Scriptures: Jeremiah 24:7, Ezekiel 11:19, Romans 5:5

How to Fall in Love with God

We cheer and chide, push and pull, preach and pray, worry and wonder. Will our children choose to follow the Lord on their own? After all, you can lead a kid to the Bible, but you can’t make him believe.

So how do you teach one to fall in love with God?

In part, we can’t. It’s the Holy Spirit that draws people to God. We can pray daily that our children respond to the Spirit’s prompting.

I will give them a desire to know me and to be my people. They will want me to be their God, and they will turn back to me with all their heart.

Jeremiah 24:7 (CEV)

And as we pray for our kids to fall deeply in love with the Lord, we can also work to not get in the way. We can focus on the heart of the matter—that they should love the Lord—and not just hammer a set of Biblical commands. We can extend to our children the grace we need ourselves and keep our expectations appropriate for their age and maturity, recognizing the Lord is patient with all of us.

When discussing how he created The Chronicles of Narnia, a series of storybooks for children, C. S. Lewis wrote, “Why did one find it so hard to feel as one was told one ought to feel about God or about the sufferings of Christ? I thought the chief reason was that one was told one ought to. An obligation to feel can freeze feelings.”

Instead of focusing on how your kids “should” feel about God, explore with them the wonder, the beauty, and the love of the Lord. Read the stories of the Bible with your kids, looking for what God is doing and why he is doing it. Seek out good biblical literature that helps us better understand Christian doctrines. Or point out biblical themes, like redemption or forgiveness, in any story. And if their attention is running short for traditional Bible lessons, spend time outdoors drawing their attention to things in nature through which God reveals himself.

So, pray first; pray always. Then look for opportunities to teach your children about God in various ways. And don’t forget to celebrate the moments when you see their young hearts and minds understanding and appreciating the goodness and fullness of God’s unending love.

PRAY

Lord, you are worthy of our love. Help us to love you more. Help me to show my children how wonderful you are. And I pray they will fall in love with you. Amen.

TIME TO TALK

Conversation starter for kids: Provides you with questions and prompts to facilitate a time of applicable discussion with children to lead them towards knowing God and His Word more deeply.

Question(s): What are the attributes of God that make him amazing? In what ways can you show your love to him?

Scriptures: Genesis 9:22-23, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15

Love Covers Faults

This kid is killing me!

Wait till you hear what my husband thought was a good idea!

You won’t believe how much my wife spent!

We delight in telling stories. Too often we delight in stories about how our people messed up. From social media to motor pool banter we tease, laugh, embarrass, shame, manipulate, humiliate, and retaliate by telling the world the ugly. We rally people to our side to be entertained by the imperfections of those we love. And it hurts them deeply.

In the Old Testament, after Noah stepped off the boat, he grew some grapes, made wine, and enjoyed his harvest a little too much. In a stupor, he laid down in his tent naked. One son saw his vulnerability and told his brothers about it. The other two backed into the tent and covered Noah’s shame without looking. 

Which son would you want to have?

Ham entered the tent and saw him naked, then went back outside and told his brothers. Shem and Japheth put a robe over their shoulders and walked backwards into the tent. Without looking at their father, they placed it over his body. 

Genesis 9:22:23 (CEV)

We all make mistakes. We all sin. We all want our faults to be covered, not ridiculed.

This is not to say that serious, recurring, unrepentant sins such as abuse or addictions should be kept a secret. Truth, out in the open, is the way to healing in those cases.

But other things need grace, forgiveness, and compassion. We can be respectful of our loved ones by covering over their failings. Children should be disciplined in private as much as possible. Spouses can be corrected quietly and respectfully—or save it for the “After-Action Report” and discussion at a later time. We should have our loved ones’ backs, treat others the way we want to be treated, and give grace the way Jesus does. 

Being trustworthy with our loved ones’ deepest vulnerabilities will build relationships that are open, vulnerable, and intimate. Sabotaging that trust builds walls. Children will cease to share and begin to be deceitful. Everyone will be more disconnected and lonely.

Just as a military doesn’t broadcast its weaknesses, a strong, loving family will cover each other’s shortcomings when possible. Ask the Lord to help you break the habit of proclaiming the faults of your loved ones. 

PRAY

Jesus, thank you for forgiving and forgetting my sin. Thank you for restoring me with dignity. Help me to be like you for my people. Amen.

TIME TO TALK

Conversation starter for kids: Provides you with questions and prompts to facilitate a time of applicable discussion with children to lead them towards knowing God and His Word more deeply.

Question(s): When do we embarrass each other? How can we quit doing that?

