Scripture: Zechariah 4:6-7

It’s Time

There is a medical procedure used by heart surgeons worldwide called cardioversion. Cardioversion uses electricity or chemicals to activate the heart and return it to its normal rhythm. Total cardioversion involves stopping the heart and then restarting it.

     An irregular heartbeat can cause great damage to internal organs, even death. Cardioversion restarts the heart, allowing it to regain its ability to do what it was designed to do, which is to supply life-giving blood to the rest of the body, in just the right measure and at the intervals required to sustain life. This amazing procedure saves thousands of lives every year.

     Unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, offense, hurt and injustice can have irregular and damaging effects on our spirits. These effects disrupt our spiritual health and can harm our physical health as well. Many times, this devastation cannot be solved through usual means; the hurt is too deep. When pain is this entrenched, there is only one way back to renewed health and strength for the assignment God has for your life: You need to restart your heart.

We have to learn to love like we’ve never been hurt. . . . As you read these words, you may be picturing the face of the person who has caused you pain. . . . Whatever [or whoever] it is, you have loved hard and were wounded. This someone has cut off your love supply. And you are not living fully, the way God intended, because you do not know how, or if it is even possible, to love like you’ve never been hurt.

     It’s amazing that our minds want to dwell on the past, the film reels of our failures—those who have hurt us or rejected us, and the injustices we have experienced. I used to play those experiences over and over in my mind thinking about what I wish I had said, the things I wish I had done differently and the injustice of it all. We do this, partly, because we can’t make sense of it, and our computer-like minds look for logical conclusions. But because we can’t reason our way to the justice we long for, the offenses are never resolved.

     And that is just where the problem lies in these endless imaginations: We try to reason through the pain, but injustice and hurt are not usually based in truth or logic or any kind of reasoning.

The Point of Attack

In my thirty-plus years of experience in ministry I have learned a profound set of truths.

1. When a problem makes no sense on a physical level, then there is something spiritual going on.

     As you spend hour after hour racking your brain for answers or trying to reason things through with someone, even with God, you find you are stuck in an endless loop that leads you back to the beginning. That’s not your fault. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means that you aren’t dealing with reasonable people. It means that the hurt you suffered is not something you deserved, and there is no human logic that will help you rationalize it. It means that the rejection you suffered was not because of anything you did, but because some selfish soul chose to delete you from his or her life. You will never make sense of this in your mind because it is only spiritually discerned.

     Let go. Shift your focus. Forgive and move on. Leave that person to the Lord to deal with, and trust that God has you, will always have you, and that His justice is on His timetable and not yours.

2. Spiritual issues will not be solved by normal means (logic, reason, justice) and must be dealt with on a spiritual level.

     When pain or hurt cannot be solved through physical means, step back and take action in the spiritual realm. Pray. Forgive. Love and bless anyway. Allow the Lord to give you a greater obsession. Trust with extraordinary faith for your extraordinary situation.

     This one is hard to grasp because, being human, we always want someone to blame. We want to put a face on our hurt so we can know where to direct our anger. But the fact is that our struggle is not against flesh and blood. “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12). Only prayer and faith will help you with these kinds of offenses and hurts.

3. No amount of thought or planning or worry will solve a spiritual issue or a spiritual attack.We replay the bad memories again and again. We talk about them repeatedly to anyone who will listen. We think of ways we can exact revenge. We poke and prod at our gaping wounds. In the process, we become bitter. Hardened. And, often, we withhold our love from those who need it most.

Restart Your Heart

You can spend your life looking back, and many do, or you can trust God with that face you see and trust God with that injustice you have suffered, knowing that your God is not blind. You can’t fix this. But God can fix you. God can create a new heart in you . . . His heart in you. And He will give you His eyes to see what He sees, His ears to hear what He hears and His heart to feel what He feels. His ways are higher, as are His thoughts, but He will give you His thoughts and His ways if you will ask for them.

     But before He can give you His thoughts and His ways, you have to be willing to let go of the hurt, the offense, the injustice. Let those things fall to the ground. Empty hands are required in order to receive the new thing. The old and the new cannot coexist in the same hands.

     This is a lot to take in on Day 1, but if you will give yourself as an offering before God during these 5 days, He will do a work in you. You will finish as a changed person with a heart that has experienced a restart.

