Survival Guide to Motherhood: A 7-Day Parenting Pep Talk

Scriptures: Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 31:28, Colossians 3:23-24

Day 1: Getting Through the Day 

Being a first-time mom is hard. None of us really knows what we’re doing; it’s all new to us. Thank goodness for growth, right? Each month, you will learn as a mom, and each month, you will grow. You will get better, I promise. When you start to feel down about yourself, remind yourself of what’s true: This is your first time being a mom, and you will get better every day.

Children are like Crock-Pots. They take time to teach, to guide, to learn. They take time to discipline. That’s because discipline is a long-term concept. It takes time to train up a child! (Proverbs 22:6). I truly believe that’s why in Proverbs 31:28, Solomon writes of a mother, “Her children rise up and call her blessed” (ESV). As children become adults, they realize how much time their mother put in. They see how she was patient with them. They recognize that she let them go at their own pace. And for that, they are grateful.

Here are a few practical ways you can find contentment as you navigate this new perspective on mothering.

1. Know the Work Is Worth It

There are many challenges in motherhood, but one of the hardest for me was continuing the work without immediately seeing the reward.

This slow pace of life required me to be patient while my child was learning to obey, have manners, be respectful, and be responsible—it was difficult. It felt at times like my kids would never get it. I was worried that all my work was in vain. I want to encourage you that your work, your patience, your labor—none of it is in vain. Don’t give up! Your child needs you to be long-suffering with them. I know it’s hard. I know patience for their pace is difficult. At the end of most days, you are beyond exhausted.

You are running a marathon, and I am on the sidelines cheering you on! I’m yelling, “You can do it! Don’t give up! You’ve got this! The work is all worth it!”

2. Joy Is a Choice

Living a life full of joy and fulfillment is up to you. We all know that a mom’s life is challenging. But try to resist the urge to complain often about how hard it can be. Not because you shouldn’t be honest (you should!), but because staying in that negative place will only make you a bitter person. The truth is, you can make just about any situation better simply by adjusting your attitude.

3. Focus on the Now

Realize the importance of the slow days you are in the middle of living. Try to resist the urge to think that life is passing you by because it is not.

I love the verses Colossians 3:23-24, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Resist the urge to be anxious about tomorrow. Let tomorrow take care of itself; you just focus on today.

—

Each day we have with our children is a gift. So when we have great days, let’s celebrate them! And when we don’t, let’s remember that each day is a new day. A new opportunity to begin again. A new chance to glorify God in all we do as moms.

Growth can be hard to notice in the moment, but over the course of a season, it becomes clear. Reflecting upon your past few months (or even years), what’s one way God has used this season of motherhood to change you for the better?

Scripture: Proverbs 13:20

Day 2: Keep Your Sanity – Mental Health and Physical Health 

Mental Health 

Your mental health is so important as a mom. And one of the ways you can maintain it is by keeping close people in your life to help you. Surround yourself with wise counsel. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” (RSV). I love this verse because it tells us that our friends make a difference. If we have wise friends, we will be wiser. Do you have a friend, a mentor, or someone in your life who will listen to you, speak God’s truth to you, and guide you in His ways? If you don’t have that person in your life, ask God to send them your way. We all get trapped in believing lies Satan tells us. That’s when we need someone to speak the truth to us.

If you don’t have that solid Christian friend right now, try looking into a certified Christian counselor. They can be very helpful in clearing the cobwebs from your mind.

For so many people, taking care of your mental health can come with a stigma attached to it. But listen, a stigma should never be attached to something that makes you the best version of yourself. I think counseling is essential because it helps us process the hurts and tough situations we’ve faced in life. It equips us to navigate what we can’t seem to push through.

What a gift a mom can be to her son or daughter when she has honest conversations with her child and admits, “I used to struggle in that area too, and this is what I learned.” Wow! Think about how life-changing that could be for your child. Giving your child that gift of honesty and guidance starts with pouring into your own mental health.

Physical Health

This area is probably my least favorite to implement, but it is so important in the life of a mom. Whether you belong to a gym, do workout videos in the privacy of your home, or walk the neighborhood with a friend, the point is that you, as a woman, must be moving in some way every day. I cannot count how often I have been down in the dumps, and I put my child in the stroller to get outside and start walking the neighborhood. Honestly, that simple choice has always helped me. We need to be moving our bodies, stretching, and doing things to help preserve our physical health so we’ll not only feel better each day but live a long, healthy life for our families, too.

