Infertility Encouragement from Sarah’s Laughter

Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 12:9, Ephesians 2:8-9

Sufficient Grace

Some days on the journey of infertility are easier than others. Some days you feel strong and are convinced that you’ll come through this trial stronger than ever. Tears are infrequent and you even find yourself encouraging another girl on the same journey.

Perhaps today is not that day. Today you fear you’ll crumble beneath the weight of an empty cradle. Throughout the frustration of even your hardest days, there is one powerful reality upon which you can rely: God’s amazing, all sufficient grace.

Whatever the specifics of your struggle, you can depend on the sufficiency of God’s grace to be enough for you. How amazing is grace! There is no struggle, no hardship, no holiday through which grace cannot sustain you. It is strong enough—real enough—to sustain you. It is made perfectly powerful in your weakness.

You may be thinking, “But I’m not a Super-Christian. I fail God way too much for Him to grant such grace to me. If you had heard how I’ve spoken to Him since I’ve dealt with infertility you’d understand.” Or perhaps you’ve not spoken to Him at all lately. You wonder if He’s finished with you, as well.

Friend, that’s the beauty of grace.

Grace is unmerited favor. If you had done anything to deserve it, it wouldn’t be grace. It’d be a paycheck. He knows you can’t earn His favor, so with a heart bursting with love for you, He grants His grace. Sufficient grace to get you through your first Mother’s Day without your twins, and what was supposed to be your due date. Strong enough to sustain you when your period starts again. Powerful enough to hold you together when you feel like you’ll fall apart because someone clueless said something innocent yet deeply hurtful. Enough to walk you through others’ baby shower invitations and pregnancy announcements.

God’s amazing all-sufficient grace. Sufficient for your hardest days. Sufficient for you.

Scriptures: Mark 16:15, Psalms 37:23, Ecclesiastes 3:11

Go

What if Mark 16 read this way:

“Go into all of cyberspace and preach the good news. Post blogs, tag your Facebook friends, compose your tweets, and post on instagram. Don’t stop until everyone in cyberspace has heard about the sacrifice I made on Calvary and can make the choice to follow Me!”

Can you imagine what Jesus’ disciples would have thought? Cyberspace? Facebook? Insta-what?

Jesus didn’t tell His disciples to use the internet to spread the Gospel because He knew that wasn’t His plan for them at their time in history. It would have been impossible for first century Christians to comprehend the technological world we live in today. Imagine the confusion if He had revealed this part of His plan too early.

Perhaps it’s that way with your desire to conceive. Today you may believe you could never fall in love with an adopted child. It may seem impossible to you. But what if God included adoption in His plan for you long before you even knew infertility would be a part of your vocabulary? You can’t understand how it would make sense. Kind of like how the disciples never could have understood Facebook. But God knows just how and when to reveal that part of His plan to you.

When you finally reach resolution with your infertility story, you can look back at today. The possibilities that make no sense today will make perfect sense tomorrow.

• “I never thought I’d be content with fewer children than I dreamed. But God made my family complete.”
• “It amazes me how much love I have for this child, though I never carried him in my womb. I didn’t really think I could fully love another person’s child like I love my son. God made it happen.”

Why didn’t God reveal His plan for technology to the Disciples? It wouldn’t have made any sense. It wasn’t time.

Why doesn’t God reveal His plan for your family to you? Maybe for the same reasons. Maybe it wouldn’t make sense yet. It’s just not time.

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30

Rest

The first of six alarms shattered the silence of my home at 3AM. It was time for vacation and we didn’t want to oversleep. We scurried around like ants on adrenaline and were out the door in record time.

Within a few hours we landed in New York City. We were model tourists. Smitten, we gazed at Lady Liberty, walked down Broadway with bulging shopping bags, wept at the 9/11 Memorial.

Then we heard a massive thud: the sound of us hitting the proverbial wall. We were exhausted. The swell of patriotic pride at the Statue of Liberty was nothing compared to the swelling of my ankles—and I’m convinced that my feet wanted a divorce from the rest of my body. We drug ourselves back to our hotel, shut out the lights from Times Square and bid the “City that Never Sleeps” an early Good Night.

Are you weary?

You’ve done all you know to do. You set alarms on your smartphone to remind you of ovulation day, and you’ve become more than familiar with the concept of “timed intercourse.” Your bathroom sink is cluttered with prescription bottles and syringes. You’ve struggled mightily to do what others have done effortlessly—or even by accident. But your heart has felt that thud. You are worn out. You simply don’t know how much more you can take.

Jesus knew life was hard. He knew there would be times when you’ve done all you can do and you just need a break. Perhaps it means taking a break from treatment for a month. Maybe it means spending time with your spouse when conception would be impossible and falling in love all over again. Or maybe the most refreshing thing you could do would be to devote time to Jesus and let Him strengthen, encourage, and revive you.

When we woke up in New York on the second day of our vacation, we woke up refreshed. We had snored and slobbered for hours, but we were rested. If you are tired and weary from the struggle with infertility, let Jesus refresh you. Let Him strengthen you for the remainder of your journey. Spend time with Him, and you will find that you are more ready to face what lies ahead.

Scripture: Romans 8:26-27

Praying for You

If you could ask anyone in the world to pray for you in regard to your infertility, who would you ask? Your pastor? A respected family member? A famous evangelist? Maybe you would choose a missionary who had led thousands of people to the Lord. What if you could go back in time? Hannah wept in endless hours of prayer over her own infertility; she’d surely know how to pray over yours. Would you ask the Apostle Paul to cry out to God on your behalf? What about John or Peter? After all, they walked with Christ. They would probably know just what to say to Him to really get His attention, wouldn’t they? If you could choose anyone from any time to pray for you in regard to your ability to have children, who would you choose?

Do you realize the Holy Spirit prays for you?

There are times when we simply do not know the right way to pray for ourselves. Perhaps we pray with our whole heart that God allows us to conceive, yet God’s perfect plan holds an adopted child. What if God wants us to conceive naturally, yet we pray for finances to pursue treatment? We think we know how we should pray, but we are human beings and our way of thinking can be flawed. God knows that you don’t always know exactly what to pray for, so the Holy Spirit intercedes on your behalf. The Holy Spirit is never mistaken, and He prays according to God’s perfect will for our lives.

Be encouraged today that the Holy Spirit cries out for you and your desire for a baby. God knows your need and the Holy Spirit intercedes on your behalf. Keep praying. Keep pouring your heart out to God yourself. Keep listening for His voice and His guidance. He can do amazing things through your infertility as the Holy Spirit Himself intercedes for you today.

Scriptures: Isaiah 53:3, Matthew 28:20, John 14:27

WWJB: Where Would Jesus Be?

What if Jesus walked the planet today as He did in Biblical times? What would He look like? What would He say to people? Where would he be? With buddies on camping trips? Volunteering at homeless shelters? Amazing His listeners at coffee shops?

I think we’d find Him in fertility clinic waiting rooms.

When Jesus clothed Himself in humanity, He was no stranger to hurting people. He was repeatedly drawn to the sick, the hurting, the ostracized. Whether healing a body wracked by pain, cooling a fevered brow, or calming fear in a troubled heart, He brought peace where none existed before. (Now can you see why He might have chosen a fertility clinic waiting room?)

Perhaps you have a doctor’s appointment today and are afraid. You don’t know what the doctor will tell you. You don’t know what the blood results will be. The future is a scary place when you look at it through fertility-tinted lenses. As you wait in the waiting room for your name to be called, listen as Jesus stands beside you whispering to your heart:

“My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”

Maybe there’s no doctor’s appointment today, but baby hunger has still wounded your heart, and you need the presence of the Savior in other places. Perhaps you need him at the office, the grocery store, or at the dinner table. If you’re hurting, He’s there. Hear Jesus, the friend who really is closer to you than a brother, as He reminds you, I am with you always. With you at work. With you at home. With you when you find out someone else is pregnant. With you when you find out you’re not. I am with you always. Jesus shows up wherever there are hurting people. He won’t leave you alone in your tears. He won’t leave you alone in your frustration. He won’t leave you.

So where would Jesus show up if He took on human form today? Right where you are.

And probably at an infertility clinic or two.

Scripture: 2 Kings 5:1-14

He Almost Missed His Miracle

War hero. Highly respected. Valiant soldier. Leper.

Naaman was all of these. He had fought battles for the king and won. Townspeople taught their children to be like Naaman—strong and brave. Until the day his skin began deteriorating. Unclean. Defeated. Diseased.

But there was hope! A prophet of God was found who could call on the Almighty for help: Elisha. Naaman gathered his chariots and finest horses, then—in a grand display worthy of the national hero he was—journeyed with his entourage to Elisha’s home.

Imagine Naaman’s surprise when Elisha wouldn’t even receive him. Instead, he sent a servant with a simple message: “Go wash in the Jordan River, and you’ll be cleansed.”

Naaman’s rage was as impressive as his military record. This prophet wouldn’t even come to the door? Scripture records his fury. “Naaman went away angry and said, ‘I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy.’ … So he turned and went off in a rage.”

Naaman, a man accustomed to command and control, almost missed his miracle because God—through the prophet Elisha—didn’t act religious enough. Because God’s plan didn’t conform to Naaman’s expectations, he was ready to reject it. It defied all logic. Can you imagine how thankful Naaman was for friends who convinced him—against sound logic—to trust God?

Has God’s plan for your life ever seemed out of line with the dreams you envisioned? How many times have you repeated Naaman’s words “But I thought…” Infertility is never part of the life story we pen for ourselves, but it certainly is part of God’s master plan for so many. When God doesn’t work the way you expect Him to, how do you respond?

Don’t give up on God’s plan for your family. Even if right now His plan seems as murky as the muddy waters of the Jordan River, find some way to trust Him again. Maybe His plan will unfold a little differently than you thought it would, but when it comes to pass, you’ll be grateful for His divine workings in your life.

