Christy Osborne knows what it’s like to be stuck in a cycle of drinking that makes you feel like there’s a barrier between you and God—and she knows that even though it might seem like you’re the only one struggling with alcohol, you’re not. In this devotional, Christy offers wisdom from Scripture to help you surrender your drinking to Him and receive His abundant grace, love, and healing.
WaterBrook Multnomah
Day 1
Scriptures: Psalms 34:4-5, Isaiah 61:3, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
“JESUS, I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE”
For the first two years after my mom passed away, my life looked like this: waking up with a headache, planning how to get through the day, hoping there was a lunch in my calendar so there was an excuse to have a glass (or three) of cold white wine at noon, and trying to get to the afternoon as quickly as possible so I could open up a bottle of wine when the homework books came out after school.
When the afternoon wine bottle popped open, I felt relief. I could go fuzzy again. I didn’t have to handle the pain. I didn’t have to think about how I wasn’t being a great mom. I didn’t have to think about my collapsing marriage.
When I woke up on the second anniversary of my mom’s death, hungover again, my mind pinged between I wonder where I’ll be in another two years if I keep drinking like this? And I’m fine. Not one person has called me on my drinking. After all, everything looked glossy and pretty on the surface.
Finally, that morning, I literally shouted to God, “Jesus, I can’t do this anymore!” And that day, in honor of my mom, I decided to take a break from alcohol.
In the following days and months, I battled cravings alone, terrified to tell friends what I was doing. I kept returning to 2 Corinthians 12:9: “’My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” God’s power was made evident to me in my weakness around alcohol. He would take this struggle and turn it into something I could never have imagined. When I finally surrendered to God, I felt more powerful than ever before because of His work in me. I knew I had a story to share with other women struggling with disordered drinking.
Wherever you are in your journey, know that God can take even your darkest moments and bring “beauty from ashes” (Isaiah 61:3). Hold on to this truth today: “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34:4-5).
What words from Christy or verses from Scripture in today’s devotional resonate with you most deeply?
Day 2
Scriptures: Romans 5:3-5, Philippians 1:6, Philippians 4:7
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Even if you feel like you’re the only one in your group of friends, your PTA, or your church thinking about changing their relationship with alcohol, I want you to know that you’re not alone. The tide is turning, and more and more women are trying to drink less.
Most importantly, you are not alone because you’ve got Jesus. He is with you right now as you’re reading this. As Paul writes in Romans 5:3-4, “We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Yes, this may be hard, but it also might change your life and teach you incredible lessons about how God can show up for you. As soon as I asked Him to help me, to be with me, and to go on this journey with me, I didn’t feel alone anymore. God gives us peace that “surpasses our understanding” and guards our hearts and our minds (Philippians 4:7).
God also has a plan for you. He already knows how this journey is going to turn out for you. It may just bring you closer to God and your family, as it did for me.
Paul writes in Philippians: “I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). Invite God to join you on this journey. Take a minute to say a simple prayer and ask Him for wisdom, strength, and direction. The God who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).
How does suffering lead to hope? When have you seen this in your life or the lives of others?
Day 3
Scriptures: Deuteronomy 31:6, Psalms 46:1-2, Hebrews 4:16
GOD-GIVEN CONFIDENCE
When we take those first few sips of alcohol and the edge comes off, our prefrontal cortex (the decision-making part of our brains) slowly goes offline, so naturally our inhibitions lower and we feel more confident. But then after a few drinks, we may lose focus and say things we know we shouldn’t. Have you ever felt regret over spilling your deepest, darkest secrets or gossiping about someone you care about? I sure have. Lowered inhibitions coupled with “hangxiety” leave us doubting our self-worth and undermining the very confidence that we sought alcohol to boost in the first place.
Another thing that threatens our confidence is playing a losing game of moderation over and over. Many women feel like if they can’t just have one or two drinks, something must be wrong with them. But you are not the one woman on the planet who can’t moderate her wine. Anyone can get addicted to an addictive substance.
The next time you’re worried about not having confidence without alcohol, plan for every variable. Visualize the entire meal or evening. For example, are you nervous about ordering a nonalcoholic drink? Pick one ahead of time and have the answer ready.