I know exercise can be hard to fit into your daily routine, but try your hardest to do something. There will be seasons in your life when you can be more active and others when ten minutes is all you’ll have to give. But no matter what, make it a point to care for yourself by moving. Your goal in caring for your physical health is simple: Always keep moving!

Now, let me confess. I am not a person that loves to exercise. I actually hate it! But the older I get, the more value I see in it. It also clears away the cobwebs and brightens our day.

Here are my top suggestions on how to get moving.

• Push the stroller around your neighborhood.
• Bike ride with your baby/toddler on the back.
• Pull a wagon with the kids in it around the block.
• Walk with a friend at night.
• Do workout videos at home while your child naps.
• Walk the track while your child is practicing sports.

Scriptures: 2 Timothy 1:7, Galatians 5:22-23, John 15:4-5

Day 3: Keep Your Sanity – Emotional and Spiritual Health 

Emotional Health 

Can we be honest for a second? As moms, our emotions can be the easiest to ignore. We have so much running through our brains all the time, making it easy to let our emotions run wild on us. The best remedy to keep your emotions in check is to remember that Emotions don’t always represent truth.

We tend to project our feelings onto someone else when they don’t actually think or feel that way. Emotional check-ins with yourself are huge in these moments. They’ll help bring you back to reality and allow you to think about what’s real. And in these times of emotional turmoil, you can always use a good friend who can speak the truth to you and talk you off the ledge.

As a mom, your emotional health is key to the relationships between you and your children. Think about it! If you’ve had a hard day at work and nothing has gone your way, and when you get home, and your toddler spills their sticky juice on the floor, you are way more likely to react harshly. The quicker you can be self-aware of where you are emotionally, the better off you will be in interacting with and reacting to your children. Good emotional health for you will ultimately lead to healthier relationships with your children. And what mom doesn’t want that?

Spiritual Health

I cannot stress working on this area in your life enough, especially in motherhood. My relationship with the Lord grew tremendously when I became a mom. Fear I had never experienced would try to grip me, but I held on to God’s truth. In 2 Timothy 1:7, the Bible says this:

God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (NLT).

Never in my life had I needed the things only God could give as much as I did when I became a mother! I needed the fruit of His Spirit—all the love, joy, patience, peace, faithfulness, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control He could offer in abundance (Galatians 5:22-23). I don’t think you can be the kind of mom you want to be without the fruit of the Spirit. I know my children liked me better when I was exhibiting those fruits. But you can’t have the fruit of the Spirit unless you’re walking and abiding with Christ (John 15:4-5).

Your walk with the Lord can be a game changer in your life. Moms always tell me they don’t have time for quiet time. I’m here to suggest that you can’t afford not to have a quiet time. And who said it has to be quiet? Shout it out to God!

I need You! Give me patience with these children. Fill me with Your love, Your goodness, Your kindness. God, give me wisdom. I have no idea what I am doing.

Whatever it looks like for you, you must find time each day to connect with God and grow your relationship with Christ.

Of course, I recognize that time is limited for you as a mom. That means connecting with God may have to look different depending on what season you’re in as a parent. Along the way, I’ve found a few things that have helped me focus on my relationship with the Lord in creative ways.

• Place notes around the house with relevant Scripture.
• Go on a walk by yourself after the kids’ bedtime so you can pray.
• Find just five quick minutes to read a short devotional
• Play worship music in the house in the morning or the car on the way to pick up the kids.
• Whatever it looks like for you, don’t take the benefit of focusing on your spiritual health for granted.

What could it look like for you to find time each day to connect with God and grow in your relationship with Christ? If you don’t have this time in place, which one thing would you like to try to implement?

Scriptures: James 1:5, Philippians 4:11-12

Day 4: Setting Your Own Pace 

To say a mom is busy is an understatement. But the problem with staying so busy is twofold. One, we never build in margin for ourselves to rest and recharge. And two, we miss wonderful opportunities to teach our children life principles. It’s not that we don’t want to teach them; it’s that we’re so busy we don’t see the opportunities to teach them.

Moms, I can speak to the subject of busyness because I have lived it. I have done the “crazy,” and I have done a little slower pace. And I will tell you this right now: The slower pace is much more peaceful.

I really had to make a decision every year about what pace we would be keeping. I learned early on that the mentality of “I can do it all” didn’t work for me.

Instead of doing it for myself, I asked God for wisdom. James 1:5 says this:

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

This became my life verse when my children were small. I did not know how to parent. I had to depend on God for wisdom. And when I look back now, I realize that God gave me all of what I asked for. I believe He’ll do the same for you! But the key is you have to ask. So ask!

