Deep Clean: Getting Rid of Shame, Toxic Influences, and Unforgiveness

Scriptures: Psalms 51:1-19, Psalms 51:10, Psalms 139:23-24, Matthew 23:25-26

Deep Cleaning Our Hearts 

Think about the feeling you get after you deep clean your space. The clutter goes away, the surfaces get that gleaming, shiny look, and everything smells fresh and new. As you look around, you feel accomplished—like you can breathe again. 

We now have entire shows about people tidying up their homes, color-coding their pantries, and minimizing their stuff. But while we may be quick get on board with getting rid of our junk, what about the internal work of deep cleaning our souls? 

Many of us are carrying around emotional baggage, and our mental clutter can be overwhelming. But instead of addressing it, we often ignore it. It’s easier to keep moving, stay busy, and distract ourselves with activity than to address the very real mental load we’re carrying. 

But just as we can’t clean our houses by shoving everything into a closet, we can’t shove our emotional junk into a filing cabinet in our brains. If we do, it eventually spills out, often leading to relational conflict, physical side effects, and resentment. 

We don’t have to wait until we’re at our breaking point to evaluate what’s broken. In fact, it’s a really healthy practice to regularly invite the Holy Spirit to renew our minds and clean our hearts. 

We see this practice modeled for us in Psalm 51. David—known as a man after God’s own heart—has messed up. Big time. He’s just committed adultery with Bathsheba, then he tries to cover it up by allowing her husband to get killed. 

He writes a plea for forgiveness, then he prays this prayer: 

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 NLT 

David turns his remorse into genuine repentance. He doesn’t just shove his emotions down or hide in his shame. He turns to God. He invites the Holy Spirit to do a cleansing work in his heart. 

Every day, we have the opportunity to do the same thing. 

When we’re overcome by guilt, shame, bitterness, rage, or unforgiveness, we can ask God to give us a clean heart. When we’re faced with temptation, we can ask God to purify us. Even on a normal day, we can ask God to cleanse our hearts and fix our thoughts on Him. 

It’s time to invest in our souls like we invest in our space. 

It’s important to note that deep cleaning our souls doesn’t just mean fixing our behavior. It’s deeper than that. Deep cleaning our souls starts by evaluating the state of our hearts. 

In Matthew 23, Jesus is talking to Pharisees who are careful to do the right thing on tiny details but missing the right motivations in their hearts. His words capture why it’s important not only to clean the surface of our lives, but to allow the Spirit to transform our hearts: 

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.”Matthew 23:25-26 NLT 

Over the next few days, we’ll talk about how to deep clean our souls from toxic influences, relationships, and bitterness. But today, take some time to pause and reflect: What areas of my soul might need a deep clean? 

Pray: God, create in me a clean heart. Reveal to me anything in me that is displeasing to You. Show me any areas where I might need to allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse me, and help me honor You with the way I live. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: Genesis 2:25, Genesis 3:1-24, Hebrews 12:1-3, Romans 8:1, John 3:16-17, Romans 8:37

Deep Cleaning Our Shame

What would your life be like if you never experienced shame? Imagine never feeling unworthy, inadequate, or like you have to prove yourself. What risks might you take if shame didn’t hold you back? 

Unfortunately, we live in a broken world, and shame is no stranger to us. In fact, shame is one of the first emotions that shows up after the first sin.  

So, what is shame? 

Shame is the overwhelming feeling that our mistakes become our identity. Let’s take it back to the Garden. 

God tells Adam and Eve they’re free to help themselves to anything—except fruit from one tree. The serpent convinces Eve to try it, she convinces Adam, and shame quickly swoops in. 

Instead of running to God to admit they made a mistake, they feebly try to hide and cover themselves up. 

We do this, too. We make a mistake, and our instinct is to hide it. Or we’re too embarrassed, ashamed, or prideful to admit to God and others that we messed up, so we stew in our shame, feeling alone and broken. 

Guilt says, “Eating that fruit was wrong.” Shame, on the other hand, says, “You’re bad because you ate that fruit.” 

Guilt can often be the gateway to repentance, strengthening our relationship with God. Shame keeps us stuck in sin, distancing us from God. 

