Offside

Scriptures: Psalms 1:6, 1 Corinthians 10:12

HOW DOES A LIFE GO OFFSIDE?

One brief moment. One seemingly small shift. Sometimes that’s all it takes to start a chain reaction that completely changes everything. That can be for good – like the moment someone gives their life to Jesus and their life (and eternity) is changed for the better. Or it can be for bad – like when someone loses their cool with their coach, gets kicked off the team, gives up on their sport, and turns to a life of crime…okay, that might sound a little extreme but sometimes the worst outcomes can start with something seemingly insignificant. 

So, how does the average life get offside? What happens that makes a person go from a bright and hopeful future to a dark and depressing place they never thought possible? Well, the specifics are different for each person, but underneath it all is a life lived for ourselves. It’s selfishness…self-centeredness…doing what we want when we want without regard for if it’s the right thing to do or what God might think of it. I’m not saying that someone who tries to follow God never experiences problems, but the kind of life-altering messed up stuff we’re talking about here always comes from someone’s selfish decisions (even if someone else made a decision that affected your life in huge ways…it was still their selfish decision). 

So, as we begin this plan, I want you to read these couple of passages, and spend a little time trying to get honest with God and with yourself. Are there areas of your life where you aren’t letting God have control? Are there areas where you know you’re living outside of what God wants for you but you just haven’t been willing to turn back to him? If the answer ends up being “yes,” then hand that over to God right away…commit to turning back and going his way. Because even if it seems like just a little thing, trust me…you never know just how far something little can take your life offside.

Scriptures: John 2:13-16, Ephesians 4:26-27

LEGIT ANGER, OR FEAR IN DISGUISE?

Let me tell you something you may not have heard before: anger is not inherently bad. Yes, anger can lead people to do some pretty awful things but the emotion on its own isn’t evil…it’s neutral. Even Jesus got angry a few times, and he was completely without sin…so anger can’t be sinful all on its own. The problem comes in what we choose to do with our anger. Anger is a basic human emotion…you can’t avoid getting angry every single day of your life. In fact, if you try, you’ll just find yourself emotionally repressed and all messed up inside. So, what do we do?

Well, anger is often a secondary emotion, meaning that our subconscious uses anger as a way of covering up something much more difficult to wrestle with. Often, that root issue is actually fear. We’re afraid, we’re helpless, and when we suddenly face a situation that reminds us of those facts, our brains can choose to flip the anger switch as a way of protecting us from the more real and frightening emotion of fear. Now, there are certainly situations where we are simply angry because we have witnessed something that’s worth being angry about (that’s the kind of anger we see Jesus experience in the Bible), so I’m not saying anger is always a mask for fear. But, if you’re the type of person that regularly deals with anger, you might take an honest look in the mirror and try to determine if it’s really just fear driving you towards anger. 

Fear of what? I don’t know…it’s different for everyone. Maybe you’re afraid of being rejected, so you lash out in anger to drive people away first. Maybe you’re afraid of seeming weak, so you act out in anger so no one will question how tough you are. I realize this is pretty deep stuff, and maybe you’ve never given much thought to whyyou struggle with anger. But, Jesus doesn’t want you to live in this semi-constant, uncontrolled state of anger. God gave you that emotion so you could respond appropriately to make changes in the world around you when injustice shows its ugly face. Anger can lead to good things, but never when it’s out of control. And the best way to get control of your anger is to figure out where it’s coming from. 

So, what makes you angry? Is it something that would also make God angry? If so, is there something you can do to be part of the solution to whatever is causing you so much anger? If the answer to either of those questions is “no,” then your brain is probably using anger to mask something deeper. Spend some time talking to God about what that might be, and let him begin to start healing that within you.

Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 10:1-3, Proverbs 3:5-6

EVERY CHOICE LEADS SOMEWHERE

Surely, the world has changed so much that people don’t allow children to do this anymore, but some of my favorite childhood memories were wandering around the woods in the middle of the night as a Boy Scout. I know that sounds weird to those who have never been, but we would practice navigating using coordinates and compasses in these night courses that the leaders would create (I know, I couldn’t possibly sound older right now). You would start somewhere, then have to set your compass bearing and walk the prescribed distance by counting your paces. Then, once you arrived at what you hoped was the correct point, you would set your next bearing, walk the right amount of paces to spot number-two, and continue the process. Here’s the potential problem. If you messed something up along the way (especially on the first bearing), you could find yourself way off course by the end. Because if you take your next bearing and walk your paces from the wrong spot, you’d end up at an even wronger spot for step 2. Then you’d be even farther off by step 3, and by the end of the course, instead of being back at camp, you’d be lost somewhere in the woods and have to try to use your clearly flawed navigational skills to get back to where you were supposed to be. 

