Near to the Brokenhearted: How to Heal From Heartbreak God’s Way

Scriptures: Genesis 37:23-28, Genesis 39:21-23, Genesis 45:4-8

Allow God to Redirect You

So when Joseph arrived, his brothers ripped off the beautiful robe he was wearing. Then they grabbed him and threw him into the cistern [pit]. Genesis 37:23-24 NLT

Imagine what it would be like to share your heart with someone you care about. And then, one day as you go out to spend time with them, they do the unthinkable: they hurt you. In a sudden moment, this betrayal made you go from feeling safe, loved, and known, to feeling vulnerable, unwanted, and alone. This is exactly what happened to Joseph. 

The hard truth is—the Bible doesn’t say that Joseph did anything wrong. He was thrown into a pit because his brothers were angry and jealous. 

But his story didn’t end there. 

But the Lord was with Joseph and extended kindness to him… Genesis 39:21 NASB

God never abandoned Joseph, and we eventually see that God redeemed his painful past and brought something good out of it.   

In the same way, when we experience heartbreak and rejection, it often isn’t deserved. And sometimes, like Joseph, we might not even see it coming. Then—suddenly—we’re at the lowest point in our lives feeling hurt, vulnerable, and alone. 

However, like Joseph, our stories are not over. 

God later provided Joseph with an opportunity to lead the people who enslaved him, and he saved thousands of peoples’ lives in the process—including his brothers. Every painful experience from his past prepared him for this purpose because God was always with him.

The good news is–the same God who stayed with Joseph is with us as well. 

Sometimes, God’s redirection causes us pain. This doesn’t mean  that He wants us to experience hurt and rejection, but those things can be side-effects of living in a world that is trying to pull us away from God, not closer to Him.  

But just like Joseph, rejection can lead to God’s redirection. When we allow our loving Father to redirect us, we may be able to look back one day and see all of the goodness God brought from the rejection we’ve experienced. 

Today you may be feeling rejected or heartbroken, but when you  choose to seek your Heavenly Father, He can use this season as an opportunity to draw you closer to His plans and purposes. 

Pray: 

• Thank God for being with you during this season.  
• Ask Him to bring goodness from the rejection and heartbreak you’ve experienced. 

Scriptures: 1 Samuel 1:1-20, Matthew 11:28, Psalms 16:11, Psalms 147:3

Bring Your Hurt to God 

Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the LORD. 1 Samuel 1:10 NLT

Think of a moment that caused you deep hurt. Perhaps you were unfairly criticized by someone close to you. Maybe you had a dream that you couldn’t make happen, or maybe a situation left you feeling alone, unloved, or unwanted. What did you do when you reached your breaking point? 

Unable to have children in a culture that based her worth on that ability, Hannah found herself judged, hurting, and desperate—and so she ran to God for help. When we experience hurt, we can follow Hannah’s example and bring it before the Lord. Here are three reasons why:  

1. He Brings Comfort 

In the book of Matthew, Jesus encourages us to come to Him with our troubles. 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 NIV

Before Hannah left the temple, the priest spoke these words to her: “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant the request you’ve made of him.” 

Our God is a good father—and like any good father, He wants to comfort us when we are hurting. He knows exactly what we need to find peace. For Hannah, this peace came through the words of someone else. 

God brings comfort in many ways, and by coming to God with our heartbreak, we open ourselves up to the abundant peace only the Lord can provide. 

2. He Brings Joy

You will make known to me the way of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11 NASB

During difficult seasons, joy can be found by keeping our hearts and minds focused on God. Because Hannah went to the Lord with her pain, she showed that she trusted Him, and God provided her with the strength she needed to persevere despite her challenges.

Hannah probably didn’t leave the temple that day feeling happy about her circumstances, but she did leave with the knowledge of God’s goodness—and that was enough for her to keep going. 

In the same way, when we stay focused on Jesus, He will help us experience the joy of the Lord—no matter what situation we’re facing. 

3. He Brings Healing and Growth

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 ESV

God healed Hannah’s heart, and He wants to heal yours as well. But healing often takes time. Hannah didn’t see healing immediately—she had to wait to see God’s goodness revealed. Waiting can be a challenge, but God promises we do not have to wait alone. 

God wants to be near you during your heartbreak—to comfort you, but also to help you grow. The nearer you are to God, the more you are able to lean into Him when times are hard, and prepare for the healing to come. 

