Love Like Jesus

Scripture: Romans 8:35-39

Loving the Broken

I was raised in a broken home. Drugs, alcohol, and physical abuse were common and expected. It didn’t take long for me to take on some of the same characteristics that I saw daily. Before I knew it, I was out drinking late, and stealing drugs from my stepdad’s stash to sell and often consume. I remember walking home at 7:00 one morning to get ready for school after a night of drinking and drug use. I looked in the mirror, unhappy with the person staring back at me. I had become someone I had despised for so long—someone I promised myself I would never be. It didn’t take long for me to justify it and convince myself that this was who I was destined to be. “That’s all small-town living has to offer,” I told myself. “What else is there to do?”

During this same period, my grandmother was persistent in inviting me to church. Some weekends I would give in and make sure that I was sober enough or didn’t party as hard the night before. As I said before, I lived in a small town. If you’ve ever lived in one, you know everyone usually knows what you do before you even do it. She was aware of my substance abuse and had been praying God would show me His love and the plans He had for me. They were much more promising and hopeful than I could ever dream or imagine.

Home life was getting worse, and the abuse had turned from moderate to extreme. Looking back, it’s amazing to see how God orchestrated the timeline of events. My grandmother’s love for me and her ability to look past my faults led me to a family who was willing to take me in as their own. They took a chance on a troubled teen. Through their love and acceptance, I was able to see Christ’s love for me. It’s because of that love I am now a changed man. A man with a wonderful marriage and children who will be raised knowing the love that I once was unaware of. I gained all of this because several people were able to love like Jesus.

Scriptures: Matthew 18:20, Romans 12:4-5, Hebrews 10:24-25

Forgiven Together

I was raised in church, but truthfully, I lived like God didn’t exist. When opportunities came up for me to show love to others at school or work, I didn’t really take them. I was a jerk. I was self-centered and prideful. Looking back, the major influences in my life were negative: the wrong friends, toxic relationships, sex, porn, and alcohol. I was caught up with the wrong crowd, lying to my parents, lying to my friends, drinking, and feeding the false ego I had developed. By the time I was halfway through college, I was doing terrible things that were wrecking my body and my life.

Fast forward to early 2010 a few weeks before Easter. My family had been invited to attend Life.Church. At this time, we hadn’t been to church in several years. It was a critical time in my life and my family’s life, and this invite couldn’t have come at a better time. We walked in and everyone made us feel so welcome and accepted. It was something I had never truly experienced walking into a church. During that first service we attended, I was overwhelmed with God’s love and forgiveness for the first time in my life. The message spoke of forgiveness, and I understood the story of Jesus and His love. I didn’t wait. I decided to commit my life to Christ that very day. I felt God cleanse me of all the bad things I had done, and I was a new person. That wasn’t all, though. I realized I needed support. I needed to join a LifeGroup, a small group of people who do life together. I found a young, co-ed group that met weekly on Tuesdays, and I started attending. This is where everything changed.

These friends loved me, accepted me, and most of all, showed me what living for Christ looks like. I’ll never forget how this group of people loved me like Jesus would. They brought me in just as I was, and helped me to overcome my past and embrace this new life God had for me. I felt accepted, and I wasn’t judged because of what I had done. They showed me the love and support I so desperately needed at this time in my life. God used this little group of 20-somethings to shape me into the person I am now. Fast forward to today, and I’m actually on staff at a church, on the small groups team, and get to hear story after story of lives being changed because of the love of Christ. God can change your life, and a majority of the time, He’s going to do it through those around you.

Scripture: Luke 6:32-36

The Mission of God

God is on a mission. I am certain of this. God is just as alive, involved, and at work today as He was during the thousands of years of Scripture records. In the beginning, He created everything in a balanced state of harmony, form, and beauty. However, the pinnacle of His creation rejected divine intimacy. Ever since, God has been wooing us back to Him. It is the ultimate love story. God dives into the frozen lake when we fall through. He runs into the flaming building when we are trapped inside. He melts the callous walls of our hearts when we isolate and fortify ourselves inside our own fear, hate, shame, or insecurities. But the best part is, that He calls us to join Him on this mission of hope.

