Live Connected: Transformed Love

Scripture: Romans 12:9-21

It’s About Transformation 

During a speaking engagement in London, my wife Kelly and I seized the opportunity to explore the city. Among our various ventures, we visited the Tower of London to witness the crown jewels, an astounding collection of 23,578 gemstones entrusted to the king or queen for the nation. As we walked gazing at case after case, we were amazed by the sheer luxury. Our tour through the Tower also served as a metaphor for our spiritual journey, a reminder of the countless jewels of the Christian walk. 

Just as we marveled at the royal jewels, we are often mesmerized by the abundance of blessings and lessons in our Christian life. Much like the Tower’s gemstones, these jewels of wisdom and grace can be so overwhelming all together that we fail to appreciate them individually. But each jewel, lesson, and blessing holds unique beauty and value. 

In Romans 12, Paul guides us through these spiritual jewels. He shows us the richness of our faith, from the humble sapphire of humility to the radiant ruby of love and the solid gold of faith. Some of these jewels we may already possess as uncut, unpolished gems. Our goal and aspiration should be to attain them all, cut and polished and ready to shine. 

You see, the Christian life is not about ticking off items from a spiritual to-do list. It’s about transformation. It’s about letting Jesus work within us, refining us into better versions of ourselves. It’s about understanding that being transformed by Jesus changes the way we live. Our spiritual walk is not accomplished through willpower or hard work, but through Jesus Christ, who is working within us, polishing our rough edges, and guiding us to shine for Him. 

Romans 12:1–2 encourage us individually to seek to be transformed by renewing our minds. In Romans 12:3–8, Paul reminds us, as a community of believers, that we each have a spiritual gift to serve the body of Christ. And in Romans 12:9–21, he urges us to explore how we can better love one another. Falling in love with Jesus changes your heart and life, leading to a genuine appreciation of the people of God, known as the church. 

So, let’s embark on this journey together, walking through the crown jewels of our faith and appreciating each gemstone’s unique beauty and significance. After all, it’s in appreciating these spiritual treasures that we truly recognize the richness of our Christian walk.

Scripture: Romans 12:9-10

It’s About Love 

Christianity is not about how much we know but how much we love. Our faith is not an intellectual exercise or mechanical ritual but a passionate journey of affection toward our Creator. It’s not about being in love with learning about God. It’s about being in love with God; therefore, we learn about Him. Love is so important that it would be the centerpiece of the crown among the jewels of our faith. 

Author C. S. Lewis once observed that many of us fall in love with Jesus, then we start talking about Him, and gradually fall in love with the talking, not with the Creator. It’s easy to become enamored with the craft instead of the Creator. Do we love our skills and tasks, or do we love Jesus and use our gifts in His service? 

In Romans 12:9 we find a profound exhortation to “let love be without hypocrisy.” This type of love, agape, mirrors God’s perfect, unblemished love. The Greek word for hypocrisy here comes from the theater world, meaning “one playing a part.” Essentially, we are called to love authentically without concealing our true selves behind a mask. 

The most significant detriment to Christianity is the hypocrisy of the believers who profess godliness yet hide behind masks of false piety. God’s love is robust and enduring enough to point out our flaws. It’s a love that prompts us to change, grow, and become more like Him. 

God’s love is big enough to tell us when we’re straying, and we must be mature enough to listen. Do we love God enough to let Him correct us when we’re wrong? Do we love Him more than our sins? There are two types of people: those who love sin more than God and those who love God more than sin. Which one are you? 

A practical way we can demonstrate love is through the gift of full attention. In a world where we often have “continuous partial attention,” divided among our phone, TV, conversations, and thoughts, true love calls for giving someone our complete focus. What would our relationships look like if we truly listened to each other without distractions? 

We often look to celebrities for examples of success. Consider country singer Garth Brooks, who chose family over fame, pausing his successful career for 14 years to raise his daughters. He recognized the importance of being fully present in their lives, a beautiful reflection of the love we’re called to exhibit. 

Our faith journey invites us to love without masks, to love with sincerity, and to love wholeheartedly. It’s not about intellectual mastery but about a deep, genuine affection for God, mirrored in our relationships with others. That’s the true jewel of Christianity.

