Relationship… so often we fail to consider where someone is going and if that’s where we want to end up. If that’s you, it’s time to re-evaluate. God has something unique just for you and it’s important to find friends who will help you reach that goal. Join Natalie Grant & Charlotte Gambill as they dive into finding an inner circle that that brings you closer to God.
Dare To Be
Day 1
Scriptures: Psalms 1:1-2, Proverbs 13:20, Proverbs 27:17
Who You Walk With.
After a night out with your friends, do you feel encouraged and hopeful? Do you feel more justified in your hurt, anger, or disappointment? Do you feel exactly the same after you leave as you did when you arrived? So often, we choose our friends and build relationships with people based on proximity, but it’s important to consider who you spend your time with in a greater context. It’s easy to default to choosing the people who are right there, especially when they enjoy the same activities you do, but at the end of the day, your friendships are shaping who you’re becoming. Sometimes we need to pause and ask ourselves, “Am I becoming who I want to be? Or am I becoming who I’m around?”
Scripture is clear that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. Our nets should be cast far and wide when it comes to the love and kindness we extend to others, but there is a difference between being friendly to someone and being friends with someone. You can be friendly to anyone, but your friends are who you walk with, sit with, and share meals with during every season. They are the people who hear the “long version” of your stories with all the details, and they are the ones who should be able to understand and stick closer to you when things in life take a rough turn. Not everyone fits into that category, and that’s actually okay. You don’t have to freely share every detail with just anyone, even if you see them on a regular basis. It’s benficial to consider who they are and what they will do with what you share. Will they encourage you? Will they confirm your frustrations? Will they challenge you to keep going and draw from a deeper well?
Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Be careful to choose friends who sharpen you and help you grow rather than shaving you down.
Take a moment to evaluate how you feel after spending time with your friends. Remember that you don’t have to be friends with everyone and you don’t have to invite every friend into all areas of your life. Consider how you might shift your schedule, your activities, or your conversations to align your friendships with who you are becoming in Christ.
Day 2
Scriptures: Proverbs 18:24, Mark 5:35-40, 1 Corinthians 15:33
Your Inner Circle
Did you know there are different levels of friendships? It’s not a stark contrast between acquaintance and friend. Maybe you’ve noticed it before. You have the friend you go shopping with, the friend who you go to for dating or marriage advice, the friend who knows you the best and who will remind you of what’s true. There can be a lot of overlap, but the point is, not everyone will be everything to you. Not everyone will be in your inner circle.
In Mark 5, we read the story about Jesus going to Jairus’ house because his daughter has been sick. They receive word that she has died, but Jesus tells Jairus to “just believe” and continued on with him to his house. In verse 37, it’s noted that only Peter, James, and John were allowed to follow Jesus. When they arrive, verse 40 notes that everyone else was out while only Jesus, the disciples who were with Him, and the girl’s parents were allowed in.
The people who were not allowed in the room in Mark 5 were the people who responded to Jesus with laughter. They didn’t believe or agree with Him, and they weren’t allowed in. He didn’t say anything to them; He simply put them out. We can do the same with who we’re friends with. We don’t have to argue with them or disown them; we can simply not allow them into certain “rooms” in our lives. It makes me wonder if the little girl would still have risen from the dead if Jesus had spoken to her in the company of mockers. If Jesus was as intentional with the company He kept, we should be too.
Think of your life like a house. Which rooms are your friends allowed in? Everyone might be invited to the kitchen for community, but who can come in your office and speak into your career? Who can sit in your children’s play room and speak into their lives? Who can stand with you in the room where you’re believing for dead things to come back to life?
Day 3
Scriptures: Amos 3:3, Isaiah 40:31, 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Where You’re Going.