We were once God’s enemy, choosing any number of false gods. He loved us so much that He sent and gave up His one and only Son. For us. His enemy. This is the example being set for us. Our hope and the mission we are called to join is to love our enemies. That is the most evangelistic thing we will ever do. It’s more than words and more than actions. It’s a lifestyle that participates in the mission of God. When the world sees a movement of people having enough self-control not to fight back, enough compassion to find solidarity, and enough humility to realize the power in weakness, then the world will come to know Christ in His true form—cruciform.

Scriptures: Psalms 34, Psalms 127:3, Psalms 37:7, Matthew 19:26

Purpose in the Pain

Just a few short years ago, my wife and I found ourselves on a journey of heartbreak and pain as we struggled to start our family. Friends were having their first kid, then their second … and we were still asking God why we couldn’t get pregnant. Four years later, of course, we can see our journey of infertility was all part of a bigger plan. It turned into something so much more than we could have ever imagined. But before the miracle, what got us through the pain? Our LifeGroup.

They loved us like Jesus and joined us in carrying the pain and the disappointment each and every day. They tangibly demonstrated Psalm 34:18 for us. We experienced God’s comfort every step of the way as the Holy Spirit moved in our LifeGroup.

Because of their support, we went public with our journey and were able to share God’s message of hope with other couples who thought they were alone in this struggle. But God didn’t just stop there. After four years of trying to have a baby, trying to save money for in vitro fertilization, becoming licensed foster parents, and right before God opened the door for a new job almost 16 hours away from our family, God answered our prayers.

In a second, everything was different. My wife was pregnant! Just a few short months later, our sweet baby Emma came into this world, and guess who some of the first people we told were? Our LifeGroup. They were the ones who carried the burden and pain when we could no longer manage it alone, and they were the ones we celebrated with the most!

So what are you up against today? If you feel alone, just know this couldn’t be further from the truth because Christ walks with us every step of the way and strategically places people in our lives for a reason. Any moment of pain we experience, we’re not the first nor will we be the last. But we have a savior who is close to our hearts in our darkest moments. Since we have this truth to hold on to, we can be the ones who point people to someone greater than their heartbreak, someone who can carry them through and even bring purpose to their pain. His name is Jesus.

Our pain is our testimony. It’s our story of God’s faithfulness. And through the pain, we can trust in God knowing He loves us, He is with us, and He is truly more than enough.

Scriptures: Romans 2:11, Romans 15:7, Philippians 2:3-11

Jesus Anywhere

It was a warm, spring night when our family attended a soccer game at a local university. My daughter was 5 years old, and soon after we arrived, she noticed a little boy playing by himself. She didn’t know him. He couldn’t speak English and was different from her in a lot of ways, but none of that stopped her from smiling at him and joining in his made-up game. They spent the evening laughing and playing together, and by the end of the game, they sat on the grass panting in happy exhaustion, leaning on each other for rest.

While they were playing, my husband and I found his parents and introduced ourselves. That began a wonderful friendship with this sweet family from a different country, culture, and faith. It allowed us to invite them into our lives, and it had a profound impact on us. This was a unique opportunity for us to share God’s love in practical and personal ways, and it continues to be a significant relationship for our family. It stretched us, and it changed us for the better.

It all started because our daughter loved that little boy like Jesus does. He doesn’t show favoritism. He takes us as we are, regardless of background, and engages in our lives as we let Him in.

When was the last time you intentionally reached out to someone different from you? If it’s been a while, ask God to open your eyes to your next opportunity. And when He does, be ready to respond. It just might change your life.

Scripture: Matthew 5:43-48

Loving the Unlovable

According to church standards, I was pretty good. I “loved the sinner, hated the sin” until the day I had to put this cliché into practice. There it was, my life thrown into a tailspin over a deep betrayal. I had to make a choice: walk away from the relationship or love someone who could not have cared less about the pain that was being inflicted on me, with no remorse or resolution in sight.

I sought God hard for wisdom. What should I do? It was at this moment God revealed something to me—the heart of my betrayer. The saying “hurt people hurt people” was exactly what was happening. This person was in complete turmoil. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to deal with it or where to take it, so it was taken to me.

A funny thing happens when we begin to focus on the heart of others rather than their behavior. We become compassionate—like Jesus. Suddenly, it’s no longer about me and how I’ve been hurt. Instead, it becomes about ways to love them through their pain.

