is this: Our marriage grows strongest when we stop looking inward and start leaning outward. When we let go of “what’s in it for me” and focus on “what does my spouse need?” 

That’s what Paul is challenging us with in Ephesians 5:25. Christ didn’t just love with words.He gave Himself up—fully, sacrificially, intentionally. That’s a model and a mission worth pursuing. 

My sense is that when we look at the world this way, as a place to ask “where can I serve”, not “what can I get from it”, we are much more aligned with God’s intention and as a result, our marriages become much more aligned. That reframe of seeking to pursue what can I do to make this marriage more fulfilling to my partner has the ability to produce incredible fruit. 

And while it’s not always easy, it is always worth it. 

Questions to Consider: 

1. Where am I placing unrealistic expectations on my spouse? 
2. What does selflessness look like in your marriage today? 

Scripture: Colossians 3:13

Conflict Resolution

My wife and I never fight—we have discussions.

At least, that’s what she calls them.

For the longest time, I believed a “healthy” marriage meant zero conflict. I thought that if we argued, it meant we were broken or doomed to become just another statistic. So when we had our first real disagreement, I panicked.

Part of that came from my childhood. I don’t recall seeing my parents argue much. Looking back, I know they must have had conflict—they just chose to handle it privately, away from me and my brother. That shaped my expectations, and without realizing it, I carried an unrealistic belief: conflict = failure.

Stack that with the sting of my first marriage ending, and I was primed to avoid conflict at all costs.

Looking back now, that was a mistake. And I share that openly because maybe that’s where you are right now.

The truth is, even the strongest marriages will face conflict. Disagreements aren’t a sign that your marriage is broken—they’re a sign that you’re human.

But what makes all the difference is how we handle those moments.

A marriage will always be a discussion between two people and there will be times when they don’t agree, be it where to send the kids to school, or even where to spend Thanksgiving. Something I’ve learned is not to build my life to avoid those moments but it is those moments where we can effectively strengthen our marriage. The trick is two things, one is how to have difficult conversations in a solution oriented way and the second is being able to ask for forgiveness and extend true forgiveness when errors are made in communication or emotion.

Which leads us to the question worth wrestling with – Are you going to be the chief forgiver in your marriage— or the chief avoider?

For the longest time (and still, if I’m honest), I leaned hard toward avoidance. It felt easier. Cleaner. Safer. But every time I avoided conflict instead of facing it with humility, the tension lingered longer than it should have.

The most painful moments in our marriage didn’t need to stretch on as long as they did.If I had chosen radical forgiveness—instead of silence, shutdown, or passive frustration—those moments could have been resolved sooner, with less damage.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It doesn’t mean ignoring the issue.It means choosing grace over grudges. It means choosing to release instead of resent. And here’s the model we’ve been given: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Jesus didn’t wait for us to apologize first. He didn’t hold it over our heads. He bore the cost—and freed us.

That’s our example. That’s our calling.

Questions to Consider:

1. What past conflict still lingers unresolved today?
2. How quick are you to offer forgiveness when hurt?

Scripture: Genesis 33:4

Rebuilding Trust

I’m not a naturally trusting person.

That’s been a hurdle in our marriage.

After being hurt a few times—by people I once trusted—and because of that, I found it easier to build walls than risk being hurt again. The wild part? Most of those walls weren’t built because of anything my wife did. They were scars from other people, from other seasons… yet she’s the one who’s had to scale them.

Sometimes, she gets the most guarded, distant version of me—not because she’s untrustworthy, but because I’ve let past pain shape my present posture.

And yet—she stays.

Time and time again, she’s shown me that she’s not going anywhere. Her quiet strength and unwavering commitment to our marriage have softened some of the walls I didn’t even realize I’d built.

What I’m learning is this: Trust is a two-way street. It doesn’t grow by staying safe. It grows when we choose to open up, little by little—especially when it feels risky.

As men, we’re often raised to keep our guard up:

• “Don’t show weakness.”
• “Keep your cards close.”
• “Trust no one.”

And then we get married, and we’re suddenly expected to give someone full access to the most vulnerable parts of our soul?

That transition is no joke. But here’s the truth: Those worldly mindsets don’t build a godly marriage. They build isolation, distance, and suspicion.

In Genesis 33, we see an incredible moment between two brothers—Jacob and Esau—who had every reason to stay divided. Jacob had betrayed Esau deeply. Years had passed. The wounds were real.

But when they finally met again, Esau ran to Jacob. He embraced him. “And they wept.”

That’s what reconciliation looks like. Not easy. Not instant. But possible.

In marriage, trust will inevitably be tested—sometimes even broken. But the question is: what will we do when it is?

Rebuilding trust doesn’t happen through words alone. It takes humility to admit where we’ve failed. Action to show we’re changing. And time to let healing do its work.

Whether you’re rebuilding trust that’s been lost, or tearing down old walls that shouldn’t have been there in the first place—Know this: God is in the business of restoration.

He restored Jacob and Esau. He can restore trust in your marriage too.

Questions to Consider:

1. What past hurt is affecting your trust in marriage?
2. How do you respond when trust is broken?

Scripture: Philippians 4:6-7

Prayer as a Weapon

I’m going to shoot straight: I’m a hypocrite when it comes to praying with my wife.

I’ve written articles, given talks to rooms full of men, recorded podcasts, and sat knee-to-knee with guys—challenging them to pray daily with their spouse. I’ve even built resources to help men start.

And yet… every few months, I find myself looking at my wife and apologizing for letting that rhythm slip. Again.

I share that with you for one reason: grace. That’s the one word I want planted in your heart today when it comes to prayer.

Because here’s the deal—if you decide to pray with your wife, the enemy will notice. And he’ll throw everything he can at you to stop it.

• Morning prayers? Distractions will come.
• Evening prayers? Expect exhaustion or tension.

Why? Because there is nothing more dangerous to the enemy than a husband and wife who pray together. A praying couple becomes difficult to divide and powerful in the Spirit.

My encouragement to you—as one guy to another—is this:

• Lean into the hard.
• Hold her hand.
• Speak the words.
• Even if they feel clunky or forced, lay down your requests together before the Father, who wants your marriage to thrive.

I’m not giving you a formula or a perfect time of day—that’s for you two to work out. But here’s what I will say clearly: It starts with you.

As the spiritual leader in your home, this responsibility is yours—not hers. And I’ve learned (more than once) how easy it is to blame her when the habit slips, only to realize how ridiculous that is.

God handpicked you to lead. 

Not because you’re perfect, but because you’re His. And there’s no better way to lead than by regularly going to Him in prayer, beside your wife, with humility, trust, and thanksgiving.

Questions to Consider:

1. What’s holding you back from starting this habit?
2. Do you see prayer as a burden—or a weapon?

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If you’ve read this far, you’re in the fight—and I honor that.

You’ve looked at love as a daily choice.You’ve embraced selflessness, wrestled with conflict, begun rebuilding trust, and now you’re anchoring your home in prayer.

You’re not perfect—but you’re present.And that’s exactly the kind of man God uses to protect, lead, and strengthen his marriage.

Your marriage isn’t built on grand gestures—it’s built in the quiet moments of surrender, sacrifice, and showing up.So keep choosing her.Keep forgiving.Keep leading.

Because every time you lean in when it’s easier to check out…Every time you speak life when you feel tired…Every time you pray when it’s awkward or inconvenient…

You’re not just surviving marriage.You’re fighting for it—God’s way.

So stay in the battle.The Lion Within you was made for this.

Thank You