Most of all, remember this incredibly good news: We have an ever-present source of strength and guidance in Jesus Christ. Here are a few reminders of His unwavering support:
• “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea” (Psalm 46:1–2).
• “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).
• “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).
When I examined my belief that alcohol made me more confident, I realized that alcohol actually eroded my confidence. But here I am now, alcohol-free and more confident than I have ever been. I know my value in Christ Jesus as one of His beloved daughters.
When do you feel most confident? Why do you think that is? What kind of confidence does God offer?
Day 4
Scriptures: John 8:32, Romans 8:6, 2 Corinthians 10:5
EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE
When we first set out to change a habit, we often start by trying to modify our behavior. But where we actually need to begin is with our thoughts. Then, we need to understand how our thoughts make us feel. Only then are we equipped to change our behaviors.
The apostle Paul gives us a road map to changing how we think. In Romans 8:6 he says, “Letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” In 2 Corinthians 10:5, he reminds us to “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.”
To get back in control over alcohol, we must recognize how our minds are creating stories about why we “need” and “deserve” alcohol. Without careful examination (taking the thought captive), we believe these stories are true.
Many women drink because they want to shut off the constant pressure of trying to live up to unrealistic versions of themselves. The easy-button answer is alcohol. These thoughts that negate our worth are the thoughts we need to take captive and run through the filter of what God says about us.
Because the truth is that you are loved even if you didn’t get everything checked off on your to-do list. Even if you were skipped over for that promotion or if you messed up that project, your true worth is unchanged. God loves you so much that He sent His Son to the cross.
In John 8:32, Jesus says that knowing His truth sets us free. If you’re drinking because you feel you’re not enough, take that thought captive and embrace the truth that you are God’s daughter. When you fully comprehend that God sees you as worthy, that He knows and loves you, the pressure is off and so is the need to numb with alcohol. In other words, meditating on that truth can change your behavior and set you free.
You can use this truth-finding tactic for everything in your life, not just as it relates to your drinking. Anytime you feel pressure or discomfort, take a minute to observe your thoughts, figure out what story your brain might be making up, and check it against God’s truth.
What specific truth from God’s Word can you think about when you’re feeling unworthy or tempted to numb pain with alcohol?
Day 5
Scriptures: Joel 2:25, Luke 15:11-32, 2 Corinthians 5:17
COMING HOME
Some of my reasons for my alcohol fast were obvious: I didn’t want to feel hungover all the time, I wanted to get better sleep, and I wanted to have the energy to work out and make better food choices.
But the biggest reason I wanted to make a change was to repair my relationships. My drinking was getting in the way of my marriage, big-time. When we both drank, we would bicker and wake up angry, not remembering what the fight was about so never able to resolve anything.
Then there were my children. When I think back on that time, it breaks my heart. God gave me these two beautiful, wonderful children and I didn’t even want to hang out with them because I would rather have been drinking. Thankfully, in sobriety, I have been able to prioritize my relationship with them and feel closer to them than ever before.
Alcohol also got in the way of my relationship with Jesus. I had grown so far apart from Him that I no longer recognized it myself. Waking up fuzzy meant there was no time for reading my Bible in the mornings. I would pray sporadically before falling asleep, but I didn’t create any space to be with God or hear from His Holy Spirit. My life felt desolate without Him.
When I think about my drinking and relationship with Jesus, I think about the prodigal son in Luke 15. Jesus told the parable of a young man who recklessly squanders his inheritance, only to find himself so hungry he’s thinking about eating pig slop. When he returns home, expecting nothing but a scolding, his father welcomes him with unconditional love and forgiveness.
Like this son, I had turned my back on Jesus. I ran away, taking all His blessings with me without so much as a “Thanks, Dad.” I fully immersed myself in the world, and the world gave me wine to cope, to reward myself, and to let my hair down. When I finally realized there is zero fulfillment in doing life this way, I returned to Jesus in tears and asked for forgiveness. The beautiful thing is, He truly welcomed me home.
How do you relate to the son’s journey in Luke 15? How has God shown His faithfulness to you, even during times when you’ve strayed from Him?