Squad Goals

Scriptures: Proverbs 17:17, Acts 2:42-47, Romans 12:10, Luke 6:31

Walking into a lunchroom and not knowing where to sit is one of those universal middle school moments. Your tray feels heavier than it should, your heart is racing, and you’re scanning the room, hoping—praying—to see a familiar face. But here’s the thing: it’s not just middle school lunchrooms.

Walking into a church for the first time can feel the same way. So can starting a new job, moving to a new town, or even stepping into a new season of life. In every stage, we’re looking for our people—our squad.

We’re wired for connection. We long to belong, to be seen, to be known. But finding those connections can be hard, intimidating even. And when life changes—and it always does—holding onto those connections becomes even harder. People move. Priorities shift. Friendships that once felt easy start to feel out of place.

It’s tempting to let this be the end of the story, to assume that belonging is always just out of reach. But I think there’s something deeper at work here. I think our longing for connection—our search for a squad—is rooted in something sacred.

The friendships in your life aren’t accidental. The people who cross your path—even the ones who are there for just a season—are part of something bigger. I believe God weaves our relationships together with purpose. The New Testament paints this picture beautifully in Acts 2: “And all who believed were together and had all things in common. They were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.”

This wasn’t just a group of people hanging out because they liked the same music or went to the same school. This was a community intentionally shaped by God, a community that saw what they had—not just their stuff, but their time, their talents, their very lives—as tools to serve one another.

It’s a beautiful, messy, holy thing to be part of a community like that. But here’s the challenge: communities like this don’t just happen. They take work. They take intentionality. They take a willingness to show up, even when it’s awkward, even when it’s hard.

Here’s the thing about finding your people—it doesn’t happen passively. It’s tempting to sit back and wait for the right friends to find you, to hope that one day you’ll walk into the perfect church or job or small group where everything just clicks. But the truth is, friendship—real, meaningful, life-giving friendship—requires something from us.

Proverbs reminds us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” This kind of love isn’t about convenience. It’s about commitment. It’s about showing up for each other, not just in the good times, but in the hard ones.

So the first squad goal I have for you is this: give more than you receive.

If you’ve ever found yourself frustrated in a friendship, chances are it had something to do with unmet expectations. Maybe they didn’t call when you thought they should. Maybe they didn’t show up the way you hoped. Maybe the friendship felt one-sided, and you were doing all the work.

But here’s what I’ve learned: the best friendships aren’t built on keeping score. They’re built on helping the other person win.

Romans 12:10 says, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Can you imagine what your friendships would look like if this verse was your goal? What if you made it your mission to honor the people in your life—not because they’ve earned it, but because they’re worth it?

This is what it looks like to reflect God’s love in your relationships. To step into a lunchroom—or a church, or a job—and decide to be the one who goes first. The one who takes the risk. The one who gives more than they take.

So here’s my challenge for you: take inventory of your squad. Think about the people in your life right now—the ones God has placed in your path. What’s one way you can show honor to them this week?

Maybe it’s reaching out to someone who feels lonely. Maybe it’s offering your time or resources to help someone in need. Maybe it’s simply choosing to see your friendships as sacred, intentional, and worth investing in.

Because here’s the truth: you don’t find your people by accident. You find them when you choose to love with purpose. And when you do, you’ll discover that God’s design for community is more beautiful—and more life-giving—than anything you could create on your own.

Scriptures: Hebrews 3:12-13, 1 Thessalonians 5:11-12, Hebrews 10:24-25

Getting to speak to hundreds of thousands of people each year, I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many incredible people from all walks of life—inside and outside the church. From CEOs to college students, pastors to parents, there’s one thing I’ve come to realize: no matter who they are, where they’re from, or what they do, I’ve never met a single person who didn’t need encouragement. Not one.

In fact, most of the time when I’ve taken a moment to encourage someone, their response is almost always the same: “I needed that today.” It’s a reminder that encouragement isn’t just nice—it’s necessary.

That’s why the second squad goal I have for you is this: encourage one person every single day.

Hebrews 3:13 says, “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” This verse gives us such a profound insight about people. When life gets hard—and it will—our hearts have a tendency to turn away from God.

I genuinely believe more people have walked away from God because of discouragement than because of temptation. It’s not that they set out to abandon their faith, but the weight of disappointment, heartache, and unmet expectations slowly pulled them away. That’s why your role as an encourager is so important.