But when we follow Jesus, we don’t have to live in shame. Jesus’ empty tomb is a resounding call for shame to come off you. Just look at what Jesus did for us: 

… For the joy set before him He [Jesus] endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Hebrews 12:2 NIV

Can you imagine how much shame Jesus endured as He faced that cross? He’s naked, beaten beyond recognition, and about to die a very public death. And yet He endured the shame of the cross so that we could overcome shame once for all. 

That’s why the answer to shutting down shame isn’t self-help. It’s not doing good things. It’s not telling ourselves we’re awesome. It’s not ignoring our mistakes or compensating for them. 

The answer to shame is an empty grave. And when we focus less on what we’ve done and more on who God is and what He’s done for us—we’re on our way to conquering shame. 

The next time you’re trapped in a toxic shame spiral, convinced that what you’ve done disqualifies you from the family of God, here’s the truth you declare: 

I am not ____. Because of Christ I am ____. 

I am not bad. Because of Christ I am forgiven. (Romans 8:1, John 3:17) 

I am not broken. Because of Christ I am loved. (John 3:16) 

I am not enough, but Christ in me is more than enough. (Romans 8:37) 

Whatever lie shame is telling you, shut it down with God’s truth. 

Pray: God, I don’t want to separate myself from You any longer. Shame says that I’m too much, too bad, too messed up for Your love. But You say that because of Christ, I am loved, worthy, chosen, called, and forgiven. Replace my lies with Your truth. Thank You, Jesus, for conquering shame and offering freedom. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: Matthew 16:5-12, Matthew 5:29-30, Philippians 4:8

Deep Cleaning Toxic Influences 

Have you ever noticed your anxiety spike after spending a lot of time reading the news? Does your blood sometimes boil after scrolling through social media, seeing the misinformation and arguments that inevitably fill the comments? Have you noticed yourself becoming more cynical, critical, or crude in your conversations with others after listening to certain music, watching certain shows, or following certain accounts? 

While there’s nothing wrong with being informed, watching entertaining content, and spending time on social media, it’s wise to evaluate how all those influences are affecting us. If we’re finding ourselves feeling anxious, frustrated, and cynical instead of joyful, peaceful, and gentle, we might have a problem. 

This isn’t a new phenomenon. Jesus talked about this during His time on earth, cautioning His disciples to make sure they weren’t allowing toxic influences to take root in their hearts. 

In Matthew 16, Jesus and His disciples are traveling across the lake. At this point, Jesus has already fed the 5,000 and the 4,000, and the disciples are freaking out because they forgot bread. Jesus says something a bit odd in response: 

“… But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”Matthew 16:11 NIV

Jesus knew that a little influence goes a long way. Earlier, both the Pharisees and the Sadducees were trying to undermine faith in Jesus by trying to trap Him into saying something that could discredit His ministry. Jesus is warning His disciples not to allow that same kind of cynicism and doubt to pollute their minds. 

Just as the disciples had to limit the influence of the Pharisees, we also have to limit what influences we allow. What may seem meaningless or insignificant can, over time, start to corrupt our character and poison our souls. 

Jesus was serious about safeguarding ourselves against sin. In His famous Sermon on the Mount, he says that if your right hand causes you to sin, to cut it off. While we won’t literally need to cut away body parts, we do need to cut out anything in our lives that leads us to sin or causes us to stumble. 

That doesn’t mean we have to cut out every influence, exclusively listen to Christian music, or only follow other Christians online. However, it does mean that we need to spend time praying about what influences are the best investment for us and asking the Holy Spirit to help us deep clean anything we’re consuming that is slowly corrupting our character. 

And it’s not just about removing what’s toxic. It’s also about replacing bad influences with good influences—things that are true, right, noble, and praiseworthy. And when you make the switch, you just might find a little more of God’s peace in the process. 

