In Deepest Waters // He Is There

Scripture: Psalms 54:1

Want to Wrestle?

Let’s keep this simple. There is a pace, a rhythm to how I work in you. I know you want to rush it, to feel fully free. I place that longing within you to search for Me, a longing that cannot be replaced but can be filled with other things, other commitments.

Oh, daughter, what does it look like to be committed to Me?

Let Me tell you.

There is waiting. A lot of waiting. At least that is what it feels like.

It feels like I am stalling, that I am busy doing other things and can’t attend to you or I am pushing you to wrestle with Me into discomfort.

Wrestling, by its nature, is uncomfortable.

But let me tell you more about wrestling. It is full body contact. It is arms wrapped around. It is holding on tight and tumbling and maintaining a firm grasp on your opponent.

I am willing to wrestle with you. I am willing to stay here, in the arena, with you. I am willing to be with you, reassuring you I am here.

The waiting isn’t stagnation when you are wrestling with Me. I would rather you wrestle with Me, want to push back against Me, in frustration or anger or fear, than turn your back and not engage all together.

Daughter, I want to engage. I love for you to tell Me what you think, how you are mad or hurt or frustrated or scared. I want to hear you cry out, see you reach for Me, look around, seeking to find Me so you can grab hold of Me—right here—and head into the arena where we can have it out.

I want to have all of you. You are not too much. You are not too much for Me to handle. And I am strong enough to hold you while you cling to Me, not sure if you want to hang on or let go.

Keep hanging on, girl.

No matter what, I am holding you the whole time.

Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

I Am With You On This Road

My daughter, you are no mistake. I made you with intention, I made you with your face in my mind, your voice in my ears. I made you with a name and with grace and with gifts only yours—your gifts my very gift to you. 

You are not made with a pressure to perform, with an expectation to achieve. You are not made with a heaviness to bear around your neck, a weight to carry, a weariness of long days one after another. 

I know the way with Me can feel hard. I know this road feels long. I am with you on the road, my dear. I am with you on this road.

Take steps now, where you can no longer see. Reach your hand out now, for I long to grab yours and hold tight. Lift those shoulders now; let me take that burden you carry. 

Can you see me taking it? Can you see my hands upon your shoulders, the weight being lifted off? Can you feel shackles being cut? Can you feel the things you can’t, with your eyes, see? 

I am for you, my child. And I do not ask you to go places where I will not be. Only go where I am. Even though you can’t see the next steps, I do. And I go ahead, and I know when the path is clear. 

Just follow Me, my daughter. I know this road, this one marked out for you. You have choices about where to go, whether to turn right or to turn left. But ask Me where I am. And trust I give you recognition for the One who made you, for the One who designed your heart, for the One who knows His daughter and the details of the road, for her, ahead. 

Scripture: Luke 8:15

Is This Where You Want to Be?

There is the uncovering now. I uncover you, lifting you up from the place where you are. Placing your feet on new soil. When you are placed in this new place, look for Me. I know you cry rescue. I know you cry peace. You crave slowing. You crave my hand upon your heart.

When you are replanted, notice the soil. Ask Me what it needs. I have designed you. And because I have designed you, you crave Me. Because I have designed you and planted you and watered you and adored you, your new place will have Me there. I will fill it up.

If you want Me to.

Would you ask me to? Would you ask Me to fill up the space where you are?

I have come for you, and I remind you how deep my love is, the height and depth of my love. I am the strength you crave, the energy you desire. I am healing. I am newness. Come, be planted and look around. Look at Me, where I am. And then . . . and then, I will show you what I see.

For where you are planted is where I want you to see. I want you to see with my eyes, my heart. I put you here to not stay a stump, a dry stalk stuck in cracked ground. I ask you if you want to be watered and fed and nourished with rich soil.

Do you?

I ask if you want to be fed with holy water, my life pouring in so it overflows. Drink of the stream, my daughter. Look where you are planted. See the richness I bring. You can’t see it unless you ask Me to give you my eyes, my heart. You won’t see the fertile ground.

Let Me show you.

See my hand?

May we go?

Scripture: Zephaniah 3:17

I’ve Written You a Love Song

I love to sit here with you. We can sit, side by side—you by my side. It is lovely here. Close your eyes. Let me show you what I see. . . . I usher you into my company. I invite you to spend this day with me. .  Right now, this moment. Stay here, where I am. . . Deep breath now, dear one. Oh, how you make me smile. You know you don’t have to try so hard to be loved by me. . . I’m not going anywhere. Remember, I love to stay here, with you.

Maybe this will be enough for today? Maybe sitting here, with Me, will be enough? Sometimes the quiet place where we go can’t be explained in words. Sometimes it is the place you know, deep within you, the picture I give you of where you most like to go, what you most like to do. It is the whisper most familiar, the love song so deep inside you you can easily not recognize it as the voice of Me singing. But I do. I love to sing over you, my dear.

Shall we stay here together, a little longer? Shall we wait together, your shoulder folded into my chest? Shall we rest? May I give you rest? It is time to slow now. It is time to stay close to Me. There is so much to do, I know. But is there? Do you trust your list of what needs to get done more than Me? It will not all get done. There will never be that perfect day to spend with Me. But this moment, this moment right here. 

Come close, my daughter. I miss the slowing. I miss the gentle rhythm of moving, my step, then yours, my leaning, then yours. Let this be the season of slowing, of sitting with me. Come, with anticipation. Come, with expectation. Come, with excitement. Come, with time to spend with Me. Come, with desire. Come, with surrender. Come, with longing. Come, with a seeking heart. 

