Seven Days To “From Me to We” Bible Plan

Scriptures: Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 7:39

Title: Sacred Affair 

Bible Reference(s): Genesis 2:18 – “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’”

Devotional Content:

Marriage is a sacred affair. It’s a high calling—one of the highest callings we can be commissioned for. If God called you to this, he is expecting great things from you. Never underestimate the power,sacredness, and influence being a wife has on God’s kingdom. The marriage covenant is a holy union—holy and designed by God. Marriage is a vow for life. Not just until you don’t feel like being married anymore. A promise for life. First Corinthians 7:39 says, “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives…” Bound. Bound as in, tied to and bonded forever. Marriage is serious business to God. 

When you honor your spouse, you honor God. Your marriage can be a tool God can use to point people to Him when you have a God-centered marriage. Did you know it is through giving in marriage that you will  receive the greatest joy? Marriage at its best is two people loving each other selflessly. When loving unconditionally and selflessly can be mastered, your union  will feel like heaven. That’s right. You can experience heaven here on earth when your marriage is centered on God. He created it, and when we follow his instructions, not only will God be glorified, contentment will overflow. 

Here’s a secret all successful married couples know: marriage isn’t about you. It’s not about you being happy or your spouse being happy. Yes, extreme joy and happiness can be a by-product of marriage—that’s the way God designed it. In order to obtain the kind of marriage that honors God, you must fight against your innate selfish nature. When everything inside of you screams, I need to take care of ME and look out for ME. You need to bury self-centered thinking and think in terms of what is best for your relationship. Think in terms of what’s best for WE.

Are you madly in love? Do you treat him well? Decide that you will treat your spouse better tomorrow than you did today. Strive to one up yourself daily. Even when you don’t feel like it. Leave him love letters on the bathroom mirror with lipstick, cheer for him when he picks up his socks or opens jars for you. Make him his favorite dessert, just because. Or better yet, be his favorite dessert. Kindnesses will grow your marriage into an example God will use until death do you part. 

So what? Offer one, or more, acts of kindness you can show your husband today. 

Dear God, help me be the wife you’ve called me to be today. Display your glory through my marriage and in the ways I treat my husband. 

Scriptures: Genesis 2:24-25, Deuteronomy 13:4, Ecclesiastes 4:12

Title: Clinging for Life

Bible Reference(s): Genesis 2:24-25 – “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” 

Deuteronomy 13:4 – “You shall follow the LORD your God and fear Him; and you shall keep His commandments, listen to His voice, serve Him, and cling to Him.” 

Devotional Content: 

In Hebrew, to be joined to or cleave in Genesis 2:24 is the word dabaq which means “to cling to” or “to stick to” or “to stay close to.” The word dabaq is also used in Deuteronomy 13:4, “You shall follow the Lord your God and fear Him; and you shall keep His commandments, listen to His voice, serve Him, and cling to Him.” 

God uses the same Hebrew word in marriage—instructing us to cling to our husband—that he uses when instructing us to follow and “stick” to our Lord. 

In no other human relationship does God instruct us to dabaq or cling. Stuck like glue comes to mind. After we say “I do,” we’re stuck like glue. What feelings and emotions does the idea of being stuck like glue bring up for you? 

As women, we yearn for security, safety, and faithfulness. God provides this security for us when we follow his command to cling to our spouse. Not our friends, not our mom, not our daddy, we cling to our husband. Extended relationships are good and a healthy part of overall emotional wellbeing, but clinging needs only happen with our spouse. 

Clinging constitutes a team of two. A dynamic duo. This means if your spouse has a problem or struggle, your marriage has a struggle. You can’t point a finger; it falls on both of you. It’s not YOU have challenge. It’s WE have a challenge. In marriage, all problems are a WE problem, not a YOU problem. In Ecclesiastes 4:12 it says, “And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”

We first cling to God…and then, to our spouse, and our powerful and holy strand of three will not be “quickly torn apart.” A united, cemented fortress of a strong marriage will prove to be a powerful tool for God. One he will use in mighty ways. 

Will you allow God to use your marriage? 

So what? Focus on putting your husband first in all things and look for ways to display this priority by considering him in all decisions.

Dear God, embed in my heart that I am exemplifying Your glory when I change my mindset to thinking in terms of “three strands,” and in a WE fashion. Give me insight and help me see the opportunities to put my husband first in my day to day. 

Scriptures: Colossians 3:12-13, Matthew 18, Mark 8:23, John 9:6-7, 2 Kings 5, 1 John 5:3-4

Title: Abnormal Compassion 

Bible Reference(s): Colossians 3:12-13 – “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”

Devotional Content:

Forgiveness can be one of the hardest commands God has asked of us, and yet in marriage, it is vitality and breath. The health of your marriage depends on being skilled at forgiving. When you refuse to forgive, it’s like putting your marriage in prison—much like the foolish unforgiving slave in Matthew 18. 

