Keeping God at Arm’s Length

Scriptures: Proverbs 16:5, Jeremiah 9:23-24, 1 Corinthians 1:31

“What a piece of work is a man!” opined Prince Hamlet. “How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty!”, etc., etc. Indeed, Shakespeare’s prose illustrates the problem of human pride and the chasm it creates between ourselves and God. 

Human arrogance is perhaps the most astoundingly limitless and utterly unwarranted of sinful inclinations with which we keep God at arm’s length. Sure, mankind developed writing systems and civilizations, split the atom, put a man on the moon, made phones “smart,” and so on. But when is the last time any of us created a universe out of nothing, healed sickness or injury with a thought, resurrected the dead, or transcended space-time on a whim? 

Our accomplishments are dwarfed when compared with God’s miraculous work, and rightly so. Still, we are prideful and arrogant. Such callous self-righteousness keeps God’s true righteousness just out of our reach. 

Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, understood God’s disdain for prideful hearts. (Proverbs 16:5) The prophet Jeremiah, in fact, makes it clear just how much God abhors human pride. Our wisdom, strength, wealth: none of it is boast-worthy. (Jeremiah 9:24-24) 

Pride in human accomplishments or gain takes attention away from the One who makes any and all achievement possible. As Paul reminded the church at Corinth, if we must boast, let it not be in our own accomplishments; let it be in His. (1 Corinthians 1:31)

Scriptures: 1 John 4:18, Philippians 4:6-7, Matthew 6:27

Giving in to our fears and anxieties is another way in which we keep God at arm’s length, albeit unintentionally. Most Christians do not consider their worrisome nature a hindrance to God’s transformative work in their lives, but they should. Fear can be paralyzing, especially in the face of spiritual challenges.

The apostle John characterized fear as a symptom of God’s love unembraced. (1 John 4:18) Those who live fully in the love of Christ have nothing to fear from this world or the next. The apostle Paul echoed John’s sentiments, exhorting us to bring our fears and anxieties to God, not let them keep us from Him. (Philippians 4:6-7)

For non-believers, succumbing to fear reflects self-doubt. For believers, it can indicate a lack of faith in God’s absolute power, providence, and goodness. In the words of Jesus, “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:27)

Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 5:10, Matthew 6:24, Hebrews 13:5

For many believers, what’s keeping God at arm’s length is not a lack of desire to know Him better. Rather, it is the suffocating clutter of material wealth and comforts – to say nothing of the desire to possess it – which crowds Him out in our lives. If the drive to earn more for the sake of having more comes at the expense of the eternal riches of salvation and a genuine relationship with our Heavenly Father, then our priorities are askew.

Solomon, in his wisdom, decried the quest for wealth as both unceasing and unsatisfying. (Ecclesiastes 5:10) Jesus explicitly warned His disciples not to let material greed become a source of enmity between themselves and God. (Matthew 6:24) The author of Hebrews agreed, urging believers to be content with what they have, remembering that it is ultimately God Himself who provides for our wants and needs. (Hebrews 13:5) 

Don’t discount the danger that greed and material excess can pose to your relationships! Consider just how often couples fight over money… or how many marriages have ended due to financial issues… or how many bitter divorces have been dragged out over the splitting of assets. If money and possessions have the potential to suffocate our human relationships, how much more so might they hamper our relationship with God?

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Galatians 5:16

As with the “love of money,” lust of the flesh can be just as inhibiting to our relationship with God – to say nothing of His transformative work in our lives. Few sins so obstruct the indwelling work of the Holy Spirit as sexual immorality, especially when we are unwilling to acknowledge, or take steps to correct, its spiritually and emotionally damaging effects. However it may manifest – sexual promiscuity, pornography, extramarital affairs, et al. – sexual immorality ultimately distances us from God and from each other.

