Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

WHAT’S AT STAKE

Sexual sin will trap and corrupt you!

We know this, of course. If you’ve chosen to enroll in a Bible plan, you are likely not hearing about sexual sin as a trap for the first time. The problem is that most of us don’t understand that “no other sin” so clearly affects the body. We do not fully understand the tangled web of sexual immorality and how it so quickly traps us.

Sex is a sacred gift from God. He called it good! By His grace, it enriches us and fulfills His plan on the earth. He designed it within the covenant of marriage. In Genesis 2:24, we witness God’s intention for marriage, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (ESV) It symbolizes the profound unity and intimacy that sexual union brings. Its original design was brought forth through covenant alone. It establishes a bond that transcends physicality and alters the very fabric of our being, as two become one flesh.

However, culture offers counterfeit options that steer us from God’s plan and so clearly affect our bodies, minds, and futures. In a culture that glorifies hookup and shack-up, it can become easy to be lulled into a spiritual stupor, not fully recognizing what’s at stake. Sometimes, our desperation to marry or avoid loneliness can breed complacency and hardheartedness to sin. We may even rationalize that it’s not that big of a deal. We say, “Well, the bills are cheaper if we live together. We’re going to get married, eventually. Nobody cares about that anymore.” However, the truth is God cares.

In 1 Corinthians, Chapter 6, Paul talks about the gravity of sexual sin. He gives a comparison to an appetite – a need to be satisfied. For example, when we are hungry and consume immense amounts of sugar and carbs, we never become satisfied. We only leave hungry and craving more sugar, not getting the actual nutrition of iron and protein. The same is true in the spiritual context of sex. When we consume sexual immorality – outside of the order and will of God’s design, we experience a constant craving that can never be fully satisfied. We often feel unfulfilled and empty. The placebo of a sexual encounter with someone who is not our spouse is that it will somehow be the same. But God’s word is clear, and the after-effects are immediate. The result? We are generally left with bondage to a relationship God never intended for us to be in, potential porn addiction, and often future deep emotional wounds and brokenheartedness.

Throughout the Bible, God’s plan for sexual intimacy is reiterated as a sacred bond reserved for marriage. It’s mentioned in Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:8, and Ephesians 5:31, to name a few. We must align our behaviors with God’s Word, resist worldly temptations, and embrace His plan for sexuality. Seek to prioritize first, honoring the Lord’s commands, but also protection for your own heart and body. We can experience the fullness of God’s blessing and avoid the traps of sexual sin that only seek to corrupt and entrap us.

Points to Ponder:

• Why do you think Paul is so emphatic that no other sin so clearly affects your body? What is your personal experience with this Scripture in your own life?
• What are some ways to stay away from sexual sin when the world wants you to believe it’s normal and okay?

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

SEX & LIES

Stop camping out in disobedience.

Sex is, unfortunately, a topic that the church doesn’t talk about enough. Considering the number of Believers who search for their answers on the internet or engage in whispered conversations across the water cooler, we’re not sure why! As we established yesterday, there is no other battle that can so clearly affect our body as sex. The enemy of your soul seeks to distort our perception of value and worth in many areas. He convinces us, mainly women, that our sexual experiences or the opinions of others about our physical appearance are what determine our worth. Whose opinion matters more? God’s or the world’s view of you? The enemy attempts to steal our identity, and we start to believe his lies. The lies are many:

Sex isn’t a big deal. Everyone is doing it. This man will love me more if I have sex with him. We’re getting married anyway, so we don’t have to wait. This person won’t leave me if I do. I’m not a virgin anymore, so what is the point of purity? 

It is essential to resist the lies of the enemy and temptations of our flesh that seek to undermine our worth and identity in Christ. Colossians 3:2 reads, “Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” (ESV) We must set in our minds to stop making excuses to follow the world and its lies. God has more in store for us! He will not allow you to compromise because He has what’s best. God calls you daughter, chosen, wonderfully made, precious, honored, and a masterpiece! It’s time to rebuke those lies of the enemy with the truth of God’s word and character. Christ is the firm foundation on which we build.

Let’s address some of the common lies that we are confronted with as single women:

1. Sexual purity is unattainable. The word of God would not say, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality,” if it were not obtainable (1 Thessalonians 4:3, ESV). His word is truth. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit promised in Galatians 5:23. You can gain complete control over your body and what you do with it.
2. There are no more good Christian men. We must stop dishonoring men by indicating that no Christian men are left. Sure, there is an equal share of men and women who are dishonoring the Lord. That role isn’t exclusive to men! But there are men honoring the Lord, seeking a godly wife, and choosing the will of the Father. Let’s use our words carefully as blessings, not curses.
3. Further, let’s take the time to work on continuing to flourish as women full of virtue and integrity. Use this time of singleness to get your house in order. Identify which areas you need to work in and use your singleness season to put the work in.
4. Because of God’s grace, it’s okay to be single and have sex. God’s grace is beautiful, but it is not our license for sin. Sadly, many in culture today adopt the fact that God is love (and He is) and forget that God is equally holy and righteous. Jesus paid a high price for our sins and our complete freedom. He paid the debt that we could not pay. To be genuinely forgiven, we must repent from our sins, and repent doesn’t mean, “I’m sorry.” It means “to turn.” Be thankful for God’s grace, but understand His holy standard is also required.

