The Cost of Envy

Scripture: Genesis 4:3-7

Humanity’s First Murder

The Bible weaves a connection between the internal temptation of envy – the resentful longing for things that aren’t ours, and the ominous work of Satan. The apostle John, in solemn reflection, presents Cain’s murder of Abel as a cautionary example, warning us not to be like Cain, who was of the evil one (1 John 3:12). 

It’s hard to imagine a more explosive fuel than one that could unleash the most appalling sins like the problem Cain had festering inside him regarding his brother Abel. The Bible describes the motivation for that first homicide with the words, “Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous” (v. 12b). 

In whatever way God demonstrated the “favor” upon Abel and his offering, it was clear to Cain that he didn’t have it. The blessing, peace, joy, or visible demonstration of the Lord’s thumbs-up drove Cain crazy. Notice how God directs him. “Do well.” “Get it together!” “Repent and make things right with me.” It was as though God was saying, “This is about you and Me, not you and him. Forget what’s going on over there, and let’s have you get things right and move forward in your own life.” But Cain couldn’t handle it. Who knows what thousands of thoughts ran through Cain’s brain as his hostility toward his brother grew? “Why him? Why not me? It’s not fair. It’s not right. How can he be doing so much better than me?” 

Cain spiraled down into a compounding and multiplied set of horizontal comparisons. His “fallen face” and bad attitude took his eyes off the productive plan to reorder his life before the only One who ultimately mattered—the God who was his Judge and his gracious and forgiving Redeemer. Acceptance and personal progress were potentially in his future, but instead, a much more powerful sin was busy getting its hooks in his heart. It was “crouching at the door,” and he had to fight it. But I would confidently guess he wasn’t busy looking that sin in the eyes. Instead, he was busy fixating on the contented eyes of his brother. 

The next verse in Genesis 4 matter-of-factly unfolds: “Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him” (v. 8). Yikes! Talk about an explosive and dominating sin—not the murder, but the motive. Of course, the sin is horrific. Killing someone with malice aforethought is a horrendous, sinful act of violence, but let us soak in the reason why. What kind of preceding violence was envy wreaking on the interior of Cain’s life? Hour after hour and day after day, his hostility was ramping up, and all he could think about was tearing down the one who had what he didn’t have. 

If you think about Cain’s interior life in the days leading up to the murder, it’s not hard to imagine that it was anything but tranquil. We envision his mind being pushed and pulled by all sorts of strong, disruptive, turbulent thoughts and emotions. It might be good to try to sort them out and identify them biblically. It will provide us another step in understanding the entangled mess from which God wants to set us free. 

Our Creator, the One who knows us best, has diagnosed the three distinguishable but often intertwined experiences of jealousy, coveting, and envy as intruders that get in the way of our feelings of peace, tranquility, and joy. We like those pleasant feelings of calm. We don’t like them being upended by uninvited antagonists—especially the kind that keeps our minds spinning and our stomachs churning.

Scripture: Exodus 34:14

Jealousy

All of these unpleasant realities are indicators that something is wrong. Sometimes, as in the case of jealousy, it can indicate something is wrong with someone else. There is a time for alarm bells to go off in our hearts when someone who should be rightly and uniquely loyal, loving, and linked to us is straining that link by giving their love and loyalty elsewhere. 

The agonizing heartache and unsettling indignation of a broken marriage vow or a cheating girlfriend are examples of appropriate feelings of intensely wanting something we don’t currently have. We know these feelings are appropriate because the God of the universe reveals Himself to be perfectly holy and rightly jealous. He does not experience the feelings precisely as we do, but the sinless triune God tells us as clearly as possible in Exodus 34:14, “You shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” What a way to put it! “My name is Jealous.” It couldn’t be more definitive. And the context at the beginning of the verse helps us understand that there is obviously nothing wrong with Him, but only with the idolaters. 

All of humanity should recognize God and be devoted to Him— the only God. The God who created them also sustains and grants each of them life, breath, and every daily provision. When they enthrone something or someone other than God in the place of God, God says He will express and act from His holy attribute of jealousy. 

The problem with our jealousy is that we are often jealous about something or someone when we have no right to be. We cannot be jealous that one friend gives more honor or attention to another friend who just happens to not be “us.” We often make imaginary and misguided claims in our hearts about positions, possessions, or people not rightly or uniquely ours. This is when our hearts must be called out for being territorial, controlling, and clingy because having those roles, relationships, and riches is based solely on our selfish need to feel better in having them. When this unjustified second sort of jealousy is present in our lives, it can be said to have a similarity with the sins of coveting and envy.