Encouragement is the lifeblood of healthy friendships. And here’s the thing: it’s not just for the friends you already have. The same things that sustain great friendships are the same things that spark new ones. So even if you’re in a season of searching for community—if you’re feeling disconnected or lonely—start where you are. Encourage whoever is in front of you right now. When you make encouragement a daily habit, it prepares your heart, your mind, and your spirit for the kind of deep, life-giving connections you’re longing for.

One of the greatest needs of the human heart is to feel seen and appreciated. And here’s the truth: there’s someone in your life right now who hasn’t felt either in a very long time. Maybe it’s a friend, a coworker, or even a family member. They’re great at what they do, but their gifts have become so normal to everyone around them that they’ve gone unnoticed.

What would it look like for you to intentionally encourage them today? Maybe it’s a text, an email, or a handwritten card. Maybe it’s bragging about them behind their back to someone else. Maybe it’s simply taking a moment to tell them how much you see and appreciate who they are and what they bring to your life.

Here’s what I’ve learned: when you encourage someone, it’s not just good for them—it’s good for you. Encouragement is like oxygen for relationships. It breathes life into people, into friendships, and even into you. So today, take the time to notice someone. Encourage them. And watch how it changes not only their day but yours too.

Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 5:7, Mark 2:1-12, Exodus 17:12-14

Getting to cheer for other people can be really difficult when you’ve never had anyone cheer for you. But I made a decision a long time ago: I’m going to be my friends’ biggest fan.

Here’s why: my friends already have enough people telling them why their ideas are crazy, why they’ll never work, why they should just give up. The world is full of critics. So I’ve decided ahead of time that when someone shares something exciting or personal with me, my default response is going to be one of support.

Let’s say a friend shares a dream with me, and honestly, my first reaction is negative. Sure, I could share my doubts, and maybe—just maybe—those thoughts might be helpful. But in most cases, they’ll be hurtful. And here’s the truth about those negative thoughts: they’re almost always based on what I can see with my natural eye. But God calls us to see differently.

Here’s the third squad goal: Believe the best in people.

More than being known as a good friend, my hope and prayer is to be known as a faith friend. When someone has a big dream, I want them to call me. When someone gets a bad doctor’s report, I want them to call me. When someone feels like they’ve hit a wall and they need just a little more faith to keep going, I pray they think of me as the friend who will believe the best in them.

We walk by faith, not by sight. When someone shares something personal and vulnerable with you, you have a choice. You can respond by faith, or you can respond by sight. Responding by sight says, “This doesn’t look realistic.” Responding by faith says, “I believe God is in this, even if I can’t see it yet.”

Your prayer today should be that God would allow you to see your friends—and their situations—through His eyes, and then respond appropriately. Who’s someone in your world right now who could use your faith? Who could you encourage and remind that their dream, their struggle, or their situation isn’t impossible for God?

Be the kind of friend who cheers loudly, believes boldly, and responds with faith. Because when you believe the best in others, you help them believe the best in themselves. And that might just be the encouragement they need to take the next step.

Scriptures: Proverbs 27:5-6, 2 Samuel 12:1-10

Have you ever taken an inventory of what you actually talk about with your friends? It’s so easy to fill conversations with the weather, sports, or the latest political drama. But here’s the thing—while you’re talking about who’s winning or losing on TV, your friend might be silently losing the battle for their own peace. Why talk about sports when your friend is going through a divorce? Why debate government policies when your friend is battling depression or anxiety?

The fourth squad goal is desperately needed for you and your friends: Be willing to have tough conversations.

We all have “that friend” who’s walking through something that desperately needs a tough conversation—but they’ve made it hard for anyone to say something.

Maybe it’s the friend who’s starting to drink a little too much, a little too often. You’ve seen it go from a casual thing to something that’s clearly affecting their health, their decisions, or their relationships.

Or it’s the friend who has anger issues—someone who lashes out at everyone around them, leaving a trail of hurt feelings and broken trust. You’ve watched it damage their friendships, their family, and maybe even their career, but no one seems willing to bring it up.

Or maybe it’s the friend who’s so distracted chasing work or hobbies that they’re neglecting the people who matter most. They’re not showing up for their spouse, their kids, or even their closest friends. You see it, but you don’t know how to tell them they’re slowly losing the relationships that really matter.

Don’t be “that friend.” Don’t be the person who’s so fragile or defensive that no one feels safe enough to be honest with you. And don’t shy away from being the person who brings up the hard stuff with the people you love.