[God] wants to give us a new beginning. A new story. A fresh start. He wants to heal what has been broken. He wants to reconcile what has been torn apart. . . .

     It is never wrong to love. It is never out of order to love. You do not compromise when you love. You never lower your standards when you love.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, as I embark on this 5-day journey, help me to take every step, not with fear, but with great expectation for all You are about to do. Speak, Lord. Heal, Lord. And teach me Your timeless truths.

Scripture: Luke 23:33-34

The Hardest Words Ever Said

I have often wondered how Jesus was able to remain forgiving and compassionate to the very end, especially when you consider the lies, betrayal, injustice, false accusation and sheer hatred directed toward Him. I believe that the hardest words ever said by a human might possibly be these words that Jesus said just before He died on that cross: “Forgive them, Father. They know not what they do.” But that’s what love, in its purest form, does. Love is a powerful force.

     Allow me to add some perspective. What if you were on that cross, and the betrayers and the accusers were children you love—either your own or other children you love and care for? Wouldn’t it still be your greatest desire to see them someday forgiven and reconciled with their heavenly Father? Could you really wish to see them judged and condemned to hell? I think that must be what God saw when He looked out on all those who yelled, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him!” I don’t think He saw evil. I think He saw His children—His own flesh and blood—confused, manipulated, irrational and misguided, victims of legalism run amuck.

     This begs a few questions. When you hear words like betrayal, false accusation, injustice or offense, what face or faces immediately come to mind? I would venture that at least one face appears. And here is the challenge: As God looks at the names and faces in your mind, what do you think He sees? Of course, He’s not blind; He saw what they did to you. But what do you think God sees? What do you think He wants you to see?

     I have discovered that trouble is one of God’s great servants because it reminds us how we need Him continually. God is not put off by your struggles. He stands ready to help you, to comfort you and to heal you. When you have reached the end of you, God is always there. He is on the mountaintop, and He is in the valley. When you are ready to throw up your hands, throw them up to Him.

     God is the creator of new things. It’s time to let Him give you a new beginning . . . a restart. It’s time to stop limping and allow God to bind up your bruises and heal your wounds: “Moreover the light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold, as the light of seven days, in the day that the Lord binds up the bruise of His people and heals the stroke of their wound” (Isaiah 30:26, emphasis added).

     Answer these simple questions and make a few decisions right where you are:

     Do you want to be right or reconciled?

     Do you want to be hurt or healed?

     Do you want to keep being the victim or start becoming whole?

     There is only one path to forgiveness. You must love like you have never been hurt. You have to be willing to say the hardest words ever said:

     “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.”

     “Father, forgive him. He knew not what he did.”

     “Father, forgive her. She simply does not understand the hurt she has caused.”

     “Father, forgive him. He could not possibly know the pain he caused.”

            . . . and yet, I ask You to forgive them and heal the hurt that is in me.”

     My guess is that there was one sentence above that resonated. Take a moment and find your sentence and think about it. Then pray on it a moment. Ask God to give you the strength and His Fatherly perspective to see that person or persons in a way you have not thought of. Ask the Lord to begin a work of forgiveness in you. More than likely this won’t all be solved right now, but I challenge you to give God permission to begin a healing work in you. Ask Him to begin the work of renewing your mind for the hurt you are holding on to, and for the person who caused the pain.

     The Holy Spirit will never go where He is not invited. Perhaps your greatest next step down the pathway to forgiving like you’ve never been hurt is in the act of giving God permission to do a new work in you.

     Allow me to pray this prayer over you as you read it.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, how hard those words must have been for You to say: “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.” Help me to say those words in every situation, offering up those who have hurt me or someone I love. Teach me Your perspective, Lord. Help me see what You see so I can do what You want me to do. Thank You for forgiving me.

Scripture:  Corinthians 13:1-8

Love Matters

My frustration mounted, but my heart broke. Arguments like this one had taken place many times, it seemed, not just with this daughter, but with others as well.

     During that particular episode, we were smack in the middle of a family crisis. Each day brought another fight. Some clashes were more disruptive than others. Some aroused deep sadness. Others harsh words.