Scriptures: Philippians 4:11-12, Exodus 20:17, Ecclesiastes 2:22-23

Coveting

Unlike jealousy, the sin of coveting always indicates there is something wrong in us, not in someone else. It is sometimes provoked when I consider someone else, but only because that someone possesses the person, place, or thing my heart has decided it cannot be happy without. And that is a decision that is always wrong. It is the antithesis of contentment—the godly virtue every Christian must seek to take hold of. A genuine and growing relationship with Christ is the open secret to this interior satisfaction that Paul says is possible in “whatever situation” and “in any and every circumstance,” whether “facing plenty” or “hunger,” having “abundance” or “need” (Phil. 4:11–12). 

Coveting is such a fundamental sin it was embedded by the Lord as the tenth commandment—one that comes with more examples than any of the other nine. Consider again the all-encompassing words of Exodus 20:17, “ You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” 

It is easy to identify this feeling, especially if your neighbor is doing better than you. And certainly, if it’s someone in your neighborhood is. His car is hard to ignore. Noticing hurts. Why? Because he’s driving what you want. Coveting is the word for really wanting something badly. Whether it’s a house or a spouse, cars or cash. It’s something you crave. As Albert Mohler unpretentiously put it, coveting is all about hankering, people hankering after things they want. Maybe not the synonym you would expect from the learned Dr. Mohler, but it certainly captures the nuance of the problem. 

Coveting is more than merely wanting something, pursuing someone, or aspiring to some position; it is deeper than that. It crosses into an obsessive craving and unquenchable thirst to just “having to have” the object of our desire. It leads some to pine away in self-pity and others to fanatically chase after their preoccupation. 

Either way, coveting is a fixation to capture what we do not have. It is based on the addictive illusion that if we have the object of our desire, we will be satisfied. But as poets have written and rock stars have sung, the satisfaction doesn’t dawn. The fulfillment doesn’t last. The mirage of arriving is never realized. 

Solomon reflects upon his life of hankering and asks: 

“What has a man from all the toil and striving of heart with which he toils beneath the sun? For all his days are full of sorrow, and his work is a vexation. Even in the night his heart does not rest. This also is vanity” (Eccl. 2:22–23).

Scriptures: Proverbs 17:5, Proverbs 24:17-18

Envy 

Even our initial consideration of envy is enough to enable us to see how inappropriate jealousy and the discontented cravings of coveting can overlap with envy. They are distinct but often interlaced. But worse than either, envy takes things a sinful step further. Whether I am hurt over not having what I feel entitled to or I fixate on what I’m convinced would make me happy, these unpleasant thoughts and feelings escalate after simmering in my heart until my sense of deprivation leads me to resent the people who have what I want. And not just any people – usually, it’s the person right in front of me. 

As Tilly Dillehay succinctly states, “Envy thrives among peers.” I don’t resent the guy on YouTube driving the truck I just have to have or living in the man cave I’ve always wanted. It’s the coworker, the guy in my small group, my brother-in-law, or the neighbor I wave at every morning on my way to work. When they have what I crave, and they get to experience what I’ve dreamed of, then I start looking at them with disdain. 

Envy shifts the focus to the person. It drives me to ruminate on how that person is less deserving, less worthy, or just less as a person. It leads me to desire that they not only do without the privileges and possessions I want, but if that hurts them—that is fine, too. Think of how undetected and unchecked envy compounds the problem in me. The problem is not them. Actually, in some other universe, I might even be happy that my brother, or my brother in Christ, had the things that I know all too well – gifts, blessings, and honors. But sadly, I am secretly cursing the people I am called to rejoice with when they are blessed. And even more appalling, I would take pleasure in their pain. 

God has stern words for the fruit of envy. Consider this barrage of conviction from our Maker: 

Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner. (Prov. 14:21a) 

 But do not gloat over the day of your brother in the day of his misfortune . . . do not boast in the day of distress . . . do not gloat over his disaster in the day of his calamity. (Obad. 12–13a) 

Let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and be displeased. (Prov. 24:17b–18a) 

He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished. (Prov. 17:5b) 

God wants something different for us. Something better. As challenging as it may be in our fallen world, God’s Spirit wants to enable you and me to truly love our neighbor, to sincerely rejoice in the advantages of others, and to find contented satisfaction in our less-than-perfect lives. That’s what this book is all about. But we can’t get there if we don’t see the seriousness of the problem and admit that we have it—to one degree or another.