Scriptures: Romans 12:11-12, Philippians 2:5

It’s About Prayer 

Our attitudes can light our way or divert our paths on our spiritual journey. As we study the next crown jewel, I want to underscore the twin pillars of what should be our disposition: enthusiasm and endurance. These two attributes heavily influence the quality of our service to God and our spiritual growth. 

Romans 12:11–12 provides valuable guidance: “Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the spirit; serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope. Be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer; share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality.” These verses challenge us to serve God with both ardor and steadfastness and to stay unwavering even in the face of trials. 

Philippians 2:5 instructs us to adopt the same attitude as Christ Jesus, underlining the importance of a servant’s heart in our spiritual journey. Jesus came to serve, not to be served, and in emulating Him, we learn to endure with patience, particularly in prayer. Life is strewn with obstacles and hardships; our endurance and patience in prayer can guide us through these challenges. 

When I want to encourage others who are going through difficult times, I weave this reminder into the notes I write to them, marked by Romans 12:12: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” This message of resilience in affliction and faithfulness in prayer serves as an encouraging touchstone, whether we find ourselves in a period of joy or trial. It may not fix the situation, but it definitely recenters our hearts on Him who is fixing and using the situation. 

I pastor a church in Houston and there was a time when over sixty churches in our city held prayer meetings. Alongside them, we united in prayer, demonstrating a potent sense of community resilience, despite the evil going on in our city. Such prayer with other believers is a form of revival – stirring our hearts and invigorating our faith. 

Our devotion to prayer should not be transient but persistent, hopeful, and persevering even in trials. By drawing on the twin wells of enthusiasm and endurance, we can serve with a heart that is patient in affliction and fervent in prayer. This isn’t always the easiest thing, but with God’s grace and strength, He helps us to draw from these wells that He provided. How would you define your devotion to prayer? Start today. Start right now. Start serving God with enthusiasm and endurance. With persistence in our prayers, let’s anticipate God’s transformative work in and through us.

Scriptures: Romans 12:13-14, James 2:14-17

It’s About the Heart 

Actions, the third crown jewel in our spiritual journey, lay bare the contents of our hearts. As seen in Romans 12:14, our actions should radiate with humility, compassion, and understanding. “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.” 

These are instructions, not suggestions. They emphasize the importance of our actions reflecting the faith we claim. Indeed, as the apostle James teaches us, we can demonstrate our faith through our actions. This is a call to bless others, not to bring harm, to empathize with both joy and sorrow, and to refrain from inflated self-importance. 

One insight worth noting is that it may be more challenging to genuinely rejoice with those who are rejoicing than to weep with those in sorrow. In the throes of shared joy, jealousy can often sneak in, subtly tainting our reactions. For instance, hearing of someone’s unexpected fortune, one might be tempted to think, “Why wasn’t it me with the rich uncle?” In contrast, sorrow rarely invites envy. As we sit with others in their pain, our hearts echo their distress naturally. 

Yet, in the midst of another’s suffering, we often pressure ourselves to say the ‘right’ thing. From years of ministry, I’ve come to realize that simply being there, offering a steady presence, is often the most comforting. Quoting scripture, extending an encouraging word, or offering help has its place, but most people don’t need a sermon in moments of deep grief. They need a companion to hold space for them, to accompany them to the hospital, to sit in silence, to listen, and to acknowledge their pain without attempting to ‘fix’ it. 

Take, for instance, the story of a little girl whose playmate passed away. She told her mother she intended to comfort the deceased friend’s mother. After an hour of visiting, when asked what she had done or said, the little girl responded, “I didn’t say anything. I just sat in her lap and cried with her.” Such is the power of shared sorrow. 

So, we strive to weep genuinely with those who weep and sincerely rejoice with those in joy. Do you find it hard to rejoice with those who rejoice? Do you want to fix someone’s sorrow? Remember, rejoicing may require more intentionality due to lurking jealousy, but both actions are paramount. Both are expressions of our faith, reflections of the love of Jesus Christ, and steps in our journey toward humility. As believers, our actions should be the mirror in which others can see Christ.

Scripture: Romans 12:16-18

It’s About Our Reactions 

Spiritual maturity is a jewel that often is overlooked. Its hallmark often lies in our reactions. A commonly quoted saying states, “It’s impossible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.” That strikes at the heart of a significant truth: our emotional reactions are a mirror of our spiritual growth. This doesn’t imply a lack of emotion but rather the demonstration of grace, understanding, and control during emotional situations. 