Come to Me, and I will sit down too. And we will sit together, side by side, and we will enjoy this day together. You will be so close you will hear the sound of my breathing. You will watch the movement of my lips when I speak. You will know the color of my eyes . And you will know the feel of my skin as I hold your hand in my own.

Can we sit together now, my dear?

Scripture: Revelation 21:2

Your Wedding

My daughter, my delight, you don’t need to compare yourself to one single person. There is a wedding coming, a wedding where you are dressed completely, by my love. You are surrounded by my love. You walk deeper in my love. You are the bride I have chosen. You are the one chosen to marry the Groom who has come and broken His body for you, broken his heart for you, broken His complete self. This is so you may be ushered into the kingdom where celebration—singing and rejoicing—over the wedding of you, the bride, and my Son, the groom, await.

Can you see Him waiting for you? Can you see Him loving you so much that He died for you? 

You, my daughter, are complete, in Me. You, my daughter, are the one who doesn’t need to look different and act different or have more or less to be chosen, by Me. You are the one I have chosen. You are the one I want. I can’t take my eyes off of you, my dearest.

So, you ask Me, how do I protect your heart? How do you live in this world, one of comparison and envy and slander and thievery? How do you protect yourself from comparison when that is the culture in which you live and the wedding is around the corner but not yet a date you can perceive? How do you await my coming again, my Son’s rescuing you again, in a world of tearing each other down and pain?

Oh, my dear, look to Me. The only way to protect yourself is to regularly look into my eyes, see Me looking at you, see Me desiring you, see Me writing your name upon my heart and feeling sorrow when you believe you are not good enough to be desired as much as her, or her, or him.

Look to Me, look to the choice of my Son, as He kept His gaze on me. He practiced looking on Me, listening for Me, being away with Me. He removed himself from the world while remaining in it, too. It is possible for you, to remain close to Me and observe this world and be my daughter who desires to join Me in loving this world, while not being eaten up by the evil of it, too. 

Practice coming away with Me. Practice looking for Me. Practice recognizing my voice. Practice looking at this world through my eyes and seeing yourself the way I see you, with a name, and a purpose and a mission and a beauty all your own. There is no one person, not one daughter of mine, like you. Come closer now. My arms are wide open.

Scripture: Psalms 9:10

Let Me Come

My daughter, I am holy. I make everything holy. You have nothing to fear. I am bigger than every thought, every ache, every fear. I stand before you in the gap, between your belief and unbelief. I stand before you—your God, your rescuer, your redeemer. I stand before you and you are not forgotten. You are held. Always.

If you want Me, if you want more of Me in your life, I will come. I will not hold back. If you want my love, if you desire more freedom and joy in your life, ask Me to come. Let Me come to the deep places, the dark places, the unknown places. 

I know you. I know where in you I need to go. So trust Me. Trust Me. Let Me come. With Me I bring no fear. With Me I bring no sorrow. With Me I bring only hope and newness and life. I am life, for you, my love. With my love for you I bring life. I pursue you, and I will never let you go. 

So, come. Come. Ask Me to come. Ask Me to enter in. You hear Me. I am close. So close. And I love you. You are the one I love.

Scripture: Psalms 139:7-10

To Go Forward, It’s Time to Go Back 

Oh, restless one, I bring you peace now. These years go by, and I stay. These images in your memory, pages you flip through from the past, I make them beautiful. I show you beauty, and I want to show you more. 

You can’t change the past, no. But you can look at it differently. You can’t change those moments when you were little, when you were the little girl with the tender skin and pink lips you used to bite. You can’t change that time, the one that hurts so much. Or, that one, the one you say you’d give anything to rewrite. 

Oh, daughter, I want to show you what I see.

So, while the past can’t be rewritten, it can be made beautiful, even now, as you look back. I know what it means to not see one thing beautiful about a moment, to be filled with pain and sadness about circumstances. There are things that break my heart, too, you know. 

But I forgive—and I will help you know how to forgive, too: as you look back at the pages of moments you wished you could change, the people involved. And yourself, my love. I need you to forgive yourself. 

Let Me come for you like you need Me to. You can’t even know how much you need Me until you get a taste of what I have to offer you: healing for your heart, a past washed white. I make you clean, my daughter. I bend low and wash you clean with my very hands, my heart beating for you, my love. My grace covers you. My love covers you. My life restores you and makes all that you carry so light, so light. 

You are made to be free. You are made to see and live in the beauty of you I created. You are beauty because I made you, and you were not meant to live in fear and regret and sadness—especially about the past. Close the old book now. A new one is written for you. I have new pages to show you. The pages of your past are in this new book, with a fresh, clean cover, white pages, pressed new. 

And then turn the page.

There is so much more to write in this book, so many more stories and pictures to add. These pages are not flat; they are not one-dimensional. For you are in the story, my love. You are the story I am writing. You are the love I have made. You are the daughter who stirs my heart and who I have redeemed and who I show is worthy and beloved and whole. 

So, grasp hold of my hand. For the new book to be presented to you, you need to let Me take you back to the places where you haven’t let Me go with you before. You need to let Me show you the light in the dark places, the hope in the despair, the presence of Me in all the times you felt so hurt, so sad, so alone. 

And I will be holding your hand the whole time. 

The whole time.

I promise.