Vanessa Torres offers compassionate guidance rooted in faith to support and empower survivors on their journey of restoration.
Butterfly Blogs
Day 1
Scriptures: Exodus 20:12, Mark 12:31, Psalms 34:18, Proverbs 25:11, Romans 12:15, Galatians 6:2
Beyond the Bruises
Susan was brought up in a troubled home. Her parents constantly fought and her dad regularly hit her with a belt leaving welts and bruises. During her formative years, Susan felt as if she was invisible. She had no support system, no adult friend, and no reliable parent she could trust. She could barely get her words out as she described the betrayal she felt when articulating how her mother turned a blind eye to the situation and never came to her rescue. “I will never forgive her for that.”
Others who were engaged in this conversation adamantly agreed that Susan’s sentiments were justified. My soul grieved as I processed her childhood stories and concurred that no child should ever have to endure what she did. Later that evening, I reflected on Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and mother, that your days be long in the land the Lord your God is giving you,” feeling compelled to share it with Susan. In my eagerness to address her statement about her mother, I overlooked the importance of compassion and empathy. The next morning, I called Susan without expressing my genuine concern or offering a non-judgmental ear. Susan hung up the phone and stopped speaking to me for two years .…
In a world filled with distractions and conflicting messages, supporting those who are broken can be a delicate task. As followers of Christ, our focus should be on wholeheartedly loving God and edifying one another. While the fundamental commandment is to love God with everything we have, it is equally vital to prioritize loving and supporting others, as exemplified by Jesus. In reaching out to Susan, I should have emphasized the importance of compassion and understanding, aligning my actions with Mark 12:31, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
When responding to Susan it was important to approach her with empathy, respect, and a genuine desire to understand her perspective. Sadly, I learned this during the long, two-year period without her friendship. I longed to speak with her, apologize, acknowledge her pain, and express my understanding of the betrayal she experienced, and the impact it had on her life. Susan did not return my calls but I was confident in God’s grace and desire to bring healing and comfort to her (Psalm 34:18) as He taught me some important lessons:
- What you say and how you say it matters. The Lord showed me the importance of a word fitly spoken. (Proverbs 25:11)
- Empathy and understanding are visible. (Romans 12:15) Offering support and understanding is crucial to loving others. The Lord taught me that every individual’s journey is unique, and healing from such traumatic experiences can be complex. He heals the broken-hearted and uses us as his ambassadors of empathy and understanding.
While the friendship with my dear friend has been restored, I am thankful for the powerful lessons I learned and how the Lord has gently taught me to support and help carry the burdens of those who are struggling. (Galatians 6:2) Our God will give us hope in the silence and can transform any situation when we apply His holy Word to our circumstances.
Day 2
Scriptures: Mark 8:22-25, Ephesians 4:2, Hebrews 10:24-25, Galatians 6:2, Psalms 34:18
Seeing Clearly the Second Time
From a tender age, I welcomed the Lord into my heart, seeking His comfort and healing from the deep wounds inflicted on me during a traumatic childhood. Over the years, I diligently pursued wisdom and strength, aiming to recover from the consequences of another’s actions. However, a troubling pattern emerged whenever I encountered a particular family member. Simple conversations would trigger intense anger and emotional turmoil within me. These reactions, though puzzling, held valuable insights into my internal and external experiences. I gradually realized that the pain of my past had embedded itself deeply within me, never truly fading away. Unbeknownst to me, I had grown accustomed to carrying this burden, finding a false sense of comfort in my incomplete healing. God was not done with me.
I was recently reading the story of the man in the Bible, whom Jesus touched, and whose eyes were cleared. (Mark 8:22-25) The first time Jesus touched him, the man said he could see men as trees, indicating that his eyesight was much better. A miracle was performed, yet he was still unable to decipher specific traits of men. Jesus touched the man again, and it was not until the second time that the man could see everything.
The blind man’s story is very parallel to my own experiences. I believed I had been healed, yet in those moments of emotional discomfort, I recognized the significance of seeking another touch from Jesus. Just as the blind man’s vision became clearer after the second touch, I understood that I had to return to Jesus, allowing His transformative power to bring complete healing and restoration to the lingering pain within me.
- Do you know someone who continues to struggle with a broken past? Be patient: Healing from childhood trauma takes time and varies for each individual and progress may not always be linear. Offer ongoing support and be there for them consistently.
Ephesians 4:2 encourages us to approach others with humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with them in love. It reminds us that healing is a journey that takes time and requires understanding and support from those around us. By being patient and consistently present for someone who has experienced childhood trauma, we can demonstrate the love and care that reflect the character of Christ.
