Break Free From Envy a Six-Day Reading Plan by Anna Light

Scriptures: Proverbs 14:30, Galatians 5:19-23, James 3:13-18, Romans 8:6-11, Hebrews 12:1-3

Envy is a Destroyer 

Of all the emotions I thought I felt, envy wasn’t among my list. Jealousy? Yes. Comparison? Ugh, every day. Sadness? Anger? Anxiety? Hatred, even? But when I heard a teaching on this word from a favorite podcast, I immediately knew all those other emotions I felt were rooted in the spirit of envy. 

I hate feeling negative emotions. On the personality test called the Enneagram I am a type “7”. As a “7”, if I can avoid the pain of negative emotions I will find a way to do it. Simply pretending they didn’t exist wasn’t cutting it for me. I wanted to get to the root of my emotions so that I could truly be free, not just pretend to be free. It took some work, learning to bring those negative emotions to the light and to God for them to lose their power, but the work was worth it. I know that’s why I’m so passionate about helping others find mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom—because I’ve struggled so deeply with the darkness that comes from living in bondage to those negative emotions.

That struggle has become the catalyst to finding true and lasting freedom for myself. It’s something I want everyone to experience and as I find new levels of freedom I know I cannot keep them to myself.

The following reading plan is my own journey of discovering freedom from envy and the amazingly abundant life that comes from that freedom.

What is envy? Why is it important for us to understand how it affects us today? The world we live in is a breeding ground for the spirit of envy. Now, more than ever, we are faced with everyone’s life as they want it to be seen, as they design it, and the comparison to our own lives can stir up envy within us. We live in a culture of envy and may not even realize how this spirit undermines our mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

Envy can be described as a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck. It’s the root of those negative emotions like jealousy and comparison, but envy goes a step deeper. Jealousy says “I wish I had what they had.” Envy says, “Why should they have what I do not have?” Envy hates to see other people happy and secretly rejoices when others fall. As author Dorothy Sayers has said envy is “to look upon another with malice.” It is a destroyer, the great leveler; it cannot bear to admire, respect or show gratitude. 

“Envy rots the bones” says the writer of Proverbs. It is poison to the heart. Our flesh will always naturally feel the sting of envy when presented with the opportunity. It takes intentional work in our spirits to overcome the temptation to envy and be free to genuinely rejoice with others’ success and favor.

The damage of envy works two ways. You certainly do not want this spirit of envy festering in you, but what about the damage envy causes when it is coming against you from another person? I’ve been on both sides of the story and as you continue with this plan you may see how envy has damaged your heart and possibly your relationship with others. Both instances call for us to do some spiritual work in our hearts and minds to be free. 

My hope is that in the following days you will have the knowledge, tools, scripture, and confidence you need to release yourself from envy.  

Scriptures: Genesis 3:1-7, Genesis 4:3-8, 1 Samuel 18:6-16, Ezekiel 28:12-19, Mark 15:6-15

The History of Envy

Envy has been around for a long time. Actually before time. When Lucifer fell from heaven it was envy that took him down. Seeing his own beauty he was filled with selfish pride, and he wanted more—the highest place, the place of honor and glory reserved only for God. Remember the definition of envy? A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.

It could be said that envy is what drove Adam and Eve to sin in the Garden, prompted by the fallen serpent himself, to believe God was holding out on them. The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil meant they would be like God. But God said not to eat it…what was He hiding? Why was He holding back? So Adam and Eve took something they thought they deserved. 

Only a few years later, we see Cain struggling with bitter envy of his brother Abel. Abel’s sacrifice was more pleasing to God than his brother’s and the malice Cain felt drove him to murder. 

Saul’s envy of David drove him to madness. (1 Samuel 18) 

Envy sent Jesus to the cross. (Mark 15)

Envy is no small sin with which to contend. Listed among the seven deadly sins it is not something we should brush over thinking it is outdated or doesn’t affect us today. So many of the negative emotions you may struggle with are rooted in envy. When I realized this I was better able to fight for the freedom I knew was available.

As a writer it has always been difficult for me to appreciate other writers because I always felt threatened by their greatness, as if somehow their giftedness diminished my own. I couldn’t appreciate or admire someone else’s giftedness. I’m sure you’ve experienced something similar. You see or hear of someone achieving or receiving a desired outcome and instead of responding in positivity or blessing, your initial reaction is to debunk, back-bite, or accuse. You may want to be happy for them, but your flesh wants to poke holes or criticize the person or situation to level them down. 

