In July of 2017 I had a small stroke which led to the discovery of two brain aneurysms. This is my story of healing and what lessons I learned on this journey of discovery with God. You may not need physical healing as I did, but what I did to fill that space between the amen and my answered prayer will work, no matter what “troubled times” you are facing. Living the Word
Day 1
Scriptures: Isaiah 55:8-9, Matthew 6:8, Psalms 33:20
I find it interesting, but not surprising, that when you spend time in the Word, God prepares you for the battles ahead. For me, this came when I wrote a devotional called “Getting from the Amen to the Hallelujah” about 2 years before I was given an unsettling medical diagnosis. What’s crazy is that I didn’t realize that for three years I was living out of what God had shown me years before. I’ve always known that nothing surprises God. He’s told us through His Word that we will have troubled times.
John 16:33 NIV says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Many times our struggles are simple. It may take a change in our attitude, looking at the problem from God’s perspective or sometimes a good night’s sleep. But there are times we face situations that are so overwhelming that we are not sure what to do. I’d like to say that when I’ve faced troubles I’ve been full of peace and the first thing I did was pray. Well, that’s not always how it works for me. Many times I have to process the information and my emotions. But the good news is that I do eventually get there and I’m sure you do, too. So, what do we do in that space between the prayer and the answer?
I know personally how hard it is to live in that space. In the summer of 2016, I had a small stroke, which led to an ER visit, two doctor visits and an MRA & MRI. Eight days after my scans I got the call from my doctor. It was 9:30 pm and I was getting ready for bed. My doctor very calmly informed me that I had two, maybe three, brain aneurysms and he would be sending me to a neurosurgeon. I didn’t ask any questions. I just thanked him for letting me know. Then I looked at my husband and said, “I have brain aneurysms. Two, maybe three”. We both just looked at each other in shock. I remember saying, “Well, this certainly wasn’t something that was on my bucket list.” I laid there in bed. I couldn’t pray, I didn’t cry, and I really didn’t have any fear at that moment. But fear began to raise its ugly head as I waited and waited some more.
What I want to share with you over the next few days are the ways that I filled that space between my amen (yes, I did finally find my voice to pray), and the answer to my prayer. And how important it is to trust God’s process.
Day 2
Scriptures: John 1:1, Jeremiah 23:29, 1 Peter 1:6-7, Psalms 12:6, Hebrews 4:12
Over the next several weeks I began to deal with my emotions and the fear that was looming over me. I told my family and my core group of girlfriends. Then I waited and waited on the doctors. I was supposed to see the neurosurgeon but two weeks went by with nothing. I finally called and was told that there was nothing that he could do for me but would refer me to a vascular radiologist My first reaction was fear but I remembered what 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT said, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline..” This verse tells us that WE, you and I, have power. The word for power in this scripture is dunamis, which is the English word for dynamite. Does that blow your mind or what? (Insert giggling here). Two weeks later I was finally meeting with a vascular radiologist. And one week later I was having an angiogram. I was so thankful that I didn’t have to wait for my answer. Our doctor came in and explained that I did have two brain aneurysms. He went on to explain what the treatment process would be. I’m a firm believer that there is a Bible verse for whatever you are going through. Need healing? Well, a simple Google search will pull up almost every verse about healing. And yes, you guessed it. This is exactly what I did! As I read these powerful verses, they didn’t sit well in my spirit. They didn’t feel right and they didn’t make me think “YES!”. One day as I was praying, I heard, “I want to give you MY word on this”. My response was a simple “ok” and then there was silence. So, for several days, I read my Bible and waited for God to speak to me. Then one day as I was reading, I came across Ps. 118:17 NIV, “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.” I knew that was my scripture for this journey. So why pray the Word of God? John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God…..” In this scripture, “word” in its original text is logos. Logos refers to that which comes from God. It is to fulfill His purpose for our lives. John 1:1 goes on to say, “the word was God.” When we pray God’s Word, we are speaking God into our situation. According to Hebrews we also know that the Word of God is alive and active. Jeremiah tells us that the Word is like fire. Psalms tells us that the Word is pure like silver that’s been refined. When the fire comes into our lives it is powerful and can refine us, if we will let it. We also know that the Word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword. Simply put, there is nothing more powerful than the Word of God! That spoken word will bring power into your troubled times.