Scripture: Hebrews 13:8

Having a Baby Changes Everything

You’ve seen them: those commercials that interrupt your favorite television program. Intimate glimpses into the blissful interactions of parent and infant. An awestruck toddler discovering the wonder of a frog. A bald, gurgling baby gleefully splashing as she is bathed in the kitchen sink. Yes, the voiceover on the commercial is correct: “Having a baby changes everything.”

Every time I hear that line, I also hear the anguished cry of more than two million infertile women: “Not having a baby changes everything, too!”

Infertility brings many life changes. Your dreams change. Your view of your future changes. Your plans change. Even your vacations change. After all, you can’t go rock climbing during that dreaded two week wait—just in case!

But there is one thing that will never change, even through the ups and downs of infertility. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

The same Jesus who wept with Mary and Martha when their hearts were broken, weeps with you as you stare brokenhearted at another negative pregnancy test. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

The same Jesus who wouldn’t let go of Peter’s hand when the storm raged on is the same Jesus who holds you tight every time someone else announces a pregnancy. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Through your changed dreams and plans, through the changing seasons of your infertility, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. He will remain forever steady and unchanging, even as the calendar changes from month to month and year to year.

Scripture: Ephesians 3:16-19

Loved

If infertility has caused you to feel unloved today, please join me on a visit to a dark, musty prison cell. Envision the writer of Ephesians, the apostle Paul, wrapped in chains, but more free than any of his captors. Hear his raspy voice, alive with passion, as he locks eyes with you, looking deep into the hurt your heart carries:

“I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Oh, hurting friend! I wish you could know how much God loves you. When you have cried out for a baby for so long, yet still not pregnant, it’s easy to think God has forgotten you. If the enemy whispers in your ear that God doesn’t love you, remember that he is the father of lies. If he—the father of lies—says you are unloved, that is proof positive that you are cherished and desired!

In a paradoxical way, God can even use your infertility to show you how much He loves you. The desire you have for a child is immense. You want nothing more than a child to love and nurture, and to see yourself in your child’s eyes. Your greatest wish is to provide for a child and teach her all the great lessons of life. God, your Father, has the same great desires for you, His child. He wants to have that same kind of relationship with you. He wants to love you, nurture you, and see Himself in you. He wants to provide for you and teach you. Can you see the parallels? Let these truths show you the love God has for you. You are loved and desired by God, just as a child of your own is loved and desired by your own heart, even before conception.

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 3:18-20, Jeremiah 32:17

The Ridiculousness of God

My 70-year-old mother and 80-year-old father—wrinkled and gray, aided by artificial knees and walkers—eased out of the elevator and resolutely toddled toward the fertility clinic.

Ridiculous? Yes. True story? Absolutely.

Mother had an appointment with a new doctor, and we weren’t quite sure where to find the office. So, when we stepped off the elevator, my parents confidently headed straight toward a fertility specialist.

Can you imagine the thoughts of the clinic staff? Or the patients? We all laughed as I pointed to the sign over the door. Before I steered them toward the much more appropriate office, my dad joked about popping in just to get checked out. He often boasted, “There may be snow on the rooftop, but there’s still fire in the furnace!”

If my parents truly intended to visit a fertility clinic, the specialist would have likely scheduled a psychiatric consult rather than a fertility work-up. It’s universally accepted that the idea of anyone as old as my parents trying to conceive is ridiculous, not to mention impossible.

Do you realize that Scripture tells of an even more ridiculous fertility story? Add 20 years and you have Sarah and Abraham. Sarah was 90 and Abraham was 100 when they became the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy. God performed the unheard of because He promised the unheard of. Oh, the ridiculousness of God.

Friend, God still does the ridiculous. When God decides to place life in a womb, it doesn’t matter if that womb is 22, 31, 37, or 42 years old. If God says there will be life, there will be life. PCOS, endometriosis, and low sperm counts are no match for the Creator of your body.

It’s ridiculous to believe that God would take a baby conceived on the other side of the world, and destine that child to call you Mommy. But if God calls it done, then prepare your nursery. It’s ridiculous to believe that God could help you survive months—even years—of waiting until His plans for you blossom at just the right time. But He does. I love the ridiculousness of God!

God is still able to do exceeding, abundantly above all you can ask or even begin to imagine. He is working and moving through your infertility story. Trust Him through the confusing days. And look for the ridiculousness of God!

Scriptures: 1 Chronicles 16:8-12, Psalms 77:11-12, Psalms 105:5

Pictures

I arrived early for an appointment the other day. To pass the time, I pulled out my smartphone and looked at some old photos.

As I looked at each picture, a story would flood my mind. “Wow! My brother-in-law turned fifty that day. He sure is getting old.” I started to chuckle. “Oh! There’s the house Mom & Dad decided not to buy. Glad they didn’t get that one.”

But then I realized: every picture represented an answered prayer. That 50-year-old brother-in-law? At 33 years old, the doctors told him to say goodbye to his family, because they said his heart wouldn’t last more than two more weeks. God said differently, and he’s alive and well today. The house my parents passed on? A hurricane recently blew its roof off, while the house God led them to—just one street over—was untouched.

Other photos held other testimonies. A loved one who survived brain surgery because the Great Physician was in the operating room with her. My husband’s photo reminded me of how sure I am that God brought us together for a lifetime. My blond haired sister surrounded by darling African faces because of the passion of the Great Commission. The beautiful face of a child born to an infertile mother because God opened her womb. All these reminders of answered prayers.

As you wait for a baby, why not look back over the things God has already done in your life? Go through the folders of your memories and envision the faces of those you love. How has God moved in their lives and in yours? What are the prayers He has beautifully answered? If you can’t think of what to thank God for while you wait for Him to work His plan for your family, do what I did. Go through your photos. Look at the faces of your family and friends. Tell God how grateful you are for His hand on their lives and on yours.

Before I knew it, I had scrolled through all of my pictures and found something to be grateful for in nearly every one. I turned off my phone, whispered a prayer of thanks, and still made it to my meeting on time.

Scriptures: Psalms 119:105, Jeremiah 29:13

The Word of God & a Flashlight

Have you ever walked through your home at night with the lights out? Familiar surroundings become a mystery. You can’t find your furniture until you fall over it. Ouch!

Eventually, you find a flashlight. Its light floods the space around you. Where do you shine it? It would be silly to try to use this flashlight to light up your entire home, or even a room on the other side of the house. You simply need it to show you where to take your next step. You don’t need to see what’s hidden underneath the bed in the guest bedroom. You just need to know where to place your foot so that you don’t stumble and fall.

God has promised that His Word will be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path. Infertility can be a very dark time in your life, filled with questions and very hurtful emotions. Why not search Scripture for God’s guidance? Jeremiah 29:13 says “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” There’s a little bit of light shining in the dark days when you don’t know what to do. Search for God, and He’ll be found by you.

This doesn’t mean that He will instantly reveal His entire plan to you, complete with all the details surrounding the resolution of your infertility story. Many struggling women have said, “If I just knew that God would give me a baby, I could get through the darkness of this night. I could hold up under the pressure if I knew for certain that at the end I’d have a baby.” Remember the flashlight? It gives just enough light for you to take the next step. Sometimes God does the same. He doesn’t reveal His entire plan to you. He illuminates your way enough for you to take the next step, to make the next decision, to get through the next day or the next hour. He knows you are traveling infertility’s journey. Through His Word, He will shine a light to this path and help you see His beautiful plan for you and your family.

Scriptures: Mark 6:1-6, Romans 10:17

Battling Doubt

As you struggle day after day with infertility, do you battle doubt? We ask God for the miracle of a child—yet feel doubt creep in before we mumble “amen.” Prayerful requests offered for good numbers on blood tests are drowned out by the fear of failed results—when despair takes the place of faith.

How do we battle these negative thoughts and truly conquer doubt?

Mark 6 gives us a glimpse into the earthly life of Jesus. We see Him teaching in the synagogue in His hometown. (Wouldn’t you love to sit under His teaching?) Rather than hang on His every word, however, His neighbors who watched Him grow up doubted Jesus. They could not—they would not—see Him as the Son of God. They saw nothing more than the charismatic son of that hard working carpenter down the road, and their disbelief had drastic consequences. “He could do no miracle there except that He laid hands on a few sick people and healed them.” (Mark 6:5) What amazing things could He have done in the absence of doubt?

How did Jesus respond to the peoples’ doubt? The answer is tucked right there at the end of this story. In Mark 6:6 you’ll see Jesus’ battle plan for conquering doubt: “And He wondered at their unbelief. And He was going around the villages teaching.” When Jesus came face to face with doubt in peoples’ hearts, He combatted their doubts by teaching them. What do you think He taught them? He didn’t teach them math or science; He taught them the Word of God!

If you are struggling with doubt in your journey through infertility, follow in Jesus’ footsteps and fight your doubt and disbelief by diving into the Word of God. The passages of Scripture you read are not merely words on a page. They are the living Word of God. Let it help you in your struggle with doubt as you deal with infertility.

Scripture: Matthew 10:29-31

Sparrows

While waiting on a friend for a lunch date, I was enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet. I noticed several little sparrows hopping along the ground in the empty parking space beside me. They would snatch some crumbs from the ground and fly into a nearby tree. Some would jump into the grass and then back to the ground for a tasty treat. A couple seemed to be in a competition of sorts, seeing who could gather the most bugs the fastest.

I was totally wrapped up in this little circus of feathered entertainers when the Lord brought a Scripture to my mind: Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31) In that moment, it really dawned on me how God watches over me. I may not see Him. I may not sense His presence. But He watches over me, protecting me, guiding me. Those little birds had no idea I was sitting in my car that day. They certainly didn’t know that I delighted in what they were doing. How could they? However, just because they didn’t understand didn’t make me vanish or change what I was doing.