Scriptures: Hebrews 12:6, Proverbs 3:11-12, Ephesians 6:4

Showing Love through Discipline 

“Don’t be too hard on them . . .” 

One of the hardest parts of parenting is disciplining a child. Even the best parents have heard the howl, “You don’t love me!” after giving out a punishment. Even between parents, disagreements on how to reprimand will arise. Add in the variables of the child’s personality and endless possible surrounding circumstances, and it becomes difficult to decide on the correct discipline. There is no one-size-fits-all, no perfect parenting book, no exact science. 

“So, what would Jesus have us do? He always loves and forgives!” 

We are tempted, then, to think it all boils down to being endlessly patient, always forgiving, and constantly giving to our children. But that’s not the full story of Jesus. His love for people was perfect, which doesn’t necessarily mean it was always feel-good. Because he loved people, he called them out on their sins. He pushed them to be better—sometimes gently, but often firmly. He loved them enough to want them to be their very best, which required rules, rebuke, and, yes, punishment. But he always did it in hopes of restoring the relationship, of bringing people back to the Father. 

…The Lord corrects the people he loves and disciplines those he calls his own. 

Hebrews 12:6 (CEV) 

It is loving to give our kids boundaries and to hold them to those boundaries. A spouse’s viewpoint, whether more harsh or lenient, helps us come to a balanced decision on how to discipline. God designed this relationship to show us our blind spots. It is loving to punish children in the right way, and the Lord will give wisdom to us when we pray. 

Sometimes boundaries don’t feel loving, especially to children. Try to help your children understand. Point out how the Bible lays out boundaries that are good and healthy for us to follow, because God always knows best and sees the big picture, even when we cannot. And always reprimand with the goal of restoring the relationship—between you and your child, between your child and their Heavenly Father. 

PRAY

God, there’s a lot of parts of loving my children that are hard to navigate. Thank you for restoring our relationship. Help me to follow your example in showing them a more perfect love. Amen.

TIME TO TALK

Conversation starter for kids: Provides you with questions and prompts to facilitate a time of applicable discussion with children to lead them towards knowing God and His Word more deeply.

Question(s): Do you understand why we have rules and punishment? Do you feel any are unfair? Why? 

Apply: Take time to listen to your child share his or her feelings. Perhaps share an example of when you thought a rule was unfair. Then relate it back to how the Bible guides us by giving us clear boundaries. 

Scriptures: John 15:13, Matthew 20:25-28, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Discovering Real Love 

Your teenager has a crush. Eek! You finally allow them to date. Double eek! If you don’t have teenagers yet, don’t laugh too hard at your fellow parents’ teen dating struggles. You’ll be in the same boat before you know it! 

It’s the big fear: your precious teen says they’re in love with someone who is selfish and manipulative. How do you break through the storm of hormones to help them understand real love? Or how do you teach a strong foundation of what true love is so it’s less likely this fear becomes a reality? 

A poor understanding of love leaves kids vulnerable to stay in harmful relationships. They can be manipulated, unsteady in who they are and how they relate to others, and end up lonely—and alone. 

“God loves you!” we spray rapid fire, hoping to lure a child into a relationship with God, as well as secure their self-esteem. But with so many loud and negative voices defining love—God loves us like Shaq loves Subway? Like JLo loves Ben?—it can leave them lost. 

To combat all the noise of what love really looks like, we gratefully turn to Jesus. Seeing his example shows us the full picture. It displays how the Father loves us. 

To start with, in Jesus we immediately see that love is not selfish. Instead, love serves. Jesus chose to give up his highest-ranking position to be with us and be one of us. He spent his life giving. Ultimately, he willingly gave up his physical life as a sacrifice for us. 

The greatest way to show love for friends is to die for them. 

John 15:13 (CEV) 

As parents, we have an idea of what it means to love enough to serve. Our children are learning by that example as well. As we talk with them about Jesus’s way of showing love, they will know what to expect of others and themselves. When they understand that love requires giving back, they will jump years ahead in wisdom. 

So, celebrate Jesus this season! Relive his experiences and remind each other of the depth of his love. And work every day to show that same love to others—no matter the cost. 

PRAY

Jesus, thank you for the great love you showed, back then and now. Thank you for teaching us real love. Help me to know it, show it, and teach my children about it. Amen.

TIME TO TALK

Conversation starter for kids: Provides you with questions and prompts to facilitate a time of applicable discussion with children to lead them towards knowing God and His Word more deeply.

Question(s): How do you know someone loves you? How can you show someone you love them? 

Apply: As a family, reflect on the things Jesus did during his final days on earth, and discuss how his actions revealed his love.