Scriptures: 1 John 4:1, Proverbs 18:21, John 10:10, Philippians 4:8, Genesis 3:1-21

DON’T SHAKE HANDS WITH A LIE

Have you ever had to tell someone to stop being so hard on themselves because of something they said, something they did, or the way they look? 

A few years ago, I was looking at myself in a lighted, magnified make-up mirror and pointing out all of my flaws out loud. My husband quickly silenced my complaints. He looked at me and firmly said, “Quit talking about my wife that way.” He reminded me that I would never bully or belittle another person the way I was bullying and belittling myself. Why did I think my negative behavior was acceptable? 

I shared this story with a friend, who told me she practiced the same bad habit until her husband interrupted her and said, “You have to stop announcing every flaw before I start to see them.” What a statement about the powerful force of the words we utter! They have the ability to bring something—even if it’s untrue—into existence. 

As I tried to understand why I saw myself in such a critical light, I thought about the image of myself I had built over the years. I came to the conclusion that a younger version of myself made the lasting decision to shake hands with a lie. Like many of us, compliments went in one ear and out the other, but negative comments made a lasting impact! Criticism permanently impacted my self-image. 

Our propensity to invest in lies goes back to the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden. In the book of Genesis, Satan spoke through the serpent. He suggested to Eve that she misunderstood the truth by asking, “Did God really say . . . .” Satan’s “suggestion” caused her to doubt herself and—even worse—to doubt the Word of God. In this first example of gaslighting, sin entered the world when Eve chose to receive a lie and reject the truth. Eve faced the danger of listening to the wrong voice for the first time, ushering in consequences that we still feel today.

Words are powerful. Your voice has the ability to bring good or evil into your life. There’s an interesting passage in the book of Job that asks the question, “Who has helped you utter these words? And whose spirit spoke from your mouth?” (Job 26:4) We must always remember that we have an enemy who loves to whisper lies in our ears and has the power to bring those lies into the world through our mouths. Our job is to discern which voice we listen to and be careful about what we say, think, and believe. 

Don’t shake hands with a lie. 

THINK ON THIS

“The greatest source of suffering are the lies we tell ourself.” – Elvin Semrad

Scriptures: Proverbs 14:10, Proverbs 16:24, Proverbs 12:18, James 3:3-6

REJECT OR RECEIVE?

Not long ago, someone made a false, intentionally hurtful comment about me. Instead of retaliating in anger, I immediately replied, “I reject your words, and I don’t receive them.” 

Yesterday, we discussed the power in the spoken word for both good and bad. When we vocalize a thought, we validate it in our minds and give it power outside ourselves. Proverbs 18:21 warns us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. Knowing the damage that hurtful words can cause, I knew I had to deal with the false comment swiftly. By vocally rejecting the negative sentiment and saying “I don’t receive your statement,” I declined to offer a handshake and avoided making an agreement. 

To my surprise, the person who made the comment replied, “You’re right, you’re right, I shouldn’t have said that.” Even my accuser agreed with my rebuttal, proving that my words for good were stronger than the words intended to harm. 

We must be diligent in rejecting negative, dishonest, or unnecessary comments. Nature abhors a vacuum, so rejected lies can still impact us by taking root in our subconscious and affecting our self-image. The solution is filling the space with truth. When we find ourselves practicing the bad habit of negative self-talk (being our own worst critics), the cure is replacing the damaging thoughts with the truth of scripture. 

For example, Psalm 139 reminds us that we should “praise God because we are fearfully and wonderfully made” and Ephesians 2:10 says that “we are His workmanship.” Knowing that we are made in His image, we don’t want to insult the Creator by insulting His creation! 

 On the other hand, when kind words are spoken to us, resist the automatic impulse to reject the statement by saying things like, “that’s not true,” or “I don’t feel that way.” Instead, receive the compliment by saying, “Thank you for saying that to me.” When we reject compliments, we are stealing the blessing from both ourselves and the person offering the compliment. Accepting a compliment is doing a kindness for both people.

THINK ON THIS

“Words are containers for power. You choose what kind of power they carry.” – Joyce Meyer

Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 10:5, Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 23:7, Matthew 15:18, Philippians 4:8, Psalms 19:14

TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE

Words are powerful! However, before a word is spoken, it is a thought formed in the heart. What we say is the outward manifestation of what hides in our thoughts. Therefore, it’s important to control what we think. The best way is by controlling what we consume. Philippians 4:8 tells us where we should be focusing our thoughts: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” 

Unfortunately, our world bombards us with images, behaviors, and ideas that are the exact opposite of “pure, lovely, and admirable.” This is why we must be intentional about what we choose to watch, what we choose to listen to, and what we choose to think about. Negative stimuli in our environment beget negative thoughts, which form the foundation for negative words. The old adage rings true: “garbage in, garbage out.”

What do we do when harmful or negative thoughts appear out of nowhere? The field of psychology defines these instances as “intrusive thoughts,” which are unwanted or distressing thoughts that appear without warning. Everyone has intrusive thoughts, and they can be distressing if you don’t know how to combat them. 

The reality is, we can’t always control what invades our minds, but we can control how we respond. I heard a pastor explain it this way, “You can’t help it if a bird suddenly landed on your head, but you can keep the bird from building a nest.” We have the power to “swat” a harmful thought away by acknowledging that we don’t agree with it, and then replacing it with the truth of scripture. We have the authority to “take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Isn’t it empowering to realize that when you have control over your thoughts, you have control over your life? 

THINK ON THIS

You are not what you think you are; but what you think, you are. 

Scriptures: 2 John 1:12, John 1:5, Matthew 5:16, Proverbs 31:8,1 Thessalonians 5:11

BE A LIGHT

I don’t think anyone would argue with the fact that we live in a broken world where things don’t always go the way we planned. We may know in our head that we shouldn’t embrace lies, think negative thoughts, or speak hurtful words, but like the famous quote, “everyone has a plan until they get hit.” We are all leaky vessels who need regular reminders of the truth when we temporarily lose our way. Why? We have the unfortunate tendency to forget in the dark what we learned in the light.

Knowing this, we need to be that light for others by reminding them what is good, what is true, and what is beneficial. Amplify positive thoughts by speaking them out loud. Believe in people so much that they begin to believe in themselves. At the same time, we need to fight the lies that may have been thrown at them, which in turn would cause them to speak untruthful words to others because hurt people, hurt people. When we shine light on the lies that are holding them captive, the darkness has no choice but to flee.

Speaking of light, we can all be very thankful for the mother of Thomas Edison, the man who invented the lightbulb. She chose to shine by fighting the lies directed at her son. According to a U.S. Library of Congress biography of Edison, he was labeled “addled” (which means confused or distracted) by a school administrator, which led his furious mother to remove him from school and teach him at home. Many years later, Edison said, “My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me, I felt I had someone to live for, someone I must not disappoint.” 

Edison’s accomplishments, starting at an early age, prove the power of another person’s words and actions. His mother’s ability to see the light that shined in Edison has benefitted the entire world. She refused to shake hands with the lie that Edison was addled and instead planted words of life and encouragement into her son. Edison never heard the negative comments directed at him because his mother intercepted them. She chose to overpower the darkness of lies with the light of truth. Because of her, this world is a much brighter place.

THINK ON THIS

When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.