This 5-day devotional is for those considering remarriage after the loss of a spouse. Don’t let your desire to remarry cloud God’s intended path for you. Through my personal story, scripture, prayer, and reflection, my hope is that you are led towards healing and wholeness in Christ, encouraged to trust God’s timing, and wholeheartedly embrace His plan as you navigate the road to remarriage.
Just Call Me Alisa
Day 1
Scripture: Psalms 34:18
Finding Healing in Wholeness
In 2015 I lost my husband at the age of 30. Life was unimaginably hard. I turned to alcohol, sex and marijuana to try and heal my pain. All of which led me down a round of darkness that ultimately led to a mental breakdown and suicidal thoughts. In 2018 I was desperate and in despair, but an encounter with Jesus started me on a journey of transformation.
One of those journeys was a place where I started to think about dating and what my future would look like with another man. To make the situation more complex, I had never dated as a Christian woman. The “worldly” way of meeting someone felt invalid and a contradiction to my new life as a follower of Christ.
While the idea of remarriage after loss might be on your mind, take a moment to understand that finding wholeness in Christ is a journey that doesn’t necessarily depend on finding a new spouse. Let God mend the shattered pieces of your heart, and open yourself up to the possibility that His love can fill any gaps left by your loss.
One thing that Jesus asked me to do was to think about and lean into Him to make me whole before I could even entertain the thought of a relationship let alone remarriage.
Scripture: Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
In times of loss and heartache, it’s crucial to remember that God’s presence is a balm for our wounded souls. This season of pain can be an opportunity for you to draw near to Him, allowing His love to bring healing to your brokenness.
Reflection: Think about the moments when you’ve felt God’s comforting presence during your journey of healing. How has His closeness brought you solace in times of brokenness? Consider ways you can lean into His love to find the healing you need.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, in the midst of my brokenness, I come before You. Thank You for being near to the brokenhearted and for the promise of Your healing touch. As I navigate this season of loss, help me to find my wholeness in You. Mend the shattered pieces of my heart with Your love and grace. Remind me that Your love is enough to fill any gaps left by my pain. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Day 2
Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1
Trusting God’s Timing
I remember when I began dating. I would enter every new conversation with a man while carrying the same questions in my mind: “Could he potentially become my new husband?” and “Could he be the new dad for my son?” To state that this immediately put a high and unrealistic level of expectation on every interaction would be an understatement. What I eventually ended up doing was prioritising my own needs over what God intended for me.
I was so eager to find a husband that I wasn’t allowing God to guide me or determine the right timing for that to happen. I chose to start my dating journey and seeking a new husband, but was that God’s plan for me? Of course, it was as He knew my heart, and He had someone in mind for me. But what He wanted me to learn was to follow His timeline, not my own.
Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Reflect on the seasons of life and how they unfold according to God’s masterful plan. Just as nature operates in cycles, your life’s journey is divided into different seasons. As you consider the possibility of remarriage, remember that God’s timing is always perfect. Place your trust in His wisdom and control, understanding that if a new partner is part of His plan for you, it will come to fruition at the right moment.
Reflection: Consider the times when you’ve witnessed God’s perfect timing in your life. How can you develop a heart that patiently waits for His plan to unfold? Are there areas where you’re struggling to surrender your timeline to God?
Prayer: Dear God, I acknowledge Your perfect timing in all things. I surrender my desire for a new relationship to Your timing and plan. Help me to trust that You know what’s best for me. Teach me patience and give me the strength to wait on you. May Your will be done in my life, even if it doesn’t align with my timeline. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Day 3
Scripture: Philippians 4:11-12
Contentment in Singleness
Once I realised that I needed to wait for God’s timing, I felt incredibly frustrated. I truly believed I was prepared! In hindsight, I can’t help but laugh because I was far from being ready. Why? The answer is simple: God needed me to be comfortable with myself and to rely solely on Him.
I remember having this encounter with Him where He challenged me with this question: “If I never bring a new husband into your life, will I be enough for you?” I was floored! How could He ask such a question just when I thought I was finally prepared to start out on a new journey with a new husband?
What I eventually learned over the course of an entire year was that before God could bring a new husband into my life, I needed to find contentment and peace in my singleness. I had to dedicate time to being alone with God. I needed to invest all my time in embracing and depending on Him.