This is especially tempting if the desired outcome is something you want for yourself. When we see others that have something we think we should have, envy keeps us from responding with blessing and celebration and instead delivers a sting of sour bitterness. We may cover it well (or think we cover it well), but it’s still there causing pain and damage on the inside. 

Envy is one of the most dangerous tactics of the enemy in our day because it’s become such an ingrained part of our thoughts. We may not even realize the damage it has caused us because we don’t want to admit we struggle. Even now, you may be dodging the promptings of the Holy Spirit, trying to convince yourself you don’t struggle with envy all that much. We think if we keep it hidden it will go away, but in fact, the more we push down those feelings of envy, the more they fester and grow in our spirit and produce fruit like resentment, anger, pride, depression, and anxiety. 

It is vital we come to understand how envy works its way into our spirit so we can safeguard our hearts and find lasting freedom. 

Scriptures: Proverbs 18:20-21, Ephesians 4:29, Titus 3:1-2, 2 Corinthians 3:18, Romans 8:1-5, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

Envy on the Inside 

Have you ever been talking to a friend or acquaintance and someone’s talent, good luck, or accomplishment is mentioned? The reply that follows can often be a comment that diminishes the person you’re discussing.

“Did you hear ________ wrote a book?”

“Yeah, but it’s self-published.”

“Their church is really growing.”

“Of course, when it’s all about entertainment.”

“She’s really lost weight.” 

“Well, it was lap-band surgery.”

Those kinds of comments are just sickening, but I’ll be the first to admit I’ve said and definitely thought ones like it before. 

Our judgmental cut down may make us feel better in the moment as we attempt to level the playing field, but what it really shows is a weak mind and a dissatisfaction in ourselves. 

Francis Bacon says of envy, “We who cannot attain another’s virtue are content to destroy his fortune.” We destroy others literally in our words, or in our minds, thoughts, and attitudes. None of it helps us live the free and abundant life that is available to us.

Each of us possess a unique reflection of God’s glory. But oftentimes the world (or your community, acquaintances, circle) cannot recognize or celebrate that unique glory. Instead, when we envy, we diminish glory. We attack giftedness to keep it from overshadowing ourselves. 

The truth is, someone will always have more, accomplish more, or be more talented than you in certain areas. That is the nature of how the world works. No one has it all, and true, restful contentment cannot be found on this side of eternity. However, we each possess something of value, something of worth, something someone else might even envy in us without us even realizing it. 

The goal then, is not to become a “second-rater”. This paragraph from the classic novel Atlas Shrugged explains it so well. “Do you know the hallmark of the second-rater? It’s resentment of another man’s achievement. Those touchy mediocrities who sit trembling lest someone’s work prove greater than their own. They bare their teeth at you from out of their rat holes, thinking that you take pleasure in letting your brilliance dim them.” 

When I read this passage it stuck out to me because I used to be a miserable “second-rater.” I used to believe others purposefully diminished me just by being better than me—just by being themselves. I envied certain achievement but didn’t have the ambition to achieve something on my own. I envied certain gifts and talents but didn’t have the insight to see my own unique gifts and talents. The passage goes on to say, “Their {the second-rater’s} dream of greatness is a world where all men have become their acknowledged inferiors. They don’t know that that dream is the infallible proof of mediocrity.” 

Would we really want a world where everyone is our acknowledged inferiors? How incredibly mediocre would that world be? It is the greatness of others that should awaken the greatness within ourselves. But that will never happen if we cannot learn to recognize, value, and celebrate the greatness we see in others and realize the gifts, attributes, and qualities God has given them are not tools to intentionally diminish our own. 

We may admire something in someone else, but if we not at rest with who we are enough to praise and verbalize that admiration, it festers into a poison that rots us from the inside out. 

The damage it causes on the inside of our hearts is devastating to our spirit. It is worth doing the hard work of digging up this feeling, severing it from the root, and watching it lose its power.

Scriptures: Ephesians 6:10-13, Romans 12:6-12, 1 Corinthians 12:4-14, 1 Peter 5:8-9, 1 Peter 4:8

Envy on the Outside

As I said in day one, the damage of envy goes two ways. We know the kind of damage it can do when it’s coming from our own hearts. But what about the damage it does when envy is coming against you from another person? 

