Hope for the Postpartum Mom

Scriptures: Psalms 46:1, Deuteronomy 31:8, Psalms 91:2, Isaiah 41:10, Psalms 34:8

Always Ready to Help

Amanda Taylor is a mom of 6 who experienced postpartum depression and anxiety, and was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis 12 days after her fourth baby was born. Jan Kimball, LMSW, LCSW, is a professional counselor, and gives practical help from a clinical perspective. In this plan, they will give you Scripture and biblical insights, as well as sound clinical advice to offer help and hope for postpartum moms. 

One in five women will experience postpartum depression. This black cloud of depression, tearfulness, anxiety, and dark thoughts, which arrives after the birth of your baby, can isolate you physically, emotionally and spiritually. Postpartum depression is a real and treatable medical illness, not a mental defect or character flaw.

After my fourth child was born, I experienced postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis. I experienced every emotion imaginable: sadness, happiness, anger, joy, mania, depression, anxiousness, and more. It was all very overwhelming. 

One of the very best things to do when you are in an overwhelming season is to get in the Word. In my experience, the last thing I wanted to do was read my Bible. I wanted to lay in bed all day, not shower, not brush my teeth, and for sure not read the Bible. But when I did, it was very lifegiving, whether I felt it or not. 

Psalm 46:1 NLT says that, “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”

Sometimes our postpartum season can feel like a “time of trouble.” You might think things like, “I don’t feel anything towards my baby,” “I feel so distant from my husband,” or “why is this so hard? It doesn’t look hard for my friends on Instagram.” In your time of trouble, in your postpartum season, cling to this truth: God is your refuge and strength. He is always ready to help you. Right now. Today. Trust Him through this season. 

There is so much hope to be found in scripture for this season. These particular scriptures were not written directly to a postpartum mom, but the hope they offer in this season is still applicable. Hebrews 4:12 says that, “The Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow.” I am praying that the following verses encourage your heart and soul in this season.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” God is with you. Right now in your postpartum season. He will not fail you or abandon you. He is taking care of you. Our bodies are very complex and labor and delivery brings all kinds of mental, physical, and emotional challenges. And through it all, He is faithful. 

Psalm 91:2 says that, “He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust Him.” Trust Him today, no matter what you are feeling. There were times I couldn’t even read my Bible because of how bad I felt in my postpartum season. Turn on the audio and let it speak truth over you. Turn on a worship playlist. Trust Him. He is your God. 

I felt so discouraged during my postpartum season. Why did I feel so unlike myself? When would I feel “normal?” How long would this last? Why did it seem to last forever? This is what I know: God will strengthen you and help you just as He did with me. Isaiah 41:10 says, “don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” 

God is good. God is faithful. He sees you. He will not abandon you. He will not fail you. Not during your postpartum season. Not ever. You can trust Him no matter what. 

Today’s Action Step:

Every day, we want to encourage you not only with truth, but also with an action step. We fully believe that God will be with you and help you during your postpartum season. We also know the value in reaching out for help. 

Today we want to challenge you to reach out for help. Reach out to your spouse, family, OB/GYN, family doctor, friends, pastor, counselor, etc. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t be embarrassed. There is hope for you. 

Prayer for the Postpartum Mom

Lord, I pray right now that Your truth may penetrate deep into my soul. May I be encouraged and strengthened by reading Your Word. May You remind me how faithful You are in every season, including the postpartum season. Lord, You are my refuge. You are my safe place. You are always ready to help. Your timing is perfect. May I trust You every single day. Thank You for never leaving us or forsaking me, even at some of my weakest moments. I praise You for all you do, in every season. You are good. Amen. 

Scriptures: Psalms 40:1-3, Psalms 27:14, Psalms 62:1, Psalms 5:3, Psalms 59:9

He Hears Your Cry  

When you are in a hard postpartum season and are experiencing depression, anxiety and/or psychosis, it feels like it will never end. It feels like it is your new normal. Postpartum depression symptoms occur in 15 to 20 percent of new mothers. It is important to know that postpartum depression is treatable. You will get well. This season will end. 

When I was in the middle of my postpartum illness, I had zero patience. I wanted to snap my fingers and be back to normal. I wanted to pray and seconds later be my normal self. I believe in the power of prayer and I know that God is able to heal anyone by his miraculous power. I also believe that God gave us doctors, community, medicine, exercise and more to help us. There are times that healing comes instantly. And there are times that healing comes over time, and we must be patient. 

Psalms 40:1-3 says that, “I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.”