I’m not going to lie, it was one of the most difficult times, but it turned out to be the most valuable preparation for my new marriage. Throughout that period of singleness, I discovered more about myself and the woman I am in the eyes of God. He prepared me for the new season of marriage by teaching me how to find contentment in my season of singleness.
Scripture: Philippians 4:11-12 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.”
Dive into the wisdom of Paul’s words about contentment. This journey of singleness can be an opportunity to deepen your relationship with Christ. Discover the joy that comes from finding your fulfillment in Him alone. Remember that genuine contentment doesn’t rely on having a spouse; it’s rooted in having Christ as the focal point of your life.
Reflection: Think about the moments when you’ve felt truly content and at peace. How can you actively nurture that sense of contentment through your relationship with Jesus? What steps can you take to find joy and purpose in your singleness?
Prayer: Heavenly Father, in a world that often emphasizes finding completeness in relationships, I choose to find my contentment in You. Help me to nurture a deep and fulfilling relationship with Your Son, Jesus Christ. Show me the joy that comes from making Him the center of my life. Fill me with a sense of purpose and satisfaction that only You can provide. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Day 4
Scripture: 2 Corinthians 6:14
Prioritising Shared Faith
I used to believe that if I found a man I genuinely liked, even if he wasn’t a Christian, it would be alright. I used to say, “God will change his heart.” However, as I continued to get closer to God, I came to understand that the most crucial trait I needed in my future husband was his deep love for God, just like my own. Nothing less would be good enough for me or be what God wanted for me.
I don’t have any fancy stories to share, but I can offer you an unvarnished truth, and it’s right from the pages of scripture. Making sure you share the same faith and love for God should be right at the top of your priority list.
Scripture: 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
As you consider a remarriage, remember the profound impact of shared faith in a relationship. The apostle Paul’s words remind us that a partnership thrives when both individuals share a spiritual connection. Consider the beauty of shared faith in a relationship. Just as light and darkness cannot coexist, the partnership between two believers can be a harmonious blend of values, understanding, and spiritual growth.
Reflection: Reflect on your personal journey of faith and how it shapes your desires for a partner. Are there qualities of faith that you believe are non-negotiable in a potential relationship? How can you actively seek a partner whose faith complements your own?
Prayer: Gracious God, I recognise the significance of a shared faith in a relationship. Guide me as I seek a partner for remarriage. Help me find someone whose heart is devoted to You and whose faith complements mine. May our shared beliefs strengthen our bond and our journey together. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Day 5
Scripture: Jeremiah 29:11
Embracing God’s Plan for You
Scripture: Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This scripture is totally one of my favorites! I love it because it shows how much God loves us and wants us to be happy. When I spent that year getting closer to God, I started to realise that my plans might not always be what’s best for me. I had this idea of the kind of husband I thought I wanted, but as I got to know myself the way God made me, I understood that what I want isn’t always what I need.
It was a real lesson in humility, understanding that my hope and future depend on trusting what He has in store for me, not just what I’ve mapped out for myself. He knew the kind of husband who would be right for me, and He needed me to have faith in that, even if it didn’t match up with the picture I had in my mind.
Let me tell you, I’m so grateful I put my trust in Him and followed His lead when He nudged me to let go of superficial wishes and focus on finding a man with the right kind of heart and character. Did He keep His promise to give me what I truly needed? You bet! My new husband is everything I need and, guess what, now he’s everything I want too.
Reflect on the promise of a hopeful future that God holds for you. As you consider the idea of remarriage, remember that God’s plans are always for your ultimate good. Surrender your desires and plans to Him, acknowledging that His wisdom far surpasses your own. Even if the path doesn’t align with your expectations, trust that His plan is filled with goodness.
Reflection: Consider moments in your past when God’s plans led to unexpected blessings. How can you actively cultivate an attitude of trust in His plans, even when they differ from your own? How does the assurance of a hopeful future impact your perspective on remarriage and your journey toward wholeness?
Prayer: Loving God, I am grateful for Your plans for my life. As I consider the idea of remarriage and other desires, I lay them at Your feet. Grant me the wisdom to embrace Your perfect plan, even when it differs from my own. Help me to trust that Your plans are filled with hope and goodness. Lead me on the path You’ve set before me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.