I believe this is what Jesus is saying in His powerful Sermon on the Mount. How easy it is to love people who are kind to us. Even non-believers do that. Chances are, they aren’t the ones who need love the most. Honestly, it’s probably the back-stabbing coworker, the lying spouse, the rebellious teenager, or the horrible waiter at lunch. Taking the journey of loving like Jesus is life-changing. It’s loving with eternity in mind. It’s a risk, but one worth taking!

Scriptures: Matthew 19:30, Proverbs 11:25

Waiting in Line at the Bank

I’ve always been perplexed by social status. Why do we humans elevate some people and not others? There can be many factors that influence one’s place on a social totem pole: fame, wealth, abilities, beauty, personality, title, heritage, etc.

It was probably during high school that I first noticed the various ranks of popularity, but well into adulthood, I continue to notice that the crowds unanimously part for some, and collectively ignore others. We rank ourselves, putting some first and others last.

In the first year following my move to a big city, I foolishly made the mistake of visiting an ATM on a Saturday. On my way to meet a date I was hoping to impress, I took my place in a long line of impatient people who needed cash for their weekend. Lost in thought, I didn’t immediately notice the growing commotion at the front of the line which was at least eight people deep. A sob and a curse word caught my attention, however, and I became aware of a stringy-haired woman fighting to contain her emotions and complete her transaction. I stared at the woman and then looked down the line at the people in front of and behind me. Everyone avoided eye contact, and politely (or just plain impatiently) ignored the woman in crisis. The lady canceled her transaction, then turned to all of us and said, “My father just passed away.” It was less of an apology and more of an explanation. When she received no response, she turned, still crying, and headed into the parking lot. I looked around for someone to help, thinking that someone really should do something. To my disgust, it dawned on me then that the reason my own feet stayed firmly planted was that I didn’t want to lose my place in the growing line.

How often do we prioritize our own agendas over loving people the way Jesus calls us? How often do we ignore those who are precious to Christ because we superficially determine their value? At that moment at the ATM I had somewhere to be and someone I was on my way to impress. This woman was no one to me, and I selfishly felt that I had no time to give her. But Christ doesn’t call us to serve Him only when it’s convenient. He doesn’t ask us to serve only those we deem worthy of our attention. He will flip our priorities upside down—from the prom queen to the porn star, or the addict to the athlete—and declare that despite our shallow labels, the first will be last and the last will be first.

The grieving woman was now struggling to unlock her car, and I felt myself running toward her. She had become my priority and my heart filled with compassion for her. At her look of surprise, I genuinely offered, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Her face crumpled up all over again and she sobbed while I hugged her. She calmed down after a minute and quietly thanked me before she climbed into her car and drove away. I turned back toward the ATM where the crowd of people busied themselves with their cell phones, actively ignoring me.

And I took my place at the back of the line.

Scriptures: John 15:12, Luke 6:32-36, Romans 5:8

Being a Friend

I had a new co-worker a while back who really wanted to be my friend. Instead of welcoming her onto our team, I wasn’t very nice to her. There were times I was flat-out mean. We would hang out from time to time but only when it was convenient for me.

A few months went by and my dad was diagnosed with cancer. It wasn’t long before I found myself in a hospice facility during the last few days of his life. This person I hadn’t given the time of day to didn’t just pray for me during this terrible season. She stayed on the phone with me every night until I was tired enough to fall asleep. She cooked my favorite meal for me before I got on the plane. She organized a package with all my other co-workers to send to me. And when I returned to work, she made herself available to talk and cry with me whenever I needed to.

She was my friend before I knew I needed one. She cared about me when I didn’t care for her. She loved me when I wasn’t very lovable.

I thought I knew what unconditional love was. I thought I understood how Jesus loves us. It turns out, I was really wrong. For some reason, I thought we earned unconditional love. Like, we start loving people conditionally and if that goes well, then eventually it will become unconditional. But that’s not the way God loves us. He died for us while we were still sinners. Jesus sees me as worthy of love even when I’m not deserving of it. He loved me unconditionally from the beginning, and that’s the way He calls us to love others.

That friend loves me just like Jesus does. I want to love like that.

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:12-27

One Body, Many Parts

I just got off the phone with my parents who told me news I never thought or expected I’d hear—my brother had taken his own life. I didn’t know what to do because he was my go-to person in times of need. Whenever anything happened, good or bad, he was the first person I’d call.