Forgiveness can feel unnatural, inhumane, unthinkable, but still, God asks it of us. And not just extended to our spouse but to all—as in, everyone. Following Jesus Christ sometimes means accepting and acting on commands which don’t make sense. Do you think the blind man in Mark 8:23 thought it was a good idea to have Jesus’ spit placed in his eyes? And yet, that’s the exact compliance which gave him his sight. How about the blind man in John 9:6-7 when Jesus made mud from his spit, applied the “clay” to the blind man’s eyes, and told him to then go and wash in the Pool of Siloam? A bit strange, but it gave him his sight. And let’s not forget about the captain Naaman who had Leprosy in 2 Kings 5. The prophet Elisha instructed him to wash in the Jordan river not once, not twice, but seven times. Initially, Naaman was downright angry refusing to comply, and finally at the urging of his servants, followed through. And guess what? He was healed. It was weird, but he was healed. 

Even when things don’t feel natural, we must follow God’s commands. First John 5:3-4 tells us, “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.”

Faith means following through on even the strange, weird, or difficult requests of God—like forgiving when everything inside of you screams, “This hurts and I don’t want to forgive.” 

In order to have a heart free from bitterness, wrath, and resentment, we must master the art of forgiveness.

Always remember that forgiveness started with God, the creator and sustainer of life, who created all things. All things. Including forgiveness. He first forgave us. 

Refusing to forgive and allowing resentment to creep in will give Satan a foothold in your marriage, attacking the core of your vulnerability and trust. Resentment causes us to focus on ME. Satan wants you to focus on “me” and destroy “we.” A lack of forgiveness will slowly erode trust and build resentment. A lack of trust will affect all areas of your relationship from communication to sex. 

If you are going to keep a forgiveness score chart, keep track of the times your husband has forgiven you.

So what? Decide today that you will take every hurt to God first and work out any resentments accumulated along your happily-ever-after way. Hold no grudges. 

Dear God, please give me the ability to forgive whatever—and I mean whatever—offense comes my way. Give me a heart which loves all out and forgives all out with no grudges carried along my “loving” way. 

Scriptures: Romans 12:2, Philippians 4:8, Psalms 54:4

Title: Praiseworthy

Bible Reference(s): Romans 12: 2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Devotional Content:

I was feeling particularly needy and insecure. Can you relate? Instead of going to God, I went to my husband hoping he’d fill me with “truth.” I asked him, “Do you love me?” I was hoping to hear words of affirmation and adoration. But instead he said, “I come home, don’t I?” Dagger! Of course you come home. This is where your dog is. And your garage and bed! I walked away feeling more empty and insecure and alone…and unloved. I walked away wounded,and said nothing. Foolishly, I regurgitated this lie that I was unloved. Finally after a couple of weeks passed, I asked my husband again and clarified what he had said. He repeated the dreaded words, “I come home, don’t I?” Why did I ask again? This is brutal! Only this time he continued on, “I love coming home. I love coming home to you. There are lots of other things I could do, but I always want to come home.” 

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8). 

We choose what we dwell on. Dwelling on a lie piles havoc on your life…and your marriage. Was it true that my husband didn’t love me? Was nurturing destructive thoughts lovely or praiseworthy? No. Had I gone to God first, the giver and sustainer of life? No. 

“Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul” (Psalm 54:4). 

Had I focused on the truth of God’s Word, a different conversation would have ensued. When we allow a lie to permeate our thoughts, it will destroy our insides, which causes us to focus on “me.” The result of focusing on a lie and over focusing on “me” will weaken the trust and respect and love in your marriage…it weakens “we.” 

The next time your feelings begin to run the “love” show, ask yourself, is this true? The next time you find yourself dwelling on misguided negativity, ask yourself, is this good? The next time you find yourself complaining, ask yourself, is this excellent? 

In order to have a strong marriage, and one which honors God, we must focus on truth and that which is honorable and good. 

So what? Today, dwell on what is good about your life, and especially what is excellent about your husband. 

Dear God, help me to look for and see the best in my husband. Guide my thoughts to only what is fruitful and good and pure. 

Scriptures: Proverbs 31:12, Psalms 141:3, Proverbs 31:26

Title: Doing Good

Bible Reference(s): Proverbs 31:12 – “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Devotional Content:

What does it mean to do good? Certainly to do good means to do no harm or not to hinder. Even after thirty-five years of marriage—and giving it my all to “do good”—I still fail miserably. More times than I’d like to admit. Doing good is not only with our actions, it is with our words as well. Ouch!

Is this hitting home for you? 

This principle was brought to light in a whole new fashion for me recently. God impressed on my heart that even though I feel as though I’m offering help and support for my husband if my perceived “help” is causing stress, then, it is not help at all, but instead, it’s “harm.” Yes, we are still talking about words. What we allow to come out of our mouths can have huge ramifications. Words have tremendous power—words can heal…words can build up…words can intimidate…and words can harm. 

Sometimes the best support we can offer is silence. A listening ear can prove more impactful than rambling words a significant percentage of the time. A prudent and helpful wife will become proficient at exercising this verse: “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3). 