Let us be holy women of God who live as godly examples for our children in the area of sexual holiness—willing to live a life set apart for a purpose and a season.

Points to Ponder:

• What are the lies that you’ve believed regarding sex?
• What areas do you need to work on in your life that will make you better equipped for a future marriage?

Scripture: Galatians 5:1

SOUL TIES & FREEDOM

It’s time to be free.

Have you ever heard of a soul tie? No? Well, until a decade or so ago, we hadn’t either! Soul ties, or spiritual ties, are a subject not often discussed on a Sunday morning during sermon time. However, soul ties are important to understanding sexual purity. Soul ties are spiritual connections that are not seen in the physical sense of the word but instead recognized in the spirit realm. Spiritual connections are often referred to in the Bible, although generally not called “soul ties” specifically. Soul tie was later adopted as an adequate term to describe the Biblical connection. There are several ways spiritual connection is formed in the unseen realm (or spirit realm):

• Sex or sexual acts, such as referenced between husband and wife in Ephesians 5:31;
• Close relationships & friendships, as in with Jonathan and David in 1 Sam. 18; and
• Vows & oaths, such as found in Matthew 5:22, Proverbs 18:21, and James 3:9-10.

Soul ties (spiritual ties) can be good and God-honoring, such as the close friendship between Jonathan and David. Such friendships and long-term, meaningful relationships can edify and equip us, empower us, and even ensure we serve others better. Likewise, soul ties within marriage create closeness and intimacy, whereby two become one flesh, which is God’s design in the covenant of marriage. However, soul ties can be detrimental and life-altering when we have connected to someone via sex or through vows and oaths, and the connections are not honoring the Lord.

Sex outside the confines of marriage creates soul connections in the spirit realm that must be broken. Verbal oaths and vows created through proclamations, such as “I will never love anyone but you. I will never marry again. No good Christian man will ever want me. I will always be alone,” must likewise be broken.

How do you know you may have a soul tie? Consider the following. Have you struggled to move on from a relationship with a past sexual partner, even when it has been years? Do you find yourself secretly stalking their social media or talking and thinking about them more than you’d like? Do you struggle with commitment to a new friendship or relationship due to past hurt? Do you find it hard to end a relationship that you know is bad for you? Do you feel like an ex has some type of “hold on you”? Have you struggled with sexual sin, even when you don’t want to? These may be indicators that a soul tie exists and needs to be broken. Simply put:

1. Repent. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any spiritual connections that do not honor Him, e.g., past sexual partners, verbal oaths and vows, or ungodly friendships that you knew didn’t enhance your walk with the Lord. First, ask the Lord for forgiveness for having dishonored Him.
2. Renounce aloud. There is power in our words. There is power to yoke ourselves. There is likewise power to free ourselves by verbally renouncing all ties to sin through the power of Jesus’ shed blood. Make a list of all ungodly soul ties, as the Lord reveals, and then renounce each one aloud. “I renounce all sex outside of marriage with _____. I break and release myself from all ungodly soul ties to him, in the name of Jesus Christ.” Repeat this for each soul tie. (Note: Repent means to turn from. Renounce means to cut all ties with).
3. Forgive. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:9-13 how to pray. And He teaches us in v. 12, “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.” (NLT) This is a big deal. He is teaching us the kingdom principle of forgiveness. We are forgiven as we forgive others. This tie (spiritually speaking) can be immobilizing. We must forgive ex-boyfriends and spouses who have hurt and offended us.
4. Trash accursed items. Sometimes, we find an unhealthy connection to an item as it pertains to an ungodly relationship. For example, retaining the diamond earrings an ex-boyfriend gave you could cause your mind and thought-life to meditate on that relationship. Ridding your home of any prior gifts or items that could bring such connections can be remarkably effective. We see the early Acts church ridding their home of physical items that had spiritual ties in Acts 19:19.

Points to Ponder:

• Do you currently have unhealthy soul ties in your life? In what way are they impacting your life?
• Do you have unforgiveness in your life that has linked you to another, holding you hostage, emotionally and spiritually?

Scripture: John 3:16-17

DO I LOVE MY SIN OR MY SAVIOR?

Sin always ensnares. Christ paid for freedom.

