A real problem, often without practical answers, in a society that has wrongly relaxed the definition of sexual relations and of what is right and wrong. Faced with the devastation wrought by this addiction, we want to demystify this thorny issue. It is a real problem with severe consequences. No, God has not abandoned you! If you want freedom, believe that with God, anything is possible!
Eric Rachel Dufour
Day 1
Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 6:12, Galatians 5:1
1 Corinthians 6: 12 (NIV): “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything,”—but I will not be mastered by anything.
Galatians 5:1 (NIV): It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
This verse from the Epistle to the Corinthians says, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are good for me. Everything is permitted, it is true, but I do not want to place myself under any kind of slavery.”
That is it. We are called to be free, to live free, and to live in a way that will not only fulfill us but also allow others, those who live with us, to flourish through contact with us. This will create a virtuous circle, something good.
If an addiction traps us, it is crucial, first of all, to recognize it. Whether we are believers or not, God’s desire for us is to become aware of it and find the freedom that is in Him and that He desires for us.
Maybe you are not a believer. We also want to welcome that. You, too, need a solution in your life, in the battle you are waging. These keys we are presenting can also apply to your situation. They apply to anyone who needs them!
We are called to be free and to watch out for behaviors that could enslave us and make us dependent on something.
Day 2
Scriptures: Psalms 34:5-7, 1 Peter 2:24
Psalm 34:5-7 (NIV): Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.
1 Peter 2:24 (NIV): “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds, you have been healed.”
Pornography is an old problem. In Pompeii, a city destroyed by a volcano centuries ago, some houses have pornographic images of men and women engaged in sexual acts on their interior walls. This problem is as old as humanity itself. Its frequency, intensity, and presence in everyday life have become preponderant, particularly since the advent of television and the Internet.
We might, therefore, think that pornography is normal and not a dangerous behavior. But no, no, and no! Pornography can generate destructive, addictive behavior. Today’s easy accessibility reinforces this addictive phenomenon.
We often hear, “I watch a little. I’m not hurting anyone”. We would like to dispel the notion that “it’s not hurting anyone because I watch it alone; I’m free to do so.”
Not only does it hurt you, the consumer, even the occasional consumer, but it also involves the people supplying the product. Actors and actresses put their lives at risk. They are often slaves to this destructive process. No, pornography is by no means harmless.
Mind you, there is a difference between a single exposure and an addiction, we agree, but we want to underline the fact that the phenomenon is also growing among women… and sadly among children too.
An addiction to pornography conceals something more serious.
All addictions lead to isolation and guilt, and pornography in particular. It leads to guilt, isolation, and the feeling of “I can’t talk about it,” especially in Christian circles, because it is seen as a sin.
Yes, it is true; it is a sin against our bodies. It adds an outsider, or several outsiders, to God’s framework for sexuality. It is a dangerous sin for our future, but it is a sin that is not impossible to talk about! The Bible tells us that Jesus bore all our sins on the cross, which obviously includes sexual sins and, therefore, includes pornography, too.
Jesus was tempted like us in all things, without sinning, so that He could help us. He understands our struggle.
Day 3
Scripture: Genesis 38:8-10
Genesis 38:8-10 (NIV): Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the child would not be his, so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight, so the Lord put him to death also.
Many preconceived ideas about masturbation exist. Because of these preconceived ideas, liberation from this addiction is complicated.
Let’s start by positioning masturbation and what the Bible does and does not say about it.
We often hear it said that the Bible condemns masturbation because of the text in Genesis, which mentions the sin of Onan. Onan was condemned by God and died, but not because he masturbated. Here, the man is condemned because he refuses to obey God’s succession law.
In those days, when a man died without posterity, his surviving brothers had to take care of the widow by bringing her offspring, who could care for her when she was old. Onan, surviving his deceased brother, had to sleep with his sister-in-law to provide her with offspring in his brother’s name. But he refused to do so, lest he destroy his own inheritance. In fact, he did have intimate relations with his sister-in-law, but he practiced “coitus interruptus.” As the Bible says, he let his seed fall to the ground without going into details. In this text, masturbation is not condemned but rather the failure to obey the law that God had asked him to follow.
All too often, this biblical text is misused as a systematic and absolute condemnation of masturbation when it is really about something else.
But, just because there is no condemnation of masturbation in the Bible does not mean we encourage it, especially when we are talking about addictions.
When we are in a pattern of addiction, something has taken God’s place, has taken the first place in our hearts, directs our day, and is the main focus of our efforts and our daily lives. Everything revolves around this addiction.