The apostle Paul spoke strongly against the damaging effects of sexual immorality; in fact, matters of moral purity are central to many of his epistles. In his rebuke of the church at Corinth (1 Corinthians 6:18), as well as his letter to the church at Galatia (Galatians 5:18), Paul urged believers to be led by God’s Spirit and not by their flesh. “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?” (1 Corinthians 6:19) As would-be vessels of the Holy Spirit – ones bought and paid for in Jesus’ own blood (1 Corinthians 6:20) – how utterly uninviting and unworthy are such bodily “temples” as those polluted by lust-run-amok! 

If sexually immoral behaviors have a comfortable place in our lives – and, indeed, statistics suggest the phenomenon is far more rampant in the church today than many care to admit – can we rightly expect God to come any closer than arm’s length?

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 15:9-10, Romans 8:1, 1 John 1:9, Romans 5:8

Among the many behaviors with which we keep God at arm’s length, there is an underlying thread of guilt. We are ashamed of our moral impurity. We regret our materialistic nature and prideful tendencies. We are embarrassed that we are not as spiritually brave as God calls us to be. And we are right to feel this way. The closer we come to God, the more unworthy we feel. We recognize that, in our natural state, we are so utterly undeserving of His grace, His mercy, or His love. 

But that’s rather the point: it is only in acknowledging who and what we really are that God can begin to work a change in us. 

Nevertheless, we must be careful not to allow guilt over who we were before Christ to stifle God’s good work in us now. According to Paul – a guilty man, if ever there was one… before he met Jesus at any rate (1 Corinthians 15:9-10) – there is no guilt or condemnation for those who belong to Christ. (Romans 8:1) As the apostle John later explained, we need only confess our guilt to God to be freed of it and made right with Him. (1 John 1:9)

Hanging onto guilt is to refuse God’s grace and, by extension, His salvation. We cannot rightly expect God to save us from who we were if we are unwilling to let go of our guilt over needing to be rescued by Him. He already knew what we were when He died for us. (Romans 5:8)

Scriptures: Revelation 3:15-16, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Matthew 10:39, Romans 12:2

A very common way we keep God at arm’s length – especially among new believers – is by trying to have our salvation cake and eat it, too. By this, I mean our tendency to embrace the new creation God wants to make of us while at the same time clinging to the old habits that made us so needy of His grace to begin with. To do so is to expect a “lukewarm” affiliation with our Heavenly Father, and that’s just not something He’s willing to accept. (Revelation 3:15-16) A relationship with God is an all-or-nothing commitment. 

As Paul explained to the church in Corinth, “If anyone is in Christ… the old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) There is no “best of both worlds” scenario where our salvation is concerned. This is precisely why Jesus called upon his disciples to count the cost of following Him and to be ready and willing to lay it all on the line. (Matthew 10:39) And it’s why Paul counseled new believers to be transformed by God’s changing work in their lives – not to let the world from which they came have any part in shaping their new selves. (Romans 12:2)

We can’t have it both ways! We can’t be reborn of God if we refuse to die to our old selves. We can’t carry Christ’s cross if we’re still hanging onto our old baggage. And we can’t invite the Holy Spirit to dwell within us if we won’t clean out our “temple” and made a proper place for Him.

Scriptures: Proverbs 27:1, Luke 12:20, Proverbs 16:9, James 4:14, Psalms 90:12

One last – and, arguably, the most ridiculous – way we keep God at arm’s length is by assuming we’ll have time to work on our relationship with Him later. Perhaps in our later years, after we’re done living life to the fullest, maybe then we’ll give God the full measure of what remains of our time. Many believers won’t say that out loud, but, in practice, that is precisely what they are doing: living for God just enough to get by, never fully committing, always assuming there will be time later to make up for it. 

But what if there isn’t? What if later never comes? (Proverb 27:1) What if, like the rich fool in Jesus’ parable, our lives are demanded of us this very night? (Luke 12:20) We love to plan for the future, as Solomon noted, for all that might be, all the while ignorant of the course God has set for our lives. (Proverb 16:9) As James explained, we really don’t even know that we have a tomorrow! (James 4:14) 

As surely as our mortal days are numbered (Psalm 90:12), we must cultivate a relationship with God in the here and now, not at some later time that may never come.