Every family has been there. Maybe you are there right now. Family conflict is the worst, especially if you are the parent. You just want peace and harmony with the people you care more about than anyone in the world. You want your home to be a place filled with laughter and amazing memories, but no family is perfect and no home is immune to conflict. We have conflict because we are imperfect people trying to coexist with other imperfect people.

     It has been said that family provides us with life’s greatest joys and deepest sorrows. Conflict, when it goes unresolved, hardens the heart over time and builds walls where there were once bridges. Add a marriage to the mix, two imperfect people who many times look at the same situation differently, and you have the makings of a perfect storm. The friction that can occur in any discussion about what to do can sometimes add even more conflict and division. Satan’s strategy has never changed: divide and conquer. A house divided cannot stand.

     Meanwhile, life and the world we live in don’t shut down and wait for our lives to get back to normal. In fact, if your situation is the way mine was, while the walls are caving in at home you may be enjoying great success in your professional life. When we were going through our toughest times, our ministry was exploding and expanding at a record pace. But it can be very difficult to put on the professional face and paint on a smile when the things that matter most are falling apart. Try standing in front of thousands of people and delivering a word from God when there is hell at home. It’s at times like these that you feel the weakest and most vulnerable. But I have a few things to share that will encourage you.

In This Season

Here are five encouraging lessons for seasons of conflict.

     First, I have discovered an astonishing truth: God is attracted to weakness. When we are empty vessels, He longs to fill us with His grace, love and goodness. This is good news. An empty vessel is what God desires so He can fill you with what you will need for the season you are in. In times when there is great stress or conflict you need extra doses of grace, love and goodness. You have faith for this.

     Second, I have great news: It’s a season . . . not a sentence. This too shall pass, and when the storm has passed, only the harshest of words spoken will be remembered. So when you are in the heat of the moment, it is critical that you guard your tongue: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

     Today, several years after our toughest seasons, all of our children love and follow Jesus, and our relationships are strong. The memories are still as vivid as ever, but they no longer have any power over our lives. Now they serve as lessons and roadmaps for others who are in the thick of their storms.

     Third, the pain you feel is the pain you can heal. As a pastor I never worry so much about the people who are feeling the pain of their situation, because where there is pain, there is attention, and the more specific the source of the pain, the easier it is to focus your attention and your prayers. It’s the people who have grown so spiritually dull that they cannot even feel the pain they are causing that I worry about. Ask God to reveal, specifically, where the source of the pain is. All remedies begin and end at the root. Find the root and you solve the crisis.

     Fourth, never underestimate the power of being in God’s house. Even when you don’t want to go . . . go. Even if you have kids who don’t want to go . . . go. Even if it seems that the Word of God isn’t getting in and penetrating their hearts—or yours—it is. God’s Word never returns void (see Isaiah 55:11).

     Besides the Word of God, there are also the people of God—relationships that develop when people are together week after week over an extended period of time. And you never know when there will be that breakthrough moment. These moments eventually happened for my children, and it was largely because the people of God loved on them, prayed for them, mentored them and spoke life into them. If you are going through a storm in your home, stay in God’s house.

     Lastly, and most important of all, never forget, love matters. It really does. “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins’” (1 Peter 4:8).

A New Language

Love does cover a multitude of sins and speaks a language all its own. In everything we went through as a family and in every stressful conflict, down deep, my kids knew we loved them. They knew that even though there were disagreements, deep disagreements, everything we did or said came from a place of love.

     Love prays without ceasing. Love fasts. Love lays our children in the hands of the Lord daily. Love stays the course in the things that matter most, no matter the conflict it causes. Love stays in God’s house, love stays on its knees, and love never lets go. Love believes the best, and love has faith for the promises in God’s Word in spite of the current circumstances. Love matters. Always has. Always will.

     Life is an adventure in forgiveness. It’s all about releasing the past and reaching for the future. And I know of only one way to do this: Love like you have never been hurt.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, teach me to love as You love with unconditional love. And thank You for loving me. Help me to be more loving, not just to those who love me back, but to everyone You bring across my path. Thank You, Lord, for Your everlasting love.

Scripture: Romans 8:37-39

Love Never Fails

We just do not know how to love—all the time. Oh, we can love when we agree with one another. . . . We can love when we share the same lifestyle. We can even love strangers or those who don’t know us well. But it sure is harder to love those who are closest to us. Why? Because they can hurt us the most.