If we open the “door to our lips” in order to make “me” feel better, we need to ask, “Will this be fruitful for my marriage? It might make ME feel better, but will it make WE stronger?” Also consider what is said to others as well. Complaining about him to your mom, or a girlfriend may seem harmless, but this can cause destructive thoughts, which in turn, will produce destructive feelings—feelings that you take home with you and spew out all over him. 

It all simmers down to this: “She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26).

So what? Decide today that you will be mindful of all the words coming out of your mouth. Decide today that you will apologize for destructive words that pass through the “door of your lips.” Decide today to be the “help” that your husband needs. 

Dear God, give me the discernment to know which words will help and which words will hinder. May I be a woman who opens her mouth in wisdom and teaches kindness. 

Scriptures: Psalms 143:10, Proverbs 4:23

Title: Grace-filled Gratefulness

Bible Reference(s): Psalm 143:10 – “Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” 

Devotional Content:

Expecting a husband to satisfy all of your desires and needs will create a huge gap in your marriage. No one person can fulfill all of your wants and needs. It’s a surefire road to discontentment. If you are looking to marriage to bring missing peace, happiness, and contentment, all you’ll be left with is an even greater gap between you and your expectations. When we have expectations in order to fill ME, and our husband falls shorts of our desires, the result will be a deficit in WE. 

On the other hand, when we are thankful for every kind gesture and thoughtful word, we will soon find our hearts overflowing with love and grace and gratefulness. What you allow to permeate your thoughts and actions will take over and rule you. 

We control what settles in our hearts, and it all begins with self-talk and the attitude we use as we approach each new day. When we go to God for our needs, security, and peace, HE will fill us to the point of overflow. 

It’s important to be firmly grounded on the truths of God’s Word and focus on surrendering your life to God; it’s only then that you will be able to yield and be subject to another person. We will find wholeness and satisfaction when God supplies us with our contentment, and from this supply, we unselfishly give putting the other person first. 

Continual thankfulness will cure our longing, expecting heart for more and for ME. “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

How do we do this?

First, never allow the extraordinary to become ordinary. Coming to know Jesus Christ, finding your husband, walking in grace daily—all of these things are extraordinary! Moreover, reason for celebration. Don’t allow what’s extraordinary to become common, dispassionate, aloof—ordinary to you. 

And, fill your heart with thankfulness. Thank you, God, for men’s dirty socks—dirty socks mean a man is in my house. Thank you, God, for whiskers in the sink, which mean a well-groomed husband. Thank you, God, for a man who comes home late—because he came home. Thank you, God, for life and sight and breath. 

Discontentment cannot grow in a grateful, thankful heart. 

So what? Begin each day with words, thoughts, and prayers of thankfulness. Like the old hymn goes… Count your blessings; name them one by one. Count your blessings; see what God has done!

Dear God, help me to look for and see the blessings of each day, and especially help me to seek out and ruminate on the many good qualities my husband possesses. 

Scriptures: Proverbs 31:10, Ephesians 5:33, Lamentations 3:22-23, Ephesians 5:1-2

Title: Godly Excellence

Bible Reference(s): Proverbs 31:10 – “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” 

Devotional Content:

I was struck with a profound marriage recharger in a most unlikely place—watching a fictitious TV show. Here’s the recap: a couple was on a date when he became her hero by rescuing her daughter who was in trouble. I got choked up as I watched the female character beam with delight as her new heartthrob saved the day. 

An excellent wife looks for the hero in her man. “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). What better way to respect your husband than to see him as a hero? 

When we follow what God says, it can be an act of worship. Titles such as cheerleader, servant, faithful one, encourager, fan can take on a whole new meaning if we look on those titles as godly. Being an excellent wife is a calling—and one which is of great importance to God.

The opposite of seeing your husband as your hero would be to take on the role of professional wife critic. When you criticize your man, what he hears is “I don’t trust you. I don’t respect you. I don’t think you’re doing it right.” Always treat him like he’s the smartest, most capable man in the world. 

Anytime we tumble into disrespectful behavior toward our husband, we dishonor God, and we dishonor our marital vows. What does one do if this happens? Apologize and start over. With God, each day is a chance to start over. “The LORD’S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23). 

He needs your respect. God commands it. When God commands something, he means business, and we need to follow what he says if we want to have a flourishing, God-honoring marriage. God has wired a man in such a way that he—seeks, needs, longs for—the approval of his wife. Seeing him as your hero will safeguard your respect for him. When he offers his help—he’s your hero. When he gives you a listening ear—he’s your hero. When he works hard—he’s your hero. When he gives you a tender embrace—he’s your hero. 

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma” (Ephesians 5:1-2). 

How you treat your husband is a reflection of how godly you are and how surrendered to Jesus Christ you are. Swapping “me” thinking for “we” thinking will not only honor God but will land you at happily-ever-after. 

So what? Look for ways you can premier your husband as the role of your hero. Praise him in public. Compliment him in private. Cheer for him with large and small successes. 

Dear God, help me be the excellent wife you describe in scripture. Give me wisdom to know the difference between critic and cheerleader.