Pray: God, I want to please You in every area of my life, including the voices I listen to. Give me wisdom about any bad influences I need to cut out, and show me how to honor You with my time. Help me fix my thoughts on things that are good, right, true, noble, and praiseworthy. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: Proverbs 13:20, Matthew 12:1-15, Matthew 7:6, Hebrews 10:24-25

Deep Cleaning Toxic Relationships 

Many of us struggle with the tension of loving others while also setting boundaries for ourselves. But what if the two aren’t at odds? What if setting boundaries might be the most loving thing you can do? 

The thing is, our friendships matter significantly. Pastor Craig Groeschel often says, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” 

Proverbs 13:20 NIV reminds us: 

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.  

If your future is influenced by your closest friends, do you like the direction your life is headed? 

It’s a big question, but it’s an important one to regularly ask yourself. It’s okay—and encouraged—to limit toxic relationships. That doesn’t mean we don’t love others or that we can’t have non-Christian friends.

It does mean that we set boundaries in our relationships and that our closest friends are ones who are encouraging us toward love, good works, and godliness. 

Jesus modeled this for us in His ministry on earth. In Matthew 12, He’s hanging out with His disciples, and some Pharisees start questioning His character, His motives, and His friends. Jesus asks them a series of questions to try to help them see what’s right. 

Then, He heals someone on the Sabbath, and the Pharisees are ticked off about it. In fact, verse 14 tells us that in that moment, they plot to kill Him. 

What’s Jesus’ response? 

He doesn’t stick around to convince them they’re wrong. He doesn’t continue to ask them to see reason. Here’s what he does: 

Aware of this, Jesus withdrew from that place. A large crowd followed Him, and he healed all who were ill. Matthew 12:15 NIV

Jesus left. He set a boundary, and He stuck to it. He knew that staying would only anger the Pharisees and prevent Him from living out His purpose. So He moves on with His disciples and keeps healing people. 

We can follow His example. We spend energy trying to love others, care for others, and tell others about Jesus. But when that energy is met with closed hearts and open hostility, we walk away and keep going. 

We keep sharing God’s love. We keep doing God’s work. We keep doing what’s good. 

It’s okay to limit relationships that limit you. While we are challenged to love our enemies, pray for those who persecute us, and go the extra mile for others, we’re also encouraged not to throw our pearls to pigs—meaning that we can’t spend all of our energy on those who won’t receive our love in the first place. 

So, today, consider any relationships that you might need to deep clean. Then, spend time praying about how you can set some loving boundaries. 

Pray: God, thank You for Your truth. Show me any relationships in my life where I need to set boundaries, and give me the wisdom to know what those boundaries are and the courage to stick to them. Help me become a better friend to those in my circle, and show me which relationships to invest my energy in. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: Matthew 18:21-35, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:1-15

Deep Cleaning Unforgiveness 

The process of deep cleaning is long and painful. You not only have to pick up the clutter but also have to address the hidden dirt that collects in the baseboards, the corners, and the places you don’t often look. In the process, it starts to look and feel even messier than you started, and you’re tempted to walk away and give up. 

The process of deep cleaning our souls works the same way. It’s painful to unpack a lifetime of emotional baggage. But if we keep going, we will find healing.

One of the hardest things to purge is unforgiveness. We’re tempted to think that unforgiveness gives us power, when in reality, it keeps us a victim. 

Yet we keep clinging to our unforgiveness, convinced that doing so is fair. 

But as Jesus followers, we don’t focus on what’s fair. We focus on being faithful. And 

one of the most faithful things we can do is offer forgiveness, especially when it’s undeserved. 

Just look at how Scripture describes forgiveness in these two passages: 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. … Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and … Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:8, 12-13 NIV

We’ve got to deep clean our bitterness, rage, and anger, and replace it with compassion, kindness, and humility. Why? Because we’ve been forgiven of much. 

It’s not easy to forgive. But when we follow Jesus, the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in us. And His Spirit is strong enough to help us forgive those who have hurt us, even in the most horrendous ways. 

So, when you’re struggling to offer forgiveness, consider this question: Do you want to be right, or do you want to be healed? 

You can choose to keep holding on to hurt, convinced that keeping score keeps you ahead. Or you can choose to forgive anyway, knowing that you’re never more like Your Father than when You forgive one of His kids. 