Almost all postpartum seasons involve tears. It can feel hard, lonely, scary and more. Look at what Psalms 40 says: “He heard my cry.” God hears you. He sees you. He cares for you. He is there for you. He has never left your side. He will lift you out of the pit of despair. The New Oxford American Dictionary defines despair as “the complete loss or absence of hope.” I sure did feel the absence of hope during my postpartum season. There was none. Here is what I want you to know: trust His heart when you can’t see His hand. He will set your feet on solid ground. He will steady you along the path. He will give you a new song to sing. It may not be in your timeframe, but His timing is perfect. 

I have a love/hate relationship with how much the Bible talks about waiting. “Wait patiently” seems like an oxymoron. But the Bible is clear that waiting is purposeful and good. Psalm 27:14 says “wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.” I love that this verse starts and ends with waiting, and in the middle it says to be brave and courageous. Brave is defined as “enduring or facing (unpleasant conditions or behavior) without showing fear.” Last I checked, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and postpartum psychosis are unpleasant conditions. No one asks to go through those things. But we can go through them without fear. Why? Because of what we read yesterday in Isaiah 41: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” God is with us in our waiting. 

I love when Psalms 5:3 says, “Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning, I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.” Not only are we supposed to wait patiently, but to wait expectantly. Expectant is defined as an “excited feeling that something is about to happen, especially something good.” Our waiting is not wasted. Our waiting is purposeful. Every morning during our postpartum season, we can wake up and bring our requests to God. We can wait well because we know He is working all things out. 

Today’s Action Step:

Every day, we want to encourage you not only with truth, but also with an action step. When we are going through despair, it is so easy to isolate ourselves. We don’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. But the best thing you can do is to get out! Isolation is not your friend. Being in fellowship with others can be a lifeline. Postpartum depression can create isolating behaviors such as pushing others away, unwillingness to answer your phone calls or texts, and avoiding social interactions. We challenge you to grab coffee with a friend, go for a walk, do something that normally brings you life. It can really help. 

Prayer for the Postpartum Mom:

Lord, I admit that it can be so hard to wait. When I am hurting, the last thing I want to do is wait for healing. I want it instantly. And sometimes Your healing does come instantly. But sometimes I have to wait. I pray for patience. I pray for the boldness to wait expectantly, to know You are working behind the scenes. May my waiting not be wasted. May I use this season to draw close to You, maybe even closer than I have ever been to You. May I develop an intimate relationship with You in the waiting. This season can produce a lot of fruit in me down the road. Lord, thank You for hearing my cry. Thank You for giving me a new song to sing. Help me be brave. Help me be courageous. Draw near to me during this time. Thank You for your faithfulness. Amen. 

Scriptures: Psalms 91:1, Psalms 46:10, Psalms 139:13, Exodus 14:14, Matthew 11:28

The Importance of Rest 

Sleep is an important part of self care, and vital to the healing process. God wants us to be good stewards of our bodies, yet many of us struggle to identify and meet our self care needs. Adequate sleep is vital to our wellbeing, and sleep deprivation makes us feel fragile and vulnerable, prone to negative thoughts and false beliefs. Postpartum depression can create significant sleep disturbances, such as insomnia, excessive sleeping, or frequent awakenings. Add these symptoms to the sleeping habits of a newborn, and quality rest seems impossible. God wants us to dwell in Him, and the Hebrew translation of dwell is “to rest.” 

Most times, instead of resting, I think that we as moms feel like we need to be super mom. Social media does not help in that aspect. You deliver your baby. Arrive home. Are back in your skinny jeans. And back to your normal routine of grocery shopping, playdates, carpool line, etc. 

And you know what’s okay? To deliver your baby. Arrive home. Keep the pregnancy pants on. Have groceries delivered. See if your husband or friend can pick up your other kid(s). And lay in bed and rest. 

And you know what the Bible says? It talks about the importance of rest too. We will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty (Psalms 91:1). We can “be still and know that He is God.” God, the creator of the universe, made all of the delicate and inner parts of your baby. God knit him/her in your womb. God made him/her wonderfully complex (Psalms 139:19). This same God that created your perfect baby will continually take care of you while you rest during your postpartum season. 

One of my friends said she has a trigger when she knows she needs sleep. When she starts thinking irrational thoughts about her baby, she finds the help she needs so she can rest, take a nap, or get longer stretches of sleep at night. If you find yourself overly irritated, emotional, screaming, crying, angry, detached, disinterested, etc., it might be time to rest. And let’s be honest, you might be thinking, “that sounds good in theory, but due to my circumstance, there is no way that is happening.” My advice is that your mental and emotional health are too important to not find a way to get rest and/or sleep. 

