Rockstar Grandparent

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

“The Season of Grandparenting”

“To everything there is a season.” We will each take our turn at being a child, a teenager, a mom or dad, and then a grandparent.

Right after “To everything there is a season” in the King James translation of today’s Scripture reading comes this phrase: “and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Finding our purpose. “Whoa! That’s heavy,” as we used to say in the ’60s.

Many years ago I read an essay about the end of our lives and how great it is that our grandchildren see only the end and not the beginning. I’ve thought of that many times as I watched my parents in their grandparenting and great-grandparenting roles. I understand the premise, for sure, and know there are things we all did in our youth that we wish we hadn’t, but still, it would have been fun for my children to see my parents when they were young and vibrant. John Luke would have played racquetball with my dad, and the girls would have bowled or played tennis with my mom. 

That would have been fun. But as much as I love fun, life isn’t all about the fun things. It’s about the fruitful things—the things that are intangible.

It’s funny how, by definition, intangible things are things we can­not hold or grasp, yet it’s the intangibles we hold on to with the firmest grip. When it was time for my parents to stop playing racquetball and hang out in the bowling alley, they never stopped the most important things in life, such as being kind, loving unconditionally, and whispering prayers of hope, peace, and joy.

In your grandparenting role, you are no less important than you have been at any time in your life. It’s just a new time. It’s time to look at what you’ve accomplished and see what your next step is. It’s your turn to be the wise one; the experienced one; the tried, true, and tested one; and the one who can pass that wisdom, experience, and tested-ness (okay, maybe not a real word, but you get it) on to the next generation. 

Our future generations depend on you and me!

Rockstar grandparent, take action! Take time to assess how you’ve done as a grandparent so far. Begin journaling (or at least noodling in your head) some changes you can adopt to make the most of this season of grandparenting.

Scriptures: Proverbs 3:27, Galatians 6:2

“Truly Helpful”

Many times, what we perceive as helpful isn’t. I know that’s hard to hear. We go out of our way to do what we think is the helpful thing for our children and grandchildren, but some­times it’s not helpful at all. 

A young mom at our church was devastated after her mother came to help her after the birth of her second baby. The young mom envisioned her mother helping with the two-year-old and doing things like the laundry and cooking. But her mom declared she came to see the new baby and spent three days holding the baby and doing little else. The young mom was frustrated and exhausted when her mom’s visit was over.

Here is my opinion, and you can take it or leave it. Our first responsibility is to our children, the ones we raised. We need to look to see that what we are doing is helping them first and foremost. Our second responsibility is to help our grandchildren. 

In the situation with the young mom from our church, the adult child needed help. The grandchild was perfectly fine sleeping next to her mom or in her bed. The new mama needed her mom to help her in other ways besides holding the baby.

Help can come in many forms. As parents, we pulled teeth, ban­daged skinned knees, offered advice to complete an essay, made brown­ies, taught batting, drove car pools, and much more. As tired as we were during those days, there is a tiny bit of sadness when they’re over. There may even be a few years of bruised ego when you think no one needs you anymore. But grandchildren are notorious game changers, and your next chapter is about to be written by you and your grandchildren. Get ready. 

Family is God’s great design for teaching us how to live in a com­munity. Ultimately, we aim to live in heaven with millions of other believers. God needs to get us ready for that glorious event. Until then, we need to keep on learning by helping others—truly helping them—here on earth, and that starts with our families.

Rockstar grandparent, take action! Have a conversation with your adult child and ask, “What could I do that would be most helpful to you?” And humbly receive it.

Scripture: Deuteronomy 4:9-10

“Out-of-Retirement Teacher”

We all know stories of young men and women who grew up in challenging situations but, as adults, chose a different path and were highly successful. And the opposite is true. We know adults who were taught well by their parents but tossed their value system out the win­dow for a contrary lifestyle. Because this is true, there is never a reason to stop teaching our children well. 

The Bible makes this very clear in Deuteronomy 4:9–10, where we are told to pass on what we have learned about the Lord to our children and grandchildren, so that they will follow God and become godly teachers to children in their turn.

In yesterday’s devotional, we looked at the importance of family and how family is our first look at community. If we don’t show our children and grandchildren how to do life according to God’s plan, who will? This means that, as adults, we are in teaching mode nearly all the time.

I realize this can be exhausting. I understand that sometimes we just do not want to be responsible anymore. I remember those days as a mom when I didn’t want my children to say my name ever again! I was overwhelmed with “Mom,” “Mom,” “Mom” being said by three needy children. Then they stopped calling my name so much. Then they grew up. Before I knew it, they were making decisions on their own and ap­plying the things I taught them. And they didn’t need me so much.