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:4

Assessing Motives 

Accurately detecting why we do what we do is never easy. The Bible tells us that even the smartest among us struggle to perceive ourselves rightly (Rom. 2:1). Self-analysis is, by definition, subjective. 

We need the light of Biblical truth to inject some objectivity into understanding our internal motivations. But I hope that even at this point, you have already been able to trace some of your previously inexplicable resentment, sadness, frustration, or discontentment to the sinful root of envy. 

I pray that it is already somewhat easier, after a little reflection and self-appraisal, to see that the bitterness toward your more successful or more attractive friend is fueled and sustained by the envy residing in your heart. Perhaps a little light on this subject has helped you to see that your snarky comments about the neighbor kid’s college scholarship or the unexpected internal pain of just scrolling through the vacation photos of the woman at church with the perfect teeth is another indicator that the vicious evil of envy has set up shop in your soul. 

And if you are a guy, let me speak directly to you for a minute. I have heard some men say that envy is a “women” problem. They say, “I don’t envy others; I just go about my daily work.” I trust that if you have read this far, you know better. But hearing that statement just this week reminded me of Solomon’s insightful assessment of what he diagnosed in his male-dominated workforce. God’s Spirit utilized him to write, “Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind” (Eccl. 4:4). This sweeping statement cannot be divorced from the biblical affirmation that work itself is a pre-fall gift of God. In other words, while all work after Genesis 3 is certainly infected by the consequences of sin, skill and toil are necessary assignments for everyone, and can be engaged in without envy. Solomon’s broad appraisal of men’s motives speaks to the pervasive societal problem that plagues hearts—while not without exception, certainly “all” without distinction. 

Most workers, craftsmen, scholars, artisans, and pastors pursue their daily work with rivalrous attention to their colleagues, competitors, and challengers. It may be harder to detect when you are getting the job done, pleasing your boss, and sensing job security. But God wants us to consider that sin might be motivating more of what we do than we might first imagine. Think about it. From picking a college, a major, or a profession, every human is prone to do so with influences from some deep-seated and rarely acknowledged jealousy, covetousness, and yes, even envy. This verse from Ecclesiastes helps us see that people from every walk of life tend to make business decisions, craft agenda items, put together marketing plans, and set sales goals with an envious eye on the other guy.

Scriptures: Proverbs 14:30, Psalms 32:5

Time to Confess 

The second half of Proverbs 14:30 tells us that “envy makes the bones rot.” Let’s start the process of being done with that, and who wouldn’t want to be? Even secular academics have quipped, “Of the seven deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all.” With God’s help, let’s resolve to get this behind us. Breaking envy’s grip on us, along with all its associated damage, will take several steps, a few new godly habits, and a bit more assessment on a larger scale, but at this point, let’s take responsibility for what we see is taking place in ourselves. The first step in eradicating any sinful vice in our lives is admitting we have it—no more excuses. 

The problem of envy is like a pebble in our shoe. People may not see it. And we may not see it directly. But we can feel it. It is causing pain. It is affecting our gait. If it has been there long enough, it has caused problems for our ankles, knees, hips, and back. People may not recognize our problem, but they know we are not walking quite right. Before we stoop down to begin dealing with the problem, we’ve got to admit it’s there. Unfortunately, unlike a pebble that we have the dexterity and power to get to and extract, sinful problems of the heart require God’s abilities. This is what makes Christian confession so much more than a non-Christian acknowledgment of a problem. As Christians we know that the problem is more than just trouble for us – it is an offense to God. We know we can’t just say, “Let’s forget that ever happened” – we need forgiveness and pardon. And, we understand that the ability to do better next time is not something we can muscle up and do (though it will certainly require all of our spiritual muscles!). We need God. We need His grace and His provision. We need His Spirit and His enablement. 

So let us confess our sins, specifically, not just the symptoms, but the root causes. Let’s not just agree with God that it was wrong to say what we said or be as unloving as we were, but let us tell Him we know that we have nursed the secret sin of envy. Confess immediately. Whether you are a plumber, a preacher, a mathematician, or a mom, tell God you see the problem, and you know you have not been an innocent bystander. Reach out for His merciful forgiveness. Let’s be grateful that along with King David, we can confidently say: 

I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Ps. 32:5)