As a parent of teens, you probably wonder how to keep social media, culture, and peers from having a stronger voice than God in their lives. Jeffrey Dean wants to remind you that you are still the greatest influence in your child’s life—and that’s good news! Use this guide to spend the next five days in intentional reflection and prayer for your teen as you parent with purpose and hope.
WaterBrook Multnomah
Day 1
Scripture: James 5:16
Everything You Need
God has given you everything you need to be the exact parent your teen needs. And He never would have given you the privilege of being a parent if He didn’t have an awesome plan for you.
That’s why your greatest parenting strategy is to use His Word. It’s not your responsibility to prop up your teen or to save your son or daughter. Instead, it’s your calling to teach discernment and provide a solid foundation from which your teen will learn to live from a biblical perspective.
With that in mind, let’s look at five critical foundational truths for parenting in the teen years:
1. You are the most influential person in your teen’s life—more so than any friend, coach, teacher, pastor, boyfriend, girlfriend, or celebrity.
2. Your teen wants you to be involved in his life. Contrary to the lie of Satan and regardless of the many times your teen rolls his eyes before storming out of the room, he wants you to be an involved parent.
3. No matter what is culturally accepted, nothing is more authoritative than the truth of God’s Word. It is up to you to communicate His truths to your family. Don’t allow yourself to be swayed by rules, values, and assumptions that come from any source other than the Bible.
4. You are a parent, not a pal. Teenagers don’t need their parents to be their friends; they need them to be parents.
5. You have to be willing to enter into discussions that make you uncomfortable. You need to be the constant voice of reason and truth, the adult who is willing to talk about anything and will compromise nothing.
Parenting is likely the toughest job you will ever have. You need to be equipped. But God has given you the incredible privilege to encourage your teen to live wholeheartedly for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the one who is greater than anything this world can throw her way.
Father, I thank You for the call You have placed on my life to be the parent my child needs at this moment. I know You have a special plan for my teen and for me in this journey. Please guide me as I work to be the parent You already know I can be. I am thankful that You are here with me every step of the way. Amen.
Day 2
Scripture: 1 Peter 5:8
Dreaming Big
No matter how it looks on the surface, every teen is trying to answer questions such as “Who am I?” “What am I going to do with my life?” and “Who will give me the answers I need about life, love, college, finances, sex, and gender identity?” The disregard for moral absolutes and the roller-coaster definitions of truth and falsehood in our culture create a toxic environment through which your teen must find her way mentally and spiritually.
Social media is a significant part of the questions your teen is asking and the answers she is finding. Posting to Snapchat is the first thing most teens do in the morning and often the last thing they do in the evening. Cell phones have become vital appendages.
The reality of social media demands that you understand how it is shaping your teen—and you! Your teen wants and needs an involved, engaged, all-in parent. Even when your teen’s words don’t say it, she needs her parents every day. Even though we often don’t know what our kids are thinking or feeling, we are called to dream big, pray like mad, and never give up hope.
Also remember that no matter how hard you work at being the best mom or dad, your teen is a human being with free will. She can and will mess up—more than once. Satan doesn’t base his disdain for your child on whether she makes the honor roll or does meth. He hates young people who are conscientious, responsible, and compassionate just as much as he hates teens who are bullies, refuse to accept responsibility, and remain on probation after breaking the law. Satan wants every teen, including your teen, to fail.
That’s why I challenge you to surrender your will, your wants, your theories, and your priorities to God every day. Ask Him to lead every area of your life. God could have chosen anyone to be the parent of your teen. But He didn’t choose just anyone; He chose you!
God, my first step in parenting [teen’s name] is for me to know You more, spend time in Your Word, and be in prayer for my family. I ask that you lead every area of my life so that [teen’s name] will see the joy and peace You alone can bring. Amen.
Day 3
Scripture: John 3:30
It’s All About Me
You probably have watched your teen stop everything in order to capture a flawless selfie. Mobile devices with vastly improved cameras have changed how teens perceive themselves and elevated their concern over how others perceive them.
My daughter Brynnan explained that everyone wants to be in the “one-hundred-likes club.” This refers to attaining a minimum of one hundred likes with each Instagram post. Here’s what’s alarming: selfies aren’t merely snapshots of how our teens are living; they are demonstrations of teens’ obsession with getting the perfect selfie, which has changed how they live.
For some teens it may be less about social media, snaps, and selfies and more about something equally important to them in their state of self-obsession. I recently prayed with a locker room full of high school football players before they took the field. Gabe, a wide receiver, explained his and his teammates’ obsession with having perfect bodies. “All of us guys are completely consumed with our bodies. We see NFL players who are cut and are amazing athletes. We all want to have amazing bodies. I guess you could say it’s our obsession.”