Here’s the thing: it’s not enough to surround yourself with the right people. You need to be having the right conversations. Be willing to go beyond the surface and talk about things that matter. The Bible says,“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses”(Proverbs 27:5-6). True friendship isn’t about avoiding discomfort—it’s about speaking the truth in love, even when it’s hard.

The worst feeling is when a friend tells you they’re splitting up with their spouse, and you didn’t even know their marriage was in trouble. You were hanging out with them, talking about everythingthe most important thing in their world. Sometimes, all it takes is one question: “Hey, how’s your marriage these days?” That one question could open the door for them to be honest, to find support, or even to begin the process of healing.

Be willing to have the uncomfortable conversations that others avoid. You might be thinking, “But I wouldn’t even know what to say.” Perfect. You don’t have to. Most people don’t need a perfect response—they just need someone who’s willing to listen. If they wanted a therapist, they’d go find one. What they need is a friend.

Friendships often dissolve not because of big blowups but because of unresolved offenses that pile up over time. The good news? Resolving an issue is almost always faster and easier than starting over with a new friendship. Address your issues early and as often as they come up. Don’t sweep things under the rug.

Ask God for wisdom to know the difference between something you need to bring up and something you need to let go. Not every friend will respond well to tough conversations—and that’s okay. You can’t control how someone else reacts. You can only control how you approach those conversations. Here’s the deal: how you respond to someone’s honesty the first time will determine if they ever feel safe being honest with you again.

So here’s the question: Who in your life do you need to have a tough conversation with? Who in your squad is heading down a path that’s paralyzing their future? Speak up. They might not like it today, but chances are, one day, they’ll look back and thank you for it.

Scriptures: Matthew 5:43-47, Luke 6:27-36

In ancient Jewish culture, people were taught that it was their duty to hate their enemies. It wasn’t just accepted—it was expected. Think of it like a University of Michigan student being told that part of their enrollment includes rooting against Ohio State at all times. It was what you did. It was acceptable hatred.

But then Jesus comes on the scene and flips the script. He doesn’t just tell people to stop hating their enemies—He tells them to love them. And not only to love them but to pray for them.

Think about that for a moment. Who’s on your prayer list right now? Most of us fill that list with people we care about—family, friends, loved ones. But Jesus says we should add the people who are against us to that list. Why? Because Jesus knew something we often forget: it’s easy to be kind to your kind.

You don’t need Christ’s love to love the people who already love you back. You don’t need divine help to care for people who see the world the same way you do. But it takes a whole different kind of love to extend kindness to someone who doesn’t look like, act like, believe like, vote like, or talk like you.

Here’s the fifth squad goal you should have for yourself and your friends: Love people who don’t look like, act like, believe like, vote like, or talk like you.

One of the greatest things you can do for the world—and for your soul—is to invite someone to coffee who you don’t understand. Sit with them. Ask them questions. And just listen. You don’t have to agree. You don’t have to debate. You don’t have to change their mind or even change your own. You can be right later. For now, just listen.

The truth is, your squad should include people who challenge your perspective. If everyone in your life sees the world exactly the way you do, you’re missing out on a depth of understanding that only comes when you let other voices into your life.

So let me ask you: Who in your squad doesn’t look like you? Who’s someone you may have viewed as an enemy before that you need to start praying for? Who’s someone who stands in the opposite corner of the room on any important issue in your life?

What type of person might you become if you were the first to leave your corner and move toward someone who doesn’t want to move toward you?

Jesus didn’t just tell us to love our enemies because it sounds nice. He told us to do it because it changes the way we see the world. It softens our hearts, broadens our perspective, and makes us look more like Him.

So, here’s the challenge: Pray for someone you struggle to understand. Love someone who stands on the other side of the line. Invite someone into your life who sees things differently. Because when you do, you won’t just change their life—you’ll change yours too.

Scriptures: Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:31-32, Romans 5:8

We’ve all come across people who have hurt us, and often it’s the people we’re closest to who can hurt us the most. Maybe a friend said something behind your back that completely shattered your trust. Maybe they promised to show up for you in a moment when you needed them the most, but they didn’t. Maybe they betrayed a confidence, sided with someone who wronged you, or let jealousy get the best of them and tore you down instead of building you up.

Those moments stay with us. They cut deep because they come from people we thought we could count on. Forgiveness in these situations feels impossible—like letting them off the hook means saying what they did was okay.