I love when Exodus 14:14 says, “The LORD himself will fight for you. You need only to be still.” And yes, the context is a little different. Being delivered from the Egyptians is a little different than delivering a baby. But the same truth applies to us. The Israelites were in a position to deal with a lot of emotions. They were scared of what was happening. Verse 10 says that they were “terrified and cried out to the LORD.” They grumbled, saying, “it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert.” The Lord delivered them from the situation they were in. They could trust Him. 

The same is true for you in the postpartum season. It can feel scary at times. Thoughts may come to your mind out of nowhere. You may not know how to handle your new newborn. Or two under 2. Or two young kids and a baby. We can grumble about our situation: “this is so hard,” “I can’t do this,” “everything feels so hard right now,” etc. In all of the emotions, here is the truth: The Lord WILL deliver you. He is with you in this season and He will be with you out of this season. You can sleep. You can rest. You can trust that He is in control. 

Today’s Action Step:

Every day, we want to encourage you not only with truth, but also with an action step. 

Today’s action step is probably obvious: REST. Take a nap. Ask your husband to take one of the middle of the night feedings so you can get 6 hours of sleep instead of 3 hours. Call a friend or a family member and see if they can watch your baby/kids while you nap. Sleep is extremely crucial and it is important to be intentional about developing and maintaining healthy sleep habits. Make quality rest a priority, and if necessary, speak with your physician about your sleep patterns, possible caffeine use, and any other factors which could be an issue. 

Prayer for the Postpartum Mom

Lord, thank You that You are the Creator, not just of the world, but of my precious new baby. You formed him/her perfectly. I praise You for that. Thank You for providing rest. I ask for Your continuous provision. Provide rest. Provide sleep. Provide pockets of time where I can simply be. Today I choose to rest in the shadow of Your wings. Things can get done later. I simply want to be still and trust You throughout this tired season of my life. You will not fail me. Amen.

Scriptures: Romans 12:2, Romans 8:5, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Hebrews 13:21, 2 Corinthians 12:9

Think About What You Think About

Yesterday we talked about the Israelites and how they grumbled and complained in the desert. The Lord was right there with them about to deliver them from the Egyptians. If you read the previous chapters of Exodus, God provided manna for them. God provided their every need, yet they complained. How quickly they forgot. And how quickly we forget. 

It would have been neat to read in Exodus 14:10 and 11 that “the Israelites were terrified, but they remembered the Lord’s provision in the past, therefore they walked confidently with Him in the desert and waited expectantly to see how He would deliver them.” Instead, they were focused on negative thoughts and forgot all God had done. Their thoughts were not full of truth. Their thoughts were negative and full of lies. They told Moses that dying in Egypt would have been better than the new situation they were in. 

Which leads us to this thought: the importance of our mindset during the postpartum season. Our lives move in the direction of our most powerful thoughts. And our thoughts dictate our feelings, beliefs and actions. When fighting depression, our mind should be fed with powerful truths of who God is and who we are in Christ. You are a beautiful anointed creation of the Most High.  He loves you. He will never leave you alone in this black hole. 

I am going to be super honest and say, this was really hard for me and can still be hard for me. During my postpartum season, my thoughts were so negative and would just spiral out of control. It was hard for me to get my thoughts back on God’s truth. But I did fight for it. I found truths and clung to them. I put scripture by my sink so when I was washing bottles for the millionth time, I was clinging to truth. I put scripture on my bathroom mirror so when I was getting ready, I would cling to truth. 

Romans 12:2 says “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” How do you renew your mind? By thinking about what you think about. Are your thoughts true or are they lies? If they are lies, replace them with truth. Over time, those truths will help renew your mind from the lies that were infiltrating it. 

Lies I believed during my postpartum season: 

“I am failing.”

“I am not a good mom.”

“I cannot handle this.”

“This is too hard.”

“Things will never get better.”

“I am weary.”

Etc. 

One lie would lead to another lie and then another, and all of a sudden I believed I am the world’s worst mom. 

I took Romans 12:2 to heart and focused on renewing my mind with truth:

“I am not failing. I am doing the best I can. God equips me.” (Hebrews 13:21)

“I am a good mom. God helps me in my weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

“I can handle this.” (Philippians 4:13)

“This might be hard, but God is with me in the hard.” (Psalm 34:17-18)

“Things will get better. He will restore you.” (1 Peter 5:7-10)

“God gives strength to the weary and renews our strength.” (Isaiah 40:29-31)

Although your mind may feel like your enemy now, it is important to understand our brain’s ability to reset. Thanks to neuroplasticity, which allows us to develop different thought patterns, we can change our thoughts. 

Today’s Action Step:

Every day, we want to encourage you not only with truth, but also with an action step. 

Today’s action step: think about what you think about. Grab a journal and write down some of your recent thoughts. If they are negative and not full of truth, grab your Bible and see what God says. Tape a scripture verse close to your sink. Tape a scripture verse on your bathroom mirror. Dwell on scripture. Scripture will heal your soul, even when it seems meaningless in the depths of your postpartum illness. 