Our culture of social media is a breeding ground for envy. If you’re not careful, and if you don’t guard your heart when you’re scrolling through other people’s lives, you run the risk of falling into a discontentment with your own life. Studies have shown one in three people feel worse after being on social media, and this is especially true for adolescents ages 12-18. Here’s why I think that is: 

Seeing people whose lives seem happier than our own—their success, talents and possessions—can lead to reactions of envy, which can cause people who feel that envy to share things that make their life seem more positive than it really is, thus creating a vicious cycle. 

Be mindful with whom you share your blessings. I like how John Eldredge explains this: “It’s not that others who envy you are wishing you harm, but envy opens the door to the one who does wish you harm.”

We live in a spiritual battle and our enemy will use whatever means necessary to destroy us, even using us against each other if we’re not aware. Your feelings of envy toward someone can cause their hearts harm, just as others’ envy of you can cause your heart and spirit harm. 

We’ve all been on both sides of the equation, maybe without even realizing it. We’ve dealt with debilitating envy toward others and we’ve received harmful envy fromothers. There are a few ways to tell if you’re experiencing the spirit of envy coming against you. Envy can be felt in the underlying exchange of energy experienced when interacting with other people. It’s a spirit unleashed when we give in to the evil, selfish thoughts: “It’s not fair.” “Who do they think they are?” “Why are they always the ones who are blessed?” “Why isn’t that happening for me?”

We’ve all experienced those thoughts, but have you considered others have had those thoughts about you? 

How do you know if you’re experiencing the spirit of envy coming against you? Here are a couple other signs:

1. Have you experienced a diminishing enjoyment of the blessings of God in your life? Envy is a thief and a destroyer. When this spirit is active in your life it can steal the joy that is meant for you to experience.

2. Have you experienced a loss of interest in things you used to enjoy or areas of your gifting?

I love to write. I was born with a gift and love for words but as I’ve ventured to share my writing I’ve found myself losing interest, getting agitated, and wanting to give up. Could it be that as I’ve shared my gift, the spirit of envy has stolen my desire to do the thing that brings me joy? 

What about you? What is the thing you love to do? The thing you feel uniquely called and gifted by God to do? Have you lost interest in it? Have you believed the lie it’s not worth sharing, pursuing, or doing for pure enjoyment? I’m not condemning people who experience envy. We all do. I’m condemning the devil himself who will use other people’s emotions to open a door for the spirit of envy to wreak havoc on our dreams, desires, and calling. 

We feed off of each other’s energy. Oftentimes the self-doubt you experience is the negative energy of other people’s intimidation of your potential. Thus, the spirit of diminishment, born from their envy, manifests in your heart holding you back. It’s time we wake up to the way the enemy uses us against each other to decrease our influence.

To heal and safeguard our hearts from the envy of others we can pray that the love of Christ comes between us and anyone we may encounter. Only His love softens envy. Show that love to those you encounter and the spirit of envy will not be able to penetrate your soul.

Scriptures: Psalms 50:9-12, Psalms 84:10-12, 2 Corinthians 9:8, Ephesians 3:20, Luke 6:38, Matthew 6:33, 1 John 4:7-11

The Root of Envy 

On a spring day, I took a hike through the woods with my six-year-old daughter. We were so excited it was finally warm enough to be outside, and we enjoyed exploring the thick woods around our house. Afterward she couldn’t stop talking about how much she loved nature. “I’m a nature girl now,” she would say to which I only smiled, knowing she would lose interest as soon as the Oklahoma humidity set in. “I’m a nature girl, and I’m the only one!” That sentence struck me. I was surprised that even at six she didn’t want anyone else to be what she was, to be the same or have similar interests. “There’s plenty of nature for everyone to enjoy,” I told her. 

If we’re honest, we’re all a little like this. We want to be special, to stand out and may feel uneasy if someone poses a threat to that significance. As I thought more about this I narrowed it down to a scarcity mindset. 

It can be hard for our finite minds to comprehend the abundance that is available in Christ. We fear the “blessings” or good fortune will run out, or that maybe God will forget about us. We want to be seen, noticed, celebrated. But when we see others being blessed it awakens our envy and we wonder if He loves us at all. 

Envy really isn’t born from contempt of other people’s blessings. That is the fruit of envy. I’m convinced the true root of envy is distrust in God. 

I can trace envy back to disappointment and possibly even anger with God. It’s not that I’m frustrated because others have things and I don’t. I’m frustrated because God hasn’t or seemingly won’t give me what I think I deserve and if I’m really honest, I don’t trust that He knows best. 