Friend, God is intimately aware of the struggle you face with infertility. He knows every time your heart breaks over a failed cycle. If He cares enough about you to number the hairs on your head, don’t you know that He’s numbered how many negative pregnancy tests you’ve thrown away, and how many times you’ve had to sit through someone else’s baby shower? Even if you can’t sense His presence, He’s there. Your struggle matters. Heaven hasn’t turned a deaf ear to your cries for a child. He hears you. He’s watching and working on your behalf. You’re not in this struggle alone.

Scripture: 1 Samuel 1:27

For this child I Prayed…

Oh, how I wish there were video cameras in Hannah’s day. As much I love to read Hannah’s words, I would really love to watch her tell her story. I’d love to hear her make her petitions to the Almighty. I’d love to see her face when she told Eli the priest that she wasn’t drunk, but heartbroken. Most of all, I’d want to eavesdrop when she brought her God-sent son back to that same priest and dedicated him to the Lord. I’d ask you to watch that video today.

I’d ask you to fast forward to Hannah holding her precious baby boy in her arms, saying: “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted what I asked of Him…” I’d ask you to start over and watch it again. And again. “For this child I prayed…” I can’t help but believe if we could hear Hannah’s voice when she said these words, we might just hear her put her passionate emphasis on the word this. “For THIS child I prayed…”

The waiting is hard. You simply want a baby. You don’t care whether it’s a boy or a girl, or born at the perfect time of year. You just want a healthy baby. You cry out to God with everything in you to let this month be the month. Anybody who has ever gone through infertility would understand.

But listen to Hannah. “For this child I prayed.” What she didn’t realize all those years—as she was weeping and crying out to God for a baby—was that every tear and every prayer was for Samuel. For this child I prayed. It must have all come together the moment she saw his face. “Oh, I understand. It was for this child I prayed and waited. Not another! He was so worth it!”

If Hannah had conceived when she first desired a child, that child would not have been Samuel. There’s no way she could have realized the specific child she was praying for, but God knew. Similarly, God has a specific purpose and plan for your infertility. It is our prayer that one day, just as you have wept with Hannah, you will join with her in saying, “For this child I prayed, and God has granted what I asked of Him.”

Scriptures: Isaiah 55:8-12, Galatians 6:9

A Presidential Motorcade

You’ll never believe what happened.

A local news reporter excitedly announced that the President of the United States was visiting our fair city. Then I noticed where the reporter was standing: right down the road from my house! I felt an unexpected surge of patriotism, tinged with disbelief. Big news was right down the road, yet I was unaware of it.

Could this be happening in your infertility story? Maybe, just maybe, there are big things happening right down the road, and you don’t even know it. It can get hard to keep trusting God, to keep believing in His plan for your life and your family. You may not realize how He is working and moving you toward His beautifully designed dream for you, but that doesn’t thwart His plan. Although I didn’t know the President was just down the road, he was still there. God’s plans don’t depend on our awareness of them. You don’t have to know all the details of God’s plan for your life—or even know that He’s working—for His plan to be carried out.

For the safety and convenience of the Presidential motorcade, several roadways were closed for a long time during rush hour. Appointments were missed; travel plans were sabotaged. Many complained bitterly about the traffic standstill. Some understood what was happening; others were clueless; all were delayed.

Think about the delays on your infertility journey. Perhaps the setbacks you experience—lack of finances, medical complications, another “negative” month—are simply God’s way of protecting you. It doesn’t mean He’s forgotten you. It means He’s working.

Scripture encourages us to not lose heart. Keep doing good for the Lord. Keep serving Him. Keep believing in Him and His plan, even if you do not know what is happening. In due time, you’ll reap a harvest. A harvest of children? Maybe. A harvest of satisfaction? A harvest of peace? He is the Prince of Peace, you know. You never know what blessings are just down the road.

Scriptures: Proverbs 31:10-11, Luke 1:5-6, James 2:23

Supporting Your Husband Through Male Factor Infertility

What is it like for a man who suffers from infertility? A woman can bear her soul to her friends and her sisters. How does a man cope when he cannot impregnate his wife?

Look at a couple of men in Scripture who had to trust God for children: Abraham and Zacharias. To be clear, no male factor infertility is indicated in these stories; however, both men felt the angst and grief associated with infertility.

God called Abraham his friend. What an honor! Zacharias was upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly. Did God see them as less worthy men because they didn’t have spit up stains on their robes? Not at all. They were men upon whom He chose to build the foundations of the church. Abraham would be the father of nations and through him all people would be blessed. Zacharias would raise the forerunner of the Messiah. Yet, at one time, each of these men were one half of an infertile couple. God saw unimaginable worth in these men. He saw past infertility’s influence on their lives, and saw what He could make of them.

If your husband suffers from male factor infertility, why not make today about him? Chances are, if you are blessed with friends or family who understand your struggle to conceive, they offer support to you far more than to your husband. Remind your husband why you love him. When you first met him and fell in love with him, what was it about him that made your heart skip a beat? I’ll bet it wasn’t his sperm count! Did the dimple in his chin make your knees go weak? Tell him. Were you gushing like a school girl over the way he sang off-key on a walk to the park? Take another walk today and reminisce. Help him realize that fathering a child is not the only thing you want him for. Remind him how manly he is to you. As you support and encourage him, you may just find your own burden lifting.

An excellent husband, who can find?

For his worth is far above jewels, no matter his fertility.

The heart of his wife trusts in him,

And she will have no lack of gain.

Scriptures: Matthew 11:28, Psalms 147:3, Psalms 40:1-3, Psalms 121:1-3

Come to Me, Sadie!

My nephew is an avid golfer. After a busy week, John-Paul relaxes by hitting golf balls in his back yard. He doesn’t unwind alone. Sadie, a six pound Yorkshire Terrier, chases and retrieves the golf balls that John-Paul scatters across the yard.

One evening, however, there was a terrible accident. Just as John-Paul swung at the ball, Sadie leapt into the path of the golf club. Before John-Paul realized what was happening, he smacked Sadie right between the eyes. Sadie yelped and reeled away, dazed and confused. John-Paul tried to scoop her up and help her, but Sadie—hurting and scared—ran away from the only one able to help. John-Paul followed her, repeating, “Come to me, Sadie. Come to me.” She eventually hid under the bed and refused to come out. Imagine this tall, athletic, young man wedged completely under a bed with only his feet sticking out: sweet-talking a terrified, whimpering Yorkie.

When life throws a problem at us, we often react in one of two ways: we either run to God, or we turn away from Him. When we face the pain that infertility can bring, we can act a little like Sadie. We don’t understand what is happening to us; we only understand that we hurt. Tragically, we often run away from the only One who can soothe our hearts and heal our hurts.

Sadie hid under the bed, bruised and confused, unsure whether John-Paul represented help or hurt. Have you turned away from your Heavenly Father in the midst of your pain? When frustration and hurt are your constant companions—and you cannot understand how the One who allowed infertility to enter your life could possibly be the one to provide your healing—do you hide under the proverbial bed?

When you are hurting and tired of the constant struggle of infertility, and you don’t know what to believe or believe in, remind yourself of Sadie. Come out from under the bed, and run to God. Let Him soothe your hurts and provide rest for your soul.

(Although Sadie felt sorry for herself for a while, she made a full recovery.)

Scriptures: Psalms 63:6-8, Psalms 77:12, Romans 2:11

Worry Versus Meditation

When was the last time worry kept you awake at night? What was the weight bearing down on you? Fear over the latest diagnosis from your fertility specialist? The calendar pages that continue to turn? With every repetition, the root of fear digs deeper in our hearts. “Where are we going to find the money for another IUI? What if we can’t go through with the procedure next month—and that is THE month?”

Every time we worry, every time we rehearse the dread, the disaster we fear becomes a little more real in our mind. “What if we don’t ever get pregnant? What if? What if? WHAT IF?”

If you know how to worry, you know how to meditate. Rather than worry over the stresses of infertility, meditate on the wonders that God has done. Recall the things you’ve seen Him do in your life. Go through Scripture and be amazed all over again at what He has done for others. Read the numerous infertility stories and meditate on how He has triumphed over barrenness again and again. Remind yourself that nothing is impossible for God, and that He doesn’t show favoritism. If He did it for people in Biblical days, He can do it for you.

The same way we wrap ourselves in worry over our fertility, we can meditate on God and His authority over the struggles we face. Become engrossed in a favorite story or miracle from the Bible. Let it become real in your heart and mind. Overcome your infertility worries by meditating on the goodness of God and His mighty deeds.

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Blurry

My father loved being a pastor for more than 50 years. One day he received a phone call from his next door neighbor, laughing hysterically. Her 6 year old son had come running wide-eyed to her and breathlessly exclaimed, “Mom! Pastor is mowing his grass with no clothes on!”

Knowing that her pastor was not outside mowing his grass with no clothes on, this confused mom quickly went to her window. There was Pastor innocently taking care of his lawn as anyone else would—fully clothed. Why would her son think the Pastor had lost his mind—and his attire? She looked at her confused and upset son, and noticed something she hadn’t noticed before: he was squinting. When she looked back out the window, she realized Pastor had on tan colored clothing. Then it dawned on her: her son needed glasses! His vision had become blurry. What a mistake to make because a child’s vision was out of focus!

Has infertility caused your heart to become blurry? It is so easy to focus on nothing but having a baby that you lose sight of relationships that are precious to you. We can’t see all the wonderful things we love about our spouse. We only see negative pregnancy tests. When you want a baby so badly, and that desire is delayed, it can be easy to obsess on sperm counts and ovulation days—and forget how much you really do love that goofy sense of humor or the cute dimple in your sweetheart’s chin. Infertility has caused our vision to be out of focus.