I mustered up the courage to discuss my emotional reaction to my sister. She asked very probing questions that led me to seek understanding and guidance from the Word of God. My sister explained that my responses to the particular family member were out of my character and encouraged me to seek healing for wounds that had been covered over time. I am very grateful for her spiritual guidance.
In the story of the blind man, it was others who brought the man to Jesus. Hebrews 10:24-25 teaches us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” This passage emphasizes the importance of gathering together as a community of believers and encouraging one another to love and engage in good deeds. It reminds us to actively support and uplift one another in our faith journey.
In a world marked by brokenness and pain, we are called to be agents of healing, demonstrating the love of Christ in tangible ways. Let us be attentive to those around us who may be carrying the weight of past traumas, seeking to understand their struggles and providing a listening ear. By offering our support, we can create a safe space for them to share their stories and seek a touch from Jesus.
Day 3
Scriptures: Hebrews 2:1, Proverbs 3:3-4, Psalms 147:3, John 13:34-35
God’s Word Is An Anchor
Cody’s childhood was marked by attending church with his parents, but the atmosphere at home painted a different picture. Neglect and prioritizing church affairs over family time left Cody feeling abandoned and unnoticed. The constant bickering between his parents contradicted any notion of a God-fearing household.
The stark contrast between his parents’ Sunday persona and their actions throughout the week deeply impacted Cody’s faith from a young age. Just as he was grappling with the news of his parent’s impending divorce at the tender age of 13, confusion and heartbreak overwhelmed him.
As Cody began to adjust to the new reality of his parent’s separation and navigate the complexities of custody arrangements, his mother introduced a new person into their lives. Tentatively, Cody allowed himself to trust and engage in conversations, only to be met with disappointment once again as his mother’s relationship ended abruptly. The cycle of feeling defensive and sinking into despair repeated itself. Cody became rebellious against the things of God and refused to step foot in a church again.
The frailty and imperfections of others can sometimes lead people like Cody astray from their faith in God, but Psalm 147:3 speaks of God’s ability to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. How can we encourage others like Cody to seek the Lord’s healing in their pain?
Building authentic relationships and demonstrating Christ-like love are more effective than judgment in drawing people closer to God. Believers are encouraged to be a living example of Christ’s love, seeking opportunities to support and encourage others regardless of their church attendance.
John 13:34-35 says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” This verse highlights the significance of loving one another as Jesus loved us. It is through our love for one another that the world can witness our discipleship and draw closer to God.
We are not immune to divorce, failed relationships, and rebelliousness. Living in an ungodly culture presents us with countless distractions and temptations that can lead us astray from God’s truth. In such a world, it is crucial that we pay the most careful attention to what we have heard, referring to the teachings of God’s Word. By doing so, we guard ourselves against drifting away from His ways.
In the context of being reminded that we are all prone to sin, Hebrews 2:1 highlights the reality that even as believers, we are susceptible to the influences of the world and our own human weaknesses. It acknowledges the potential for drifting away from the truth and becoming disconnected from God if we are not intentional in our faith.
As Cody’s mother witnessed her son drifting away from God and recognized her own deviation from God’s promises, she made a deliberate choice to anchor herself in the truth of God’s Word. With fervent prayers for Cody’s well-being, she adorned their home with scriptures, posting them throughout the house and even on Cody’s bedroom door, despite his initial rejection of them.
By paying careful attention to God’s Word, Cody’s mother equipped herself with the spiritual tools necessary to pray Cody away from an ungodly culture. She meditated on scriptures to discern between what is true and what is false, what is righteous and what is deceptive. God’s word empowered her to stand firm in her faith and make choices that honor God, despite her previous mistakes.
Today, let us be reminded of the importance of paying careful attention to God’s Word. As we encounter the influences of an ungodly culture, may we be anchored in the truth and guided by the principles we have learned from Scripture.
Let us remain vigilant, guarding our hearts and minds, so that we do not drift away from God’s truth.
Romans 12:9-10 says, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” This passage encourages Christians to exhibit genuine and sincere concern for one another. It calls for devotion, honor, and a rejection of judgment.
Sincere love is shown by hating evil and embracing the good. Let us be devoted, honoring one another above ourselves, and rejecting judgment. Together, we can support the broken.
Let’s end our devotional in prayer:
Heavenly Father, help me to pay the most careful attention to Your Word first and foremost. Give me a hunger and thirst for the Scriptures, that I may find wisdom and guidance for helping others who are broken. Strengthen me to stand firm in my faith and make choices that honor You despite what others believe. May Your Word be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path so, I can cultivate a character that pleases you and impacts those around me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.