Raising Emotionally Healthy Kids

Scripture: Ephesians 4:26

Anger

We have all felt anger. As parents, we can help our kids know what to do when anger comes. We can remind kids that it is okay to feel angry, but that it is something God does not want us to hold onto. There are things we can do as parents with our kids to help them let go of their anger and turn it over to God. Ephesians 4:26 tells us, “’And don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives foothold to the devil.”

As you help your child learn to understand and process anger, here are some steps you can take:

• Listen and acknowledge how your child is feeling. Invite them to share what happened before they felt angry, what happened that led them to feel that way, and what they are thinking and feeling now.
• Invite them to recognize how they’re feeling physically, not just emotionally. Are they feeling tension in their shoulders, a racing heart, or having trouble sleeping? Guide them in calming their body through deep breaths, taking a walk, or drawing a picture.
• Help them take their anger to God in prayer. Model for your kids telling God about the things that are causing you anger and then invite your child to do the same. Then ask God to help the bring peace and calm that he can only bring.
• When it is appropriate, you can help lead your kids to forgiveness. Remind them of the forgiveness that we have because of Jesus, and that we can feel at peace when we grant that forgiveness to others.

Prayer: Dear God, We know that you have created us to feel a variety of emotions, including being angry. I pray that my child knows that you want more for them than anger. Be with our family as we walk through moments of anger together, and remind us that you are here for it all. We love you. Amen.

Scriptures: 1 Timothy 6:6, Ecclesiastes 9:10

Boredom

We all know the scene: it’s a beautiful day outside and your home is filled with toys and activities. What does your child say? “I’m bored!”

Boredom isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it can inspire our creativity or make us more aware of our surroundings. It can even draw attention to the opportunities God’s putting in front of us to do something good!

Here’s how you can encourage your child to lean into boredom and seek to do something productive with it:

• Encourage your child to engage in serving others. Rake leaves or pull weeds in a neighbor’s yard, walk the dog, create cards for a loved one far away, and more.
• Support your kids in reading the Bible, journaling to God, or creating invitations for others to join them at church.
• Take a walk with together and explore God’s beautiful creation. Take photos, draw pictures, or make a list of their favorite creations!

Prayer: Dear God, Thank you for creating my kids to be fun, excited, and engaged in the world around them. I pray that in moments of boredom you remind them of your presence. Help me to lead them toward you and celebrate your wonderful creation. Amen.

Scriptures: Philippians 4:7, John 14:27

Calm

Calm is an emotion we enjoy but sometimes overlook as a gift from God. As parents, we can help our kids recognize when they are feeling calm and learn to recognize that God is part of that feeling by trying these steps: 

• Point them to scripture like, Philippians 4:7 or John 14:27, which you read today. Remind them that God is the one that gives us peace, and that his peace is bigger than we could ever comprehend! 
• In calm moments, continue to encourage their emotions by playing soft worship music, removing loud toys, and minimizing distractions. 
• If your child is having a difficult time connecting their peace to God, ask them questions like, “How has God shown you his love today?” or “What happened that made you feel at peace?” These conversations can help kids to realize that God is caring for them and proving them with protection and peace. 

Prayer: Dear God, Thank you for providing us with peace beyond comprehension. We know that no matter what the world may provide, you are there for us. Help me to lead my kids to accept your peace and give you glory for it. Amen.

Scripture: Galatians 5:22-23

Happiness

We all want to be happy! As adults, it can be easy to forget that God is part of the happy parts of our life. As parents, we can help to remind our kids that God brings us happiness. We can also lead them to express thankfulness to God for their happiness like this: 

• Help your kids to understand that their happiness is from God and part of his plan! Encourage them to thank God for the things in their life that are making them happy. They can do this by thanking God in prayer, singing worship songs, or using their happiness to serve others 
• Celebrate your kid’s happiness by taking notice of what has led them to this emotion. Then invite them to share their joy with others. This selflessness is a reflection of the love of Jesus! 

Prayer: Dear God, thank you for the ways you bring us joy! Be with me as I celebrate with my kids. Help us as we connect our joy to you. Thank you for the incredible things you do. Amen.