Fortunately, I had a community of people to do life with. I called my small group leader, and within the hour, four friends came to my apartment to be with me. And what happened over the next weeks and months was incredible. Some came over to my place and let me cry. Others took me out and made me laugh. Some provided meals. Others made charitable donations in my brother’s honor. Some drove through the night to be at my brother’s memorial service to support me. Others even decorated my apartment for Christmas to welcome me back from my difficult trip. My friends did what God equipped each of them to do to care for me.

First Corinthians 12 teaches that we are one body with many parts. God has given each of us unique gifts, talents, and passions to use to serve others. I am forever grateful for my friends who used what they had to serve me in my time of grief. Today I want to encourage you to remember that you have exactly what it takes to serve others and love like Jesus in their time of greatest need.

Scripture: Ephesians 5:25-30

Like Christ Loves the Church (part 1)

As a little girl, I dreamed about my wedding—from the cake to the dress, and even the man I would marry. When you’re dreaming about how your special day will be, you never think about the trials that will come after that day.

Before I was born, my mother was diagnosed with a severe case of arthritis. Every day was a struggle for her. My father chose to love and serve her daily. Some days it was simply cooking her breakfast or helping her tie her shoes. Regardless of the task, my father loved my mother. Many years later, I saw my father serve my mother in a new way when my mother was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. My father spent his days loving, serving, and praying for her. I had never seen my father so exhausted both physically and spiritually, but he continued. This was his commitment to Christ as well as my mother.

Shortly after my husband and I married, we faced intimate trials no marriage should face. An activity that once brought us joy now brought pain and tears. Each time, I would cry myself to sleep. The pain, lack of intimacy, and the feeling that I was a failure as a wife drove a wedge between us.

These were difficult days that turned into years that neither of us was sure would ever end. My husband stood by me. He laid aside every hurt feeling and chose to love me where I was. He loved me through pain and tears. Today, he still loves me. People say that girls look for husbands who display the same kind of qualities as their fathers. Today more than ever, I am thankful I found a soulmate who loves like my father and who loves like Jesus.

Scripture: Galatians 6:8-9

Like Christ Loves the Church (part 2)

We had only been married for two short years the night she first felt it: a sharp stabbing pain that immediately overwhelmed all her other senses. The intensity would wane over the next several hours in waves of aches, grimaces, and tears. As a shy and skinny 20-year-old, I had promised to love this woman for better or worse, but I assumed the worst would come after decades of preparation. That’s not what happened. The pain kept coming back. At night, with a baby just down the hall, we tried to connect in the same way that most married couples enjoy, but instead, there was just the pain. That was the first few days of what would become a three-year intimacy drought. It crept into our bedroom and loomed over our marriage like a long evening shadow. The act designed to bring us closer together had been hijacked to now drive us apart. Weeks would pass and we’d try again hoping the situation had changed, but it hadn’t. Soon, we just quit trying at all. Many nights we turned our backs to each other in bed facing opposite walls. I could hear her muffled cries as she tried to hide her pain, and I would silently cry into my pillow.

This was not how I had imagined marriage. The dishes and the diapers, the laundry, and the lawn—all of the responsibilities piled up and pushed us further apart. There were no make-up moments after arguments. There were no Saturday mornings. There were no date nights. The battle left us physically and emotionally traumatized. I thought I loved her like Christ loves the Church, but I didn’t really know what it meant to give myself up for her. I learned how little I actually knew about loving like Jesus. I thought seriously about quitting. Many nights, I would stay up late after she went to bed and cry out to God in prayer. I saw my repeated attempts to reconnect with her quickly dismissed day after day for reasons I couldn’t understand.

That’s when God opened my eyes, and I remember thinking, this is how Jesus feels about me. Every morning He asked to connect with me, but I was too busy. Every night before bed, instead of spending time with Jesus, I was burning up my emotional currency wallowing around in self-pity. I could imagine Jesus’ pain and heartbreak as I repeatedly rejected His most intimate invitations.

All this time, I had been holding onto my rights as a husband while claiming it was all about strengthening our marriage. If I was going to make it through this, I had to change. Even when it felt one-sided, she needed me to lay aside my rights as her husband and love her unconditionally. So, every time I felt the sting of rejection I would remember how God felt when I rejected Him. In Ephesians, it says that a man who loves his wife loves himself. I learned that when I felt the most unloved, that’s when I most needed to love my wife. That kind of maturity didn’t simply come with time. It had to be cultivated through pain, sacrifice, and submission.