Scriptures: Exodus 14:10-18, Isaiah 55:8, John 13:7, Romans 8:28

Remember Who is in Control 

As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up and there were the Egyptians coming after them! The Israelites were terrified and cried out to the Lord for help.Exodus 14:10 CSB

Imagine what it would feel like to be an Israelite slave in Egypt. For years, you spend most of your days doing hard labor in the blistering heat and you repeatedly watch your people get mistreated by the Egyptians. 

Then—suddenly—you hear the Pharaoh has agreed to let you leave. As you and the rest of the Israelites begin your journey out of Egypt, the Pharaoh changes his mind. You hear he’s sending hundreds of chariots to retrieve you—and there’s a big body of water blocking your route to freedom. 

Think of the panic you might feel when your leader, Moses, tells you to be still.

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14 NIV

If you look at the end of the story, you’ll realize that if the Israelites had not done what Moses told them, they probably would have made the situation much worse—a lot of people could have been taken back into slavery or even died. But Moses understood that it was best to trust in God and not in his own knowledge or power. 

Being still requires letting go of all control of a situation and trusting God to handle it. When we try to take control of a painful situation, our attempts to manipulate and force change are most likely going to cause more problems. 

If the Israelites hadn’t let go of the situation, they wouldn’t have given God the opportunity to guide them through the Red Sea. It may feel uncomfortable to let go, and it may not make sense at the moment, but God knows better than we do. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 ESV

When we experience a painful situation, we might not understand why, but we can still trust that God knows what He’s doing. Although we may not have an opportunity to see all of His good purposes on this side of eternity, we know that all things work together according to His will. 

Pray:

• Tell God you’re releasing all control of your situation. 
• Ask for His will to preside over every aspect of your life. 

Scriptures: Colossians 3:2-4, Genesis 1:27

Let God Define You

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:2-4 NIV

Take a moment to think about everything that is important to you. How does God fit into that list?

Whenever we elevate anything above God, we’re committing idolatry. Not all heartbreak comes from idolatry, but idolatry can lead to heartbreak. That’s why it’s important to be aware that nothing can replace God’s place in our hearts. If we idolize something, we risk redefining who God called us to be.

We were created by God, for God. And because we were created for God, who we truly are can only be found when we seek Him. Idolizing something and making it the most important aspect of our lives can change how we define ourselves. 

When we try to define who we are with something that is not God, it’s ultimately going to fail us. It’s like trying to patch a sinking boat with chewing gum—it might work for a very short period of time, but we’re not going to stay afloat unless we patch the hole with something sturdy. In the same way, if we place our identities into something (or someone) we love, we might feel fulfilled for a short time, but it ultimately can’t satisfy us the way Christ will.

Defining ourselves by something other than Christ doesn’t mean we don’t love Jesus. But, our love for Jesus should come before our love for anything else. If our priorities are out of line, He will look for opportunities to remind us of who we truly are. And sometimes, He uses heartbreak to show us this. 

When something we idolize lets us down or is taken from us, it can tear apart our sense of identity—leaving us to pick up the pieces. But, if you allow Him to, God can build you a new and stronger identity. He can take the broken pieces of your life and turn it into something that honors Him and brings Him glory. 

Pray:

• Ask God to reveal any idols in your life. 
• Ask for Him to redefine your identity in Him. 
• Ask for God to show you how He sees you.

Scriptures: Genesis 29:16-25, Genesis 29:31-35, Colossians 2:9-10

Seek Your Worth in Christ

Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel… Genesis 29:16-18 NIV

Think about what it’d be like to constantly try to gain acceptance from someone else. You try as hard as you possibly can to measure up and be good enough—but no matter what you do, you just can’t meet their expectations. 

This is exactly what it was like for Leah. 

Because it was normal during the time in which Leah lived, both she and her sister Rachel were married to a man named Jacob. Even though he was committed to both of them, Jacob loved Rachel more—and Leah was very aware of it. 

God saw that Leah was unloved by her husband, so He blessed her with many children (which, in her culture, would have elevated her). But instead of focusing on the fact that the Lord saw her value and blessed her, Leah continued to place all of her worth in what her husband thought of her. We see this reflected in the way she named her sons. 

Leah conceived, gave birth to a son, and named him Reuben, for she said, “The Lord has seen my affliction; surely my husband will love me now.” Genesis 29:32 CSB

With each child, Leah hoped Jacob would finally love her. But despite her efforts, he never gave her what she wanted. 

Sometimes, it’s easy to allow things like a significant other, children, job, or social status define our worth. But finding our true value in what other people think of us is not possible—we’ll never feel satisfied. The only way we can find true satisfaction is when we let God’s view of us define our worth.