My prayer for you is that whatever situation you face you will ask God for His Word for that moment of your lives.
Day 3
Scriptures: James 4:8, Romans 10:17, Matthew 6:33, Psalms 62:1, Romans 12:2
Doctors never seem to be on our timeframe when we have an unsettling medical diagnosis. But, the date of my first aneurysm repair was finally scheduled. Over the next two weeks, I did have times that I had to fight anxiety. But what I found was, the days I spent time in the Word, the less anxiety I had. Romans 12:2 encourages us to be transformed by renewing our minds. I needed my mind that was full of fear to be transformed into a mind that was full of peace. Being in His word did just that for me!
If you’ve been a Christian long enough you know the importance of renewing your mind. But if you’re like me, the busyness of life always seems to get in the way. Work, kids, dishes, laundry, that ever-growing “To Do” list. So, I decided I was going to schedule a date with God every single day. I actually put this in my planner and on my calendar with a reminder. Sometimes I scheduled it first thing in the morning, my lunch break, or right before I went to bed. But what I found was that I liked the mornings the best because it set the tone of my day.
I also learned that there were other ways I could renew my mind. I would listen to a book by one of my favorite Christian authors. I would put on a YouTube video of my favorite Bible teacher, pastor, or I’d listen to my favorite praise music. I could do these things while I was doing laundry, cleaning the house, cooking dinner or on my commute to work. I think the biggest lesson came when I really began to watch what kind of TV I was viewing. I wasn’t watching anything that was sinful but it wasn’t always edifying. It was actually more mind-numbing than anything. Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. You can watch your favorite show and I still do. But it can’t be what your mind takes in the most.
I Corinthians 10:23 NIV says, “I have the right to do anything”, you say–but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”–but not everything is constructive.”
Ephesians 5:15 goes on to say, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise.” God wants us to practice wisdom in everything we do.
No matter what your life looks like right now, renewing your mind will always be key to how you handle your day to day world. And for me, it was what kept me and still keeps me grounded. I want to encourage you to start making regular dates with God. He loves when you want to spend time with Him because he always wants to spend time with you.
Day 4
Scriptures: 1 Chronicles 16:11, Psalms 84:11, Isaiah 55:8-9
Today is the last day we get to spend together, so I want to backtrack a little. When I first was told the scans revealed there were two or three aneurysms, I had to process that information. But my next thought was, “I’m believing God to heal those brain aneurysms”. I had my church, my friends, and family agreeing in prayer with me. But as I shared with you on Day 2, my results were not what I was believing for. What I found so interesting was that I was ok with this. After a few days, I began to realize that I was going to go on a journey with God and my final destination would be healing. You may not be needing physical healing as I did. Your “troubled times” might be something totally different. But what I think God wants us to do is to embrace the journey He has set before us.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 NIV
God was perfecting something in me. He wanted to do a greater work within me than just to heal me. A miracle would have been a WOW moment in my life. But would it have done the deep work in my heart that God wanted? Would I have the relationship with God that I have now? Honestly, I don’t think I would have.
Think about this: the relationships we have with people require cultivation. We have to put some effort into getting to know those people. I know my deepest relationships just didn’t happen. We had to spend time together. And in that time we spend together, I know who they are and they know who I am. I believe the same thing happens when we spend time with God in His Word and in prayer. The more time we spend with Him, the deeper we get to know Him and begin to learn who we are in Him.
Let’s finish up my story. The last repair was very deep in my brain and the procedure would take 3-4 hours. I remember being rolled down the hall telling God, “If it’s my time to come home, I’m good and I’ll run to You, but in my heart, I really want to stay earthside.” Four hours later I woke up in recovery thanking God that He had healed me.
What I learned was that healings come in many different forms. Sometimes we get instantly healed. Other times, God uses the medical field. And then there are times we get to go home.
What I want to leave you with is this: God sees the end from the beginning. He’s a loving Father who will withhold no good thing. We need to remember that His ways and thoughts are higher than ours.
My hope for you is that when “troubled times” come, you will not walk, but run to God. You will ask Him for His Word and embrace the journey He sets before you, knowing he always has your best intentions in mind.