My Big Fat Mouth

Scriptures: James 3:1-12, Luke 6:45, Romans 10:10

 Where You Want to Go

Take a deep breath and imagine this moment. You’re in a conversation with people you care about. It’s great until some thought pops into your head and you say it only seconds before desperately wishing you could swallow it back into your mouth. As soon as your last word leaves your lips, you see pain-filled eyes looking back at you. Someone else piles on more. Another defends. Suddenly, your conversation has gone somewhere you never wanted to go. 

Okay, breathe again. That didn’t really just happen. But it probably has, right? Why do we say things we regret? The author of James, probably Jesus’ brother, spent almost an entire chapter explaining this phenomenon. Here’s what it comes down to: your tongue is a rudder. 

A rudder? Okay, so you probably don’t travel by boat as often as James might’ve. A rudder is the piece on a boat that gets lowered into the water to help steer a boat. In very simple terms, if a captain wants to turn, he turns a wheel that triggers a lever to move a rudder, which turns the boat. Now imagine a giant ship. The captain might move his hand an inch, to move a rudder a few feet, to change the destination of a ship by hundreds of miles. 

Your words don’t take you somewhere you never wanted to go; they amplify something your heart wants.

If your words are a rudder, then you’re the captain. Jesus just made it plain. He basically said your mouth is just how your heart speaks. Your words don’t take you somewhere you never wanted to go; they amplify something your heart wants. 

There’s hope. When your heart goes the right way, your mouth will too. Salvation is our best evidence of this. We believed in our hearts then confessed with our mouths, and we were saved. 

For the next few days, you’ll hear from four people who are overcoming comparing, complaining, gossiping, and lying to go where they really want to go.

Ask: Where do I want my life to go? How are my words heading in different directions?

Scriptures: Romans 9:20, 2 Corinthians 10:12-13, Ephesians 4:7, Colossians 1:16, Psalms 139:14-15, Ephesians 2:10

Destroy These Comparison Traps 

Comparison seems to be the default of every part of our life. Think about it. How do you know when you have the best price on a car? You compare. When are you pleased with your waist size? You compare (preferably to larger). How do you know where you stand with God? You compare. It seems life-sucking comparison traps are everywhere, so before we can break free, we’ll need to identify some of them.

The Performance Trap, aka The Hamster wheel: This trap compares and measures our efforts and success to others. We get caught up in striving for being better than others instead of striving for being the best you. At my college graduation party, I actually went to one of the department heads and asked where my grades stood compared to the rest of the class. True story! And he knew the answer. And now you feel the power of the comparison trap because you want to know my ranking, don’t you? 

The Pride Trap, aka The Unending Sky-scraper: This trap compares who we are with who we perceive others to be. We’re always striving for recognition and acceptance from others instead of resting in our recognition and acceptance from God. 

The Insecurity Trap, aka The Two-way Mirror: This trap compares our weaknesses to others’ strengths. I fall into this trap when I long for the strengths of others instead of thanking God for my own. Staring in this two-way mirror leaves us feeling like we’ll never be enough, instead of seeing all God created us to be.

The Envy Trap, aka The Green-Eyed Monster: This trap compares what we don’t have to what others do have. Money, career, kids, home, relationships, anything. I get stuck in this trap when I try to figure out how to get what I don’t have instead of figuring out how to give what I do have.  

These comparison traps put others’ efforts, strengths, and stuff as the goal and purpose of our lives. This quickly steals the abundant life God intended. Your energy, time, and purpose is wasted when you try to be like others, do like others, and have what others have. Jesus knows who you are and why you were made. He has given you everything you need to fulfill His purpose in you. In today’s Bible reading, you’ll be reminded of who you are, Whose you are, and where you should keep your focus, so you can break free from the life-sucking comparison traps you find yourself in.

-Brandon, comparison destroyer

Ask: Which comparison trap is sucking the life out of me? What is God’s truth for me?

Scriptures: Philippians 2:14-18, Philippians 4:11-13, Philippians 4:4, Matthew 11:28, Isaiah 40:28-31

Flip Your Complaints

I don’t know about you, but life can really get to me sometimes! For instance, the long hours at work that blur into the never-ending chores at home. If you show up to our house unannounced, there will be piles of laundry everywhere you look. Finally, it’s time to sleep, but not before washing baby bottles—again. 

You know what I’m talking about. The physical and mental exhaustion keeps coming back. When it does, we get stressed out and overwhelmed, which makes complaining really easy! Still, letting all my frustrations out through mouthy griping and complaining doesn’t help anyone. Just ask my husband. In fact, it nearly always makes me feel worse. So why do I do it? Out of the mouth, the heart speaks, and my heart is selfish! We all have selfish hearts.

So how do we stop it? Here’s one thing that’s helped me to be less selfish. Think of what you complain about. Then, flip it. You’re probably complaining about some of your greatest blessings you never earned in the first place. Next time you want to complain about your job, flip it and thank God for providing for you through it. The bottles I wash every night belong to another gift from God, my baby, whom I absolutely love and adore. My husband, who also gets tired and stressed out, is an amazing dad and my best friend. 