We see Leah discover this when she names her final child—she finally begins to see how much the Lord values her, and this time, she chooses to praise Him for it. 

And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” Genesis 29:35 ESV

If we continue to place our value in the acceptance or love of others, we’ll never find the joy the Lord wants for us. Only He can truly fill our hearts and bring us the validation we need. 

Instead of focusing on things around us that are out of our control, let’s choose to focus on God—because only He can help us find the sense of worth we need.

Pray:

• Ask God to help you see how much He truly values you.
• Tell Him what you want to surrender.
• Praise Him for the good things He has given you. 

Scriptures: Hebrews 12:15, Matthew 6:14-15

Forgive Those Who Hurt You

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.Hebrews 12:15 NLT

Imagine that you planted a beautiful garden full of flowers and trees. One day, as you’re tending to your plants, you find the sprout of a parasitic weed in the center of your garden. As a good gardener, you know that if you don’t pull it out before its roots can grow deeper, its roots will overtake those of the plants surrounding it and kill them. 

The “root of bitterness” works the same way—if we allow bitterness toward a person or situation to remain in our hearts, it can overtake the joyful parts of our lives. 

Hanging onto bitterness doesn’t improve the situation—it’s not bringing justice or revenge. We need to be able to catch bitterness early on so we can uproot it before it hurts us and others. This is where forgiveness comes in. Forgiving others doesn’t mean that what they did to us was okay, but it sets us free from bitterness that will only hurt us more. The people who suffer most from unforgiveness are ourselves. 

Why should we forgive? 

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

We forgive because Jesus chose to forgive us when we didn’t deserve it. If we want to reflect the life of Jesus every day, we should be willing to forgive others when they don’t deserve it. 

How do we forgive others?

Forgiveness does not always happen instantaneously—it’s a process and a daily choice. True forgiveness happens when we partner with God by asking Him to help us forgive others as He forgave us. 

It all comes down to an act of repetition. Because we’re human and it’s easy to fall back into bitterness, we’ll have to come back to God regularly and ask for His help with forgiving.

Unfortunately, we probably won’t feel forgiveness the first time we say we forgive someone—but that’s because forgiveness is a partnership with God. If we commit to thinking it and saying it, God will honor our commitment and help us truly forgive. 

Forgiveness is not…

Forgiveness is not a lack of boundaries. You can forgive someone and not pursue a friendship with them, go out with them again, work for them again, etc. 

Forgiveness is not weakness. Actually, forgiving others means you’re strong! Because you are willing to let go of the past and your hurt, you’re choosing to focus your heart on greater things.

Forgiveness is not easy, but it’s a necessary part of healing a broken heart. 

Pray:

• Ask God to help you work towards forgiveness. 

Scriptures: Hebrews 12:1-2, Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, Philippians 4:8, Isaiah 43:18-19, Romans 5:3-5

Moving Forward

Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus… Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV

Imagine you’re running a race with a heavy backpack slung over your shoulders. Performing well in that race would probably be difficult and painful. 

Similarly, when you hold onto heartbreak for too long—it weighs you down and prevents you from moving toward what God has called you to do. 

It’s not wrong to be heartbroken for a time, but the Bible warns us not to let it overstay its welcome: 

There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven … a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1&4 CSB

There’s a time to hurt, but moving on is necessary for our well-being. It can be challenging, but God has given us several approaches for moving forward:

1. Focus on What’s Good

…Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 NLT

One way to approach moving on is to focus on the good. When you make more room for good thoughts, the less room there is for hurtful ones. Challenge yourself to battle negative thoughts or hurtful memories by thanking God for the blessings in your life. 

2. Look Forward

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

Unfortunately, what happened in the past will always be there, and we can’t change what’s happened to us. With God’s help though, we can start to move forward from what we’ve lost and focus instead on the healing He wants to bring. If we focus on what He’s doing, we have an opportunity to partner with Him and be a part of the good things He has planned. 

3. Rejoice 

We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope… Romans 5:3-4 CSB

Moving on gives us a unique opportunity to rejoice—not because we experienced pain, but because we’ve been given a chance to learn. A heartbreaking situation can be one of our most intimate times with God, and when we spend time with God, we learn from Him. We rejoice because with God, we come out of heartbreak with more wisdom. 

Healing is a process, but as we move forward from our past hurt, we can count on God being there every step of the way. 

Pray: 

God, thank You for being near me during my heartbreak, and for helping me bind up my wounds. As I move forward, help me to focus on Your love for me, Your love for others, and the goodness of Your will. In Jesus’ name, Amen.