I’m still not great at loving her as Jesus does, but He has graciously fully restored our marriage and given us a tenacious bond. Because of our pain and our choice to love each other through it, we enjoy a level of intimacy some marriages will never experience.

Scripture: Matthew 25:34-40

You Did It for Me

It was a chilly February evening as we pulled into our neighborhood. On the side of the road sat a young girl, hysterically crying, wearing only a tank top and shorts. We pulled over and I got out and moved toward the woman saying, “How can I help you?”

She muttered the words, “He kicked me out. I’m pregnant, and my boyfriend kicked me out.”

As I searched for words, my only thought was, She’s a person. Show her dignity. So I asked, “What is your name?”

“Brittney.”

I replied, “It’s very nice to meet you, Brittney. Would you like a ride to where you’re going?”

“Yes, my grandma lives nearby,” she said.

We walked to the car, and my husband hopped into the back seat with our two children – who both sat with eyes and mouths agape. Without missing a beat, I introduced my family to Brittney as though I’d known her for years.

“Brittney, would it be okay if I get you some clothes? I can just run inside our home and get them.”

“Yes, I’m really cold.”

I pulled into my driveway and went inside. To my surprise, Brittney followed close behind me. I grabbed a long-sleeved sweatshirt, sweatpants, and flip-flops. I handed her the clothing, and she went to the bathroom to change.

We then took her to her grandmother’s house and wished her well. On the way home, our children inquired about what had just happened, and I simply said, “I’m sure that’s what Jesus would have wanted us to do.” They agreed, and we went about the rest of our evening.

The next morning, I was casually reading my devotional when it was as if the words leaped off the page, “I was naked, and you gave me clothing.” My heart quickened as I remembered the events of the night before.

Opportunities to love like Jesus might happen anytime, anywhere. We can love the stranger on the street like Jesus without even mentioning His name. When Brittney meets Jesus, I pray she’ll recognize Him as the one she encountered on her way to grandma’s house one cold February evening.

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 7:2-11

Loving Like Jesus IS Loving Jesus

When my family started fostering, we attended a Christmas party for foster families given by a church we’d never visited in a denomination we didn’t belong to. I ended up spending the whole two hours choking back tears and trying to keep myself composed. Everywhere I looked I just kept catching glimpses of the face of Jesus in the crowd.

Before we even walked in with our kids, we ran into the friend who invited us in the parking lot. There He was on her arm all snugged up in an infant carrier as a little girl born addicted to meth, cocaine, Xanax, and some other drug I can’t recall. He was there again just inside the door—a whole swarm of volunteers warmly greeting us and scrambling to offer us full stockings and name tags instead of using their Saturday before Christmas to shop and run errands. Then He was there behind us. A mom, a dad, and no I’m not kidding, six school-aged foster kids. Most with thick glasses or leg braces on and all with clean clothes and contented smiles. He was a redhead who proudly showed me the Lego set he was given by some nameless, un-thanked church member. He was both the dad who gingerly wiped the saliva off of a wheelchair-bound boy and the boy who could only respond by turning His newly dried face to look into the dad’s eyes. And He was the chatty woman with a big, healthy baby on her hip and He was also the toddler dangling from her legs. And an older woman signing to two little boys with cochlear implants over one ear. And a sweet grandpa with a Santa hat who led a carol sing-along with Rudolph and Jingle Bells thrown in to put the kids at ease. Driving home with my trunk full of donated groceries and presents, I realized He was the two little sisters who returned home with us that night. He was even my family too. We were being Jesus and loving Jesus all at the same time. Jesus was just everywhere I looked. In the loving and the loved.

In today’s passage, Paul beckons the Church to live in a way that this party exemplified. That there be equality. That we’re all in this together. Not just His hands and feet, but sometimes His face. His tangible, observable body. But unless we allow ourselves to get chin-deep in the sorrow, and need, and pain, and poverty, and brokenness, and loneliness, we won’t feel it. And things like the kids in your community spending Christmas without a family won’t even break your heart because you won’t know any of their names. And until you look into their eyes, you’ll never know the joy of seeing Jesus Christ face to face on this side of heaven.

It’s worth it though. He is unimaginably, breathtakingly beautiful. He is awesome and majestic and glorious and radiant. And it’s more than enough reason to love like Jesus—with everything in us.