Isn’t He supposed to be a good God? A distrust in God stems from a lack of knowing Him in His true nature; knowing or remembering His true character. He is infinitely good. He promises to work all things for our good, but His goodness cannot be measured in giving us what we want. That’s not wise parenting. In fact it’s important to remember that He is love, so everything He does can be filtered through that lens.

He is also infinitely abundant. Psalms says He “owns the cattle on a thousand hills,” which means He owns everything and He will never run out. Do we believe that? Can we trust that He sees the big picture of our lives and there might be things we don’t yet quite understand? Could it even be possible that what He has in store for us is so far beyond our wildest imagination? Do we have faith for that? I’ve heard it said, “You can have God, or you can have understanding, but rarely can you have both.” 

Is God enough for us?

Getting to the place of rest where God is enough comes from knowing His true nature. Knowing His true nature comes from spending time in His presence, getting to know Him better. As Brennan Manning says, “You will trust God only as much as you love Him. And you will love Him to the extent you have touched Him, rather that He has touched you.” 

There we learn He’s not holding out on us, or punishing us. He is a good, good Father and He longs to bless His children. But it may look different than what we expect. If we can allow the feelings of envy, doubt, anger, and frustration push us toward His heart rather than away, we will find He always has much greater plans than we could ever imagine. Our hope then, is not in getting what we want. Our hope is in getting to the center of His heart, the place of true fulfillment.

Scriptures: Isaiah 53:3-12, Hebrews 4:14-16, Proverbs 11:24-25, Romans 12:10-21, Colossians 1:15-23, 1 Thessalonians 5:18

It’s Not Fair 

Perhaps the biggest obstacle in our search for freedom is feeling we’re not in control of our future. We like to think we are and the world tells us we can be, but in reality there are just things that we cannot make happen, or prevent from happening. That feeling of injustice runs deep in our hearts. We feel the sting of envy and inside we cry “It’s just not fair.” 

And we’re right. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that the kingdom of God is completely uninterested in equality. God is wholly against making things fair. 

I first realized this when I read the parable of the workers in the vineyard in Matthew 20. The landowner hired workers and agreed to pay them a denarius for the day. Several times throughout the day the landowner went looking for more workers, each agreeing to a denarius for their work. When the the day was over and the workers came to collect their payment, those who were hired first expected to be paid more than those who only worked three hours. 

When I read the story, I too felt that was only fair. What stuck me in the story was the response the landowner gave those who grumbled about the injustice. “Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?” 

God is not fair. He doesn’t give gifts, talents, or blessings equally. I don’t know why this is, but one thing I do know: God isn’t fair, but God is generous. 

In His all-consuming love He emptied Himself, became human, and dwelt among us. He experienced all the temptation we experience but was without sin. Then He took the brutal punishment of torture and death in our place. He is definitely not fair. If He was, every single one of us would be condemned to hell. 

He’s not fair and I’m so thankful He’s not.

He does, however, care very much about the condition of our hearts in regard to envy. He wants us to be free from the negative emotions that hold us back from His abundance. 

As C.S. Lewis writes in his classic novel The Screwtape Letters “{God} wants to bring the man to a state of mind in which he could design the best cathedral in the world, and know it to be the best, and rejoice in the fact, without being any more (or less) or otherwise glad at having done it than he would be if it had been done by another. {God} wants him, in the end, to be so free from any bias in his own favour that he can rejoice in his own talents as frankly and gratefully as in his neighbour’s talents–or in a sunrise, an elephant, or a waterfall.” 

As reflections of God’s glory we can rejoice when we see that glory, be it in nature, or in the talents and blessings of others. If everything is for Him and everything is from Him, when we’re encountered with something that might make our flesh jump back in bitter envy, we can train our spirit to be thankful for the generosity of God—even when that generosity is going to someone else. 

To truly overcome envy we must cultivate a heart of admiration and gratitude. One of the best ways to do this is to bless that which you envy. Speak out loud of the unique glory you see in someone that might otherwise make you feel envious. Believe me, they probably need to hear it. Speaking life severs the hold envy has on your heart and turns it into what it is really meant to be: gratitude for the generosity of God. Practice rejoicing with those who rejoice and praying for someone else’s success, even above your own. 

Gratitude releases you from envy. When we realize just how unfair God truly is, we can bring our bedraggled hearts into His loving arms and with a restful exhale, whisper, “Thank you, Jesus.”