Of course, knowing you need to slow your pace is one thing. Actually, doing it is another. So, let’s talk about three things you can do to slow your pace.

1. Examination

Each year, determine if your family is going in the direction you want to be going. Be honest with yourself. Have your husband do this exercise with you, too. Keep every aspect of your family in mind. Does your husband travel? Are your children young? Are they a little older? How many sports are your children involved in during the year? All these things should affect your decisions. The key to slowing down your pace is to realize you actually are in control. You get to say yes or no to the things in your schedule, but you can’t do that without first examining what’s in your schedule.

2. Action

Putting your plan into action isn’t always easy. You might disappoint some people, either your children or friends, when you tell them you aren’t going to do a certain sport, club, or activity. That’s okay! You don’t have to please everyone. Just keep in mind that you are doing what is best for your family. Because if you don’t keep your family at the top of your priority list, I assure you, no one else will.

3. Contentment

This step might be the hardest of all. Contentment means being happy with whatever season of life you are in. Sometimes that’s going to be really easy! Other times, it just isn’t. Remember that contentment is a learned behavior; it doesn’t come naturally to us. Paul says it best here:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want (Philippians 4:11-12).

Life is made up of seasons. Be flexible and learn to adjust during the different seasons of life. When your kids are toddlers, you will be home a lot because it’s just easier. When they are young, you will probably either get a sitter to go out or opt not to go at all.

When our children became teenagers, we had to stay at the house all the time to be home for them. This new lifestyle really cramped our weekends. So, my husband Greg and I started to have our dates on Friday afternoons. In other words, we made adjustments to make it work for our family and still be content.

Each season brings new challenges. Rise to the challenge and make it work for your family at your own pace.

As you pray over your schedule, are there any tasks or responsibilities you feel God calling you to release?

Scriptures: Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3, Colossians 3:20, Galatians 6:9

Day 5: Take Charge of Your Home 

The truth is, neither your toddler nor your teenager needs or wants to be in charge of your household. But unfortunately, in many homes, they are. You know as well as I do that this disordered system doesn’t work for anyone. And the only way to fix it? For you, as the parent, to take charge again. 

Obviously, this shift doesn’t happen overnight; it happens over time. You adjust your schedule, routine, and happiness to accommodate your child’s needs. In other words, you give in. Of course, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with giving in every now and then; it’s just not good to do it all the time. That creates a pattern that will eventually cause you to lose yourself and your home. 

So, right here and now, I’m giving you permission to stand firm and regain control of your home. You are the parent, and with that role comes the responsibility—the calling—to take charge. This is your title—your job. Don’t let the chaos of everyday life steal it from you. Don’t let your kids slide into the role of parent by accident or on purpose. Your home is just that: your home. So when you see it slipping out of control, it’s your responsibility to take it back! 

I can say this with boldness because God said it first. In His design, the mother and the father are the boss. God first tells us this in the Ten Commandments. You know about them, right? They are the big ones. Well, listed among them is “Honor your father and your mother” Exodus 20:12 (NASB). Then, we hear it again in the New Testament: 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may be well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3). 

We hear it a third time in Colossians 3:20: 

Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 

This isn’t my idea; it’s God’s design. Of course you can listen to your child and allow them to express their creativity while still asking them to obey and respect you as their authority. It is your home. You have waited a lifetime to establish it, so be the boss. 

There will be times when your kids get angry with you because of your decisions as the boss. That’s to be expected. When you take a stand, it will be hard. At times you will get pushback, so be ready. Sometimes it will seem like your kids are testing you every step of the way, but don’t let that get you down. Remember God’s encouragement: 

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9). 

It’s true that being a mom is hard, but that doesn’t mean you give up. Doesn’t every job include things you don’t like? The same is true with the job of being a mom. So rather than give up, rise to the challenge! 

In what moments do you feel most confident as a mother? Why? What strengths do you have in these moments (e.g., knowledge, experience, compassion) that you can bring to or develop for moments when you feel less confident?

Scriptures: Philippians 4:19, Colossians 3:17

Day 6: Stop Striving for Perfection 

I truly believe Satan uses this thinking that perfection might be possible to keep us isolated. As long as we have the false belief that we must be perfect, act perfectly, and live perfectly to be loved, we will never live the Christian life the way we should. Gently remind yourselves that all our needs are met in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). In other words, if we could attain perfection, why would we need a Savior? 