Whether it involves selfies, a perfect body, money, the right clothes, the latest gadget, or a jacked-up truck, this generation has grown up embracing the slogan “I have to have the best, be the best, and look the best.”
Satan is winning in this arena. In what appears to be merely innocent tweets, posts, and snaps, the Enemy is working to instill in young people the idea of “It’s my life, and I can live as I please and post as I live.”
Obviously, Jesus never commented specifically on social media, but He knew the effect it would have on this generation. John the Baptist—who attracted crowds with his preaching, baptizing, and proclamation of the coming Messiah—pointed out in John 3 that his own fame was not the goal.
In order for our teens to honor God with their lives, they must be less concerned with themselves and far more focused on God’s plan and purpose for them. Satan wants the opposite. As your teen becomes more self-absorbed, Satan wants her to grow less and less spiritually engaged with Jesus Christ.
Lord, I want [teen’s name] to want Your approval more than anyone else’s. Help me know how to teach her what this looks like every day. Amen.
Day 4
Scripture: Joshua 1:7-9
Strong and Courageous
The culture has become increasingly secular and often discriminatory toward religion, Christianity in particular. In light of that, help your teen solidify in his mind the answers to these questions.
1. Do I believe the Bible is the absolute truth of God?
2. Do I believe Christianity is distinct from other religions?
3. Do I believe there are multiple ways to get to heaven?
4. Do I believe that all other religions are false?
5. Do I believe in the deity of Jesus?
Your teen should be able to clearly defend what he believes. You might be asking how you can do that.
We find the answer in Joshua 1. God told Joshua to follow His laws carefully. This command to “meditate on” and “be careful to do everything written in” is one requiring a focused discipline.
God wants you and your family to have a well-grounded confidence in who He is. He knows that this confidence will not take shape without hard work. My older brother, Kent, just finished running his first marathon. He is fifty years old and understood that getting from the starting line to the finish line would require strong discipline. He knew that without hard work, he would never be successful. God knew that in order for Joshua to be successful in leading the nation of Israel, he, too, would have to work hard. He would have to above all study, know, and reflect on Scripture.
The more you read and meditate on the Bible, the more you believe in God. His Word teaches us how to place confidence in who He is and who He has created us to be. Romans 1:19–20 and Psalm 19:1 teach us that we can see God’s glory, thus placing confidence in who He is, by looking at His creation. Just as our physical eyes see proof of the wonders of the earth, our spiritual eyes see proof of the wonders of who God is. Your teen counts on you to lead him into the wonders of God’s Word.
Lord, I confess that today’s culture sometimes confuses me too, even swaying me to wonder what is really truth. I want to be immersed in your Word so that I can answer these five questions well and help [teen’s name] to answer them too. Guide us into all truth. Amen.
Day 5
Scripture: Jeremiah 29:11-13
All Your Heart
You may feel burdened about the state of today’s teens. I find great comfort in the words of the Hebrew prophet Jeremiah in Jeremiah 29:11. No matter how maddening the world is, God is still in control. He wants to bless your teen with an abundant life and remind you that you are the one He chose to help convey this truth to her.
What is the key to inheriting this promise? The answer is found in the next two verses in Jeremiah. The key words for you and everyone in your family are all your heart. We find hope when we choose to seek God wholeheartedly.
Satan knows that if he can prevent your teen from pursuing a committed relationship with Jesus Christ, he likely has gained a soul. Satan knows the good plans God has for your teen, and he schemes to release all hell on earth to keep him from becoming everything God promises.
But Scripture tells us in 1 John 4:4 that “The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). Although Satan is out to end it all for my kids and yours, we have One on our side who is greater than any lie from Satan. No matter how hard Satan works to deceive, we, too, must work hard to empower our teenagers to understand the errors of this culture.
Your goal isn’t to have a perfect teen. It is to be a guide toward truth as he navigates an ever-changing world. I want my daughters to live in obedience to the standards set in Scripture. I want them to know the difference between right and wrong and choose to do what honors God. I want them to become everything God desires for them.
Jesus said in Matthew 22:37 that the greatest commandment is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength” (ncv). Our calling, and our privilege, is to raise children who aspire to love Jesus Christ with every facet of their lives.
God, you have plans for a future and a hope for [teen’s name]. You are greater than anything he will encounter at school, at home, at work, or in the world today. May each of us in our family seek you with all our heart. Amen.