Lovestruck A 5-Day Devotional

Scriptures: Song of Songs 1:2-4, John 7:24, 1 Samuel 16:7

The beginning of a romantic relationship is such an exciting, heady time. It starts with that initial attraction, the breathless wondering about the other person’s feelings and the early stages of desire—all natural parts of the process as we walk toward commitment and deeper intimacy. We see all of this in the first chapters of the Song of Solomon, just as we see it in our own love stories.

It’s a universal experience to be drawn to specific person because of a certain something you can’t quite put your finger on. Isn’t it interesting that one woman will find a man attractive and another will not? Or that one man will find a woman alluring and another will not? Beauty (or handsomeness) truly is in the eye of the beholder. During my dating days, I was never attracted to the neat and tidy guys. Some of my friends swooned over guys with perfect hair who wore name-brand shirts and khaki pants. Not me. I was attracted to rugged guys with a bit of grit, dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Some are attracted to blue eyes, others to brown. Some to slim, others to stocky. Some to blondes, others to brunettes. Just the idea that men and women are drawn to varied physical traits shows the glorious creativity of God and the complexity of the human mind that we’ll never fully understand.

As we mature, we learn to look beyond the window dressing and into the heart—or at least we should. It takes time to discover what lies beneath the surface of a handsome exterior. But there is always that mysterious physical attraction that catches the eye.

So back to the why.  Why is there the attraction between the opposite sexes? . . . God put it there. God fashioned man and woman to be attracted to one another, and that attraction extends to all our senses—what we taste, smell, hear, touch, see, and what we perceive lies beneath the physical appearance.

Scriptures: Song of Songs 2:1-17, Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 31:10

 In a growing relationship it’s so important that a woman not only receive compliments but also gives them. That’s true when we’re dating as well as when we’re married. The giving and receiving of compliments shouldn’t end until we hear the words “May he/she rest in peace.” Did you know that your husband questions his manhood on a regular basis? Guys often feel a need to prove themselves in their work, in their play, and in their marriage. Watch guys at the gym (I mean that in the most innocent way), and you may notice how they compare themselves with each other. That is just a glimpse of how they compare themselves in other arenas of life. Men operate under the burden of performance that leads them to question their ability and impact constantly. From boyhood to manhood they hold themselves to a self-imposed measuring stick that rarely says they’re enough.

I don’t want my husband to have to go somewhere other than home to be affirmed. I bet you don’t either. Let your husband know that, among all the ordinary trees in the forest, he is an apple tree that produces extraordinary fruit. Give him the gift of being preferred. Tell him often that you love tasting his delicious juicy fruit and sitting under the protective branches of his strong hunky arms. I bet you’ll see a yummy smile come on his face.

Solomon and the Shulammite almost seem like they were making a game out of giving compliments, or maybe they just couldn’t contain their excitement. Either way, they were doing more than simply pouring out admiration; they were wooing with words. This makes me stop and think, When was the last time I complimented my husband or let him know that I desired him physically? When was the last time I told him that his love was security and protection itself? That he is the handsomest, wisest, most exciting man alive? That I love kissing him? That I enjoy being near him? I wonder, when was the last time you let your man know that, even though you’ve been married for quite some time, he’s still everything you ever longed for?

Scriptures: Genesis 2:22-24, Exodus 13:18-22, Song of Songs 2:10, Song of Songs 2:13, Song of Songs 3:6-11

Solomon and the Shulammite (and their parents) seemed to grasp the concept of leaving and cleaving very well. They also didn’t have trouble remembering that beyond the fancy clothes and fairy-tale decor, there was something very important going on in their wedding ceremony—something holy.

A wedding is an earthly ceremony of a spiritual covenant between a man and a woman before God. Our culture has made a wedding into one big party, more of an event than an everlasting covenant. And while it is a time for celebration, if we miss the spiritual significance, then we’ve missed the true meaning. If we miss the true meaning, then we forfeit the underlying foundation for lifelong intimacy.

Solomon and the Shulammite understood the meaning of marriage. They didn’t miss it at all. Let’s go back to their wedding procession.

There came the bride, with a pillar of smoke leading the way. That pillar of smoke or incense would have undoubtedly reminded the Hebrew attendees of the God who led the children of Israel through the wilderness with a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night (Exodus 13:18–22). They would have remembered how God brought them out of Egyptian slavery and into the Promised Land. While there might have been an extensive guest list for the wedding celebration, God’s presence was leading the way. He was the One who had brought them together and would keep them together.

But just like the Promised Land for the Israelites, the promised land of marriage is not without its struggles. If we keep coming to God as a couple, however, he will help us through every one of them. . . . Having God at the center of any marriage helps hold it together for the long haul. Inviting God’s presence into the wedding celebration is a great place to begin. Solomon’s preparation of the wedding ceremony confirmed that he considered marriage a sacred moment with God leading the way.

Scriptures: Genesis 1:31, Hebrews 13:4, John 10:10, Song of Songs 4:16, 1 Corinthians 6:16

 If anyone says that sex is dirty or shameful, we have an entire Bible to contradict them. God created the gift of sex for a husband and wife to enjoy in the safety of marriage and called it good (Gen. 1:31). We are to “honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband” (Heb. 13:4 the message). To honor something means that you put a high value on it; you esteem it as valuable. Sex within marriage is a good thing; it’s a God thing.

We are not “less holy” when we are passionately loving our husbands, and we should never be embarrassed or feel guilty about it. I honestly think the Enemy who comes to “steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10) has done a pretty good job of distorting what intimacy should be between a husband and a wife. Let’s not let him win.

It is easy to think of a marriage as a holy union designed by God. But we must remember that sex is also a holy union designed by God. The oneness that occurs in physical intimacy is not matched in any other way. If you strip away the spiritual and emotional significance of sex, it becomes a physical source of pleasure that lasts for a moment. When you grasp the God-intended dimension of the physical union, it becomes a renewal of the marriage covenant that lasts for a lifetime. “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact” (1 Cor. 6:16 the message). . . .

When you consider physical intimacy from God’s perspective, rather than the current culture’s perception, you begin to comprehend the depth and breadth—the weightiness and incredible value—of the gift.

Scriptures: Song of Songs 5:10-16, Ephesians 5:33, 1 Thessalonians 5:11

 Have you forgotten what drew you to your man in the first place? Tomorrow, look at him. Really look at him. Notice his hands. His eyes. His arms. Look at him, and admire his wonderful qualities rather than focusing on his worst.

I wonder what your husband would do if you wrote out your own version of the Shulammite’s appraisal of her man. It might be fun to give it a try. Consider writing such a list and giving it to him. Better yet, read it to him and touch each part of his body as you describe what you admire about it.

When it comes to appreciating our husbands, sometimes we just need a little reminder.

Susan attended a class on marriage. Part of the assignment for one of the weeks was to tell her husband something she admired about him. In all their years together, she had never put her admiration into words. It was a big step for her. She didn’t quite know how to start, even though she loved her husband. That evening, while he was reading the paper, she sat down next to him on the sofa and began stroking his arm. After a bit, she stopped at the bicep and squeezed. He subconsciously flexed his muscle, and she said, “Oh, I never knew you were so muscular!” He put down the paper, looked at her, and inquired, “What else?” He was so starved for admiration, he invited her to say more.

How about your man? When was the last time you told him that you loved his smile or admired his talent? Can’t remember? Well, today could be the day! That’s your homework. Use your words to build up that man of yours.

Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Make the most of the best and the least of the worse.” Too many times we flip what Stevenson said and make the most of the worst and least of the best. Let’s change that. Today. Right now.