This kind of deep work requires humility, honesty, and compassion for both yourself and the other person. And while forgiveness is not a magic solution that will fix all your problems, it does help you fix your eyes on your Father, who is guiding you, helping you, and cheering for you in the process. 

Pray: God, thank You for Your forgiveness through Jesus. I’m really struggling to forgive _______ for ________. But I know that forgiveness means freedom, and I want to be free. Help me completely surrender my hurt to You, and help me receive Your kindness, comfort, and compassion. I want to choose to forgive others today and every day. Help me release resentment and choose kindness, trusting You in the whole process. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: Matthew 9:20-22, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Romans 8:1-39

Deep Cleaning Your Past

It’s hard to ask the Holy Spirit to cleanse us, because it means admitting our brokenness. Often, we’d rather hide our mistakes or try to self-help our way to Jesus. But the Gospel isn’t about pulling ourselves up to God’s level. It’s about God sending His Son down to ours. 

Your past doesn’t have to paralyze you. Your mistakes do not define you. Your brokenness is not too big for the God who set the stars into motion. 

Sometimes, the most faith-filled thing we can do is come to God in the middle of our mess, acknowledging that it’s too big for us to clean up. 

We see a powerful example of this in Matthew 9. A woman who had been bleeding for 12 years approaches Jesus, knowing that if she can only touch the hem of his garment, she’ll be healed, whole, and restored. 

This woman would have been considered ceremonially unclean, meaning that she had been rejected for more than a decade. Can you imagine the faith required to push past a crowd who says you’re unworthy to get to the Savior? 

This woman recognizes she needs help, and she sees her Helper. And what happens next is a powerful reminder for us all: 

Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment. Matthew 9:22 NIV

Her faith healed her. Not her efforts, good works, achievements, or brilliance. Her faith. 

The truth is, none of us can deep clean ourselves. Our mess is a reminder that we need a Savior, and His name is Jesus. 

Pray: God, I come to You today feeling the weight of my mistakes. Remove my guilt and shame, and remind me of Your love, forgiveness, and mercy. Help me overcome any unbelief in my heart, and strengthen my faith so that I can serve You. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: 1 John 1:9, John 15:1-8, John 16:33, Romans 12:1-2

Jesus Makes Us Clean  

Imagine your mind filled with heavy suitcases, labeled with things like, “bitterness,” “unforgiveness,” “mistakes,” and “shame.” Now, imagine throwing out those heavy bags and replacing them with things like “peace,” “love,” “acceptance,” and “salvation.”  

That’s what Jesus came to offer us.  

When we come to Jesus as we are—baggage and all—1 John 1:9 tells us He is faithful and just to cleanse us from our sin. And He doesn’t just clean us up—He makes us new!  

So, as we seek to deep clean our souls from the things that hold us back and weigh us down, know that Jesus Himself is the only way to true, lasting freedom.  

In this life, we will have trouble. Just as we fling off old baggage, new baggage will pop up. But Jesus is with us, and the Holy Spirit is within us, guiding us, teaching us, comforting us, correcting us, and purifying us.  

We get a powerful reminder of this in John 15:3. Jesus is about to fulfill His purpose—dying on the cross for our sins. He’s giving His disciples some final encouragement before this happens, and He reminds them that He’s the Vine—the way to salvation. Then He says this:  

“You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to You.” John 15:3 NIV 

Because of who Jesus is and what He’s done for us, we are clean. We are accepted. We are invited into the family of God. All we need to do is accept that invitation. And when we do, we can trust that the Father will continue to prune us, guiding us and helping us become more like Him.  

As you reflect on all of these things, consider how you can make it a regular practice to invite the Holy Spirit to deep clean your soul. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Do what David did. Take some time to ask God to give You a clean heart.  

Just like we mark our calendars to clean our homes, we can carve out time to ask God to renew our minds so that we can begin to know His good, pleasing, and perfect will.  

Pray: God, thank You for sending Jesus to make us clean and new. Show me something new as I prepare to read today. Holy Spirit, guide me and teach me. Open my heart to what You might be saying, and cleanse me of anything that isn’t pleasing to You. I trust You. In Jesus’ name, amen.