If your vision has become blurry, I challenge you today to focus on your relationship. Choose a day when you know conception is impossible, there are no doctor’s appointments, and when you are certain that you will not ovulate. Recreate your first date, or perhaps the day you got engaged. Go back to the days when you didn’t know infertility would be your constant companion. Focus on what it was that drew you to each other. Find whatever it was that God thought was such a good idea that He put the two of you together. Enjoy each other completely for a day, and set your focus to let each other feel loved.

(And one more thing: when working in your yard—wear brightly colored clothing!)

Scriptures: Genesis 12:1-4, Genesis 21:1-5, Daniel 6:1-28

Anyway God & Anyway Faith

I never thought I’d face infertility. God gave me the desire for a baby anyway. I wish He’d either let me get pregnant or take the desire away!

Sound familiar?

Why would God place such an intense desire in your heart, yet withhold the fulfillment of that desire from you? He knew you would struggle every day with your unmet desire for motherhood and the physical reality of childlessness, yet He allowed infertility to be a part of His plan for your life anyway.

Our God is an Anyway God. On the surface, His plan may seem to contradict itself. Giving an infertile woman an intense desire to have a baby seems contradictory, doesn’t it? However, if you will serve God with an Anyway Faith, you’ll see that God works through confusing situations in ways you never could have expected.

Consider two people in the Bible who served our Anyway God with Anyway Faith:

Abraham

75 year old Abraham was promised a child. The Anyway God knew how old Abraham was—but still said a baby would come. Abraham faced his 80th birthday, his 85th birthday, his 90th birthday, and still no baby. Yet, Abraham chose to believe God anyway. Abraham’s Anyway Faith collided with our Anyway God and Isaac was born.

Daniel

Daniel knew that King Darius had signed a law demanding that if anyone prayed to any god or man besides himself, that person would be thrown into a den of lions. Daniel, full of Anyway Faith, went to the roof of his house and prayed anyway. What happened when Daniel trusted His Anyway God with Anyway Faith? The Bible says that King Darius wrote a letter to all the peoples, nations and people of every language throughout the vast empire: “May your peace abound! I make a decree that in all the dominion of my kingdom men are to fear and tremble before the God of Daniel!”

If you have questions about your Anyway God’s plan for your life—because He included infertility in His plan for you anyway—I pray that you will trust Him anyway. Love Him anyway. Serve Him anyway. You’ll find that He has blessings in store for you…anyway!

Scripture: Daniel 10:1-21

Day 21

Daniel served God faithfully when it was easy, and when it was not. He and his friends stood out as being brilliant, exceptional servants who were placed in positions of honor and authority. It should have been easy for Daniel to get a prayer through to Heaven, right? Say a prayer, wait a few seconds, and presto! There’s your answered prayer right in front of you! Right?

Wrong!

Daniel 10 reveals a terrifying event in Daniel’s life. God pulled back the curtains of Heaven and revealed a vision to Daniel that no one else was permitted to see. The men who were with him were overcome with such fear that they ran away and hid—and they didn’t even see the vision. Daniel did not eat for three weeks while he sought God for answers. Prayer after prayer was offered, yet no answer came. He must have sought God with such fervency, yet the Heavens remained silent. Did God really hear his prayers?

21 days after the vision, Daniel had a visitor. An angel appeared to Daniel to encourage him. He told him that from the very first day Daniel uttered the first prayer about the vision, his prayers were heard. God saw every frustration, counted every tear. The angel told Daniel of a war in the heavenly realm where battle was going on on his behalf, and that the warriors of God had prevailed.

Daniel kept praying.

Heavenly warriors kept fighting on Daniel’s behalf.

Victory was won.

Daniel prayed the entire 21 days. What if Daniel had stopped praying on day 20? What if he had stopped praying on day 14 or day 3? What if Daniel let what he could see with his eyes determine what he believed in his heart?

Don’t give up the battle you wage against infertility. Who knows the victory God will bring into your life if you’ll just keep praying through the entirety of the battle? Victory may be ushered into your heart on wings of peace, through adoption, or the miracle of birth. He never runs out of options. He never runs out of ideas. However victory comes, don’t stop. Keep being faithful. Keep trusting. Pray and seek God even on the days you can’t hear His voice telling you what to do. Don’t give up on His plan for your family.

Maybe, just maybe, today is your day 21.

Scriptures: Romans 8:35, Romans 8:38-39

Not Alone

Feeling alone in your infertility today? Does it seem that no one comprehends the depth of sorrow you carry? Your family loves you, but they’ve never been where you are—so they don’t quite “get it.” When a friend implores you to just relax—as she bounces her crying baby on her knee—it’s unrealistic to think that she’s in the fight with you. Little by little, you feel that chasm between you and the fertile world grow a little wider every day.

Friend, be encouraged today that nothing—not even infertility—can separate you from the love of Christ. No experience—no hurt, no sin, no problem—can make Him see you as a lost cause and walk away.

In today’s reading, the Apostle Paul passionately describes God’s love for us. Nothing natural or supernatural can separate us from God’s love—including infertility. I’m not asking you to change Scripture, but look at today’s passage through the lens of infertility. Let it encourage you. Make it a declaration, something like:

Will infertility separate me from the love of Christ? Will endometriosis or low sperm counts, or the distress I feel when I start another period? Will the hurtful misunderstandings from family and friends? Will baby hunger be enough to separate me from His love? Will the lack I feel when my body doesn’t do what it was designed to do cause Him to give up on me? If my future is uncertain, or if I face more and more medical treatments in my quest to conceive, is that enough to separate me from the love of my Savior?

No! I am convinced that neither miscarriage or even pregnancy, neither kind encouragements or hurtful words, neither the daily struggle I face now or the uncertainty of my future, neither the highs of a good doctor’s report or the lows of another negative pregnancy test, not even seeing another pregnant woman will be able to separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!

Infertility can do a lot of things in your life. It can drain your bank account and strain your relationships. It can draw you and your husband close or drive you apart. But it cannot — it will not — separate you from the love that God has for you. Nothing—not even infertility—is powerful enough to do that.

Scripture: Psalms 46:1

Refuge

When I was a teenager, I lived in the Midwest where sudden tornados and violent storms were frequent. It was not uncommon for a calm, beautiful sky to suddenly turn dark, and sirens begin to sound, warning area residents of coming danger. Mama would stop what she was doing and guide me down the stairs to find safety in the basement of our home. When the storm had passed, we would go outside to see what damage the storms had caused. I remember walking through our neighborhood once and seeing the roof of someone’s home lying in the middle of the street. Even though the storm had ravaged our neighborhood, my family was spared. We found refuge in safety of a storm cellar.

Infertility can be a lot like the storms I knew as a teenager. We have good days, and good doctor’s reports, and we feel we can make it through another month with heads held high. Then come the dark days. We are coping well with our situation when suddenly we are informed of not one or two friends who have conceived, but three or four. Storm clouds are on the horizon and thunder begins to roll. We need a refuge to protect us from the tempest that pounds our hearts when a pregnancy is once again delayed. Where can we go to find rest and protection when our minds and emotions need a break from the constant barrage of setbacks in our quest for parenthood?

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. If your heart feels troubled by negative pregnancy tests, or expensive procedures your bank account can’t cover, and you just need a place to hide until you can gather your strength again, find refuge in God. You don’t have to worry about Him being absent when you need Him. Scripture promises you He is an ever-present help in trouble. Never on vacation. Never too busy to hear your call for help. You don’t have to justify why you need refuge. It doesn’t matter if the reason you fell apart doesn’t make sense to anyone else. If you need a place to hide while you recharge your emotional batteries, God invites you to come to Him and find that hiding place during the storm of infertility.

Scriptures: 2 Chronicles 14:2, 2 Chronicles 14:8-15

Numbers

Numbers matter in the battle to conceive a child. We circle numbers on calendars as we wait for the day of a pregnancy test. A husband’s virility is presumably measured by the number on his sperm count. Nerves are frayed until we get past a certain number of weeks that remind us of the last miscarriage. The number of candles on your birthday cake bring tears and dread.

Do you realize that numbers have never intimidated God? There has never been a moment in all of time and eternity that God has scratched His holy head and tried to make the numbers work. In 2 Chronicles, King Asa was facing a massive army of a million men. He and his brave fighting men were outnumbered, overpowered and were facing certain defeat. Asa did the smartest thing he ever could have done when facing an impossible situation: He called on the Name of the Lord.

God didn’t worry about a million warriors on the battlefield in King Asa’s time. He doesn’t worry about low sperm counts or erratic hormone levels in your time. He is the God who can conquer whatever foe you face, and He can do it despite the numbers involved.

When you pray about your battle with infertility, don’t forget that God isn’t scared of your numbers. Why not use King Asa’s prayer as an example? You can include your own situations and pray with the same faith this godly man used when he was outnumbered and overwhelmed. God came through for him, and He’ll come through for you.

“Lord, there is no one beside You to help in this battle. Infertility (or endometriosis, unexplained infertility, PCOS, miscarriage grief) is a powerful foe and I feel I have no strength (or money, or treatment options) to fight it this month (or today, right now, anymore); so help us O Lord our God, for we (or I—if you have an unbelieving spouse)trust in You, and in Your name have come against this disease (or financial difficulty, discouragement, lack of agreement between us, indecision). O Lord, You are our God. Let not infertility (or loss, grief, discouragement) prevail against You.”

Amen!

Scripture: James 1:5-6

God, I Need Wisdom!

When we come face to face with infertility, there are mountains of decisions that must be made. Questions bombard us with unyielding tenacity, and each demands an answer. Do we seek treatment? If so, how do we pay for it? How far will we go? Should we consider adoption? Is this God’s will for our lives? Is this God’s way of telling us to stop? Each decision must be weighed carefully, for the outcome could have eternal ramifications. How do we make the right decision?

Who understands our past, our present and our future better than God? We seek answers from doctors, from support groups, from family members and friends, and that is all well and good. But when we face the difficult decisions of infertility, don’t forget to cry out to God for His wisdom in knowing what to do.