Conversations on this subject lead us to believe that it is mainly a male issue, but no, masturbation addiction on the female side exists as well. Yes, you read that right! Every person, whatever their gender, can suffer from an addiction to masturbation.
We are talking about an addiction, not just a one time accidental masturbation. If there is a real addiction, something is controlling us, and this problem will not be solved by having sex with our spouse or future spouse.
Day 4
Scriptures: Matthew 5:27-29, Matthew 6:21-23, 1 John 2:15-17, James 4:7-10
Matthew 5:27-29 (NIV): “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Matthew 6:21-23 (NIV): For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
1 John 2:15-17 (NKJV): Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
James 4:7-10 (NIV): Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God, and He will come near to you.
Choose to fight!
Pornography is a lie about the spiritual and emotional bond made during sexual relations between a man and a woman.
It provides an emotional “fix”: when a person indulges in this ‘passion,’ a hormonal cocktail of adrenalin, testosterone, oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin is released into the body. The violence of this sensation is such that it can almost be compared to that of heroin! Those who indulge in this “drug” seek this pleasure. This pursuit creates an ever-deepening commitment that leads to psychological and physical dependence.
It responds to boredom, loneliness, or a complicated married life, offering temporary relief through masturbation, giving the illusion of feeling “good” or “in control” for a few seconds. It reassures the user with the illusion of self-centered pleasure without the need to invest in a relationship with a real person.
Pornography seems to reassure us, to provide an escape from our lack of self-esteem and meaning in life, our doubts and fears, and our lack of control over events and human relationships.
Above all, it betrays the lack of a deep, satisfying relationship with God.
Pornography generates growing feelings of shame, guilt, anger, and self-loathing. Self-esteem plummets, undermined by complexes, addiction, and compulsive masturbation.
Consumers of pornography are in danger of importing fantasies from the world of pornography into their real lives. They gradually lose the sense of relationships between human beings and adopt false standards about love and physical relationships. This phenomenon interferes with real sexual life and its demands, destroys emotional life, and develops fears and misunderstandings between the sexes.
There is an actual risk of bringing unacceptable, even dangerous, deviant behaviors into relationships with real people.
Pornography addiction is a proven source of attitudinal change and of evolution towards criminal behavior such as rape, pedophilia, and other sexual perversions, engendered by the need to go ever further in the search for strong emotions.
Without going to these extremes, it has also been shown that this influence plays a significant role in the loss of effectiveness at work, the deterioration of social relationships, depression, and even suicide…
The rebound theory: If your eyes stop on a source of temptation, bounce them off to another place. Do not let them settle!
Day 5
Scriptures:
Philippians 4:4-8 (NIV): Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Romans 12:1-2 (NLT): And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then, you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Psalm 4:7 ( (NLT): You have given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine. In peace, I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.
Ephesians 3:20 (NLT): Now, all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Can you be free of pornography addiction? Yes, yes, triple yes! It will take time, but there is real deliverance at the end.
Yes, you will be free of this addiction. You can live a pornography-free life with a God-honoring sexuality!
First of all, it is a decision.
The best spiritual weapons will never help you win if you are not convinced you have to fight. You must first recognize that you have this problem and accept paying the price to get rid of it. Not wanting to change your lifestyle, not questioning yourself, and hoping for some “magical” deliverance from God is an attitude doomed to failure.
The first and most important source of strength lies in an intimate and constant relationship with Jesus Christ. If our walk with Christ is nothing but religion, then when the time comes, “our strength will be nothing but weakness.”
Count the cost!
Look at the ones you love. Ask yourself if pornography is worth sacrificing them!
Pornography activates phenomena in our bodies that we can use to our advantage. Let’s not let ourselves be robbed of everything! We will get back what God intended. Pornography triggers electrical impulses of pleasure in our brain, based on the phenomenon of imprinting, etc…. We can modify and re-establish this imprint in the right place to relearn pleasure in the right place.
Starve “the beast”. This is the “OFF”: Remove all sources of temptation. Cut out the wrong way of responding.
Turn evil into good. This is the “ON”: meeting our real needs in a good way.
You have to be persistent, diligent, and patient! Always remember that Jesus loves you!
Walk from victory to victory.
If you have gone 24 hours without pornography, that means that after 24 hours, you looked at pornography again. It is not the end of the world. Too often, shame and guilt trap us: “I can’t do it! You see, I can’t even last 24 hours”. But yes, you did last 24 hours!
Generally, the brain unlearns and relearns a new way of thinking or behaving in an average of 90 days.
You have chosen to stop; you will succeed with God’s help!