Scripture: Psalms 34:18

Hurt

As parents, we never want our kids to feel hurt. But whether it is broken friendship, a missed opportunity, or feeling let down, feeling hurt is something we can anticipate for our children. When our kids are hurt, we can show up for them and help them to remember God is with them, too:

• When your kid is hurt, listen. Invite them to share what they’re comfortable with and acknowledge why they’re feeling that way.
• Provide comfort through prayer. Remind your kids that God wants to help us with our hurt, no matter how big or small. Teach them that just like they told you about their pain, they can tell God, too.
• Remind your kids that there is no specific way you need to pray to God. Instead, tell him how you feel and ask for strength and peace
• Invite your child to share their hurts with others who are trustworthy and caring. Whether it is a Small Group Leader, friend, or family member, let them know they are cared for by many

Prayer: Dear God, I know that when my children are hurt, you hurt with them. I pray that you provide them with comfort and peace in times of pain. Help me to show up for my kids in the ways that they need and be with them as they come to you. We love you. Amen.

Scriptures: 1 John 4:16, John 3:16

Love

One of the greatest things we can hear as a parent is our child saying, “I love you.” When our kids are feeling full of love, we should celebrate it. We can also take the opportunity for them to grow deeper in a relationship with the one who loves them more than anything – God!

• When your child is expressing love, talk to them about it. Sometimes kids express love about a toy or other material item. Help them to recognize that they may really enjoy playing with a toy or watching a certain TV show, but that true love is much more than that!
• Read Scripture with your kids, like 1 John 4:16 or John 3:16, which you read today. Talk about how God showed us love through Jesus!
• Create a list of all the ways God loves you and your kids. You can add examples, take pictures, or even have each person share their idea around the dinner table.

Prayer: Dear God, Thank you for loving us and our family. I know that the love you have for my kids is bigger than I could ever imagine. Equip all of us to share your love, and help my kids accept your love into their hearts. Amen.

Scripture: Isaiah 41:10

Sadness

Sadness is inevitable. As much as we want to protect our kids from facing sadness, we need to be prepared to walk through it with them. One way to do this is to help your child to develop some strategies to use when they are sad so they can turn to God for comfort. Try these:

• Allow your kids to express how they feel. This may mean crying, being alone, or avoiding activities they usually enjoy. Ask them to try using their words to express how they’re feeling. Remember that each child responds to emotions differently. Be prepared to recognize how they uniquely express their emotions.
• Remind them that God is with them, even in the toughest times. God has promised up hope and healing. When it’s appropriate, share with them how God has helped you when you were sad.

Prayer: Dear God, you know all of our inner thoughts and feelings. Help to provide comfort to my kids as they experience sadness. Be with me as I point my kids to you in challenging times. We know you are the ultimate comforter. Amen.

Scriptures: Jeremiah 30:17, Psalms 103:2-3

Sickness

Sickness in itself isn’t an emotion, but it can bring about our emotional side from time to time! No one likes to feel sick, and it happens all too often to our kids. As parents, we want to help our children to heal and recover from their physical ailments and to find comfort in the Lord. Here’s how you can encourage them:

• Give them time to recover. This may mean straying from their typical routine, allowing them time to watch their favorite show or movie, or rest while listening to quiet worship music.
• Pray for and with your child. Remind them that all things happen in God’s timing, and that he has the ability to heal and make them feel better. While they may feel frustrated that they don’t immediately feel better, remind them that God cares for them and hurts when they hurt.
• Invite others who care for your kids to pray for them, too! Let your child know that others are praying for their recovery. This helps them to feel seen, known, and loved.

Prayer: Dear God, You know the pain we feel when our kids are sick. Please be present with them in times of illness. Provide swift recovery and healing. Remind them that you are with them, and they can come to you for rest. Amen.

Scriptures: Psalms 107:1, Joshua 1:9

Sleepiness

Winding down for bed can be a great time to reflect on the day and its emotions. Here’s how you can take advantage of the quiet moments when your kids are close to sleep and turn them toward Jesus:

• Guide your child to reflect on what God has done for them today. Refer to Psalm 107:1 by asking what they’re grateful for that God did. Then thank him for it!
• Make a habit of praying with your kids each night. Model thanking God for the day and his love, asking him to be present, and praying for the night and day ahead. This helps to create healthy faith habits and draws your child closer to God.
• Parents, supporting your kid’s mental health can be challenging. Every child, situation, and feeling is different. Remember that God designed you to be the parent of your children. He has equipped each of us to care for our kids, and he’s there with us through it all. Even when walking through mental health struggles feels challenging, remember that God is with you.

Prayer: Dear God, thank you for trusting me to parent my kids. I know you have equipped me to do this important job. Help me to continually seek you in all my emotions, and to support my children to do the same. Thank you for loving us in every season. Amen.