Another action step today is mindfulness and daily affirmations. Acknowledge your feelings, but know they are ever changing, never permanent. Feelings are not always factual or reality based. You may feel abandoned or forgotten by God in this dark season, but these feelings are not truth. Truth is that God will never abandon or reject you. John 3:20 in the Message translation says that God is greater than our worried hearts and He knows more about us than we do ourselves. Do not allow your feelings to become your truth. 

Prayer for the Postpartum Mom

Lord, thank You for encouraging my tired soul. Thank You for Your truth that trumps all of the lies in my mind. Help me to renew my mind. Help me to cling to the truth when my mind wanders. Help me to rely on Your strength on my weary days. Today, I boast in my weakness. When I boast in my weakness, Your power comes to rest on me. Your grace is sufficient for me. Your power is made perfect in my weakness. Thank You for equipping me in this season to be the mom You have created me to be. Your truth revives my soul and I thank You for that. Amen.

Scriptures: Exodus 17:10-13, Galatians 6:2, 1 Thessalonians 5:14, 1 Peter 4:9, Ephesians 4:29

Don’t Go Through This Alone

We talked a bit on Day 2 about how isolation is not your friend and fellowship with others can be a lifeline. Today we will expand on that. 

Postpartum depression often creates feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness, which only increase the tendency to isolate, both physically and emotionally. A dark bedroom is not your answer, so allow God’s light to shine into all your dark spaces. “This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light. In Him, there is no darkness at all.” -John 1:5. Allowing His presence to light your dark moments requires transparency and authenticity. Allowing others into your dark world of postpartum  struggles can be difficult, but it is an important step in your healing process. 

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is in Exodus 17:10-13. The Israelites and Amalekites were in battle against each other. Moses was behind the scenes praying over the battle. He held up a staff in his hand and prayed for victory. As long as his arms were up, the Israelites were winning the battle. When his hands fell down, the Israelites were losing the battle. His hands grew tired as he held them up all day, so his friends Aaron and Hur came alongside him and lifted his arms. His hands remained lifted until the sun went down, and thus the Israelites won the battle. 

This is a beautiful picture of friendship and community. Moses could not do it on his own. He would have dropped his hands; the Israelites would have lost the battle, and the following verses would have been a different story. But Aaron and Hur saw that he needed help and stepped in. Aaron held up one arm. Hur held up the other arm. And the three of them saw victory take place. 

I think it is very common for a lot of us to act like everything is okay. When we are okay, we don’t see a lot of help coming from others because they think we don’t need it. It’s very important (and humbling) to ask for help. It’s okay to not be okay. And there are people in your life that would love to come and help you. The first step is saying you need help. Who are your friends like Aaron and Hur that can come and hold up your arms? Who can provide a meal one night so you don’t have to cook. Who can get you groceries one week because you are drowning at home? Who can come hold your baby so you can nap? 

Community is crucial. If there is no one in your life that can help you during this season, pray God provides a friend for you. Or couple friends for you and your husband. Life is meant to be lived together. We are not made to live on an island by ourselves. 

Find friends who will encourage you with good and helpful words like Ephesians 4:29 says. 1 Peter 4:9 says to “offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” It’s important to stop here and note that it is important to remember these verses and truth when you see others going through a hard time. Whether it is a postpartum season or something else, be like Aaron and Hur. Lift up their hands. Encourage them. Do something for them. 

Don’t live alone in your postpartum season. Don’t fake fine. Don’t act like everything is okay. People genuinely care about you and want the best for you. They want to help you. Humbly ask for help. Stay in community. It makes a hard season a little easier. 

Today’s Action Step:

Every day, we want to encourage you not only with truth, but also with an action step. Today’s action step is to be intentional with community. Think of people in your life that you can reach out to. Contact them today and let them know of a need you have. If you do not have community in your life, brainstorm ways to get it. Get plugged in at a church. Send the first text to a new friend asking them to go to coffee. Community is so important for all seasons of our lives, including our postpartum season. Seek out safe people to share with, allowing them to speak life into you. Utilize formal resources as well, such as the Postpartum Support International organization, which offers education, resources, and support groups for postpartum mothers. 

Prayer for the Postpartum Mom

Lord, I pray for the boldness to ask for help. I pray for the humility to not fake “fine.” I pray for Your provision through my friends and community. Thank You for the encouragement and hope You provide. Thank You for my sweet baby. Thank You for the good, the bad, the easy and the hard. You are faithful through it all. I am grateful for You and Your Word that provides truth and hope for my weary soul. Amen.