Sin always brings counterfeit comfort. The indulgence of our flesh always meets a temporary need. To not acknowledge that would be foolish. Sex sells. Overeating satisfies for a moment. Spending more than we have gives way to the excitement of the new items, if only for a moment. Sex, overeating, overspending, and scrolling hours of social media all bring temporary comfort. They meet a need. The problem is that the counterfeits never sustain. The well of counterfeit comfort always runs dry far more quickly than we expect. One piece of cake turns into three, and we enjoy it, but hate the after-effects of obesity, upset stomach, or lethargy it may bring. The temporary satisfaction of using profanity to degrade an ex-spouse flees quickly, as we realize our testimony has just been diminished and our temper did not serve us well. Sex with a partner who is not our spouse under the covenant of marriage can feel good for a moment, but the weight of the sin brings grief to our soul and ends in a bleeding heart we struggle to subdue.

Do you know what is inevitable? Sin always leaves a trail of grief and pain in its wake. It never delivers what it promises. The enemy’s strategies are effective, and they are harmful. They kill, steal, and destroy while we are left picking up the pieces of the ruins.

In contrast, the plan of our Father always brings eternal life from a living well that never runs dry. He always delivers what He promises. His joy and strength are dependable and sure. The Savior who hung on the cross for our sins paid a price we could never pay, and the cost was His life. And He promises an abundant life. That abundant life means joy abundantly, peace that makes no sense to the world, and freedom from all captivity. However, Jesus also warned us that a life with Him means sacrifice and surrender. He told us in His word that we must “bear our cross” and “kill our flesh.” He says we must “count the cost.” (Check out Romans 8:13 or Gal. 5:24, for example). What does it mean? It means we must love our Savior and the freedom that He brings far more than the temporary satisfaction of our sins. It means we must be willing to sacrifice in obedience to receive the future blessings the Father planned. It implies that salvation in Christ through confession, repentance, and turning one’s heart towards Him requires a transformed life. His grace and mercy will help us fulfill it – to become more like Christ over time through sanctification.

Points to Ponder:

• Write out John 14:15 on an index card. Commit it to memory.
• Do you feel prepared to welcome a new relationship into your life that adheres to sexual holiness? Why or why not?

Scripture: Proverbs 18:22

SHOULD I EVEN BE DATING?

Don’t get ahead of God. He won’t bless it.

You are the good thing that the Lord talks about in Proverbs 18:22. You can bring significant value to a future spouse, but we must be careful that we do not rush ahead of the Lord and His plan for our lives. He won’t bless it when we rush and operate in haste. It will not end well (as some of us already know). As we reflect on this week’s devotional time together and the lies the enemy attempts to infiltrate our lives with, the soul ties that could bind us, and our commitment to our Savior, we must now assess whether we’re ready to date. For those who have moved too quickly in the past, you likely know the result of the story. It’s time to reassess and ensure that the new story the Lord is writing in our lives ends in joy and blessings.

Here are a few questions to consider as you determine where you are ready to date:

1. Do I have the potential to add value to another’s life? Proverbs 31:11 says, “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” (NLT) Enrich means to add value to, not to seek completion in another person. You should understand that your worth and identity come from God, not from your relationship status or the opinion of others. Are you prepared to add value in various ways to a new spouse?
2. Am I emotionally prepared for a new relationship? Are there lingering wounds from old relationships that still require additional healing? Have you done the hard work? Have you been in the secret place with the Lord, where He can bind the broken heart? Bleeding wounds from an ex-husband won’t be healed by a new boyfriend. Avoid seeking a new relationship to fill the void left by past hurts. It won’t heal it.
3. Do I struggle with boundaries? Set boundaries now, before you date. Compromise happens when preparation and planning are lacking. Pray about what you want from a relationship. Pray about what God wants. Then, outline the healthiest boundaries for you. Your boundaries may look different than someone else’s. List them out before you decide to date again. (Examples may include choosing to never be alone at your home with a new beau, avoiding physical touch such as kissing, assessing the frequency of seeing each other or the time frame when he meets family, etc.
4. Do I ignore red flags to feed my flesh? Is there anything in this new person’s life that gives you pause? Does he treat friends and family well? How does he talk to his parents? Does he work and pay his bills? Does he love his children and engage actively with them? Is he active in a local church? Does his life exhibit the fruit of the Spirit? Is he pushing your sexual boundaries? Is he funny and fun and kind and gentle? If the Holy Spirit gives you a gut check, listen!
5. Have I invested in my walk with the Lord? Is the Lord the center of my heart’s affection, or is finding a new spouse more critical? Am I fully surrendered to the Lord’s plan, even if that means perpetual singleness, or do I feel I must compromise to fix my life and control my outcomes? One who is ready to date knows her worth in Christ, takes time to invest in her walk with Him daily, and knows the voice of the Good Shepherd (and is willing to obey).

Points to Ponder:

• What will I not compromise on regarding a new dating partner?
• Am I stubborn and unwilling to yield, or do I readily obey the Holy Spirit?