Soon the grandkids came along and I became 2-mama. I once again put on my teaching hat and waited to be needed to answer a question or teach a lesson or show how to make or mend something. Teaching our children to live by the code we have lived by is the number-one goal we should have in life—before making a lot of money, sticking to any diet, building a new house, running in a mara­thon, or anything else.

Will all of them get it? Maybe not. It’s not our responsibility for them to get it, but it is our responsibility to give it.

Rockstar grandparent, take action! Keeping in mind the stages of life your grandchildren are in, the next time you’re together, plan to share a story about your past that could become a teachable moment for their own lives. 

Scriptures: Psalms 92:14, Ecclesiastes 11:6

“Stay Green”

Hopefully you’ve lived your dreams and are now entering your grandparenting years feeling fulfilled in many areas. But life is not over, and we should not view it as such. Whatever number of years you have left is time enough to set new goals, reach new heights, and explore new adventures. As Psalm 92 says, you can still be green and vital, growing and fruitful, in old age.

We have two big jobs as grandparents. As we saw in yesterday’s devotional, one is being a teacher. The other is being a student—learning and trying new things. Both jobs are important to foster a great relationship with our grandchildren. 

What are your grands learning from you about growing as a person? Grandparents are the perfect choice for showing children what the expression “Broaden your horizon” means. 

Let’s face it—our grandchildren are living in a tiny box with a screen that supplies friends and fake adventures but little real-life experience. They need us to be the hands and feet of life outside a box. We need to show them what life is like when they put the phone down and do…anything. 

And it’s fun to keep them guessing about the talents we have acquired over the years. 

One day in church, two of my grands were using sign language to com­municate with each other. I had learned sign language. But my grands didn’t know this…until I reached over and signed, “What are you two doing?” 

They both looked at me with huge eyes and signed, “Did you read our sign language?” 

I just shrugged and went back to listening to the preacher. 

Thomas Jefferson is quoted as saying, “If you want something you’ve never had, you have to be willing to do something you’ve never done.” I love that! This life is full of new adventures and crazy ideas and fun experiences and remarkable opportunities, but we have to take the first step toward embracing them. 

If you feel as though you’re stuck in a grandparenting rut, it’s time to dig out of the rut and make a checklist of new adventures. Whatever it is that you’re feeling passionate about, start now. 

Rockstar grandparent, take action! Your next twenty years will not go any slower than the previous twenty, so don’t delay. Sign up today for anything you want to do!

Scriptures: Psalms 78:4, 3 John 1:4

“Shine Your Light”

While my husband and I are in the stage of life that offers us fewer days, we are not content to be done yet. We still have a family to lead and children to influence for good. Our job is to leave a legacy for our children and grandchildren that will cause them to continue to fight for what is right and good. 

The Bible often speaks about heritage and legacy living. From the verses in today’s Scripture—and many more like them—we see the impor­tance of leaving the things we value to our children and grandchildren. 

A legacy is simply what people want to pass down to their offspring. Business ideas, valued principles, lifestyle choices, family recipes, favor­ite traditions, and (if there is any left) money are all examples of the kinds of things people value and want to leave with their family when they are gone. Sadly, many families fight over the money left to them after the death of a loved one, when it’s the intangible things that really hold the most importance.

I think of leaving a legacy as shining your light, making a difference in the lives of those around you. Your light doesn’t have to be the biggest and brightest light to make an impact on your family. You have to shine only enough to affect your corner of the world with love and happiness.

I have a precious memory of Sadie and Macy combing 2-papa’s hair into the craziest hairdo while we rode the subway to the US Open. The kids will never remember who played that day or who won. They will remember 2-papa letting them fix his hair and everyone on the subway laughing at him. In that moment, 2-papa was a shining example of let­ting go and having fun with his grandkids.

There’s no amount of money or fame that can take the place of making your grandkids feel loved, protected, and supported. They won’t care if you own the com­pany or if you won the Super Bowl, but they will remember you chasing them around the living room, growling like a bear, or bringing them cookies before a big game.

Shining as grandparents is the easiest shine we’ll ever do. It doesn’t require much, but it offers everything. 

I know you can do it. Why? Because you’re a rock star!

Rockstar grandparent, take action! When you are with your grandchildren, don’t worry so much about where to go and what to do. Focus on leaving them with memories of who you are, what they mean to you, and how much they are loved.