Can you imagine if you asked your friend for a dollar and you got this response:

“I’ll loan you this dollar, you lazy, good-for-nothing moron! It’s amazing that you’re not smart enough to get a job good enough to provide for your family so you have to come to me. What a loser!”

I’ll bet you wouldn’t ask her for anything else any time soon. How wonderful that God doesn’t respond this way when we ask for His wisdom. He doesn’t answer our request with: “You sorry, worthless servant. I knew you’d never figure this out on your own. When will you ever learn?” No. God grants us His wisdom generously and without reproach. I believe it thrills the heart of God when we approach Him and lean on His wisdom for small decisions as well as the life changing ones.

The only requirement God lays on us is that we must ask for His wisdom in full faith. Believe that He is who He says He is, and that He will do what He says He will do. Consider a beach ball that gets caught in the waves on the beach. It gets slung around with every wave and every wind. God says that when we doubt, we’re just like that beach ball. We must believe when we ask God for wisdom. Our faith must stay strong even when He chooses to move in ways we cannot understand. When we approach God with unwavering faith, He promises His wisdom in our lives.

Scripture: Matthew 6:6-8

God Knows

Does anyone seriously think infertility is purely physical? We can endure medical tests far easier than emotional trials. When we start another period, just as another friend joyfully announces another pregnancy, words fail to describe the raging conflict in our heart. We want to be happy for her, but we can’t get past the broken pieces of our own shattered heart to find a way to congratulate her. How can we approach God with such hurt, when we can’t even put words to the intensity of our feelings?

Jesus was a magnificent teacher. One day, surrounded by a huge crowd of people, He went up on a mountainside, sat down, and taught them—among other things—how to pray. He told them that they didn’t need to keep repeating themselves. There was no need for empty, vain repetitions and meaningless phrases just so others could hear them pray. Imagine their relief when Jesus said to them, “Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” No need to come up with just the right phrase. No need for eloquent speech, or the proper description. There’s no pressure of having to make God fully understand. He told them that God already knew their need. God knew.

The same Jesus who sat on the mountainside two thousand years ago sits beside you now. He loves you, and says to you, “Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” He knows how much you need someone to understand your frustration when your period starts. He knows how much you need wisdom to decide on the next step in treatment. He knows before you ask Him. He knew that you’d need encouragement before you did. He knew that you had a problem with fertility before you did. He knew you would need encouragement in that area of your life—and included the stories of Hannah, Sarah, and Elizabeth in His Word. He knows what you need, and He knows the answers to your problem. He walks before you and prepares the way.

God knows.

Scriptures: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Hebrews 4:12

When the Bible Does Not Work

My dad was sick with a nasty bout of bronchitis. We expected a timely recovery after a doctor prescribed antibiotics, but days later there was no improvement. We saw a physician. A diagnosis was made. We bought the prescribed medicine. Why was my dad still sick?

The answer was simple: he wasn’t taking his medicine. No matter how powerful those antibiotics were, they didn’t help my dad until he opened the bottle and swallowed the pills, allowing them to do what they were designed to do. Medicine simply doesn’t work when it remains unopened on a bathroom counter; it must be ingested.

Sort of like your Bible, huh?

The Word of God is powerful. Within its pages are true accounts of real couples who struggled with infertility and had miracle babies, and of heart-broken parents who survived the deaths of precious children. There are promises of peace, sweet sleep, and healing. The truths of the Bible sound phenomenal. So why wouldn’t the Bible work for you?

Like the medicine in my dad’s bathroom, the Bible will not work if it remains unopened. You can go to church—just like we went to the doctor. You can download every translation this app offers—just like we got all the prescriptions filled. However, until you ingest that precious Word, take it inside of you and allow it to become a living part of you, the words on its pages will do you no good. An unopened Bible is just like an unopened bottle of medicine.

Oh, but friend—the Bible is far more powerful than any medicine, or any substance on earth. It will correct you when you err. It will judge the attitudes of your heart. That’s a sobering thought. But you need it, for example, if you catch yourself resenting fertile friends. That’s when you open the Bible for direction, so you can deal with that attitude. See what the Bible says about it; do a search inside this app. Your God-breathed prescription is here at your fingertips. There is no problem in this life you will face—not even infertility—that the Bible cannot help.

As for my dad, once he took the medicine, it worked and his condition improved.

The Bible works wonders when we ingest it. Why not open it right now?

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:12

Peering Into Limousines

I admit it: I’m nosy. My husband says I get “a look” when I eavesdrop on people in public. It drives me to distraction when I get a glimpse of a thing but can’t see all of it. For example: limousines with darkened windows. I know there has to be someone interesting inside—probably a famous celebrity; I just can’t see them. I speed up or slow down to get a peek, but no matter how hard I strain to see what this glamorous vehicle carries, I cannot see through the darkened glass.

Kind of like infertility.

It would be so much easier to live under the weight of infertility if we knew why. Why does God allow my heart to be ripped apart every time I see someone else with a pregnant belly or spit-up stains on their shoulder? Why do so many of my friends have baby showers while I have appointments with fertility specialists? Why can’t I see His hand in my life? Why can’t I see His plan?

For now we see through a glass, darkly. It’s easy to assume that the vehicle of our lives is empty—with no great treasure inside. We have only a glimpse, only part of the story. We know that at least for a time we cannot conceive. We know we beg and plead for a baby, still God’s silent answer of “no” thunders in our ears.

God knows it’s hard to see only part of His plan. He knows it’s tough to merely eavesdrop on heavenly conversations when you’d rather hear God’s every word about your life. But hang on! We know in part for now, but one day we will know fully.

If we knew every aspect of God’s plan, would faith be necessary? Or trust? If we knew fully now, would we still peer into the Scriptures, or listen for the voice of God? If you knew everything that was going to happen, would you still pray?

One day, you’ll know fully. Until then, keep eavesdropping on Heaven’s conversations. Peer into the darkened windows. Know that one day, the window will roll down. You’ll finally see the treasure God placed inside of your life through the vehicle of infertility.

Scriptures: John 10:10, Philippians 4:4, Psalms 16:11, Romans 15:13, Nehemiah 8:10

Choices

Once you discover that your desired pregnancy will be delayed, amazing things happen. Pregnant women show up everywhere you look. You’ll begin to notice comments you’ve never paid attention to before:

“I just think about my husband and the morning sickness starts.”

“You’re lucky you don’t have kids.”

When you realize that you aren’t quite as fertile as the other branches of your family tree, you’ll find out within one weekend that your best friend, your co-worker, and your sister-in-law are all pregnant. Everyone is pregnant. Everyone but you.

As you stand face-to-face with the issue of infertility, many choices are ripped away from you. The choice of when to have children, perhaps the choice of how many children to have, the choice of keeping your problem private.

Do we consult a doctor?

How far do we go with treatment?

What do we give up to pay for medical treatment?

Do we adopt?

However, there is a crucial area where you do have a choice. You can choose joy, or choose to allow infertility to dictate your mindset and attitude. Christ came that we may have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10). We’re told in Philippians 4:4 to rejoice, and the writer is so adamant about it that he repeats himself: “Again, I say rejoice!”

Does this mean that you should never cry or feel down? Absolutely not. Our Savior was a man full of emotions and the Bible even says He was acquainted with grief and bore our sorrows (Isaiah 53:4). It does mean that you can choose to let Christ carry those sorrows, and choose the joy that runs deeper than simple situational happiness. Peace so strong that it doesn’t make sense is yours for the taking. You can choose to accept the offer of abundant life provided by Jesus Christ Himself, or choose a life of despondency, jealousy and discouragement.

Easy? Not always. But the choice, my friend, is yours.

Scriptures: Psalms 30:5, Ecclesiastes 3:1, Ecclesiastes 3:4

It Came To Pass…

Four hundred fifty-two.

That’s how many times the phrase it came to pass appears in the King James Version of the Bible. Do you realize there is great comfort for you in this phrase: it came to pass? Today, it might seem as if your life will consist of nothing more than infertility. You probably believe that for the next 60 years you will know your basal body temperature and exactly how many days has passed since the beginning of your last menstrual cycle. The desire for a child consumes your every waking thought and most of your slumber, and it is almost unimaginable to consider a day when you can face a day without the sting of baby hunger. It came to pass…

Infertility is a season in your life. This difficult, hurtful time will not last forever. It has come into your story, and it will pass into your history. God has allowed it to come into your life for a purpose. It will be part of what has made you into the amazing woman or man you are. But, believe it or not, infertility is not terminal. It’s hard to see the end of infertility’s story—if you are watching for the results of a blood test, or trying to decide on the next step.

If infertility has brought you frustration and tears, remember that it is a season in your life. Seasons come and go. Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. Realize, friend, that God also has an appointed time for joy in your life. There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.

It will not always be as hard as it is today. It came to pass… It has come into your life, but it will pass. God can use infertility in ways you never dreamed possible to reach you, and teach you, and show you amazing things about Himself. But it has come to pass. This may be your time for weeping, but your time for laughing is coming. You may even be in a season of mourning, but you will dance again.

It came to pass!

Scriptures: Matthew 9:36, Matthew 11:28, 1 Peter 5:7

YEE-OUCH!!!!

If you touch the red hot heating element of your oven with your bare skin, it doesn’t take long for your flesh to cook completely! While my hungry husband looked on, I reached into the oven to pull out a bubbly, cheesy pizza, but instead roared out in pain—and dropped the pizza! In a nanosecond, the top of my middle finger grazed the heating element and pain sensors raced from my finger to my brain and back again at least a bazillion times. I dropped my spatula, began spinning around like a hippopotamus attempting ballet, and grabbed the nearest bottle of aloe I could find. For the rest of the night, I pampered my right hand in an effort to make the hurt go away.