Love wins! Love wins all the time. Love never fails. I think that we forget too easily that the love we have for others is of a different kind. When you surrendered your life to Christ, the Holy Spirit set up residence inside you, and from that moment on you were given a new DNA, a new heart and access to a new kind of love. “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:19–20).

     When we make Jesus the center of our lives, we become part of a bloodline that sees hurt and offense differently because we see others differently. We love with a different kind of love. So when offense and setbacks come, if we look closely and ask God for His eyes, we see each situation differently from the way the world sees it, and the work of forgiveness can plant a seed and begin to take root.

     The flesh will cry out for justice, but the spirit will trust that God sees, God hears, and God will make it work for good and His glory in the end. But I’m the first to admit that this kind of love is not easy, and rarely my first instinct. My first impulse is to strike back and go on the offensive. But that is just what I said it was—my first impulse. I have learned over the years that I cannot let my first impulse be my first response. I have learned that in those moments when my blood is boiling or the cut is the deepest, I must do what David learned to do . . . step back, take a deep breath and inquire of the Lord (see 1 Samuel 30:8).

Focus Is Everything

I can tell you with great confidence that in every situation of great offense or personal attack that, however I chose to respond, God was always waiting in that place where my eyes lifted off my circumstances and turned to look to Him. Every time my focus shifted, He was there, and He will do the same for you. His love never fails. I am always amazed at how near He is. And His solution is always the same . . . love.

     Love is a weapon that can shatter division and rebuild what is broken. These are hard choices to make, especially in the heat of the battle or the attack, but if you will make these choices you will make room for God to do in the supernatural what you could never do in the natural.

Maybe you know well the sting of hatred or resentment. Maybe a close friend abandoned you because he or she was jealous. Instead of encouraging you, believing in you, this person cut you off. I want to remind you that when Joseph’s world turned upside down, when all hope seemed dried up, he held on.

     Perhaps the greatest revelation you can receive on the topic of offense and forgiveness is this: In every situation, and no matter how helpless you feel, you always have a choice of how to respond. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it to affect the person you refuse to forgive. The only person it hurts is you. Choose love over hurt.

     Forgiveness may not come immediately; in fact, that is rarely the case. But love can come immediately because it’s a choice, and a choice no one can take from you. Better yet, it’s the best choice; it’s the choice God desires and rewards. That’s a powerful promise! Choose to love others—always.

Press On

This next point is critical to the call and purpose God has for your life: No matter the offense or hurt, choose to keep pressing forward. So many times these situations can be paralyzing. Sometimes in my family, our greatest and most hurtful conflicts would happen just moments before I had to go to the church to preach before thousands of people. Those conversations with God on the way to the church would talk me out of quitting right then and there or from turning that car around and going back home.

     Pressing forward was a choice, but it was a choice birthed in obedience to God’s voice in those difficult seasons. Never forget that there is an enemy who comes to kill and destroy—and his tactic is always deception, because he is a liar. He will whisper defeat and indignation and condemnation with one purpose in mind: to get you to turn away from God and His purposes and His call on your life. Satan wants to kill your dream and cancel your assignment. Don’t give in.

     When you’re going through hell, don’t stop there. Keep moving forward.

     Choose to keep driving toward the goal the Lord has set before you. Rebuke those voices of defeat and condemnation in Jesus’ name and fix your gaze fully forward. Keep moving. Don’t give in and don’t stand still in those moments. The devil knows if he can cease your forward momentum there is a chance you will turn and go back.

     When the trials and conflicts of this life come, there will almost always be a face and a name associated with the attack. Don’t give in to your first impulse. Step back and inquire of the Lord. Love always wins. Choose to love others—always. Keep pressing forward, even when you feel weak. It is a great spiritual truth that when we are at our weakest He is strong on our behalf.

     And never forget that your circumstances are never intimidating to your God. Draw near to the God who is always so much nearer than you might have imagined. God wants to heal you and defend you and even avenge you if you will simply draw near. Do that now.

Prayer

Lord God, thank You for Your unfailing love. Thank You that even when I fall down or fail, You don’t withhold Your love for me. Teach me to love like that, Lord. Help me not to place restrictions on my love and to love even those who have hurt me. Thank You for Your patience and Your careful, guiding hand in my life, Lord.