Think about it—how do we react when we encounter conflicts or face problems? Do we resort to anger, bitterness, or even the silent treatment? Do we immediately jump to worst-case scenarios? These knee-jerk reactions might suggest areas where we need to mature emotionally. 

The Bible instructs us in Romans 12:17–18: “Do not repay evil for evil… live at peace with everyone.” It encourages us to seek wisdom, approach situations thoughtfully, and strive to maintain peace whenever possible. This doesn’t mean that everything will always be smooth. There could still be disagreements, conflicts, and even lawsuits. Nevertheless, our reactions should be underpinned by a godly perspective, not driven by selfish impulses. 

Interestingly, science offers a complementary perspective to this spiritual insight. According to Dr. Jill Taylor, a neuroscientist from Harvard, it takes about 90 seconds for our body to process an emotion fully. If we can practice patience and restraint, allowing the wave of emotion to wash over us before responding, our reactions might be more thoughtful and constructive. It takes effort, but with practice, this approach can help us regain control of our emotions and, ultimately, our responses. 

As leaders and adults, we don’t always have the luxury of reacting emotionally. When confronted with a crisis, a difficult situation, or a challenging conversation, our first task is to process the information thoughtfully so that we can respond in a manner that moves the situation forward, not backward. 

Consider this example: Imagine you’re at a stoplight, enjoying a beautiful day, and you observe a man overreacting to a minor inconvenience, such as a cyclist crossing the road a bit too slowly. Despite his apparent success— indicated by a nice car and fashionable attire—his outburst of anger reveals turmoil. This situation serves as a reminder that our reactions often unveil the true state of our hearts. 

As we grow spiritually mature, we learn to navigate our emotions, allowing for considered, controlled responses that align with our spiritual growth. The journey isn’t always easy, but it is crucial. The greater our ability to respond wisely and lovingly, the more peace we’ll find in our relationships and within ourselves.

Scriptures: Romans 12:19-21, Proverbs 25:21-22

It’s Not About Vengeance 

Sometimes, we may find ourselves quick to anger and quick to retaliate. These reactions may signal deeper unresolved issues. Exploring the true source of our unrest is essential. We are told in Romans 12 that we shouldn’t seek vengeance ourselves but leave room for God’s wrath, for vengeance is His domain. Proverbs 25 further illustrates this concept by urging us to feed a hungry enemy and offer a thirsty enemy a drink. Doing so will heap fiery coals on their head—not as a gesture of spite, but as a profound gesture of goodness in the face of evil. 

Does this mean we should allow ourselves to be pushed around? Absolutely not. But it emphasizes the difference between retaliation and resolution. Retaliation says, “You hurt me, and I’ll get you back.” Resolution, in contrast, seeks understanding and wisdom. It often involves mediation. You acknowledge that you’ve been hurt and seek to process that pain rather than blindly retaliating. 

Taking vengeance into your own hands is choosing to become a destroyer of relationships, potentially damaging your witness. Handling things wisely doesn’t mean seeking revenge—it means placing your concerns before the Lord and letting Him take control. 

This act of surrender is incredibly hard. To do this requires the Spirit of God within us. Choosing resolution rather than revenge is about sincerity, about genuinely following Jesus so that others might sincerely turn to Him. It’s about living a life of love, allowing God to be our Avenger, and trusting Him to act justly. 

How can we achieve this? The answer lies in being intimately connected with Jesus. It’s not a matter of checking off boxes on a list; it’s about abiding in Christ. Our heart must beat simultaneously with His. We cannot overcome evil with good through willpower alone—it requires the transformative power of Christ within us. Romans 12 encapsulates how we should live as Christians—marked by our love, guided by truth, and taking responsibility when we err. 

Just as a precious gemstone is formed under pressure, our transformation often comes from facing and overcoming our challenges. We can’t shine without first going through the fire. Christ can assist us with our affections, attitudes, actions, reactions, and desires for revenge. 

Let’s take a moment to examine ourselves. Consider your jewels we have discussed: love, enthusiasm, endurance, actions that demonstrate our faith, and spiritual maturity. Which of these jewels resonates with you? Which jewel struck something within your heart? The Christian walk is not about striving or carrying some burden. It’s about tasting and seeing the goodness of God, experiencing His love firsthand so we can share it with others. That’s where true transformation is found. These jewels are our praise to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who is greater than anyone or anything we could ever imagine.