There’s been a difference in small things since I burned my hand. Before The Pizza Incident, it didn’t hurt to wash my hands. Since the burn, I’ve washed my hands cautiously because the burned area is so sensitive. I’m not using my hand the same as I did before I got hurt—much like your heart since you learned having a baby would not be easy.

There was a difference in your heart before infertility made an entrance into your life. Before baby hunger set in, it didn’t hurt to see pregnant women and newborns. When you thought it would be fun to try to conceive, the thought of baby showers was exciting; now it’s excruciating. People say things to you that went unnoticed before; now their words rip your super-sensitive heart out. There are some people and some relationships you feel you cannot enjoy now. Perhaps you can rekindle them when infertility is a part of your past, but not now. It just hurts too much since infertility has become your heart’s companion.

When I burned my finger, I reached for a bottle of aloe vera. It soothed the burn and allowed healing to begin. When your heart hurts because someone else has announced the arrival of a healthy baby on the anniversary of your miscarriage, reach for the One who holds the healing balm for your heart. Jesus knows when your heart cannot carry the burden of hurt any more and invites you to cast your heavy cares on Him.

Scriptures: Proverbs 25:11, Isaiah 45:3

Hidden Treasures

I have a secret: my husband’s birthday gift has been on our kitchen counter for two weeks, and he doesn’t realize it. The gift is wrapped in a beautiful, decorative box. My husband thinks it’s just another piece of decor that only women understand. He stands within inches of his present and reads the mail. He nudges it slightly to make room for his laptop. I have to admit: being a little sneaky and leaving hidden treasures for my beloved makes me smile.

Do you realize that God has hidden treasures all around you today? He understands that infertility can take a toll on your heart, so He gives you an extra measure of love. He may not have placed these treasures in brightly colored boxes on your kitchen countertop, but they are hiding in plain sight.

Where are these riches hidden? Perhaps God used a phone call from a friend: she called to check on you after an important doctor’s appointment, and her thoughtfulness spoke volumes. Remember that sermon that encouraged you? Maybe God placed those words in your pastor’s heart just for you. Perhaps you’ve considered such encounters as mere coincidence. I see them as hidden gifts from God to help us on our infertility journey.

As women who want to get pregnant, we are absolute professionals at looking for signs. Every time we are in the midst of a two-week wait between ovulation day and day 28, we look for signs of pregnancy.

Could that twinge mean anything?

I don’t feel well today. Could that be morning sickness?

And, like a photographer with a high-powered lens scanning the horizon, we miss what’s right in front of us. These treasures aren’t truly hiding; they’re simply out of focus. Why not refocus this watchfulness, and look for treasures that are hiding in plain sight? God is offering you extra encouragement today; do you see it?

God loves you. He’s passionate about you. He wants you to see His love for you. And when you find His gifts of love, I believe He smiles.

Scriptures: Matthew 6:25-34, 1 Peter 5:7

Cast Your Cares

I want you to do something. Find a piece of paper and a pen. Now write down all the anxieties that infertility has caused you. When you’re finished, wad that list up into a ball. Now here’s your assignment for the day: take the wadded up list of all your anxieties that you hold in your hand and throw it! (Please don’t throw it at anybody—even if they’ve recently told you to “relax” or griped about how little sleep they’re getting since the baby came.) Just throw it at a blank wall, out your front door or in a trash can. Just throw it away.

When you threw the wadded up list away what happened? Were you able to hold on to it and throw it away at the same time? Of course not! When you threw the paper you had to release it, to let it go. You cannot throw that ball of paper away and hang on to it at the same time. It’s simply amazing theology!

You see, 1 Peter 5:7 instructs us to take our anxieties and throw them on Christ, much as you threw your wadded up list of all the anxieties infertility has caused you. When you threw that ball of paper away, you pulled your arm back and tossed the ball away, releasing it from your hand. Why not view your anxieties about infertility the same way? Cast them all on Jesus Christ. When you cast your cares on Him, wad them up, pull your arm back and toss them on Him, releasing them from your hand.

Release your fear of a life without children and cast that anxiety on Jesus, who cares for you. Release the worry of finances and cast it on the One who put tax money in a fish’s mouth. Release the anxiety of another diagnosis and cast it on the Great Physician. Release the fear of another miscarriage and cast it on the Giver of life. Cast all your cares and anxieties on Him, for He cares for you. Release them from your hand, and cast them into His.

Scripture: 2 Kings 4:8-37

It is Well

She was covered in dust and sweat. Her worst day had dawned and the urgency in the air was palpable. The prophet’s servant, knowing her visit on this day was unusual, rushed out to meet her. “What is it? Is everything okay? Your husband? Your son?”

With the images of her son’s lifeless body flashing through her mind, the Shunammite woman boldly proclaimed, “It is well.”

**********

The story of the Shunammite Woman is tucked away inside 2 Kings 4. She and her husband were childless until God touched them and granted them the gift of a son. When the child was grown, the Bible tells us, he began to experience great pain in his head while working in the fields, and eventually died in his mother’s arms.

The faith of this mother is startling. Her child is dead, but her faith is not. When she stands toe to toe with the greatest heartache of her life, she boldly proclaims: “It is well.” She was believing God—who gave her this son—to give life to him one more time. It is well. She had no proof of the miracle she was believing God for, but she knew deep inside that God was neither intimidated by her need—nor the size of the miracle needed. This mother could boldly face her worst day and say “It is well.”

Do you realize that the God you serve is no more intimidated by your situation than He was by the death of the Shunammite woman’s son? Your infertility doesn’t startle Him. Your previous miscarriages don’t make Him wonder if He can sustain your next pregnancy. Just like the Shunammite woman, you can stand in the rubble of your current situation and boldly proclaim “It is well!” God is not afraid of your diagnosis, or lack of diagnoses. He has never been confused by what you face. While you wait on a positive pregnancy test, or the funding to start your adoption, declare that “It is well.” While you pray for the clarity of God’s plan for your lives and you wait to hear from Him before you make the next steps, as an act of faith in a God not bound by time, say over and over again: “It is well.”

Scriptures: Proverbs 16:9, Psalms 139:16

The Young Man was so in Love with His Beau…

After a long day, my husband and I wanted to relax and order a movie at home. So we scanned our choices, one by one, seeing only the film title, the film poster, and the first line of the the synopsis.

One in particular caught my eye:

“The young man was so in love with his beau…”

I had seen this movie before. It was a sweet comedy about a man and his new wife. What was going on here?

Then it hit me. I couldn’t see the end of the synopsis. When we clicked on the “continue” button, the whole story changed.

“The young man was so in love with his beautiful bride…”

You’ll never guess what it reminded me of!

Do you realize that the story of your life has not been totally revealed to you yet? All you see right now is that you don’t have a baby. You cannot see the entire summary of your story. There’s simply not enough room in your heart and mind to contain all that the Father has planned for you.

What if the synopsis of your life was displayed for you like the description of my movie?

She will not have a baby …

Perhaps the continuation reads more like this:

She will not have a baby … as easily as she thought, but eventually her miracle came, wrapped in blankets of blue.

Or maybe your story is more like this:

She kept waiting and waiting … as God revealed His plan step by step.

She felt like her heart would burst into a million pieces … from the explosion of joy God gave at the birth of her first child.

She never had a true, intimate relationship with God … like the one brought about because of infertility.

If you are struggling with what God wants for this season of your life, remember, you cannot see the full synopsis. Trust Him to write out your life as He sees fit. He knows what’s coming next, and He knows just how much to reveal to you right now.

Don’t forget to watch the credits: “The Story of Your Life” — written by God!

Scriptures: Hebrews 13:5-6, 2 Timothy 2:13

Infertiles in the Hands of a Passionate God

Read Hebrews 13:5-6.

What are you passionate about? The horrors of human trafficking? The injustices of child abuse? Family members you love? What causes you to speak with fire in your eyes and electricity in your voice?

Hear the passion in God’s voice when you read Hebrews 13:5-6. God’s passion is you. See the fire in His eyes as He promises He’ll never leave you or even relax His grip on you. He knows infertility hurts and can be overwhelming. He also knows every time you’ve wanted to give up on Him because you’ve felt like He’s abandoned you, or you’ve felt that His plan for your life is cruel. But He refuses to give up on you even then, for when we are faithless, He is faithful still. (2 Timothy 2:13)

How does it feel to know that God Almighty speaks so passionately about you? When infertility makes you feel so out of control, the God who controls the universe with nothing more than His words says to you, “I will in no way fail you or in any degree leave you helpless.” When you feel all alone because you are the only one left in your group of friends without a child, God says to you, “I will not, I will not, I will not leave you helpless or forsake you or let you down.”

When you fear your future—and have so many decisions regarding treatment, adoption, or the countless other issues infertile couples face—reread Hebrews 13:5-6. Every time. One day, you may discover that you’ve grown bold, confident, and fearless—knowing that an uncertain future with God on your side is not a scary future.

Scriptures: Genesis 17:5-8, Genesis 17:15-22

Problem Solved

You have a problem.

Maybe you’ve battled infertility for years. Maybe you just started to suspect that having a baby may take longer than you hoped. Whatever the scenario, pregnancy delayed is a real problem. People will tell you to “just relax.” They unwittingly diminish your grief when they complain about their children—and tell you how lucky you are not to have any. You get so tired of the constant struggle for fertility and sanity. When will this problem ever end?

Well friend, here’s good news: your problem is already solved.

Consider the best known infertility story in the Bible: Sarah and Abraham. After years of waiting on God’s promise of a biological child, this godly couple still had no baby to hold, no child to love, no youth left in their bodies. They knew what it felt like to weep through the long, lonely, quiet nights. What they didn’t know was that their infertility problem had already been solved.

Until the age of 99, Abraham was actually named Abram, and his wife’s name was Sarai. God promised them a child 24 years prior, but there was still no baby. However, God interrupted Abram’s life and changed it forever. He reiterated His promise that He would give Abram and Sarai a son, no matter their age. (Did I hear a rousing ‘hallelujah!’ from some of you?)