Here’s why that story is still relevant in the age of GPS and phones that always know exactly where you are: our lives can be just like that compass drill. Think of every step in that adventure as a choice in your life – if you make a choice that is a little bit off, okay, you’re still kinda close to where you wanted to be. But then you make a second choice based off that first choice, and now you’re a little further off-course. Then choice after choice leads you ultimately to somewhere totally different than where you wanted to be. Every single choice we make leads somewhere, and if you stack enough choices on top of each other, it can lead you in the absolute opposite direction. 

So, the question for today is…where are your choices leading you? Are you heading towards the life you want to live? Are they leading you closer to (or further away from) Jesus? Individually, the little choices and tiny compromises might seem like no big deal, but those little choices add up over time, so we have to approach each choice carefully. Today, spend a little time talking to God about your choices. Ask him if you’re heading in a direction he doesn’t want you to go. Then, when you face a new decision (which happens multiple times pretty much every day), pause for at least a second to consider what choice would lead you closer to Jesus. If you’ll do that with each and every decision, you’ll end up so much closer to where you wanted to be. 

Scriptures: Proverbs 13:20, 2 Timothy 2:22

FRIENDS = FUTURE

There’s an old expression that goes, “show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” What it means is that the direction your closest friends are headed in life is inevitably the direction your life is going to go too. It’s human nature: we want to fit in, we want to go with the flow, and that “flow” is determined by the people we allow closest to us. 

You may disagree. You may say, “that’s just some peer-pressure hating, fear-mongering nonsense, and I’m stronger than the influence of my friends.” I hear you…I’ve said the same thing before. But I’ve also watched myself go down some pretty unexpected paths because of the people I chose to hang with. It doesn’t matter how strong you think you are, if the people closest to you are going somewhere, you’ll eventually go there too. And I’m not talking about your whole school, or the random kid who sits next to you in math class…I’m talking about those few people you consider your closest friends. Those are the ones we need to choose especially carefully. 

So, where are your friends headed? If you sit back and look at their lives, are they living the way you want to live? Are they making the kinds of choices you want to make? If the answer is no, be very careful. You may think you aren’t going along with them right now, but it happens much more subtly than you might think. If you keep hanging out with that same group, a couple years from now you’ll be surprised at where you’ve ended up.  

Scriptures: Matthew 6:33, John 10:10

WHAT IS AT THE CENTER?

Everyone has something at the center of their lives. We might have a million different hobbies, interests, ambitions, or relationships, but there is always one thing that ends up in the top spot. If you aren’t sure what yours is, just think for a minute about where your mind naturally goes when you let it wander. What do you think about the most? What do you spend most of your time/money/energy on? If a scheduling conflict arose, which thing would you prioritize every time? Whatever that thing is…that’s most likely what you’ve placed at the center of your life.

Here’s why I bring that up: if anything besides Jesus is placed in that top spot, you’re asking for trouble. You see, nothing satisfies or gives meaning to our lives the way Jesus can. No sport. No amount of popularity. No relationship. Those things can all be great, but when we make them the absolute most important thing in our lives, then we’re setting ourselves up to be totally crushed if for some reason that thing goes away. An injury takes out the rest of your season. That relationship ends suddenly. We can’t count on these things forever…things change! And if we build our lives around them, then our whole lives feel like they come crashing down when something temporary vanishes.

Jesus, however, will never change. He has always and will always be the same. He will never leave you or forsake you. He is the only thing worth building our lives around because he’s the only thing that won’t ever let us down. So, get honest with yourself today and determine if something besides Jesus is sitting at the center of your life. If so, move that thing out of the top spot and place Jesus back there. If you’re thinking, “how in the world do I actually do that?” It’s a good question. To start with, give that thing to Jesus…tell him that you want him to be at the center of your life, and even if he wants you to walk away entirely from that other thing, you’d be willing to for the sake of making him number one in your life. He may or may not want you to do that, but if you can be willing to give it up for Him, you’ll be well on your way to making sure Jesus is at the very center of your life.