Have you ever gotten this question from a friend: “Hey, are you free on Saturday?” If you haven’t, you might be prompted to respond with an immediate yes. If you have, you probably feel more hesitant, wondering why they’re asking. You might clarify to yourself that you’re free to grab dinner, but you’re not free to help them move. It depends where they’re going, right? The same thing is true in friendships. We often jump into relationships with people like it’s an immediate yes to the question, “Are you free?” We fail to consider where they’re going and if that’s where we want to end up as well.
Scripture describes friendships multiple times in terms of building each other up. It’s fun to connect with people and do things together, but it’s not just about the activity or the fun. Do you feel better about yourself after a day with that friend? Are you sharper? Are you flying higher than you were before? Not every time you’re with your friends leaves you feeling like it was a really impactful moment, but as you look back over time, it’s important to consider the journey. If you realize you’re not going anywhere, or you’re not going where you want to go, it might be time to re-evaluate. God has something specific and unique for you. It’s important to find the friends who will help you get there.
Take stock of your friendships. Looking back, do you see how far you’ve come or do you see someone who you just like to have fun with? Recognize where you are, consider where you want to be, and try talking to your friends about how you can help each other move forward in the right direction.
Day 4
Scriptures: Exodus 17:12-13, Proverbs 16:28, Galatians 5:19-23
Check Your Circle.
Let’s talk about the group of people Jesus allowed in the room when He told the little girl to get up in Mark 5. It was a group of people who were closest to the need and who agreed with what Jesus said. Those who laughed were not allowed in. In the same way, there are ways you can know who should be in your close circle of friends and who should be put out.
Proverbs 16:28 calls out the one who gossips. Galatians 5 lists a number of things that display the “acts of the flesh.” Upon first reading, it might seem a bit extreme. You may not be practicing witchcraft or having orgies, but are your conversations full of anger or envy? If a friend is frustrated by someone at work, do you simply justify her feelings or do you encourage her to walk in step with the Holy Spirit, who supplies an endless amount of patience and kindness to flow through her?
In Exodus 17, Joshua is fighting a battle that he can only win as long as Moses keeps his arms raised. When Moses’ arms got tired, his friends brought him something to sit on and they held his arms up. Moses was believing for Joshua’s victory and his friends stepped in and believed with him. What a picture of friendship!
When you are sitting with your closest friends, it can look like a variety of different kinds of practical things, but at the end of the day, you want to be surrounded by friends who believe in greater things with you. You want them to be friends who will help hold you steady until you see the victory.
Take a moment to think about the fruit that comes from spending time with your friends. Does it look more like the fruit of the spirit or the acts of the flesh? Do you hold each other’s arms up when you get tired?
Day 5
Scriptures: Mark 12:31, John 15:15, James 4:2
Looking For Your People.
The most common question single people ask is how to meet people. How do I find the person I will want to marry? The same question could be asked of friendships. How do I find the friend who will stick closer than a brother? The answer is the same for both questions. First, ask God about it! Then go out and be the person you are looking for.
We often look to our own resources to find solutions before we bring our problems to the Father. Maybe we think He doesn’t care or that our problem is too small, or maybe we don’t think asking Him will work. But James 4:2 says, “You do not have because you do not ask God.” He cares about everything, especially who you are friends with. His word isn’t filled with wisdom and advice about friendship without Him caring about your friends! He wants you to have good, strong friendships even more than you do.
Friendships are a two-way street. You might not have the friend you’re looking for, but are you the friend that someone else is looking for? If you find someone you want to be friends with, will they want to be friends with you? As you’re praying and seeking godly friendships, practice being a good friend. Extend a listening ear, a word of encouragement, and be consistent in how you show up for others. You aren’t the only one looking for a friend, someone is looking for you, too.
While you’re looking, while you’re waiting, while you’re meeting new people, you can rest and remain confident that Jesus is always with you. He is the friend who will never leave, who will always encourage you, and who will help you get connected to the people you need to meet.
How can you be a better friend to someone today? Maybe you feel like you need someone to sit and listen to you today, but as you wait for the right person to encourage you, notice who is around you that might need someone to sit and listen to them, too.