This concept really burdens my heart. The goal of perfection can never be achieved, and the pursuit of it always leaves women feeling inadequate. I get angry with our society, which encourages us to strive for perfection. Social media alone paints this beautiful, perfect picture of families and moms. But here is the deal: Those pictures people post are just that—pictures. How quickly we forget those are just pictures! We begin to believe that those pictures are the way those people live all the time, not just a highlight. People post the “best” of everything. No one ever posts a picture on social media of their child having a meltdown in the grocery store, or their living room that looks like a toy explosion happened, or their high school student’s failed grade. 

So, I am giving you permission not to be perfect. Your children do not have to be perfect, your home does not have to be perfect, your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect, and you, don’t have to be perfect. For some of you, this brings a sigh of relief. For others—my perfectionists out there—this will be more difficult to take in. Because you not only look for perfection in yourself; you look for perfection in your children as well. But just like you will never be a perfect parent, they will never be perfect children. They will never be able to measure up to your standard. They will never be able to sustain a perfect life. 

If you are one of the many moms out there who struggles with a desire to be perfect, let me give you a tip: Put your efforts in perfection toward perfecting your walk with God. Put your energies and emotions into being the best child of God you can be. Start every day by saying, “God, let me be poured-out wine and broken bread for You. I want Your will to be done in my life more than my own will. I pray that there would be less of me and more of You.” If you commit to this prayer, it will help you die to yourself and your image of perfection every day. And over time, your marriage, your children, and your home will be better because of it. 

Colossians 3:17 says, 

Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father (NASB). 

This verse makes it clear that God wants us to do our best—to work hard at achieving excellence . There is a fine line, though, between doing our best and trying to be perfect . It is very easy to cross over to the other side, and if some of us have these tendencies, we should be aware of the danger that lies ahead . 

Remember, focus on doing your best in the season you’re in. One day the craziness will come to an end. Don’t give up or get discouraged. You are doing a great job! 

What areas of control are you holding on to that you can (and should) release to God? How can regular prayer over this struggle help you do this?

Scriptures: Philippians 4:19, Colossians 3:17

Day 6: Stop Striving for Perfection 

I truly believe Satan uses this thinking that perfection might be possible to keep us isolated. As long as we have the false belief that we must be perfect, act perfectly, and live perfectly to be loved, we will never live the Christian life the way we should. Gently remind yourselves that all our needs are met in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). In other words, if we could attain perfection, why would we need a Savior? 

This concept really burdens my heart. The goal of perfection can never be achieved, and the pursuit of it always leaves women feeling inadequate. I get angry with our society, which encourages us to strive for perfection. Social media alone paints this beautiful, perfect picture of families and moms. But here is the deal: Those pictures people post are just that—pictures. How quickly we forget those are just pictures! We begin to believe that those pictures are the way those people live all the time, not just a highlight. People post the “best” of everything. No one ever posts a picture on social media of their child having a meltdown in the grocery store, or their living room that looks like a toy explosion happened, or their high school student’s failed grade. 

So, I am giving you permission not to be perfect. Your children do not have to be perfect, your home does not have to be perfect, your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect, and you, don’t have to be perfect. For some of you, this brings a sigh of relief. For others—my perfectionists out there—this will be more difficult to take in. Because you not only look for perfection in yourself; you look for perfection in your children as well. But just like you will never be a perfect parent, they will never be perfect children. They will never be able to measure up to your standard. They will never be able to sustain a perfect life. 

If you are one of the many moms out there who struggles with a desire to be perfect, let me give you a tip: Put your efforts in perfection toward perfecting your walk with God. Put your energies and emotions into being the best child of God you can be. Start every day by saying, “God, let me be poured-out wine and broken bread for You. I want Your will to be done in my life more than my own will. I pray that there would be less of me and more of You.” If you commit to this prayer, it will help you die to yourself and your image of perfection every day. And over time, your marriage, your children, and your home will be better because of it. 

Colossians 3:17 says, 

Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father (NASB). 

This verse makes it clear that God wants us to do our best—to work hard at achieving excellence . There is a fine line, though, between doing our best and trying to be perfect . It is very easy to cross over to the other side, and if some of us have these tendencies, we should be aware of the danger that lies ahead . 

Remember, focus on doing your best in the season you’re in. One day the craziness will come to an end. Don’t give up or get discouraged. You are doing a great job! 

What areas of control are you holding on to that you can (and should) release to God? How can regular prayer over this struggle help you do this?