Please notice an amazing thing in the message God gave this godly—yet infertile—couple: “For I have made you the father of a multitude of nations…” Notice it? That’s right. God spoke in past tense! He had already solved Abraham and Sarah’s infertility problem before they knew their desire for a child would be delayed.

What does that speak to you in your current childlessness? God has already got your problem solved. He doesn’t scratch His holy head, wondering how He’ll resolve your infertility. God had your problem solved before you ever drew your first breath. You can rest in the assurance that just as He did for Sarah and Abraham, God has had your problem solved. Before He ever walked with you to the realization that infertility would play a role in your life, He had a purpose and a plan.

Problem solved.

Scriptures: Isaiah 53:5, Psalms 30:2, Matthew 14:14, Matthew 15:30, Hebrews 11:11, Romans 10:17, Psalms 107:19-20

Healing

Anyone who’s experienced the heartache of infertility must face the reality of bodies that do not work properly. The only things consistent about our cycles are their inconsistencies. Every month that passes without a positive pregnancy test is another blatant declaration that our bodies have failed us—again. The physical frustration of infertility can be a heavy burden to bear.

Do you realize that God truly cares about your physical health? When Jesus died on Calvary, He made a way for sin to be forgiven forever. However, do you realize that forgiveness of sin was not the only provision Christ made for you? When Jesus died on Calvary, He also made provision for the healing of your body. The wounds made on His body were placed there so that wounds on your body could be healed.

If your heart has been broken by the diagnosis of a physical ailment that hinders your ability to conceive, find the freedom offered you in Scripture to pray for the healing of your physical body. When you pray about your infertility, it’s okay to be specific; go ahead and name endometriosis or varicoceles, for example. Think of it as putting a target in spiritual crosshairs. Build your faith by submerging yourself in the Word of God. Read it. Memorize it. Believe it.

God hears your cries for healing, and there is no illness or disease that God cannot heal. Today’s readings are each about healing. Build your faith by consuming God’s Word today.

Scriptures: Psalms 56:3-4, Psalms 56:8-13

When I am Afraid

What about infertility frightens you the most? The fear that you may never conceive? Miscarriage? The fear that your marriage can’t take the strain of infertility? A fear of needles? This one is understandable if your husband does the injections—especially if his hand shakes.

You’re familiar with the routine. You lie in bed at night after a hectic day of work and doctor’s appointments. For the first time all day, your world is silent. The worry and pressure of infertility creep into your thoughts, and fear settles into your heart.

Do yourself a favor. Memorize Scriptures.

Psalm 56 is a handbook of reminders of where to turn when fear grips your heart. No matter what fear you feel, you can trust God to be with you and work things for your good. Remind yourself that when you are afraid, you can trust in God. Rather than ruminate on test results, you can fill your mind with encouragement.

Sometimes we need reminders of what we already know to be true. God removes our sins, but keeps our tears. Psalm 56:8 reminds us of that.

Use verse nine as a formula for encouragement. Personalize it. Make it your own. This is it in the New Living Translation:

“My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!” (Psalms 56:9 NLT)

Ask yourself: what are my enemies? Endometriosis? PCOS? Recurrent Miscarriage? Replace “my enemies” with the name of the enemy you face, and use this verse to strengthen and encourage you.

“[Endometriosis] will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!”

“[PCOS] will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!”

“[Fear] will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!”

Infertility is no match for the God who created you, the God who is for you, the God who is on your side!

Scriptures: Psalms 139:16, Jeremiah 29:11, Luke 12:20-26, Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 5:7

Do Not Kill

Would you murder someone?

For most of us, it’s an absurd question.

But why? Because of legal consequences? Where I live, the death penalty is—pardon the pun—alive and well. But what if you knew you would get away with it, that you would escape any consequence: would you murder someone?

No? Good answer! Well then, what makes murder so unthinkable? A holy God handed down a commandment saying “Do not kill.” Enough said.

Guess what? That same holy God also said “Do not worry.”

Infertility places a heavy burden on your heart and on your mind. You worry about whether you should pursue medical treatment. You worry about money. You worryabout a possible future without children. You worry about a marriage struggling under the strain of an empty cradle. You worry. You worry. You worry.

The same God who said “Do not kill” also said “Do not worry.”

Why does God tell you not to worry? He knows the plans He has for you and they are good ones. (Jeremiah 29:11) The uncertainty that infertility places before you is not puzzling to God. He knew every day of your life before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16) If His plan for you involves difficult days, He knows how to bring you through them. He also thrills to celebrate with you on joyous days. The One who travels with you knows your future. He doesn’t worry, so you don’t have to, either.

You matter to God. God cares that your heart longs for a baby. He sees every tear that has streamed down your face when another cycle ends without a pregnancy. He understands the hurt and the frustration. Yet, because He is lovingly in control, He can still say to you “don’t worry.”

Scripture: Luke 15:11-32

The Prodigal Fertile Daughter

Imagine that there was a Modern Day Infertility Version of the Holy Bible. Perhaps the story of the Prodigal Son would read something like this…

And Jesus said, “A man had two daughters. The younger demanded her inheritance early so the father divided his wealth between them.

“The younger daughter gathered everything together and ran away from home. She lived a wild lifestyle, and was totally irresponsible with every gift and blessing she’d ever been given. Before long, trouble ushered her home to Daddy.

“Her Dad was thrilled to see her coming, no matter the condition she was in. As she got closer, he could see her expanding belly, yet noticed no wedding ring on her finger. ‘I guess I’m not the daughter you dreamed I’d be.’ He wrapped his arms around her, wiped her tears and began to make plans for the biggest baby shower ever to welcome his first grandchild.

“As the older daughter pulled in the driveway, she saw her Dad with a very pregnant, very ‘undeserving’ sister. She wouldn’t even get out of the car to approach her long lost sibling. Dad walked over and begged her to come embrace her sister.

“‘But Dad, for years now, I’ve worked in your business, I’ve balanced the books and stocked the shelves. I’ve never told you “no” when you’ve called on me for overtime or asked me to work on holidays. My sister prostitutes herself and you bless her with a shower that you expect me to attend? When will you throw a shower for me?’

“As her tires squealed out of the driveway, the Father looked at his daughter and said, ‘All that I have is yours.’”

Perhaps you’ve wondered why God allows others to conceive, yet withholds blessings from you? Has God run out of miracles just as your number was coming up? When God blesses another person, it does not diminish His ability to bless you. Jesus Christ hasn’t run out of miracles, and His love for you remains as powerful and as strong as when He hung on Calvary’s cross. He has blessings to bestow on you, no matter how He touches another’s life. Don’t let jealousy destroy you in your waiting.

Remember the words of the Father: “All I have is yours.”

Scriptures: Mark 4:37-39

Bored Flight Attendants

Want to know what comforts me most on a turbulent flight? Not the proximity of the exit rows. Not the belief that a tiny two-inch strap of canvas could keep me safe if I go hurtling through the sky. It’s not even the fact that there’s a barf bag waiting to catch my cookies should I be forced to toss them. The most comforting thing to me on a bumpy flight is a bored, sleepy flight attendant.

Yawning. Stretching. Catching her balance enough to glance at her watch. She knows the pilot is in control even if the ride is bumpy. Together they have carried gazillions of passengers before me and there are gazillions more to come. The flight attendant is confident that the pilot knows what he’s doing—so I can be too.

I’ve been on many rough flights, but I have never once stormed the cockpit to ask the pilot what he was doing to ensure my safety. I never even considered the thought that he’d forgotten that there was a passenger in seat 10C. Even if he had explained to me how this massive, mechanical bird could lift off the ground and sail away to nearly any destination on this globe, I wouldn’t understand it anyway. I didn’t have to. I just sat down, strapped myself in for the ride. Then I asked a very bored, very sleepy flight attendant for a soda.

Do you realize that Jesus is simply not worried about your life? It’s not that He’s unconcerned—He’s just not worried. He doesn’t sit around in distress wondering how He’s going to pull you through the latest round of fertility testing or the next baby shower you’ve been invited to. He’s like the flight attendant who never blinks an eye when the plane bounces from cloud to cloud. When you find yourself getting scared because you feel so out of control since your baby died—and you’re beginning to doubt that you will reach your ultimate destination—glance at Jesus. See the calm that He brings. No panicked look on His face. He knows the Pilot, and He knows that together you’re going to arrive safely at your destination.

Scripture: John 11:22

Even Now

What would you say to Jesus if you stood face to face with Him right now? Would you ask Him why you haven’t conceived? Beg for healing? Cry? Scream? Blame Him? Or ask for wisdom? Maybe “inside information” on His plan for your life? While you probably won’t get such an opportunity on this side of eternity, there was a woman in the Bible who did. The story is recorded in John 11.

Martha was a close friend of Jesus. When Jesus received word that Lazarus—Martha’s brother—was dying and needed Him, He didn’t come. When He finally arrived, it was four days after Lazarus had died. Martha, distraught with grief, confronted Jesus: “If only You had been here!”

Are you beginning to feel like a modern day Martha?

• “God, where were You when I needed You?”
• “Why didn’t You save my baby?”
• “Why won’t You tell me what to do?”

Interestingly, no questions by Martha are recorded here, but she did say something remarkable: “Even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.” Even now that the one I love is dead, even now that it seems that You’ve ignored our cries for help and mercy, even now that I’m so broken inside that I simply don’t know how I’ll face tomorrow, even now I know that whatever you ask of God, He’ll give it to You.

Martha looked into the eyes of a God who said “No.” She could have cursed Him, called Him cruel, turned her back on Him. The facts offered no hope; her feelings permitted no peace. Yet, her faith gave her just enough strength to utter, Even now… I know You are able; I trust You.