When we look longer at our circumstances to see the true gifts they are, we can flip most anything into praise. Complaining brings discontentment and makes me feel empty. But running to Jesus with both my pain and my praise fills me up every time. And His grace is never-ending, just like the laundry in my living room. 

-Catie, complaint flipper

Pray: Jesus, thank You for every blessing You’ve given me. Help me run to You when I’m feeling worn down. You are my joy and my sustainer. In You I have more than enough. Thank You, again, for Your love and grace! Amen. 

Scriptures: Proverbs 11:12-13, Proverbs 20:19, James 3:3-5, James 5:13-16

Gossip Crushing

Maybe, like you, I didn’t think I had a problem with gossip. When I thought about it, I imagined a bunch of other people sipping iced tea and spilling the juiciest rumors. You know, because it’s always the other people. I thought I couldn’t relate. Then I dug a little deeper.

There are two primary factors that turn a conversation into a gossip session: when I’m trying to make myself look better at someone else’s expense, and when I’m sharing embarrassing information about someone without their knowledge or permission. 

As I began to think about gossip this way, I recalled some conversations with my wife.

When I was passed over for that promotion, I consoled myself by explaining why the other guy didn’t deserve it.

When our finances didn’t look so great, it felt better to discuss all the reasons why that other couple had more money.

When we didn’t agree with someone, we chose to talk with another couple about all the reasons why they were wrong instead of addressing the issues directly.

Gossip does affect me—in a big way. And, like we read in James 3, if I can’t control my tongue, the rudder, my whole life could head off course. Do you ever feel like your big fat mouth leads you away from God? There’s good news: You can crush gossip. Here’s how. Admit it as sin to God and people you love. Then, pray for help and forgiveness. Ask the Holy Spirit and people you trust to remind you whenever it flares up. Finally, crush it again with some more honest prayer and confession. 

-Michael, gossip crusher

Pray: God, You know my heart. Reveal to me the ways I use words to push others down to lift myself up. Forgive me. Holy Spirit, give me the strength to crush gossip in my life. Amen.

Scriptures: Proverbs 12:22, Proverbs 6:16-19, Philippians 4:8

Deflate Lies With Truth

I was sharing something untruthful about my childhood years ago. What I said was actually a bit of a fabrication.

Man, that sounds so much better than saying I lied, doesn’t it? We dress up lying with some fancy, intelligent-sounding words so it won’t sound too bad. 

We’ve all lied, and most of us feel guilty when we do. However, we tend to put stipulations on lying. If we won’t lie on our taxes, to our spouse, or at work, what about the little fabrications that we tell? We answer “fine” to keep people from getting too close and know how we’re really doing. We tell our kids to say we aren’t home when the doorbell rings. We make ourselves the hero of a story. We tell our boss we’re almost done with a task we forgot to start.

All growth starts with honesty. So let’s be honest—all these “little fabrications” are lies. 

The Bible is clear on this one. God hates lying. Thankfully, He does love us, but He does not like it when we sin. And when I lie, I sin.

Here are three common lies and the truths we can use to deflate them.

1. Lie: We lie to ourselves because we’re afraid reality is more than we can bear. Truth:Reality may be more than we can bear, but He is made strong in our weakness. 

2. Lie: We lie to others because we don’t want the discomfort accountability brings.
Truth: We confess to God for forgiveness; we confess to others for healing.

3. Lie: We lie to God—maybe because we’re afraid He’ll stop loving us.
Truth: God knows all and sees all, yet He still loves all. 

So, let’s turn our good intentions into honest actions. Let’s deflate lies with honesty. Let’s be truth-seekers, truth-lovers, and truth-tellers in all we say and do.

-Cindy, truth-teller

Ask: Where do I need to grow? How can I start with honesty? 

Scriptures: Proverbs 18:4, Matthew 28:16-20, Mark 16:15

Where He Wants You to Go

You’ve heard from Brandon, Catie, Michael, and Cindy. You know your life will follow your words because your mouth is like a rudder, saying what your heart wants. You know that to go where you really want to go, you’re going to have to grow in places you’re not so sure you want to grow. 

We’re going to be comparison destroyers who know who we are and Whose we are. We’ll flip complaints into praise by looking longer at our gifts and then up to the God who gave them. And when we want to push others down with gossip, we’ll crush gossip instead with our own confession. Then, when our big fat mouths want to lie, we’ll call it what it is and cling to the lie-deflating truth of God’s great love. 

Want to know something? Your mouth matters to God. He has a story for you to tell. It’s called the Gospel, which just means good news. You might know all this. It’s the good news that His Son is all the grace anyone could ever need to overcome death and find a full and eternal life with a loving Father. 

After He rose from the dead, and before He went back to be with His Father in Heaven, Jesus reminded us why our big fat mouths matter. With His last words, He asked us to go into all creation and proclaim the good news. We’re going to need our mouths for that. So let’s get them pointed in the way He wants us to go!

Pray: God, use my life and my mouth to tell Your story. You know where I fall short with my words. I ask for more of Your help so I can make You known in the world. Amen!