But here’s the truth: the best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive them. As long as you hold on to bitterness, you’re holding yourself back. There’s nothing you can do to change what someone did to you in the past, but you don’t have to let it keep you from having great relationships today. Forgiveness doesn’t mean the hurt didn’t happen. It means you’re refusing to let it define your future. Forgiveness keeps your past in the past.

If you hold onto bitterness from a previous hurt, it will keep every friendship and relationship you have in the shallow end. You have to let it go.

And when you do, that takes care of your history—but I’m even more concerned about your current and future relationships. So here’s the sixth squad goal: Forgive people before they hurt you.

If you wait for someone to hurt you to then decide how you’re going to respond, you’re already too late to be the person you actually want to be. Forgiveness isn’t just a reaction—it’s a decision you make ahead of time. You need to decide right now to forgive people before they’ve committed the offense.

Why? Because it’s the same system God uses with you and me.“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”(Romans 5:8). Long before you make mistakes next week or next year, God has already decided how He’s going to respond—with grace, forgiveness, and love. That’s the kind of grace we’re called to extend to others.

Here’s why this matters: If you don’t learn to forgive people before they hurt you, you’ll end up making your current friends pay for what your previous friends did to you. You’ll bring the weight of old wounds into new relationships, and it will slowly chip away at the trust and connection you’re trying to build.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior or letting someone walk all over you. It means setting yourself free by letting them off the hook. It means choosing to live with open hands instead of closed fists.

So, who do you need to forgive? Is it someone from your past whose mistakes are still echoing into your present? Or is it someone in your life right now who has hurt you but doesn’t even realize it?

Set yourself free by deciding today that forgiveness will be your default posture. Because when you do, you’ll not only free yourself from the weight of bitterness—you’ll also create the space for your friendships to flourish.

Scriptures: Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 27:17, Galatians 6:2, James 5:16

One of the spiritual disciplines often taught in church is accountability, but let’s be honest—accountability can feel awkward. A friend gets vulnerable and shares their struggles with you, asking for help. You check in with them the following week to see how they’re doing, and they tell you they’ve failed. Then what? Are you supposed to ground them? Put them in timeout? Slap them on the wrist?

In moments like these, you want to be encouraging, but accountability often feels tricky over the long haul. You don’t want to turn into someone’s spiritual police officer. But at the same time, you know this discipline is crucial for both freedom and growth.

The seventh squad goal is this: Embrace accountability.

Here’s the reality: you can’t say you want freedom and then take the steps to freedom lightly. The truth is, many people stay stuck in their struggles because they get lazy with their accountability. If you’ve asked someone to help you stay accountable, it’s not their job to chase after you—it’s your job to keep them in the loop. Accountability isn’t about being checked up on. It’s about inviting someone into your fight for freedom.

Accountability is more than just a quick text exchange or an occasional “How’s that going?” Accountability is a mutual agreement to wage war against whatever is holding you or your friend back. It’s a commitment to take your growth seriously, even when it’s uncomfortable.

But here’s something else we’ve grown accustomed to saying that needs to die: “I don’t want to be over-spiritual.” What does that even mean? Do we want to be under-spiritual? Saying this gives the impression that we’d rather play small and keep everyone comfortable than be who God has called us to be. But real accountability doesn’t settle for less. Real accountability takes courage. It invites others into the hard and holy work of becoming who God designed you to be.

James, the half-brother of Jesus, gives us clear instructions when it comes to accountability.“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed”(James 5:16). Notice the simplicity here. The recipient of the confession has one job: pray. Not lecture. Not guilt-trip. Not remind someone of how foolish they were. Pray.

Imagine what kind of friend you would be if your first response to someone’s confession was always prayer instead of opinion. Accountability begins with prayer because prayer invites God into the process. Without it, we’re just trying to fix things on our own.

The goal of accountability is growth—growth in areas like relationships, pornography, materialism, substance abuse, gambling, or even health. Whatever the struggle, accountability is about progress, not perfection. And if you want to grow, you have to be the kind of person who consistently invites your friends into your process of growth.

So here’s the question: Do you have good friends? Are you a good friend? At the end of the day, your wealth isn’t measured by the amount of money in your bank account—it’s measured by the quality of friends you have around you.

My prayer is that you and your squad would be a group of people who help each other accomplish God’s will for your lives. A squad that shows up for one another, prays for one another, and fights for one another’s freedom. Be the kind of squad that lifts each other higher, loves deeper, forgives fully, and never stops chasing God’s best for one another.