You have the same choice. You can curse God and walk away from Him, refusing to believe in a God who refused to breathe life into your womb, denying the One who denied you the moment to bring home the baby you’ve loved and lost. You can wrap yourself so tightly around your hurt that no one is allowed in. Or you can choose to trust in an unseen God whose plan is more invisible than His face.

Even now.

Scriptures: 1 Samuel 1:1-20, 2 Samuel 2:1-9, Hebrews 10:24-25

A Profile of Hannah

Hannah is an amazing role model for women desperate for a child. You would give anything to conceive and give birth to a healthy, full-term baby. Hannah felt the same way, pleading with God for a child. Surely you will see yourself in her sorrow. Make it a goal to see yourself in Hannah’s worship and constant prayer.

Hannah’s life is such a beautiful portrait of persistence. 1 Samuel 1:7 tells us that as Hannah’s great effort to become a mother dragged on year after year, so did her determination to worship. “It happened year after year, as often as she went up to the house of the LORD…” Although her emotional battle was intense, she didn’t hide away at home. She kept going to worship year after infertile year. Not even the depth of her grief was enough to silence her praise.

We also learn that Hannah was persistent in her prayer life. 1 Samuel 1:12 says “Now it came about as she continued praying before the LORD…” When God’s answer was a silent “not now,” Hannah kept on praying. When she was accused of being drunk due to her grief, she kept on praying. Hannah simply kept on praying.

Even after God blessed Hannah with the child she had begged for, her persistence in worship and prayer continued. In today’s readings, take note of how many verses document Hannah asking God for a child. Then notice how many verses are full of her praising Him. You’ll discover that Her praises far outnumbered her petitions. She even worshiped in the midst of her heartache. She didn’t withhold her praise until she got the answer she wanted. Hannah was determined to give praise and worship to the God who had closed her womb—even before He opened it.

Worship God through your tears. Include Him in your celebrations. Remember Hannah’s example: praise Him through the pain, and worship in the waiting.

Scripture: Zephaniah 3:17

I Loved Her Groom

All other eyes were on the bride as she paraded down the petal-lined aisle, but mine were fixed on the groom. I had loved him for more years than she had even known him. Had anyone noticed me in those sacred moments, they probably would have thought I was caught in the emotion of the moment, but they would be wrong.

You see, the bridegroom was my nephew, and I have loved him since his birth. Indeed, when all eyes were locked on his stunningly gorgeous bride, I looked straight at Philip. It thrilled me to watch waves of emotion wash over his face as the love his life sashayed down the aisle to joyfully and freely give herself to him. As they promised to love each other until their final breaths, I remembered how in the moments before their sacred ceremony began, Philip prayed over his bride, thanking God for bringing her into his life, and her tears of gratitude freely flowed. Few things in life are more beautiful than the joining of a couple brought together by God’s design.

As Christians, we are the bride of Christ. Just as my nephew was breathless at the sight of his bride on his wedding day, Jesus is breathlessly in love with us. Sometimes we forget our value and worth in His eyes when we view ourselves in the mirror of infertility. We gaze at our image and see scars of miscarriage or childlessness and cannot begin to imagine how One like Jesus could desire such a bride. But our worth is not found in our ability to conceive. Our worth is found in the sacrifice made for us by our Bridegroom. He is the Love of our lives who prays for us with an understanding that no one else could ever possibly possess. The love of the One who rejoices with us when life is good and refuses to leave us when we hurt is what gives us our unfathomable worth. Our Groom rejoices over us with singing even when we cannot imagine what He could find to sing about. This is the Bridegroom who has an amazing plan for our future, even when it includes infertility or loss.

Scriptures: Philippians 4:13, Luke 1:37

You Can’t!

When you struggle with infertility, there are many can’ts in your life. You can’t go on vacation with your best friend because you may ovulate while you’re gone. You can’thave that cup of coffee or sit in a hot tub. You can’t go to another baby shower. You can’t figure out where the money will come from for treatment. You can’t handle the anxiety or depression anymore. All because you can’t conceive!

The Bible is full of can’ts that were turned into cans by the power of God’s hand. Remember that the men and women we read about in the Bible were just that: men and women. Men like your husband. Women like you. Ordinary people who put their trust in an extraordinary God!

Consider Sarah. A 90 year old woman cannot conceive and give birth to a healthy child. That’s ludicrous, isn’t it? Of course it is. A woman beyond childbearing age can’tgive birth to a baby, can she? With God, she can.

A man can’t live inside a huge fish for three days, only to be vomited up at the right place at the right time, can he? With God, he can.

A child can’t defeat a nine foot tall giant in battle. A virgin can’t conceive. Water can’tbe turned to wine. A crowd of 5,000 can’t be fed with a child’s lunch. With God, they can.

Maybe you’ve heard doctors say you can’t conceive. Maybe you’ve heard yourself say you can’t take anymore. Maybe you’ve heard your spouse say he can’t believe in anything anymore. Maybe you’ve heard Satan say you can’t carry a baby full-term.

Friend, dive into the reality of Scripture and watch God turn all those can’ts into glorious cans. Encourage yourself and build your faith by diving into the real stories of real people with a real belief in a real God. The same God who closed the mouths of lions, fed thousands of people with mere scraps, breathed life into ancient wombs and even placed His Son in a virgin womb, is the same God who hears your prayer today. He’s the same God who knows how badly you want that baby. Our God is the same yesterday, today and forever! He is the only one who can turn all your can’tsinto cans.

I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Scriptures: Psalms 68:19, Job 23:10

Daily

Baby hunger is a daily battle. It seems we can never get away from it. Television commercials show babbling babies, and we are reminded of the silence of our homes. Our mailboxes are stuffed with invitations to baby showers while our calendars are filled with doctor’s appointments and scheduled intercourse. Even if we could hide from the rest of the world, our bodies are constant reminders of our quest to conceive. Every twinge is either a hopeful sign of pregnancy or a devastating proof of failure.

God knows the way we take, and eventually, we will come through the other side of this trial shining as gold. He is not a detached Creator who breathes life into us and leaves us to fend for ourselves. Scripture assures us that He is exactly the opposite. If you are feeling alone in your journey today, or wondering if you can shoulder the burden of infertility alone, Psalm 68:19 is just what you need.

“Blessed be the Lord who daily bears our burden.”

Not one day goes by that God is not aware of your struggle with infertility. There has never been a single 24 hour period in which God has not paid attention to your heart’s cry for a baby. He knows how heavy the weight of an empty cradle can be, so He has chosen to get underneath that burden and carry it for you. He will never leave you alone to fall beneath this load.

God knows every detail of the journey you are on—the financial strain that fertility treatment can put on you, the awkwardness in friendships with fertile friends, the way your faith seems to plummet when you face another month without conception. He daily bears our burden. Not just on Sundays when we go to church and are enraptured in worship. He daily bears our burden. Not just on the good days when it’s easy to imagine God carrying our sorrows. He daily bears our burden. Not just on the bad days when we know we couldn’t carry the burden of another miscarriage, and it has to be His hand holding you under the weight of grief. He daily bears our burden.

Thank You Lord, for daily bearing our burdens!

Scriptures: Genesis 18:14, Luke 1:37

Is Anything Too Difficult?

The birth stories of Isaac and Jesus share familiar similarities: a promised child; astonished parents; an inconceivable conception. But let me call attention to a couple of similar proclamations too wonderful to overlook.

Let’s go inside Sarah’s tent as she overhears the Lord Himself announce that—at the tender age of 90—she’s having a baby. When Sarah laughed in disbelief, He responded: “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”

Now jump ahead to the central event of mankind: the birth of Christ. Look at the scared young girl staring back at an angel as he tells her:

• You’re going to conceive.
• It’s a boy.
• Name Him Jesus.
• He will be a king.
• His reign will last… oh, forever.

Stupefied, Mary asks, “How can this be? I’m a virgin!” Then the angel drops an even bigger bombshell on her:

• The Breath of God is going to breathe life directly into your womb.
• Therefore, this baby is the Son of God Himself.

The Bible doesn’t record any of Mary’s words here; I like to think her mouth is hanging open. Then the angel simplifies things for her with: “Nothing is impossible with God!”

“Is anything too hard for the Lord?”

“Nothing is impossible with God!”

I absolutely love these Scriptures that boldly scream out through time and eternity that nothing is too difficult for God. As these proclamations reassured childless women of approaching motherhood, let them remind you that nothing is impossible—or even difficult—for God.

• Endometriosis? It’s nothing to the Great Physician.
• Unexplained infertility? Not to an all-knowing God.
• Adoption? He is the original adoptive parent.
• Miscarriages? Stillbirths? God understands. He knows the sting of losing a Child. His child died too.
• Disease? He is our Healer.
• Financially strapped? He is our Provider.
• Confused? He can lead you to the right doctors or support groups.
• Tired? He can give you rest.
• Barren? He can open your womb.

Tattoo these on your heart right now:

• Nothing is too hard for God!
• Nothing is impossible for God!

God loves you. God cares about your hurt. And, he’s fighting your battle right alongside you.

Scriptures: Genesis 1:5, John 12:46

Your Dark Time is Not the End

Read Genesis 1:5.

If you are going through a dark time, this scripture is for you.

A day, in God’s reckoning, doesn’t start with a ray of hope only to end in darkness. Absolutely not. Darkness comes first, passes, and then the light comes. The Bible isn’t merely playing semantics here, that’s how God designed our days.

So what does that mean for you?

If you’re in a dark time right now, hang in there. It will pass. The darkness is not the end for you. The light will come. Your day isn’t over. Your time isn’t over. Your story isn’t over. Your life isn’t over. Infertility can be a very dark season in your life. You may even wonder if God has abandoned you or if your night will ever end. Good news, friend. Morning is coming.

Light represents hope. Jesus is your hope. And if He’s your only hope, that’s okay. He’s the only hope you need.

I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark.

— John 12:46 NLT