Scriptures: Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 41:12

Pushing Past the Quitting Points

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. It’s a process, sometimes a long one. As Christians, we want the instantaneous. We are a microwave generation that craves solutions to problems in thirty seconds flat. News flash: While God certainly does perform instantaneous deliverance, that is the exception, not the norm.

     So pray and keep praying. Believe and keep believing. Forgive and keep forgiving. . . . Get wisdom from godly counsel. Do what it takes to heal the wound.

In short: Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Your family, your purpose, your calling—all are worth fighting for. You have to learn that your weapons are not physical, but they are mighty, and they will see you through those times when you want to give up or give in. There were so many times when we were dealing with our kids in the teenage years that it would have been so easy just to step aside and let them go make their messes. But that was not the role God gave me as their earthly father. The easiest way is seldom the wisest way. There are times you have to stand your ground when everything in you is ready to give in.

     When bad times become unbearable, step back and let the Lord fight for you. Every day, life happens! You’ve been there. I’ve been there. Everyone has experienced some level of frustration and pain amid the daily throngs of life. No one is immune to the realities of life. That begs the question, “What do you do when Bad Times turn into Unbearable Times?” The answer to that question eludes far too many of us, even in the Christian world. Why? Because we have all made the naïve and foolish statement, “Can things get any worse?”

     If you have ever uttered such a sentiment, you are in good company. The children of Israel made the same declaration. Moses and Aaron had asked the power-hungry Pharaoh to let God’s people leave for a few days of worship out in the desert. Sounds like a reasonable request. But the outcome produced more hurt and difficulty for the children of God than they had ever known.

The same day Pharaoh commanded the taskmasters of the people and their officers, saying, “You shall no longer give the people straw to make brick as before. Let them go and gather straw for themselves. And you shall lay on them the quota of bricks which they made before. You shall not reduce it. For they are idle; therefore they cry out, saying, ‘Let us go and sacrifice to our God.’ Let more work be laid on the men, that they may labor in it, and let them not regard false words.” – Exodus 5:6–9

     In an instant, an already bad situation now became unbearable! Ever had a day like that? A month like that? A year like that? Do you have an overloaded life demanding more from you? Do you have relationships that continue to make withdrawals without deposits? Do you find yourself in the depths of your soul asking God how you can keep your head above water?

     Drowning lives get God’s attention, and drowning people give more attention to God.

     I am sure you can identify with the Hebrew people in this timeless story. Bad yesterday! Today unbearable! But what happens next is usually life-changing. “Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Now you shall see what I will do to Pharaoh. For with a strong hand he will let them go, and with a strong hand he will drive them out of his land’” (Exodus 6:1).

     When we become desperate, we cry out in desperation, which is an entirely different kind of prayer. Desperate cries for help create divine deliverance and will push you through those quitting places. God heard the cries of His people and moved on their behalf. He will do this in your circumstances as well. The next time you find yourself in a desperate and unbearable situation, consider the following:

     Relax: “Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you” (Psalm 116:7).

     Cast: “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6–7).

     Rest: “My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him” (Psalm 62:5). “The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble” (Proverbs 19:23 niv).

     Those three words, relax, cast and rest, describe productive actions you can take when life goes sideways. Relax—God is working things out for your good in spite of what you see happening around you. Cast—Like casting a fishing line far from the bank, God wants you to cast your troubles far from the bank of your soul. Rest—Contented resting, untouched by trouble, is available for you in the midst of the unbearable times.

     Today set aside time to consider the challenging decisions or circumstances you are facing. Grab a piece of paper and write them down. Place them in order of weight or heaviness on your heart. Try to limit the number to the top three. One by one, spend time in prayer asking God to help you to relax in Him, cast off the concern and rest over the outcome. He’s a big God, and He can provide big comfort, hope and ultimately peace in the middle of the storm. When bad becomes unbearable, God will always be there, waiting for your eyes to lift off your circumstances and rest in His unfailing gaze.

     Never give up. Never give in. Push past those quitting points. It is always darkest before the dawn. Joy comes in the morning!

Prayer

Dear Lord, You know where I am weak and where I lack the resolve I need for every situation. Be near me, Lord, I pray, especially on those days when I feel as if I cannot go on. Help me push past the quitting points in my life. Make them markers that remind me of those days when You helped me overcome.